The skies darkened
by Toasted1
Summary: I don't know what to think of this! Hopefully someone else does.
1. Chapter 1

The skies darkened, and rain began falling in a slow, musical patter. Epona had always liked the rain, and the wind that brought it. She turned to face the wind, eyes close. _It feels like a cold kiss_. It meant a quiet day beside the fire, a book and sleepy, quiet, people. In the provinces, farm work would be at a standstill, and people would gather for merry nights.

Tara seemed restless, eyes always scanning the horizon. Frowning, she spoke: "We'll keep moving. It'll be hard to follow us in the rain; we should keep going." Epona was inclined to agree. Pursuers always seemed to dog them, and this would give them the chance to disappear. They could just be another pair of travellers. "Maybe we should. We'll be safer afterwards." Tara didn't answer, her frown deepening. Epona felt a sudden unease at the silence, until the red-haired woman gave her a brief smile. _She speaks in other ways._ She smiled back, trying not to let the fluttering in her stomach overwhelm her. Tara's eyes were warm and luminous. _I've never felt like this before, never._

Epona had never been blind to beauty, whether it be of the world, or animals, or people, but she had always felt distance. Men and women seemed superfluous, a temporary distraction at best, something easier left to the side. A part of her had always been frozen, a distant observer, even as she moved and acted. Sitting and reading books seemed far more pleasant than rushing around. And then she had found numbers and their spiralling dance and that cold, wonderful place had enveloped her... but people kept dragging her back... dragging her down... _that was what I was meant for... __**built**__ for... but it wasn't enough! They wanted more..._ She had left her old life to learn at a harsh, unforgiving school. A challenged she relished. She would succeed where her father and mother had failed. Those first months it had seemed as if she was possessed with endless, frenetic energy. Many people fell to the sides, unable to withstand the onslaught questions and numbers while she laughed and laughed and spun and wheeled.

And those left after the initial culling of questioning were not the friendliest of people. Sneers and blusters. Some had endless boasts of how cleverly they had cheated on their examinations, how they replaced machinery with prohibited pieces, how they skipped the lectures and used knowledge the way a the barbarian would. All they needed was a good cover, and that the work be done as quickly as possible. These were her fellow truthseekers? The future builders of the world? And those who had seemed most deserving were not rewarded, it seemed. She had not been alone... a friend of a friend took his own life before their examinations. Her friend was a tiny, brilliant man who could emit an endless stream of words, went reeling: "He seemed fine when I left him." Words he repeated endlessly all night until they lost meaning. _Maybe I should of kissed him that night. Or just hugged him_. Soon, he was gone too. _He left me behind without a word: the same way I left my family behind_. They had both been blind. _She knew truths, but not enough_. And suddenly, cracks spiderwebbed around her.

And finally, disaster struck her unexpectedly but predictably. One of her brothers, a kind and gentle soul, went berserk. He had sent her letters with strange undertones. She had replied with amusement: _it's simple!_ In truth, the swirling dance of the numbers had dizzied him, and he had been too proud to ask her help. He had been unable to do even the simplest of mathematics his military training required. And she had been too blind to _see_.

Her final examination was exactly what she had expected; she had stared at those very same questions night after night. But the words she wrote made no sense. She walked in a daze, lost in a labyrinth. Without a second thought, her teachers ended her journey. "Such as shame! You seemed to be enjoying yourself." _Ignorance was fine, but failure was unacceptable_. She had returned to her family home, shaken and shamed. Accusations flew: she had been the weakest one of them all, it seemed. What would she do? Was her work done? Was her life? _I had never feared death._ _My father saw to that!_ But now she knew that worse things existed. Proof enough of souls, she supposed.

And then... Tara had smashed her way into her life. She had seemed so noble. So pure... _Beautiful_. She was an Avatar of everything that could be made right again. That the broken could be made stronger than before. Tara understood everything she didn't! Epona would have followed her regardless of her capture and slavery. And then... that night... it had been so quick... she barely understood how it had happened. A new story had swallowed her, that of Epona and Tara. _She loves green eyes. She loves my tired green eyes._ She still didn't understand how Tara had known what she needed. She had pinned her to the ground, and sent fire blasting into her. _I think I'll take it slow_... Desire like she had never known before, a rush so powerful she would have bent and broken her had the flood not been stopped... she was pinned under a new world, shocked and alive. Tara called it rape later... and perhaps it had been... _I knew I would never be the same after that night._

It was the most wonderful and horrible thing that had ever happened to her.

And now she pretended. That everything was fine. Her machinery was covered. She was lying about what and who she was. But Tara _knew_ that... _I'll tell her anything she wants to know... but she won't ask...I don't know what to do... if I lose her? What then? Will she hate me?_ _She should be with Drea... shouldn't she? Drea could so much more for her than me... could make her so much happier. But I LOVE HER just as much!_ It was likely that she would die at Tara's hands, one day or another, and she knew she would deserve it.

Of course, the world didn't stop turning. They still had far to travel. It would be the height of selfishness if Epona interrupted Tara's story. Tara's own needs were as great as her own. But maybe she could help. _I've never been good with anything except words and numbers... and listening to the music of others._

Even now, with this spectacular person before her, she was immobile. _Do something!_ Epona's placed a foot forward, and another, strange instruments that would bring her what she wanted if she could only figure out _how they worked_. Tara pulled her in closer. "Do you want something?" Her voice was low, amused. Epona was voiceless. She leaned into the warm form, tilted her head back, feeling rain peppering her face. Tara's arms enveloped her. Epona was weightless. "I think you want something! But what could it be?" Tara spoke with wry amusement. The woman peered around. "What do you think Bran? Maybe she wants a carrot?" The horse turned with mild interest at the sound of his name. "An apple? Hmm... maybe later. We have to get going." _Out in the rain? We should... stay here... but how to convince her?_

_My words! Gone!_

Epona brought a hand to those soft lips and softly trailed a finger along those delicious edges. Tara's eyes darkened. "Oh... A new game? We'll you aren't going to beat me at it, twerp!" With that said, Tara placed the tip of a finger against Epona's mouth and moved it across and around it, rainwater letting it glide smoothly along. Her other hand trailed down to the small of Epona's back, pressing lightly into her with a gently, insistent, rubbing. Epona's shivers betrayed how badly she was losing this fight. Tara's lips curved in a smile. Epona nipped at the delightful digit before her, and Tara's low gasp told her she might just win this contest. "You little cheat... ha..." Tara's words trailed to a soft growl as Epona managed to capture another digit, and pulled them in until her tongue could press against them completely. The feeling of it was wonderful.

With half her armaments captured, Tara was open. Epona trailed a hand up and down her neck, while the other pressed against that curving, smiling ruby. _So soft!_ Tara's smile eased, and Epona felt her breath quicken. _I'll win this!_ She let that hand moving on her neck slip downwards until it was wedged between their bellies, she could go no further. Epona released Tara's hand, and shivered as Tara withdrew it slowly. Rainwater had begun to darken their clothing. Epona gave her mistress a defiant look. "Ma'am... please let me pass." Tara's eyes were incandescent as their gazed locked once more. "Well... I think we need to get back on the road... we can't waste any time with games." Her voice had an iron timbre that told Epona that she would fight till the end. Only a few months ago, Epona would have agreed. But not now. Epona's need was verging on the painful, but it was an ache that she would happily endure if it meant she could win this most important of games. "Please... Tara... let me... please!" She said it softly.

"Mhmm... Oh... Epona... if only you knew... where my fingers had been!" _Wait, what?! _"Wh-wha-what?" Epona stuttered, eyes wide. Tara gave the girl a quirky grin. Epona leaned back, letting Tara snag the hand she had placed between them. "Gotcha!" Tara's laugh was delighted. "Oh ma'am! You cheated!" _I lost!_ Tara kissed the hand touching her face. "Don't worry... we won't be riding just yet... I've got a game I want to try. Good thing were both right-handed!" The redhaired woman took her hand and led her until they were beneath a larger tree, where the ground was still dry. Tara gently pushed on Epona until her knees touched the ground, and Tara followed suit, so that both where kneeling in front of the other, Tara placing her legs askew so they were the same height. _New game_? Tara wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a hug, they're chests half-touching, while her other went to tug at the front of Epona's leather pants loosening then enough for her to be able to... _Oh!_ _OH! _

_**Yes!!!**_

Epona collapsed against the woman in front of her; she would have fallen over otherwise. Waves of pleasure pounded against her cliffs, the roar echoing throughout her body. Sudden tears where in her eyes, the relief of this dearest touch bringing fire from her depths, once again. "Unnh...ah... _ah!"_ The game was in deadly earnest now, and Epona knew Tara would it end soon to resume the journey under the rain. She couldn't support Tara leaning on her the way she was leaning against her... but she could help. She encircled an arm around her love, and pulled at her leathers until she could slip her hand to where it belonged. "That's right. Yes... right there... r_ight_... _ha_..._ah!_" Tara's usually low voice climbed an octave and she began rocking back and forth. Soon, they matched each other's tempo. Epona felt Tara bury her head into her shoulder, and her encircling arm moved to clutch at Tara's hair. She felt Tara give a shuddering _sob_; her rocking became erratic. Epona felt a sunrise in her breast, feeling her fingers of sunlight _moving_ through the rain. The arm around her shoulder tightened, a powerful vise Epona would give anything to never leave.

Tara fell back to a sitting position, legs askew and folded beneath her, and Epona followed her. Tara's fingers against her stilled and shudders started running through the warm body she was holding. Epona held on, as tightly as she could, until her delight relaxed against her. Epona buried her face into the hair that spilled around her. The _smell_ of it! Tara's hand was inert, but exactly where she needed it to be. Epona managed to sit upon a folded leg, trapping Tara's hand between on her own thigh and against Epona's need. Her own rocking was restrained by the beauty leaning upon her, but Epona would not want to be anywhere else! "I'm sorry Tara! I can't stop! I can't! I'm yours! Oh! .... _ah! AHH! _" A silver disk burst in front of her eyes, lightning screaming through the rain. Shockingly, the felt the fingers against her come to life again, and lightning crashed again. Tara murmured wordless sounds into her ear, the vibrations alone causing colors to swirl across her sight. Epona mewled, a sound almost of agony, as her passion overcame any semblance of reason she once thought she had. Her wildness was restrained by the warm iron band around her. At last, Epona relaxed, slumping against the arms that held her.

The rain was easing, and Epona felt Tara's lips press against the top of her head. "You definitely deserve an apple after all that." Epona curled a hand in the red hair. "Mmm.... you get one first..." Epona breathed in again, the smell of her lover a luxurious perfume. "Epona... I need..." Epona leaned into Tara again, planting a kiss on her nose. "I'll give you anything ma'am... everything!" Tara gave her easy smile. "I need you to move, my leg's asleep." Epona felt her face go scarlet. "OH!" The older woman shook her head. "Don't worry about it. Well just have to stay just a bit longer. I don't object to that."

That was just fine with Epona.


	2. The rain continued to beat a rhytm

The rain continued to beat a steady rhythm, the sky rushing to meet the ground... and between them stood Tara and Epona. It was a cold embrace Epona usually enjoyed, but it was difficult for a body to endure the vast coldnesses of the world without rest. It had rained endlessly this last week it seemed. Epona shivered and clutched her heavy cloak closer. The air was still cold. Ahead of her, Tara continued on her course, her constant beats matching that of the larger world. Epona felt a rush of affection, tinged with envy. _She's strong.... stronger than I can imagine, she's a demigoddess. The terror of Gaelis._ It was natural for Bran to follow Cerberus, just as Epona followed Tara. But while Bran followed the horse ahead for his strength, Epona followed the woman ahead for something else completely. Words failed to capture what that thing was, but Epona only had to close her eyes to feel it. It was a warm blanket, enveloping her from head to toe. It was the sun shining through her closed eyes, no matter where she looked. It was an ache somewhere within her chest, one no surgeon would ever find. It seemed more like a pain sometimes. _Pain is a whistle in the ears of a dog. Or a God. Or Gdo if I spell it sideways. Or dgo. Three times two times one for six permutations total. Goddess has seven letters and around five hundred permutations._

Seeing the woman ahead of her was painful. _She does it alone! I can't equal her, but I can follow her with Bran... I hope!_ She panted the horse below her. Rain continued to beat down. Perhaps the rain was not cold? Perhaps it was she, Epona, who was too hot? She thought of what would happen when the woman ahead stopped. Epona would finally catch up to her... _and what then?_ She knew exactly what she would do; only the manner of doing it would change. A musician had favoured pieces, of course, but he thought of his notes before the symphony. _She will stop. I will catch her. I will love her. A simple sweet song. My favourite one, the one I feel when I close my eyes._ But to open them meant seeing the turned back of her dearest. The sun shone, wherever it was of course, but Epona would still like to see it. _Where are we going?_ At times, she felt... sluggish. Slow. _All I want is a song_. Twenty six letters to the power four permutations: _Tara... Fara....Vera... Sara... Kara... Taza... Mara... Miza... Kera... we can eliminate AAAA, ZZZZ, AAZZ, BBYY... where am I going?_ Food... she could love her with food. Warm food. _When I catch her, I will love her with hot soup and nice bread._ Epona smiled, she felt the warm blanket settling around her tightly. _I will love her with wine and cheese, wine will make her warm. The bed will make her warmer. My bed, so big she will fall in and never leave it, we'll have to build a pillow city and live there. It'll make her hot. Then I'll make her melt. When she stops._ It was important not to stop too soon; Tara needed to be in Romulus, and Epona loved cities, the very best and worst would be on display. _The bigger the better! It will be easy to love her there. I don't know the great cities very well, but I know they have much to know. That's two things I know. I like to know things. That's three! I know it's hard. That's four! Oh Plato, you silly fellow, you should of counted what's in your head when you followed your one thread!_ She laughed. She coughed. The rain kept falling, and Epona wasn't feeling tired at all. _I'm just getting confused again! I hope I remembered to eat this morning! I'd be very silly if I hadn't!_

Ahead of her, Tara peered back, watching her back. Epona smiled at her. _I like her eyes, even when they're all squinty_._ I should tell her that. A note I could sing to her!_ Epona opened her mouth and found that the words were ready to jump off her tongue, but her wind was stuck down below! She coughed again, harder. _Ow._ _Maybe I'll write my note down instead._ Tara pulled her reins stopping, frowning at her._ Uh-oh! Oh, Epona! You did it agggaaiiinnn!_ "Epona? Hey!?" Epona nodded apologetically, her head weaving and bobbing. She swallowed, and coughed. She brought her hand in front of her mouth. Her fingers didn't seem to bend very well. _Is that my foot? _She checked. _Nope. Hand all the way._ Tara was still watching. _I'll need some paper for my note._ The rain would complicate that, she frowned at the sky that had defied her since forever. Lightning and stars far above, just out of reach._ I'll never catch either... how could I ever believe I could have?_ _I'm in between a rock and a hard place._ "Come here." She was being lifted. "Hey... how you doing?" It was hard to believe Tara was saying something like this. She was on Cerberus now, Tara wrapped around her like a blanket. "How about we find a place around here? We can always use some rest. You'd like some tea? I know I could use some." Epona trailed a hand down her arm until it could entwine itself within Tara's. _I'm not tired, I'm just sleepy_, _and Tea would help me, so we shall not get mired!_ She leaned into Tara. Strangely, for once she didn't need anything more. This was enough. This was more than enough. Firewood would be hard to come by with all this rain; the only intelligent thing to do was huddle together for warmth. It was a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Of course, Epona usually felt... _deeply_.... unreasonable when though of Tara for too long. _Maybe I am tired; maybe I did forget to eat_. Epona closed her eyes, and let the sound of rain, hooves, and a soft warm heart lull her to sleep.

Her nightmares were banished when she slept with these arms around her.

She woke to a dark room with a low ceiling, a small fire burning in a small fireplace in the middle of the room. It seemed to be a peasant house, a particularly decrepit one. Tara was over the fireplace, a small pot simmering and a chicken turning over a spit. _She's cooking? Uh-oh..._ There was nothing wrong with eating meat, of course. _I can't believe she's never caught rickets or scurvy_. Animals ate each other, it was natural, and chickens usually had a full life before their tragically tasty end.

Thankfully, Tara wasn't swearing, so things were either perfectly or going very badly indeed. "What're you cooking up Tara?" Tara looked at Epona, her face scrunched into a concentrated expression. "Barley soup with carrots, onions and a... orange thing. Looked like a potato." _Good honest soldier food_. Hopefully no one had died for it. "Err... you washed and sliced the vegetables first, right?" Tara looked indignant. _My kitty is angry!_ "Listen mouse, this is going to be the best thing you've ever eaten. Don't even think otherwise." Epona leaned back. "I can't wait! The chicken smells wonderful." Tara looked pleased. "You know it does. I'm the best at what I do! And what I do isn't pretty... but it's pretty damn tasty!"

"Well you should do it more often; the girl is so thin I can see through her!" It was an old, querulous voice from somewhere in the back of the house. Tara groaned. "Well, that's because you're half-blind you old hag!" Epona stared. An old lady with a pinched face was staring at Tara in a way only the mad would. "Hag!? You and this oaf barge into my house and are stealing my heat! Tearing up my garden! Scaring my cows! Making a mess on my floor! Hag!?" Tara glared at the old lady. "I'll _oaf_ you pretty soon you crotchety old bitch." The woman smirked at Tara. "_HEH_! The way you chased my chickens tells me you're a cross-eyed oaf, too. You'll just fall on your own sword. Then I'll throw rag-girl on the trash heap!" Tara seemed about to explode when the old lady sniffed sharply. "My chicken is burning Oaf!" _The mad... or someone with nothing to lose_. Tara swore in alarm and snatched the bird up, grease flying away. Some of it landed on Tara. Epona winced. Tara's eyes filled with lightning. She held the skewer the way she would a sword._ Uh-oh!_

"Would you care for some chicken... you bitter_ old_ _**witch**_?" The old lady... woman... _troll_... didn't blink. "Yes! With soup too and be quick about it oaf! But feed your ragdoll first! She'll be wheezing all night again, and I ain't sleeping if she is!" Tara turned to Epona. _My Kittykat's hair is standing up!_ Epona tried to hide her smile behind her hand. Tara straightened her back and shoulders and very deliberately turned her back on the glaring lady. "My Lady Doll, would you care for some chicken and soup? In bed or at the table?" Epona inclined her head graciously. "I would be pleased to eat at your table, my noble Oaf." With elaborate care, Tara began setting three places at an old, worn table beside the fire. Wooden spoons, forks and a single well worn knife were their utensils, and four wooden stools. Epona sat up, blanket wrapped around herself and shuffled to the closest stool. Tara was separated the chicken unto three plates, and started dipping a soup bowl into the small cauldron... before being interrupted by the squawking old woman. "The ladle! Use the ladle!" Tara's smile thinned... but held! She snatched up the largest wooden spoon to dip into the soup before handing it a full bowl to Epona. "This is most gallant of you, my sweet oaf." Tara's smile was pleased. "Your smile is reward enough, my Lady." _Even when I'm too tired to want her... I still want her. _Epona smiled up at her. Time slowed down as her heart sped up. "My soup! My soup!" The old woman was banging her spoon on the table. Tara sighed and turned away. _**DAMN HER TO THE HELLS!**_ Epona almost flung her bowl at the trollish woman. Instead, she very obviously took a huge spoonful and shoved it into her own mouth, glaring at the bitter thing in front of her.... _OW! HOT! OW! Ah! Oh!_

Tara had returned with another bowl and set it in front of the old one. "Can I shove anything else down your throat?" The old one sniffed. "No, this is decent enough... if I hold my nose.... and close my eyes." Just as Tara was about to sit, she piped up. "I shouldn't be surprised you forgot the napkins. Corner cupboard, bottom shelf." Tara turned helpless eyes on Epona. Epona gave her an adoring look. _It'll be ok!_ Tara sighed again and came back with three napkins. Epona spread hers on her legs. "I imagine you usually use your sleeves, Miss Rags." _This is getting too much._ Epona bowed her head respectfully. "Madame, I'm sorry for any inconvenience we've caused. We were beset by bandits and have been in search of respite and healing for many days now. To find your roof is an act of charity from the gods, and you yourself must be their messenger... please forgive us, we seek but the gentlest of deeds for those around us and have often been met with cruelty despite our intentions." The old woman lowered her eyes to the bowl before her. "Can't eat beef no'more.... only just in the barley soup." She swirled her spoon around a few times before resuming her meal. In blessed silence. Epona suddenly felt sad for the old woman, and peered dolefully at Tara. Tara grinned back victoriously, her bowl raised in one hand and the spoon dancing in the other.

The meal went quickly, and Epona finished first, for once. "Another bowl of the best soup ever, Tara?" The redhaired woman smiled back. "No, you just go back to bed." Epona puffed up. "I can do this for you!" Tara rolled her eyes. "Fine, why not?" Epona stood, trying not to wobble, and went to pick the bowl up... and as she did so she made sure to press herself into Tara as she leaned in to get it. Tara vibrated like a plucked string. The old woman began coughing. Epona went to the still steaming pot and returned to Tara. She moved the chicken platter aside and sat on the table. The old bird squawked: "Hey!" She plucked Tara's spoon up, dipped it in the bowl, blew on it a bit, and presented it to her chef. The old bird mumbled a bit: "I have to check my chickens..." and left with a shuffling gait. Tara ate ravenously, and didn't complain when Epona banged the spoon on her nose... twice. Epona slipped off the table, and into Tara's lap. She wrapped her blanket around them both.

"Tara, where are we?" The woman raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you supposed to say that right after you wake up?" Tara shrugged. "Anyway... small crap house just outside a small crap town. Usually has a bitter widow in 'em. Twenty kids, and not one visit. We should be glad we didn't find her dead... I guess. Place would have stunk like hell." Epona pursed her lips. "What's her name?" Tara shrugged. "Hey, you were asleep when we got here. The old Bat chased me with a broom for an hour!" Epona tried not to laugh. "Anyway... Back to bed for you. Our host trades her chickens for firewood, and I promised to fix her roof a bit and chop her a tree... or two." A _three of two?_ Epona shook her head. Her ideas were still mixing together. _Careful!_ She focused. The last time Tara had taken a tree down.... and now two? Excitement and fear made Epona shiver. She slipped her hands up Tara's shirt.... to the middle of Tara's chest, feeling for those two soft places she loved. "I better be rested... for dessert." Her hunger made Tara blush and look away. "Well you just get better first; we'll see about... _dessert..._ later." Epona planted a small kiss on her sweet face... and _squeezed_ her just a bit. Tara huffed a small, shuddering laugh. "Yeah! Ok! Dessert!" Epona snuggled into the woman. "You do what you have to do Tara, while the sky is clear. Live big. Fight hard. And a little dessert after... just for you." She kissed Tara's neck. She kissed it again. Her hands did other things... softly... gently... Epona felt hands sliding up her own front. "I think... I'll go to sleep now." She stood and took a few quick bouncy leaps before plunging into bed. A tinge of outrage made Tara eyes brighten. "Damn you _beag luch,_ what kind of girl gives goodbye _fondles_?!" Epona stuck her tongue out and buried herself deeper. "A girl who dreams of storms, and lightning."

She bared her shoulder and softly kissed the sword brand Tara had left on her.

Tara seemed very, _very, __**very**_ reluctant to go, but their host could only check her chickens for so long. And Epona had to dream other dreams too. But this one kept her warm at night.


	3. Chapter 3

_I cranked it up to 11! ___

_Sadly, it was on a scale of 100. ___

_I was... kinda nervous about someone when I wrote it!  
_

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Epona had slept fairly well, all things considered. She was now in that nice spot, the spot between waking and dreaming. There was an art to lazing in bed and letting words and thoughts drift outwards. The only way it could be better were if she had been woken by a kiss. Tara had decided to help the old lady whose house they'd hijacked, and Epona was glad they weren't going around looking for someone to rob anymore. The chance to rest was never something to turn down. Epona had busied herself with cleaning the house and cooking, allowing their hostess to knit away with frenzied activity. _Isn't knitting supposed to calm you?_ The old bird didn't seem to share that opinion, as she attacked and stabbed wool into something that might be a sweater. Granny Weatherwax was not someone who let opportunities go by unseized. Someone might even buy it in the market in the nearby town._ A nice apple pie, that's what we need._ The farm they had found was run down, but had once been very successful. Berries, turnips, potatoes and apple trees mingled with weeds and leafy trees. Untended pastures with a handful of cows and a much too full chicken coop stood nearby. They even had a small but quick river not too far away. With the window open, Epona could hear the musical sound of it. _Wash my hands first!_

She stared into the mirror. Her face stared back. Her skin was pale, almost white, but healthy. Even the circles under her eyes had faded away. Her hair was shiny. Epona didn't know if she was pretty, but she looked healthy at least. She had been resting before she met Tara... but it was only after she met her that she had begun healing. _She did this to me_. _What are the odds that someone with red hair would love someone with green eyes?_ They would eat chicken again... they had since they arrived here. _We need something else. Some... fish!_ The nearby river had rocks placed within it, creating a small, but very deep, pool. Fishing would take time... but spearing a fish could take only moments. _Tara's spear._ It would be a good time to walk Bran and Cerebrus as well. Epona grinned and danced away, her feet barely touching the ground.

Epona stared into the lake. A fish stared back. The trout looked pale, almost blue, but healthy. It looked big, and it would definitely be tasty. Tara would love it. _The angle of light is changed when it passes from water to air and from air to water. The fish isn't where I see it! Who knew stuff you learned in books could be useful?_ She raised the spear with both hands and whipped her whole body forward, legs steady below. She aimed at where the fish _was_, not where it _seemed_ to be. The spear stuck into the mud, stopped by an unseen rock. Unseen, because a fish was pinned above it. Epona stared while it thrashed for a moment. _First try! _Epona whooped with happiness._ Trout tonight! Wait.... trout and apple pie? No way!_ Epona frowned._ Cream sauce works with trout...._ _maybe crème brulée?_ They had cream, sugar and eggs. _Oh oui, ma belle Tara!_ The dessert had a bitter, hard outside... and deliciously gooey sweet inside. A bit like someone she knew... Epona smiled and trudged back to Bran, her eyes on her prize.

She opened the door of the old house to a scene of disaster. The table in the middle of the room had been overturned. "WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS _SHE_?" Tara stood in the middle of the room, glaring murder at their old hostess, who stood in silence with her head bowed and her face grim. "Tara! _Tara_! STOP! Please!" Epona's plea brought Tara's eyes to her. Sudden silence filled the room. Epona felt her heart drop as Tara strode to her, her eyes not cold but burning hot. "Where _were_ you Epona?" Epona stared, frozen. Tara's voice held rage... and a note of anguish. At last, she mumbled "...fish." and held her trout up. Without pause, Tara snatched the spear from Epona's hands and stalked away, to the smaller room they had claimed. The door slammed closed brutally. Epona felt her hands begin to shake.

The trout fell to the floor, forgotten.

Without missing a beat, the old woman shuffled to the overturned table. "Raggy, get here and help me with this." Lightheaded, Epona walked to where Weatherwax pointed. Together they righted the overturned table. The old bird began picking up the scattered plates, mumbling "Stupid oaf" every time she picked something up. Epona found her voice again. "What happened?!" Weatherwax paused and raised an eyebrow. "Your Oaf thought you left with her fancy stick and the horses and had a hissy fit. You help me clean up a bit and then you go knock on her door." Epona nodded numbly. Their hostess looked at the fallen fish and smiled. "Nice trout! I'll clean it up." Epona nodded again.

_Eyes on the prize._

She knocked softly. "Tara? It's me. I'm coming in." Epona pushed the door open. Tara sat on their bed, her eyes on the tip of her spear. She seemed to be searching for faults. It was a simple weapon, but very well made. It took an experienced eye to see the craftsmanship and small details. It was an apprentice's work. An apprentice on the verge of becoming a master. One who was too busy with other things to do anything but quick, excellent work. Epona swallowed. "Tara... I'm here... I won't leave... unless you want me too." Tara gave a wordless sound of acknowledgement. Epona padded softly to her. "Tara?" At last, Tara looked at Epona, her eyes red. "I'm not going to be a... a damn _farmer_ Epona! I'd kill myself first! I'd cut my wrists open first! Is that what you want? Do you want to get rid of me?! Then just _SAY SO_!" Epona shuddered. Visions of her mother returned to her. _She always wore long sleeves, even in summer._ Epona half fell and half sat upon their bed. For a brief, frightening moment, the idea of Tara being gone flashed before her._ NO!_ Epona drew a shuddering breath... and remembered. "No. I don't... don't believe you Tara. You would never do that. Never. Not you." Tara seemed to have an angry reply, but Epona continued on. "I remember that night in the forest... when someone almost killed me, when you fought to save me! How many times did you almost die? I lost count Tara... I wasn't afraid of the end... but you are!" Epona drew another shuddering breath. "I can tell how much you love life Tara. It's so... obvious. You fight so hard. It's why... I... I think... I love you... it's part of the reason." Tara was silent.

"You don't know much about me... and I don't know much... about you. You told me about Maggie once... so I'll tell you two stories, a sad one... and a funny one." Epona tried to smile. "My father... used to be a teacher. Respected. One day... a student of his annoyed him too much.... and he tried to strangle him. The student was the son of a slave, but the slave was educated, and belonged to an important man. My father lied, and said the child had done it himself. But bruises like that can't be faked. And how can anyone trust children to a man who could do that? So we moved, far, far away. To where you found me." Tara looked at Epona, her face grim... and tears in her eyes. "Epona... do... I frighten you... like he... like him?" Epona couldn't lie about this. "Yes... a bit. But you would never do... he loved death, Tara. He loved it more than anything. He called it war and glory... but... it was always the butchering he relished. He taught me to love it too... all my brothers... are... were... soldiers. Only me and my sister wanted something else... but every month I've been alive... I've thought about my end. I've wanted it... to end" Epona fell silent. There was confusion and misery in here face. Tara grabbed one of Epona's hands. "Tara... you frighten me even more... because you might make me want to live." Epona turned away abruptly. Frowning, Tara spoke: "Did he ever..." Epona smiled sadly. "No. I always behaved just like I should. Always. I knew he wouldn't punish me.... he would just kill me." She couldn't even imagine what was in Tara's eyes right now... much less look into them.

"Anyway! Time for a funny story now! So... once upon a time, I went to a very big party. I brought enough money for two drinks, but they handed out free beers too! For _free! _So I had some of that too! And so I got very _very _drunk. It only took three beers!" At this, Epona lifted her hands and rolled her eyes. "I'm a cheap date, I guess! But after the fourth beer... I didn't throw up.... No! Something much much worse happened." Epona turned back to Tara with a grin. "No. I started... to _dance_!" Epona leaped backwards, kicked a leg out... and spun! Tara gave a small chuckle. "And I danced! That night, I _danced!_ And two hundred people stopped to stare." Epona's voice lowered to a dramatic tone. "And not one was laughing." Tara grinned. "You must be good!" Epona struck a dramatic pose. "I was unbelievably and incredibly _bad!_ After the first hour, they told me stop and sit down in the corner. They started asking me if had taken any powders or something. I told them _no!_ and then I jumped up and ran and danced until my feet hurt so much I had to sit down!" Epona took a few dancy steps and then stood on the tip of her feet. "So then some boys tried to dance with me, but I just couldn't stop laughing at them... so they tried to pee on me! So I jumped up again and ran again! And everyone wanted to speak to me... and some nice girls and pretty boys followed me... But my words were too crazy! So I jumped up on stage with the musicians! But I was too tired to dance and just shuffled around." Epona gave an exaggerated grimace and shook her head. "So... one of the girls in charge of the party stood in front of me and yelled _kneel down and kiss my feet!_ And I kind of did, in front of everyone! She had a very big and huge pink scarf. It was the first time I kissed someone because I wanted too... other than an aunt or uncle. Very tasty... the uncles, the aunts and the shoes!" Epona gave an exaggerated leer and licked her lips. Tara's laugh was a sweet sound.

At last, she Epona walked to the bed, hands extended. Tara took them. For a long moment they looked at each other in silence. "Wow... This got crazy fast, just because of a fish! How about you wash up a bit, go take a nice dip in that deep blue river we have out back and then have a good nap. We'll eat after. I was planning something tasty... but we got carried away a bit." Tara exhaled and nodded. Epona ruffled her hair a bit. "And don't you forget to say _I'm sorry_ to Granny Weatherwax. Just because she's too mean to have her own pretty kitty doesn't mean she doesn't like my red Kittykat." Tara nodded silently. Epona stared at her, feeling a sudden lump in her throat. "Oh Tara... you... I..." Epona leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek. "You can always find a better person that me Tara. Lots of people will love you if you let them. Better people than me. Someone who isn't as good at lying as me. Someone who won't go crazy. Someone good."

Tara smiled. "Will I? Well... you just show me this trout you caught. I'll decide for me." Epona smiled a bit sadly. Warmth and coldness swirled within her. _I'll never be what she wants or needs, but one more friend can't hurt... can it?_ "I'll try and make it spicy and sweet."


	4. Chapter 4 You don't have to

_This is the sorta thing that gets you kicked outta an apartment!_

*********

The dinner was delicious. Epona had gone through the motions many times before, but only now did what she create have any flavour, any interest, any meaning. But not for her. For her, the meal was the sound of a fork hitting a plate, an eager movement for a half full platter. Tara and the old Weatherwax had eaten happily, the meal had gone smoothly. _I did this. I made someone happy. What more could I ever want? _It was a simple dish: fish, potatoes and a treat for dessert. Epona rarely felt hunger. When she ate, it was a task: eat to be strong, to do work, to be well. Her cooking had been mocked before, but chemistry was a subject she had enjoyed, and cooking was only a more artistic expression of a deeper idea. _The only way to be sure is to derive the needed result from first principles. Fresh food is best._

"Not bad Epona. This is pretty good." Tara's voice was laconic, but her empty plat spoke for her. Epona smiled, trying not to grin. Granny Weatherwax had eaten with a silent intensity that had been pleasing, if somewhat frightening. "Did you like it Granny?" The old eyes darted up. "Aye, girl. Something new is always nice." The trout had served well. Epona understood it. It was a creature that lived its life in the deep cool ocean, under profound pressure, yes, but also free of all constraints. There, it was strong and fast. But one day, something would happen... was it the weather? The sunlight? The tide of the moon? The trout felt a pull greater than it had ever felt before. It was willing to leave the safety of the oceans for the shallow rivers; a place of danger and strangeness. If any fish could be noble, the trout would be. But many never reached their destination. Countless predators stood in its path... bears, wolves, mountain cats.... but those who were eaten served a greater purpose still. _Any river with significant trout activity will have a healthier ecosystem. The trout carcasses are rich in nitrates and ocean minerals, and any forest where they lie will be greener and more fertile. Once eaten, the predator leaves them behind. The trout has to die. It so obvious. For them. For her. To make her stronger than any tree in the forest. To deepen her shade and widen her bough. To make her reach even higher for the sun. To let her catch lightning. For Tara. _Epona felt an ache in her chest. She couldn't stop smiling at Tara, an idiot smile that just couldn't be moved from her face. The Gaelis women smiled back knowingly, her brown eyes twinkling. Epona's ache spread and deepened. _I can't keep this up_. _She's turning me into an animal. A hungry one. A crazy one_. Epona reached for a glass of water and gulped a mouthful... and another... and almost choked when she felt a foot rub against hers below the table.

"Umm! Say! Did you know the foot is very complicated thing? We fall forward and it shoots ahead to catch us. And running is even harder, you've got all these swinging pieces... but the foot still matters a lot. Some people think we should run without shoes! Just like the ancient Greeks. We have to learn to run using the feeling alone, and shoes deaden that. We can feel the ground, and whenever we feel pain, it's only because we're running badly. You can land on the tip, the middle, or the heel, but what matters is the feel! Everyone should be able to run anywhere, if the Gods gave us bad feet we'd all have been wolf food, long ago. A bad runner will always feel pain in their knees and ankles, and have weaker feet, which is not good! Heavy boots just hide the truth!" The other two stared at her. The old Weatherwax _humphed!_ "Not wearing shoes? Stupid! Everybody wears shoes! Everybody can't be wrong! I'll be buried in these boots, thank you very much." Tara was grinning. "Didn't those Ancients run around naked? Are you trying to tell me something Pony?" Epona felt heat flush into her face. _Oh gods... I just put my foot in it. _Tara's smile was lascivious... luscious.

The old bird squawked: "Dishes!" and began piling the plates upon one another. Epona was almost grateful. Almost. Once the dishes were cleaned, the old bird drifted to the chair beside the fire. The circular firepit in the middle of the room was blazing merrily. Tara busied herself with drying the clean plates while Epona filled a kettle for tea. As she hung it above the fire, Epona stared into it... _If I had succeeded I would have enough money to buy this place... any place. I could have gotten her anything. But I would never have met her, never have wanted her. I almost became a monster. But what am I now? What does she see when she looks at me?_

Tara had finished sorting the utensils and walked up to the boiling kettle. "Hey! Where's my tea?" Epona shook herself. "Oops! Sugar or honey Tara?" Tara frowned. "Make it as bitter as you can with a cloud of milk." At the same time, she held two fingers up, out of sight of the old bird. _Huh? Oh!_ _Sugar and honey both._ _She can be so sneaky!_ Epona busied herself filling some cups. Epona served the old woman first. Tara frowned. "Don't forget who owns you Pony." Her voice was cold. Epona shivered. "I'm sorry Tara." Tara's eyes flashed. "That's ma'am." Epona swallowed. "Yes, ma'am." Tara nodded. _Disaster averted... for now_. Epona took a cup. It had a nice floral pattern, but was a bit chipped. Epona didn't take a seat for herself but knelt beside Tara and rested her head on her love's leg. Epona felt a callused hand gently settle against her face, the tips of those fingers trailing below her jaw. She sighed, her tea forgotten.

Finally, Tara stirred. "Well... this is good. But I think I'm ready for bed. Come on mouse." Epona blinked. She had almost drifted to sleep. "It's a bit early Tara... maybe after another cup of tea?" Tara's eyes widened. "Epona!?" Epona winced. "Not so loud! Granny is asleep." Tara glared at her. _Yes. You have to play to win Tara. Sorry! _Epona was silent for a moment or two before she spoke: "Tara, did you clean our room today?" _ A hint! _Tara seemed almost disbelieving. "Me? I was a bit busy outside, you know." Epona _tsked._ "Tara, it would only take five minutes. We can't sleep in a mess." _Tara could order me there... but then it's an order! And she can't do slave work herself._ Epona waited. Good moves took time. "Epona... I need you to... change your clothes. And mine. It's been a long day. Now." _Well, that will get me in the room, at least. _Epona got up and walked to the bedroom door, a thing of simple, thick wood. It seemed to loom impossible large. Behind her, Tara was a silent, dangerous presence. Epona opened the door and paused. Fading daylight, made beautifully colored as it went through the autumn leaves, illuminated the bed in a light; low and warm. "Oooh! Tara look!" Tara's hand rested on her shoulders. They opened and closed possessively as they both looked at the glowing room. Epona was about to remark on the interesting chemicals behind autumn leaves when Tara shoved her inside and closed the door behind her.

Epona was spun around and Tara's mouth crashed against hers! Epona gasped and tried to pull away, but Tara clutched at her with iron strength. "Slave... undress youself. Now!" She sounded almost pained. Epona shied away, but one of Tara's hands was still clamped to her. "Tara!" The red haired women eased her grip and paused. Epona stepped inwards, gently pushing the woman until her back was against the wall. "Ma'am." Epona stood on her toes leaned her head back. Tara's lips where against hers once more. They were warm. Epona felt a tongue press on top lip. _So eager. _"Tara... you know I want this. Don't worry." Tara slid down the wall a few inches. "I am not worried!" Epona kissed her forehead and then gazed into her brown eyes. "Be nice. That's all." Tara's hands were restless and roving, almost adolescent-like, but her own simply went to where she felt they were needed. Tara's breath soon came in brief gasps. Epona leaned back, her own breath breathing shallow. "Oh Kitty, don't try so hard! Just... let it be." Suddenly, a shuddering went through the redhaired women and she pushed Epona away. "_Be nice! That's all!_" she hissed! and she suddenly rushed Epona, lifting the girl and tumbling them both down to the bed! Epona was pinned below! "Tara, wait!" Tara was glaring down at her. "You are not going anywhere girl! I'll show you a cat! I'll show you a lioness!" She eased back and quickly began untying Epona's tunic. Once the cloth parted, Epona could only gasp as Tara pressed her palms down on her chest... _right... there!_ Epona's back arched. "Mmm! Ah!" Tara leaned forward, and kissed her again, catching Epona's escaping moan. Epona felt hands pulling at her clothes.... _oh so eager!_

Epona saw lights when she closed her eyes. They were beautiful and scary. When she opened them she could see Tara above her. She was beautiful and scary. She was pressing and petting her firmly but gently now. _Oh kitty!_ She tried to speak but Tara's fingers trailed electricity wherever they touched her. Everywhere else was on fire. It seemed like she was covered in a hundred tiny secret boxes, and Tara intended to open every one. Tara leaned back with a laugh. "Who's the amateur now?" Epona tried to catch her breath. "_Oh..._If... I had known things... would be... _hah_... like this I would... of done things differently..." Tara looked smug. "I'll bet! And now... I've figured something out! You and your hands... and now that strange story about feet. It gets a girl thinking..." _What? No!_ Epona stared in shock as Tara shifted, grabbed one of her ankles with one hand and with the other she pressed... and rubbed... her foot... she brought it to her lips...

Epona convulsed and cried out.

"Woah! Damn!" Tara fell over as Epona twisted wildly to get away. Sense returned to Epona as she saw Tara rubbing her nose with a pained expression. "Oh no, Tara! I'm so sorry. I'm sorry!" Tara seemed more amused than angry. "Ok... ow... Alright, you're getting plan two." _Plan two?_ Epona watched with bemusement as Tara grabbed her own belt and Epona's from the floor. "Hands." Epona presented her wrists, and had her own belt wrapped around them. It was many soft leathers cords woven into a bundle. It was faded but still looked and felt nice. "Not too tight?" Epona shook her head. "Fold a leg in." Epona did as instructed. "Good Pony." Tara looped her belt around that leg. "I'm going to be a bit rough Pony. I'm riding you wild tonight." _No. Just kiss me... don't..._ "Nooo...." Tara hugged her. "Hush now... you know you'll love it. I'll be holding you the whole time. We can't just kiss and hold hands all the time..." _Why not!? _"Wh-why..." Her heart was hammering in her chest! "You'll be tied down... just like Ulysses and the sirens. Remember?"_ That's a good story._ Tara entwined her fingers into Epona's toes and brought her foot back up... _and she licked the arch_..._!!!!!!!!!... **!!!!!!!!!**  
_

It had happened once before to Epona. She had been studying endlessly one night, when she suddenly decided to close the lights and lie down on the floor, beside her chair. She hadn't understood. _The trout never understands_. Or rather, it seemed something that wasn't understandable. What had once been only lights and color was now unbelievable. Impossible. It seemed like what the ancients wrote of when they spoke of infinity, greater dimensions and ideal forms. Laughing Squares, happy Circles, and marvellous Polyhedrons unfolded and folded into one another as she watched. Colors so vibrant they seemed to be burning. Purple splotches rained down on her eyes before blossoming into red flowers. They danced with the wild drumming of her heart. Far away, she felt herself shaking, felt Tara's weight pushing down on her, felt her hands fluttering and her toes painfully clenched around something.

She may have been screaming.

The pleasure never ended for Epona. The pain simply began to eclipse the other, a balance that always tipped one way. She was on the bed and wedged against the wall, Tara pressing into her and stroking her face. "Pony! I'm sorry! Just... say something! Please!" Tara was crying! "Tara? What's wrong?" Tara stopped. "Pony! Are you ok?" Epona laughed languidly. "I feel good. A bit sore. I feel like sleeping." Tara laughed. "Damn it Epona! What the hell was that!?" There was evident relief in her voice. Epona smiled. It was nighttime now. "Tara... how long did we... umm..." Tara shook her head. "I did... about thirty minutes... of stuff.... But you stopped moving! I almost thought you stopped breathing! And your heart was beating so fast! It's almost been an hour." Epona couldn't do anything except smile. "Sorry Tara." Tara groaned and rolled away. Epona stared at her adoringly._ I can do anything right now!_

She shifted closer to the other woman. "Tara. I want to do it." Tara blinked and her brown eyes widened. "You don't have to... if you don't want to. I know... you like...clean... places." Epona looked at Tara with a smoky intensity. "Ma'am. Do you... want me too?" she gently whispered. Tara stared back. "You don't... you don't..." Epona kissed her, stilling the words. She kissed her neck. She kissed the valley of her chest. She lovingly explored the hills of that valley. She ran her hands up and down Tara's sides. She kissed her belly. She trailed her hands around Tara's navel, gentle circular orbits with soft fingers and warm waves with her palms. At then... she could go no further, the trail diverged down two paths. She could have continued down a thigh perhaps... but if Tara could choose her path for her...The smell was strong... The taste would be stronger still, she imagined._ I'd always avoided... I mean... it's not a bad place. It's just messy. It's a messy place._ Tara was watching her, unblinking. Epona blew a soft breath on her place. Tara still didn't blink... but she did swallow, and bite her lower lip. _Tara's mess... how can it be bad? And if Tara isn't bad, how can her mess be? It's a good mess. It's a wonderful mess._ "You have a beautiful mess. Wow." The redhaired woman seemed to try not to smile. "Wow?" Epona couldn't seem to stop smiling right now. "I'm new... but I'll... make it up for it with enthusiasm..." Tara seemed about to laugh when Epona kissed her. She peered up. Tara had grabbed the side of the bed with one hand and a pillow in the other. Epona kissed her again... fully and completely. Tara's breathing began to deepen... Epona's hands began trailing up and down the smoothness of her inner thighs. Epona was still looking into Tara's gorgeous brown eyes when she closed her own... and began a deep kiss that didn't end.

***

**:d ↔ :p = ****:D**~


	5. Chapter 5

_I thought I was out of steam... but Epona can't seem to stop thinking of kissing! She's gone haywire! Her wires are crossed! Sparks, cathodes and anodes! Zounds!  
_

*********

Somewhere outside, a rooster crowed.

Epona woke up with a strange feeling in her heart. When she opened her eyes to see Tara beside her she knew she felt bliss. The woman was sleeping peacefully, her eyes closed and her face so calm and peaceful it was hard to believe it belonged to Tara. _Gods, I want to wake her... but she looks so cute!_ Last night's wildness seemed to linger even today, warmth lurking under the blanket they both shared. Epona didn't want to ruin this moment with something unwanted. Especially since Tara usually got up with dawn and she could rarely enjoy her like this. _I guess I wore her out for once... Poor kitty! She's licked! _Epona vibrated with silent laughter.

She could get up and make breakfast, of course. Tara liked food, and Epona liked cooking for her. But she had to disentangle herself first. And that would wake her sleeping knightress. _How best to waste this time?_ _With a little bardic claptrap, of course! _When was the last time she sent burning words to someone?

The last time had been to a famous playwright who seemed morose, pondering how best to send a cataclysm to the world he had created. George RR Martin was his name, and he had often lamented the loss of time for all to hear. But greater still his pain at ending his favourite characters, of breaking the best places. The news had reached even Epona.

She had been looking forward to the next part of his story most... for the dark deeds to become night black... and to better show the brightest of the stars. A strange feeling had come over her when she saw his sadness. She sent him a twisty poem, one made to blast him to life, one so strong Epona couldn't even remember the words. Great spells could only be done once... He never thanked her directly or the others who soothed him, but the next month he proclaimed "I have the weirdest fans!" and seemed cheered.

What would Tara dream of if she tried it on her? She seemed to be peaceful, but Epona missed her laughter, missed the wild, crazy things the woman made her do. Missed the adventure. Missed the strange companionship they had. Missed kissing her...

Missed the way woman made her melt with happiness in bed. This bed. This very same bed.

Epona wetted her lips and cleared her voice and leaned over the ear of her sleeping spark... she made her voice quiet and low... low but slow... a warm clear flow... made to show...

_O Red apple here besides me  
You've ended my misery  
With a warm word you've set me on fire  
With blood so hot, I thought I would expire_

_The bitter winter I do not fear  
Neither plague or steel or beast  
Could deprive me of this wondrous feast  
Could chase me from here_

_Two demigods are we  
But I seem only glass half-empty  
When you are not burning me in bed  
When I learned to love giving you head!_

_Now slumber well and deep  
For one love you have at least  
I love you, when it's dark and bleakest  
I love you, so much... I don't weep!  
_

Epona fell silent again. Something should have happened. It had humor. It had despair. I had... love! _Now would be a good time for you to wake up and kiss me Tara!!_ The red haired woman was silent and sleeping. At least she could hold her love in her arms, at least she had that. What would she do without her?

But was that a small smile? Was that a loving sigh? Was this a warm embrace? Was this a warm kiss? Was this her quick tongue, all slow as it loved? Was this only a dream?

"Did you say something Epona? I think I'd like to hear it again..." Epona felt heat rising up to her ears. "Umm... just... a bit of song..." _Made only and just for you Tara._ Tara smiled a bit. "Well I'm up now_. _But... err... breakfast can wait... how about you sing that song a tiny bit louder _beag luch_? That rooster was loud."

Epona almost was bursting with steam just right then! Almost! But not quite..."Will you... kiss me... if I do?" Tara smiled. "Maybe I might do more than kiss."

Well Epona couldn't say no to that!


	6. Chapter 6 Epona wants caramel for Tara

_  
Epona means the best, but the road to hell and good intentions... Gosh... I kinda feel pity for poor crazy Epona! _

_But mostly I'm worried for Tara! She's toughest girl there is, but who can cope with crazy?_

******

Epona was settling down for a brief nap... and she didn't really know why. She should have been working... that's what she needed. But she was thinking of Tara, even if she wasn't around. _What should we eat today? Something spicy! She loves heat. Chili con carne! _A bit of beef, some mashed tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, beans and the hottest spices she could find and maybe some sour cream. They didn't have the _three sisters_ in this world did they, or chocolate? No _maize_ or squash, only beans. Epona didn't think so, at least. But cinnamon was around, at least, imported from a strange distant land. It would make a nice dish, and its spices would preserve it well. Some people hid greasy meat under all the flavours, but quality always shone through. Tara would be able to tell when she tasted it. _She trusts her feelings... and knows when she smells a rat or a mouse_. The only downside was it could make them too spicy to kiss each other... kiss and... other things... _Darn it! Think of something else!_

But where to get all that? Onions, beans and tomatoes they had, but peppers and beef meant a trip to the market... and crowds. _It's a small town, they can't be too crowded... It'll be nice!_ But it also meant going outside... without Tara. Epona felt a sudden tightness. _It'll be ok, I'll warn her this time... and tell her I'll be right back. _

Finding Tara wasn't hard, Epona only had to follow the sound of a strident argument between her owner and her hostess. Epona wasn't sure if Tara and the old Weatherwax were becoming good friends or the bitterest of foes. _Well they both like me... I hope!_ Epona could make out the words now. They were both in the barn. Epona padded up softly. Weatherwax's voice had that screechy timbre that could only come with years of practice.

- That's _NOT_ how you churn butter Oaf! You're sloshing it everywhere!  
- I'm improving the technique!  
- You're wasting my milk!  
- The milk you gave me is almost vinegar!  
- Not so! Not so! My cows know how to do their job! Unlike you!  
- Oh really? And you're soooo much better, aren't you? This place is falling apart!  
- Well now! Well now indeed_ Madame! _Is that _so?__  
- Yes!_

Epona watched them quietly. Tara seemed to have to have grabbed two butter plungers in each hand and was hammering away at two buckets at once. A mess was indeed being made, and Tara's shirt was hung away from the splashing droplets. Tara's red hair shook as she hammered away savagely. Granny was mopping the mess... _while_ Tara was making it. The nearby cows watched with the show with detached amusement. Epona relaxed. _All is well._ Some milk sloshed unto Weatherwax... accidently? Tara was grinning... until the Old bird grabbed one of the plungers and tried to bop her on the head. _This is nice!_ Epona let herself laugh softly. _We don't anything else!_

She felt incredible pride that someone as strong as Tara valued her._ Maybe I'm still just a slave to her... one more voice begging for attention... but_ _maybe she loves me_. Epona watched as Tara's arms rose and fell. _She puts her whole body in the movement. _Her sweet Tara was muscular... but not that large, really. Her arms were strong... but lean. Her shoulders were big... the muscles well defined... _I like rubbing them..._ but unlike many who lifted swords all day, Tara had a straight, proud posture that added so much more to her than any simply physical strength... Her bust was nice, but the true pleasure was that Epona knew how sensitive she was there... _I love those raspberries!_ Her stomach was a beautiful sculpted piece that let her move however she wished. _I love the way she moves... against and with me... _Her legs were... amazing. Simply amazing. Tara had hated wearing the Amazon clothing... but Epona thought they could have made a good nightgown for her. _I think I would've of sewn a few red ribbons onto them_. Paradoxically, nightclothes like that guaranteed Tara a warm bed! And at night, her brown eyes became so dark and so hot. _Her body is so beautiful... because it __**frees**__ her. Strength will free you, if you're not ashamed of it. And so many are. It lets her be who she is, even if others disagree! And so many do. _Epona's soft gaze hardened when her eyes fell upon a large scar her knightress had._ She's not steel. But parts of me are._

_I'll help you Tara! Somehow!_

Epona's eyes fell to her own body. Tara's morning exercise had improved things, but Epona was not a fighter, and never would be._ I don't know how to her help her.._. Her arms were smooth, but forgettable. Her hands were long fingered and agile, but the mind that guided them was empty of techniques. Her shoulders were smooth curves that turned into a long neck. Her bust was... lacking... to put it kindly. But sensitive, as Tara had enjoyed discovering. Her stomach was... a stomach. Flat and soft. _I have nice legs at least... I mean... no one has every disagreed out loud_.

_And she wants me to be like her. And I want that. _

_And her... most of all her._

She was slender and muscular now, made for running and... _not much else_. She had been shocked at how much she and Tara liked the "Not much else". Epona didn't think she could explore the mindbending power of it alone. _I need you Tara... but not for your strength of body... or mind, even if you do have an amazing one... but you're heart. You're heart is so free it can lift me. I'll try not to be too heavy._

Her family was blessed with gifts of body and mind that most would envy. Her great-grandparents had lived for almost a century, and her grandparents would easily do the same. Epona might even live forever... unless she fell to madness. The curse of nobility and greatness, it was said. Epona didn't really agree, one was terror and the other joy. The two couldn't mix. She had seen it often enough...

Would her green eyes fill with mad, wild lightning while her body withered to wraithlessness like her father's body and sky blue eyes had? Would she spout heated, bitter nonsense like her brother? He lived still, locked away in a Romulus sanatorium, a soldier still. But he was forbidden from bearing arms. _He always played Hero, Soldier, fighter... and I played Thinker, Commander... the cold thinking engine._ Would she hide her desire in an iron box and weep in the dark like her mother had? Would she do all three? _She... Tara did... almost did them a favour... except for Marcella... she loved the shallow waters, warm pools, bright clothes and her reflection. Her deepest worry was what color her hair should be this week. I never cared for that stuff very much, only how it felt. We actually didn't get along that well maybe... but I still loved her. She didn't deserve... what... she... did! What she had done! It shouldn't have been like that! No one can predict how battles go. Tara said so!!! It was an accident!!! _

Epona blinked. _What Tara did. What my heart felt. I trusted my heart when I saw Tara, even when she... that night... everyone would of said it was wrong... and every reason I knew said it was wrong. But I felt something then, and I feel even it more now. If I could trust my heart to anyone it would be Tara. And if she sees... a rat... then... I'll know she'll do the right thing. But maybe quality shines through the box?_

But Epona couldn't just stare at her legs all day, or even Tara's... _I want to touch them all day! No! Not today. Well... maybe later... we'll see what Tara says._ Epona gently rapped on the side of the barn door. "Tara? You busy?" Tara was busy fending the old bird away from her plungers. Both women stopped, startled by the sudden sound. "Epona!" Both she and the old bird dropped the contested butter churner. Epona tried very hard not to smile. "Tara, I'll be headed to town for some groceries for supper. Is that... ok?" Tara was frowning. "Yeah... only... get back quick. I don't want to draw any attention." Epona grinned. "I will! I won't!" And with that, she darted away.

Bran was a good horse, but wasn't a plough horse. _I'm a distant cousin on a journey, visiting Granny Weatherwax (no, I didn't know how nasty she was) and I need some foodstuffs, no I don't travel alone, I have a good friend keeping me safe... blah blah blah. _Epona had to watch her dialogue. They needed to see a well off village girl on a trip, not a fallen noble flat on her face. _An adventure!_ Epona started to shake with excitement _Ah! haha-AAH! 2.7182818459!!! _ She leaned against Bran. "Nonono... too much, much too much! No. Relax.... shhhh... good horse... you're not crazy. Just relax... Yes. You're just really really happy right now. That's all. You get to be tricky and help Tara at the same time. Don't get carried away... save that for later." _Save it for Tara._

Epona rode into town casually. _Wow! A new town! But it's kinda like where I'm from, because I'mma farmer too, and we live like this, and I have a no nonsense smile and I loooovvveee pigs! _A young skinny man by the roadside looked at her with interest. Epona gave him an open and honest smile. "Oi! Sir! Where's the market? I need a good price on some peppers." He looked at her with a sharp smile. "Hey now! Nice hair! Come here to steal some kids?" _WHAT!?_ Epona looked at him more closely. He didn't look like a farmer... and that question... "You're a teacher, right?" He seemed flummoxed for a moment, but recovered in a blink and grinned. "Uhh... I teach... stuff. Yeah."

He grinned even wider. "Well... how 'bout I'll tell you where the local bar is, and you can buy _me _a drink!" Epona didn't have to feign her astonishment. "B-but... I've... never..." He rolled his eyes. "Forget about it, naptime is almost done and I gotta work. Just go down the main road." Epona turned away, her composure shaken. _That's never happened before.... a man..._ His smile was nice... he looked intelligent... but his eyes were unkind. _Failed into being a teacher, obviously. Poor kids._ But a bigger problem was clear now._ I don't fit in. I'm too skinny, my hair is too short and a hundred other details are all wrong._ _But I need some spiciness for Tara! Steal kids?! Like an Ogre? No... but who else steals kids away from home..._"I'm a travelling bard!" She said it and it _felt_ true. "But not the kids that steals kids. I mean the _kind_ that steal kids! That's just wrong. And sick. And nasty."

Epona sauntered into the store with a bouncy step. "Excuse me, my kindliest of kingly sirs! I'm here for a part of a piece of beef!" Epona grinned at him, and added. "Chop chop!" The butcher stared at her in mute astonishment. Moments later, Epona had a folded piece of paper filled with goodness. _HA! Bards are crazy! Everyone expects it!_ _And now to gather the rest of my ingredients!_

_Peppers, I neeeeeeeed peeeppeerrsss! _Epona hurtled amongst the fruits and vegetables. Her eyes raked back and forth hungrily. _Some many shapes and sizes! So much that could be done!_ Someone was watching her. Epona's head snapped to the side. A woman was starring at her, eyes wide. Caramel hair, blue eyes, and freckles aplenty! _She's really pretty!_ Epona walked up to her. "Oh! Your bright eyes! So blue, so true! Have you seen my peppers? So spicy they burn the tongue... I so need to feed... such bliss my sweet Miss.... Please... deliver Peppers to me, here and now!" The woman gaped at her. Epona smiled back. She tried for sweet, but her eyes held hungry heat. With jerky movements, Caramel pointed to a far stand. "Oh!" Epona danced a step ahead. "Thank you. Thank you so much. You're beautiful. You are. Don't you agree with me?" The woman bobbed her head once and turned around to walk away. She walked right into a pile of stacked potatoes. Epona laughed softly, stepped and spun until her back leaned against the mountain, and leaned until her shoulder touched an arm. Caramel's eyes were wide and her face so red Epona couldn't see her freckles anymore. "Tasty Caramel... you're eyes caught me... but it's the curve of your hips that froze me. And the swell of your chest... it makes me dream! I'm making something hot tonight, with a touch of cream... and if you'd like to taste more... Well, come to my door... and I promise you, you'll never forget what we'll cook tonight. I stay at the Weatherwax farm and I have a delicious girl waiting for me there... and we'd both love a little treat tonight." _Tara will like the dish I have planned tonight!_

With that said, Epona walked to the peppers. She didn't look back.

o-o-o-o-o

Epona returned from her trip almost dizzy._ I need a glass of water_... "TARA! TARA!" Her mistress ran outside, a hammer and a handful of nails in hers hands. "What!?" Epona leaped off Bran. "Are you happy to see me?" Tara frowned. "No. I knew you'd be back." Epona smiled. "And do you know why you knew?" Tara stared for a moment before coughing once. "Just get into the kitchen. It's been a long day." Epona felt a blush come over her. "You said that yesterday too... right before..." Now Tara seemed a bit perturbed. "Just... just... get in!" With a laugh, Epona hurried indoors. But not before pausing to give her cat a peck on the lips!


	7. Chapter 7 Repas du dragon

_A new chapter for someone!_

_Mais ais-je écris quelque choses que vaguement indécente cette fois-ci?!_

_Impossible! Je ne fais qu'écrire des scènes chaudes, sans fondement ou intelligence! _

_Quand même, j'espère que quelqu'un aime ce morceau! _

_=D_

_****************_

Epona was having a great time! The recipe was simple: any vegetable you could find, with tomatoes, onions, beans leading the charge, and maybe a bit of meat if you felt like it. Enough water to make it boil, some cooking cream to add body... then salt, pepper and spices!

"How's the bread Granny? We gotta have nice bread for this!" Epona voice was quick and her hands quicker as she prepared food. Weatherwax was unperturbed by Epona's excitement. "I know bread," she said simply, "you worry about you." In short order, Epona had a large pot stewing above and her hostess had bread in the oven. "Done! We're done!" Weatherwax smiled a bit. "No dessert this time Epona?" Epona smiled sheepishly. "Well... I'm planning on some caramel... but I know it's too sweet for you..."

The girl began setting four places at the table. The old bird gave Epona the puzzled look she was used to getting from everyone. "Well, I'll be knitting then." _That reminds me! I have to prepare the base! _Epona hurried away to find Tara.

The redhaired woman was outside, starring at the sky, unmoving, her back to the lights of the house. Epona paused, her words left to the side. Was this something else they could share? Silence was something Epona didn't like much... but to be silent with Tara? "Epona." The woman didn't look at her. _She recognized my footsteps._ Epona walked to her. "Tara." She wrapped her arms around her warrior's middle.

"Supper has to simmer. We'll eat in half an hour." Tara didn't respond. _Quiet time?_ Epona breathed out, and tried not to fidget. She snuggled closer into her mistress. Seconds seemed to stretch slowly... until Epona felt a hand rest on her arm. _Ah._ Time seemed to be much too quick suddenly.

"Tara... why do you love the sky?" She felt the woman inhale calmly. "Maybe... because it's somewhere I've never been." Epona couldn't think of what to say. "Epona... can... you actually see the sky back there?" Tara's back currently filled most of Epona's view. "Not really." A few moments more of silence passed. "Should... we trade places?" Epona smiled. "Maybe later."

Time passed.

Tara spoke at last. "So... how was your trip to town?" Epona suddenly remembered her dessert! "Well... it was interesting!" Tara turned around. She was frowning. "Interesting?" Epona smiled uneasily. "Well... I met some nice people..." Tara tensed suddenly. "What does that mean? Did something happen?" Epona shook her head. "No! Well... yes! I mean, I had to get ingredients for tonight, and I needed a disguise. I couldn't think of what to get for dessert... the dish is so spicy and filling! Nothing will work! Wine is a nice compliment... so... I mean... I wanted a nice bottle! And I met people. I was happy! And I made... people smile. I was a travelling Bard and you're my bodyguard! That's what I said!" _And I whispered sweetly into a girl's ear..._

Tara was quiet, but differently than before. "Epona! I told you... _no spectacles!_ Did you do something else?" Epona felt herself going numb. "I... invited... someone over for dinner... you'll like her! She's cute!" Tara wrenched away from Epona and glared. "_I'll like her?! She's cute? EPONA! NO SPECTACLES!"_ Epona's hands started drifting around and up as if she were underwater, her fingers waving in an unfelt flow. "Just wait until you see her Tara... she was really sweet. And you need this... I know you do..." Tara's mouth fell open. "What?" Epona's smiled worriedly. "I call you Kitty... but... you're hungry Tara. And... a good..." Epona almost said the word she had never even thought of saying to anyone. "And a good... slave... takes care of her Mistress. Because she loves her. And I know you need this. I call you Kitty, I call you my Knightress... but you have a fire inside you too... deep down. Like a Dragon. And I love it too! Your Dragon needs a new fire sometimes, that's all... and I want to help you! She's cute!"

Tara gaped at her as if she were mad. Epona covered her mouth with both hands. _This isn't that crazy? Is it? _Tara was shaking her head. "Dragon? New fire? What? NO! I don't need... _I'm not like that!"_ Tara turned on her heel and fled.

Epona stared. It was the last thing she had expected.

Epona was chasing her before she even knew she was moving. "Tara! Wait! Tara! I'm sorry!" Tara reached the tree line first was disappeared from view, if not from hearing. _Oh no! Oh no! _Epona followed her. The dense underbrush was slowing Epona down considerably. A tree branch caught her. A root snagged her foot. She screamed. She went down, face first. _Ow! _She got up.

She had lost Tara.

Epona didn't know what to do. She had lost Tara. Her hands were scrapped. She had a small cut on her elbow. She had lost Tara. Her guest would arrive in time for supper and find an empty house. Epona felt a wrenching sob escape her. And another. She shook. She buried her hands in her eyes, trying to stop the flow.

After a moment, Epona got up, eyes still streaming. _I can find her._ She moved through the brush. _Where would she go?_ Epona would have headed for water. Her Knightress would have headed away from the that... and the fire of the house. She would go to where she was highest, to where she soared. Epona went to Tara's training ground.

It was large clearing not far from the old house. Tara would begin and end her runs there. Epona slowed her steps when she neared it. Tara was there, sitting besides some rocks she enjoyed throwing around after her runs. She was watching the sky again, but this time her face was miserable and her knees folded to her chest. _Oh Tara... _Epona walked to her again. "I'm so sorry Tara." The redhaired woman squeezed her eyes shut. "Is that... what you think of me? A Dragon? Pillaging the countryside? Snatching... up..." She fell silent. Epona sat beside her.

She wanted to hold her right then... but it was her fault this had happened. All of it. _Pandora's box, all over again_. Epona could only think of her stories. _They always helped me_. "What... most people... call _Monsters_ depends only on the stories they already know. For some people, only the old stories are good, so how can something new be good? Something new has to be old to be good. That's dead-end thinking.... but you're new Tara. Your story is new." Epona hesitated, and placed a hand on Tara's knee. Tara didn't pull away, but she didn't look at Epona either.

"The old Dragons demanded tribute and princesses to eat. _Yikes!_ But maybe the new one lets the Princess go after? Maybe they spend a night of fire and flight together and see wonderful new things? After, the Princess goes back to her old life feeling on fire and happy. You don't have to be ashamed that you're a dragon, Tara. You don't even need to change what you do, really. You just have to be... nice about it. That's all."

Tara frowned at her. "Just... be nice?" Epona lifted and spread her arms, clapped her hands together, shrugged and grinned. "A-yup."

Tara starred at her. "While I pillage the countryside?" Epona scratched her nose. "Well... just... not every day, maybe?" Tara sighed. Her eyes found Epona's. "And you? What does a dragon do for you?"

Epona pulled at her ear and mulled it over. "She makes me brave. She gives meaning to me. She lets me dream that one day I'll be strong enough to pull the sky down and share it with everyone. How I always felt old before I met her, even if I'm young? That my Dragoness makes me _new_ too! How about all that? Also, thinking about you makes me really warm and fuzzy."

Tara collapsed unto her back and huffed a breath out. "Hera's tits! That's a tall order to fill." Epona grinned. "Well... it's already done!" Epona grinned slyly down at her Mistress. "Soooo... you up for some supper? Plus, maybe a spot of Princess ravishing on the side?"

Tara lifted her head. "How cute are we talking about here?" Epona peered upwards and away. "I called her Caramel. She blushes easy and walks funny if I talk to her. She's squishy." Tara lifted an eyebrow. "Do you even know her name?" Epona scratched her head and thought about it. "Well... umm... we should go ask her!" Tara started to laugh. "What the hell Epona? You're worse than Drea!"

She stood. "Well, why not?"

o-o-o-o-o

Epona sighed. Caramel hadn't shown herself tonight. _I guess we'll eat right now. It'll overcook otherwise..._

Supper was on the table when a soft knock was heard. Tara and Epona shared a grin, and old Weatherwax frowned. "Must be those damn neighbour's kids! Get me my broom and a book! The witch routine works good on those rubes." Epona surged upwards. "I'll get it!" Tara followed her, a step behind. Epona wrenched the door open with both hands. It was Caramel! She had a cloak pulled around herself and a deep cowl hiding her face. "OH! Miss Caramel!"

_Woah! Dog Star above! It worked!_

Suddenly, Epona had no idea what to do. The brown haired woman looked uncertain, her eyes going back and forth between Epona and Tara. Tara smiled confidently at Caramel. "Hey. I'm Tara and this is Epona. Would you like some supper? We've got a place set. Epona felt that some new conversation would be a treat."

The woman nodded carefully. "Yes. A treat. I'm... just here to check up on Madame Weatherwax." Epona nodded seriously. _Wow, she's nice!_ Their hostess had shuffled up to them. "Well now... well now indeed... too sweet for me? Yes indeed... You do check up on me, my dear Adalia, but... not so late usually. How's your new husband, our good mayor? I complain about those kids throwing rocks, but he never does a thing!"

Caramel frowned at the older woman. "He... decided to go out with some friends tonight. I decided not to wait until he stumbled home stinking and drunk." She suddenly seemed to decide something. "May I come in Granny?"

Weatherwax cackled. "Never does a thing, does he? Well, come in! Come in, please! And say hello to Rags and her Oaf. They stumbled in here half-dead and half-smart. I'll be going to bed early tonight..." With that, she shuffled away, still chortling under her breath.

Caramel's eyebrows rose as she stared at them. "We've... met. Epona is it? She made quite a stir in town; people are hoping she shows up again. Travelling clowns aren't a common sight." _Clown? Huh? _"Aww! I was Bard!" Caramel's lips quirked. "You're very carefree, it seems." Epona felt Tara's arm suddenly encircled her. "Let's get out of the doorway and have a seat. Epona, how about you open that wine bottle you got us?"

Tara kissed Epona softly and released her. Epona was almost too embarrassed to return her own kiss. Almost. Caramel's eyes widened. Epona felt herself reddening under their scrutiny and darted away.

Tara smile's was easy when she turned back to Caramel. "So, Adalia. It's only just... a bit of supper. Only for tonight, and if the food is bad... well... at least you'll enjoy some nice wine before you head home." Caramel nodded. "I... wouldn't want to impose. Epona seemed... very inviting. And... I miss having... a warm meal." Tara grinned. "Don't worry about it! I didn't even know we had a guest until an hour ago... Epona's cooked too much even for me tonight. So... I hope your appetite is good!"

Caramel breathed in. "I wasn't sure I was hungry... but I believe it's improving as we speak." Tara nodded and extended her hand. "May I have your cloak, Adalia?" The brown-haired woman head leaned to the side and she peered at Tara from the corner of her eyes. "I believe you may." She removed it and handed it to Tara, who examined it. "Soft and delicate, like it's owner. With some beautifully hidden filigree. It suits you well."

Caramel eyebrows shot up once more. "You're kind Tara. It's a modest vestment... but it does enjoy being looked at." Tara smiled softly. "I'm slowly learning to appreciate quality over quantity."

From inside, they heard a clatter and squawked "Watch out!" followed by the sound of Epona running around and shouting. "Napkins! Napkins!" Weatherwax's voice was shrill in answer. "Bottom cupboard! Bottom cupboard!"

Tara laughed. "Epona seems happy. Let's get in there before its cold."


	8. Chapter 8 Morning came once more

_This is the last time I held a hockey stick, now in super awesome fantasy form!_

_With happy ending, of course! _

* * *

Morning came once more, and Epona opened her eyes. She felt... clear. As if she had done something unneeded but good and had received a gift last night.

Something nice.

At the moment, her limbs were hopelessly tangled in a blanket and even more delightfully tangled with something much warmer and softer. Someone. Two someones! Epona didn't move, and tried to feel as much as she could.

Tara had her arms wrapped around her and Caramel. Even in her sleep, Tara's hands were still closed around Epona. Without her mind guiding them forcefully they only carried a simple, tender message, something Tara seemed unable to do during the day. A confused message of love that was masked when she was awake, but was all too apparent now. _If only she could be like this with me all the time._

_Oh Tara, if only you could remember the dreams you have when you wake. If only I could!_

Their guest was between them. _Adalia. _Caramel.

Caramel had curled into a ball next to Epona, her arms and legs tightly curled to her chest. It would almost be a cocoon were it not for her head arching back to lean partly on Tara's arm and partly the pillow. Tara's head shared the pillow, and was buried in the pale brown hair that earned Caramel her name. Epona's left leg was caught between Caramel's two, with Tara reaching across to hold it as well. Her right arm and leg swept backwards and away. Epona had been caught in mid-jump, it seemed. _This is a wonderful mousetrap. _

Tara's other arm swept over and rested against Epona's neck, her hand softly curled. Epona's left hand swept up between Caramel curled hands to until the tips lightly touched Tara's arm. Last night... had been memorable. Epona allowed herself a smile. Complete loss of control, of discipline, while skill and talent remained. _Yes, that's what it was. I certainly wasn't a whirling tornado of soft sighs and crazy desires. By behaving inappropriately, I behaved appropriately given the context!_

The highlight had been teasingly enticing Adalia into a kissing contest, and agreeing that Tara was the worst of them, by far. The debate about asking Granny Weatherwax to give Tara some tips acquired during her long life until she was brought up to speed had been the cherry on the cake. For a brief moment, Tara had seemed completely off guard and helpless. It had been sweet. And as usual, when faced with defeat, Tara responded by going berserk! She had turned the oven to its highest setting.

Eating that cake had been sublime... especially the cherry.

Epona vibrated with silent laughter. She closed her eyes and drifted...

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

_Uh-oh._ Epona sighed.

Epona had a problem. She had had more than a few glasses of wine yesterday and now she was trapped_._ If she got up Caramel would probably wake, and Tara definitely would. _That old master was right:_ _Life is no way to treat a fish!_ As gently as she could, she untangled herself and stood on her toes. Sure enough, Tara's eyes opened. Unlike most mornings, her eyes didn't scan around for threats. Tara watched Epona quietly. Tara spoke softly: "Why did you do all this?" Epona shifted and swayed. "I wanted... to be nice to you." Tara was silent for a moment. "That's too simple. You're not like that Epona. You... read people, and think. Are you manipulating me?"

Epona froze... her mind began to race. Scenarios and plots spun, angles and threads and whirls of movement that made up her thoughts. There were dozens of possible reasons for what she had done. But she couldn't say them aloud. _The observer must be as unintrusive as possible in order to blend in with a population; it's the best way to get information. Wear the clothes, speak the way they speak, eat what they eat._

_The best way to survive._

_But what to do when the populations is so small they recognize you? What to do when you're face to face... with her? One on one? Simple: the simplest answer isn't true or false, but preferred. Complexity is added if required._

"I did it for you Tara", _because I want you to be happy, because that makes me happy._ Tara didn't respond. _If I stop to think, I can only think of why I'm no good for you. So I don't. You'll do what you want, and so will I, and somehow things will be better when you're done with me. _"You saw how much last night meant to Caramel. It can be so much more than just... rolling in the hay." Epona raised her hands in a _I don't know gesture_ and smiled. 

After Epona left the room, Tara kissed the tightly coiled Adalia on the top of her head.

o-o-o-o-o-o

"Alright, you can't wear armor, swing a sword, lift a mace, or do anything close to useful, but you can shove a pointy stick at someone!" Epona held the spear once more, with Tara facing her on the side of the clearing. "Tara... I'm not sure about this. At all!" Frustration flashed across Tara's face. "You want to be helpless your whole life?" Epona shook her head. "Then come _on!_" and with that, Tara surged forward, shield in hand and large branch in the other. _OH NOOOO–_ Epona pointed the spear and hit the shield –_OOOOO–_ Tara shoved it aside and swung the branch. _– OOOOOO – _Epona scurried away and low, waving the spear wildly. Tara paused her advance. "Don't swing it at the shield! Swing it at _me!_" and with those snarled words, she leaped once more. Epona swung it at her legs. Tara smashed her shield downwards, sending the point into the dirt. Epona dived sideways, the spear now a pivot fixed in the ground.

The haft hit Tara's lower leg just as she swung. Epona landed on her flat stomach, sprawling. _Ah. Aïe._ She rolled unto her back. Tara had fallen forward, and was already rolling forward to her feet. _Uh-oh. _Tara didn't look happy. She had a grass stain on her face. _Oh no! _"Tara! Are you ok?" Tara looked at her impassively. "Never drop your weapon. Going low against a higher opponent is good. Easier to trip them." Epona stood and walked to her. Tara resumed her fighting stance, but Epona ignored it. Up close, the grass stain wasn't so bad. No cut, but it might bruise. "Sit down. Let me get some water and a cloth." Tara frowned, and opened her mouth. Epona stamped a foot. "Sit!" Tara blinked. Epona didn't wait to see if she followed, and was already heading for the jug of water they had brought to the clearing. She returned to find Tara sitting on an old tree stump.

Epona wetted her sleeve, and dabbed gently at Tara's cheek until it was clean. Tara's eyes seemed large and liquid in the morning light. "You know Tara... I'd always avoided mornings. People running around, gulping breakfast, hurrying to the washstand, rushing out to a miserable day... but I like these mornings. The light is different." Tara smiled. "Seems like you need to get up even earlier then." Epona winced and stuck her tongue out: "Bleh."

Tara smiled widened, and she pulled Epona down into a hug. Epona settled down and sighed. Tara hands explored her slowly, to Epona's her shivering delight. At last, they slowed, and Epona could speak once more. She gazed at the discarded javelin. "That stupid spear. Why does anyone even like fighting anyway?" Tara frowned. "Is singing and dancing any better? Or any other art?" Epona blinked. _Of course it's better and... Mathematics and Writing are the greatest of the Arts, only they can bring the unreal to the world. I only feel at home when I have both._ But it came down to how it made you feel, she guessed, and it wasn't polite to say something was meaningless. Tara's brown eyes glittered. "Well... what should we train at next?" Epona had a thought for that. "Yes... Tara... you need to practice your war cry." Tara snorted a laugh. "What?"

"Your warcry! It has to freeze someone in their tracks! You barely make me blink when you shout now!" Tara frowned and her eyes glinted dangerously. "You want to? How?" Epona grinned: "Well, a good song will surely work you up good?" Tara laughed and turned her head away: "I don't sing." Epona feigned astonishment: "Who said anything about singing!? We're practising your warcry! Now we need something nice... how about a love song?" Tara huffed a chortle. She stared away for a moment or so. "I'll give you a song... it's called Tá Mé 'mo Shuí."

The words sounded so strange, but so familiar...

_Tá mé mo shuí ó d'éirigh'n ghealach aréir__  
Ag cur teine síos gan scíth is á fadó go gear  
Tá bunadh a tí 'na luí is tá mise liom féin  
Tá na coiligh ag glaoch 'san saol 'na gcodladh ach mé._

_'Sheacht mh'anam déag do bhéal do mhalaí is do ghrua__  
Do shúil ghorm ghlé-gheal fár thréig mé aiteas is suairc  
Le cumha do dhiaidh ní léir dom an bealach a shiúil  
Is a charaid mo chléibh tá na sléibhte gabhail idir mé 's tú._

_Deireann lucht léinn gur claoite an galar an grá__  
Char admhaigh mé é no go raibh sé 'ndiaidh mo chroí istigh a chrá  
Ó aicid ró-ghéar, faraor nár sheachain mé í  
Chuir sí arraing is céad go géar trí cheart-lár mo chroí._

_Casadh bean-tsí dom thíos ag Lios Bhéal an Átha__  
Is d'fhiafraigh mé díthe an scaoilfeadh glas ar bith grá  
Is é dúirt sí os íseal i mbriathra soineannta sáimh  
"Nuair a théann sé fán chroí cha scaoiltear as é go bráth."_

I am up since the moon arose last night  
Putting down a fire again and again and keeping it lit  
The family is in bed and here am I by myself  
The cocks are crowing and the country is asleep but me.

I love your mouth, your eyebrows and your cheeks  
Your bright blue eyes for whose sake I gave up contentment  
In longing for you I cannot see to walk the road  
Friend of my bosom, the mountains lie between me and you.

Learned men say that love is a fatal sickness  
I never admitted it until now that my heart is broken  
It's a very painful illness, alas, I have not avoided it  
And it sends a hundred arrows through the core of my heart.

I met a fairy woman in the hollow of _Béal an Átha_  
I asked her would any key unlock the love in my heart  
And she said in soft, simple language  
"When love enters the heart it will never be driven from it."

Tara fell silent.

Epona swallowed and blinked rapidly. Tara gave her a half-smile. "Sad huh? Careful what you wish for!" Epona nodded. Tara squeezed Epona a bit. "Well, I only know one way to cheer you up. How about you make us something to eat?" Epona hugged Tara more tightly. "Hey now! It was just a song. Don't you feel bad about it. Hearts never stay cold for long." Epona relaxed a bit. "You know Tara. I learned about a crazy new way to cook potatoes. You fry them twice! They puff up! I can't wait to try it! And I'll make a spicy cream sauce! You'll love it!." Tara grinned: "That sounds more like it! I'll go for another run, try and get Adalia to stick around. Maybe we can have a second helping tonight!"

Epona leaned in to kiss Tara's forehead. "Ok! Come back quick" Tara gave her a half-smile. "Take the spear with you. I got my shield and this stick. I'll see if I can bonk us a bear or two." Epona gasped. "No Tara! That's too dangerous!" Tara frowned thoughtfully. "You're right. I should only try and bonk the babies. They're smaller." Epona wrung her hands! "Nooo!" Tara chuckled. "Go on squirt! Get back to that kitchen you seem to love." Epona grinned. "I feel like you're with me when I cook. I love it when you taste something you like." Epona bit her lip before adding: "I want you to like what I can cook. So I'll practice." She spun and set a bouncing pace back to their abode.

Tara followed her until she was out of sight before sighing and shaking her head in disbelief.

Epona walked away, thinking of mountains and fairies, potatoes and chickens... and she also wondered why Tara might like fighting so much.

o-o-o-o-o-o

"Stay! Come oooonnn! Just one more day!" Caramel sighed. "I really..." Epona gave her a comically sad face. "Plllleeeeaaasssse! I need help with the potatoes! You can't just tell me about them and go." The brown haired woman smiled. "Alright! Alright. Put the spear down. You'll poke the ceiling." _Spear? Oh! _She was still holding it. Epona put it in the umbrella stand and followed Caramel into the kictchen.

Epona clapped her hands. _Yeah! Let's get busy! _Her eyes drifted to the brown haired woman. _With cooking! _Epona didn't know many complicated recipes: she enjoyed freshness and spices, but Adalia seemed to know a hundred different ways to change a potato into a wonder. Epona busied doing the dishes of the previous night. It had been a debauchery of wondrous calamity!

The old Weatherwax was busy knitting something, as usual. The occasional curse was heard as she missed a loop. Her temperament was still quite dark, even with the house in good repair. _She is what she is.... Tara is what she is. Everyone is what they are. Nothing can change, nothing ever changes. _

Epona was thinking dangerous thoughts suddenly. _But I can't give up. If the sage Feynman didn't, why should I? People have forgotten how strong sorcery can be, how it can change everything. They use the shallow streams of it, but ignore the deeper, colder current... the ones that never change... until they do! ...or don't. But we live in hope, and stare into the depths anyway, because everything changes._

Adalia peered at the water basin. "I'll go and get some clean water to wash the potatoes. Maybe some milk for the sauce." The old woman peered up. "I haven't been out today. Need to see the sun. Need to bring an old, useless chicken in for supper." At that, the old woman grinned evilly and traced a thumb across her own throat. Epona shivered. _She is what she is._

o-o-o-o-o-o

Epona was going outside to empty the dishwater when she heard terrified braying coming from a cow. And an angry voice. Raw and harsh.

The last time she had heard a sounds like that she had been on a battlefield.

Without thinking or hesitation, Epona dropped the basin and ran into the house to snatch up Tara's spear. She ran back out and towards the voice. It came from near the barn and its chicken coop. Epona dashed around the corner. Caramel was facing a man on a horse, her face a mask of stunned fear. Granny was starring in disbelief at her cow and the man.

He was slashing madly at a cow. Adalia was closest to the house, and Granny on the other side of the man. With a horrible groan, the poor beast collapsed. Both Weatherwax and Adalia were stunned and immobile. "GET IN THE HOUSE!" Her voice was clear and loud, even as Epona was already charging forward. She wasn't afraid, even if she was. She didn't feel small, even if she was. She didn't feel underarmed, even if she was. She felt like steel, even if she wasn't. Her hands were painfully clamped around the spear. She was thoughtful, even if chaos was around her!

Epona had never seen this man before, but Adalia seemed to know him. _You always know who your death is_. _Five steps. _Adalia rushed away, behind Epona, towards the house. _Four steps_. Epona lost Adalia from sight, but the man's head turned towards her. _Three steps_. The man turned towards Epona and gaped. _Two steps._ His eyes were wide, and his face a splotchy red and white. _One step. _He raised his sword to protect himself. He could only do a downward slash now. _Mistake!_ Epona slashed at the horse, an arching swing that carried a long and painful cut across the side of the poor animal. He was not a warhorse, and the cow's end had already badly spooked him.

With a terrified whinny, the stallion bucked and danced away from Epona. And towards Weatherwax. Fear bloomed in Epona._ Bad position, might lose a piece_. The man cried out, dropping his sword to clutch at the reins. _Second mistake._ Epona darted down to snatch the sword up. She crouched low and watched, the spear pointed at him. The man stared at her, eyes wide and wild. The horse was still bucking. _I could end it now._ _Tara would. _

_My father would. I'd seen him do more over less._

Epona said nothing, but her eyes glittered as she looked at him for a moment. _He knows it too._

She peered back. Even Weatherwax had gotten to safety now. _I'm done here. _Without a word, Epona spun and darted away.

It was over in less than ten breaths.

o-o-o-o-o-o

Adalia clutched at Epona and sobbed. The woman was a good two hands taller than her, but she had folded herself around Epona. Weatherwax had simply collapsed into a chair and stared at her knitting. Epona held unto the woman. Every detail leaped towards her with crystal clarity. Her mind still raced._ I can't turn it off_. "Granny. Did you get that chicken you wanted?" The old woman peered up and blinked. "Still... in the barn." Epona nodded. "We'll get the potatoes ready then. We'll get the chicken when Tara comes back. Adalia, would you hand me a potato?" It was an illusion of normality... but they only need to believe for an instant and it was true.

Adalia's sobs quieted. "Yes." She turned to the kitchen. She spoke once more, to no one in particular. "That was my husband. Alexandre. He was... drunk." _Not **that** drunk..._ but Epona said nothing. The pieces moved as they would, once again, and Epona loved them with all her heart and monstrous mind. They needed lies and freedom to move on their own. To be happy.

To take one was to take the other. _I wish... I didn't have this cold place in my mind.... but then I couldn't have done what I just did. _

_Someone had to do it.... and that's my lie!_

Epona couldn't let go of the spear. She might never be able to pick it up again if she dropped it. She had almost done what her father would have done. _I could be so dangerous if I learned how to use this. I wouldn't try to be a hero. I would just do the job. For the noblest of reasons, but I'd still be a butcher. Like my father dreamed of being, even as he failed at simpler things._

_If I learned to fight... what if... I get sick like him? I might hurt people because I believed the wrong thing about them. If I'm too strong, they won't be able to stop me._

Adalia returned with one potato in held in both her hands. She weaved almost as if she were drunk... or in love. _Or afraid out of her mind._ Epona forgot her fear for a moment. "You picked a good potato." The blue eyed woman nodded. "Did... you tell him about Tara?" Adalia shivered. "No. I just told him I was staying here for a moment." She handed the potato to Epona. _I can't peel it... and hold on to this. This weapon. This anger. I can't do both! _The spear felt painfully heavy suddenly. The exhilaration of this morning's practice was gone... perhaps forever.

Someone tried to open the door and found it locked. Epona breathed in. The door rattled once more. "Hey! The damn door is locked! _Hey! Anyone home!? Epona?_"

It was Tara!

Epona's feet were already moving. She pulled at the door lock, and opened it. Tara looked at her face for a moment and snapped: "What happened?" Epona's words were cool and terse. "Adalia's husband rode here drunk and looking for a fight. I took his sword and chased him off."

Something inside Epona was screaming, in fear or anger, she couldn't tell. It wasn't connected to anything anymore. "Tara help me. Please." Epona's voice was dull and flat. The music of it was gone.

Tara was silent for a moment. "You chased an armed horserider away? You took his sword? _You?" _Epona watched dully. Tara burst into a laugh, and hugged her. "Epona! That's great!" She kept on laughing, a pure peel of delight that filled the house! "I wish I could've of seen it! Did he soil himself? Oh, I just bet he did! Hah! We'll ask him when he shows up again! Heheheh!"

Epona started to return the hug. Her eyes stung a little. Her mouth smiled a little. _This... even if Tara didn't love me, she could still show me how to laugh right now._

"Tara, I can't imagine myself with anyone else right now. Even if I'm no good to you. I just love you, and I can't stop." Tara peered at Epona, her brown eyes twinkling. "Huh? Why the long face? And whaddaya mean _no good_? Get back in that kitchen girl! I'm starving! Gimme that spear. S'mine. I got it fair and square. I only loaned you it."

Epona relaxed her grip. Her hand felt painful, but free. Tara's smile was so bright and happy... Epona didn't dare darken it with a kiss. _Love never leaves a heart. _Epona stood on her toes anyway, hopeful she could have more from this strange person she loved. Tara gave her a brief kiss, but her mind was elsewhere.

Epona's hand was free... but painfully empty. _No potatoes or spear tonight? What have I done? _ Epona felt a surge of emotion, unpleasant and dark. Tara felt her tense and soothingly patted her.

"Easy now, Pony... Adalia needs to be safe. We have to kill this guy. Then we'll head out of town." Behind her, Adalia gasped in horror, her blue eyes wide. Tara eyes latched onto brownish-blonde haired woman. "Unless you want end up like that cow out there."

From her chair, the old Weatherwax spoke: "Not easy. Little time. He's the Mayor. He'll be back with the Sheriff and townsguards. The bleeding horse and missing wife is all the proof he needs." Everyone was silent. Tara was silent before speaking, her eyes seeing an old memory. Epona wondered what it could be. Her voice had a dark, harsh edge: "If you can't join 'em... _break 'em_... and pick the pieces you like. How loyal are the guards?"

Adalia spoke, her voice shaking. "Completely loyal... to the sheriff, Gregor. Who follows the Law... they... they say he was exiled here for refusing bribes and inconveniencing the merchants and their smuggling... and I daresay I believe it. He's chased away or caught every bandit in the forest."

Tara nodded. "So... I need a way to show him the Mayor is dirt. They we can kill him... legally." Tara's smile was wolfish. Adalia shook her head and covered her eyes with her palms. "No...no... the drink... would make him so sick he couldn't walk sometimes. But just the same, I can't see him die!" Tara was about to speak, when Epona placed a light hand on her shoulder and faced the fear-stricken woman. "Adalia, justice has to be done, or there can be no peace. Apollo himself gave us juries and Trials to prevent the eternal spiral of vengeance and retribution. Bring him before the law and divorce him."

Tara smile hadn't wavered as she raised a hand to cover Epona's. "And that's why we need dirt. Who's his drinking buddy? Who make sure he wins his races? Who does he go off to speak alone too?" Adalia lowered her hands. "Avon, the town schoolteacher. He's always dragging Alexandre to some cesspool... undignified for a Mayor, even for a small town."

Epona frowned. "Is he thin? Quick smile and mean eyes?" Adalia blinked. "Yes. You saw him in town?" Epona nodded sheepishly. "He asked me for a drink, the second he saw me." Tara's eyes glittered. "Did he now? Well... maybe you should take him up on his offer." Epona gasped. _"_Tara?"

Tara was smile was all teeth. "Why isn't this Avon the mayor? Someone as drunk and crazy as this Alexandre guy couldn't do it alone. We need the man pulling the strings, and he sounds like it."

Epona shivered... but whether from fear or exhilaration she didn't know.Her hands tightened around Tara.

_I can be useful to her_ _and Caramel._


	9. Chapter 9 Interesting disguise

It was a small town of around three hundred. Epona had been there before, but now she was in one of its alley, the sky growing dark. She noticed now that there were signs of neglect, thrash had piled up in less used causeways or broken cobblestones. Individual houses were clean... but each street had a sign of disrepair usually on some bit of public propriety. Epona's Romulus upbringing was not happy to see such _laxisme_ of civic duty. Being well situated, it had frequent visits from both local farmers and visiting peddlers. On occasion, a merchant caravan would stop as well. This meant and abundance of travellers seeking soft beds, hot meals, and cold drinks.

It also made finding this "Avon" character difficult. Epona sighed. _This will be hard._ But neither she nor Tara could simply leave without assuring Adalia's safety. Divorce was impossible in the best of circumstance, even for men, and for Adalia to leave her husband Alexandre without grave proof was unacceptable. People she had known all her life would shun her.

They had stayed near the house, and sure enough, a small group of guardsmen rode into town, Alexandre nowhere in sight. Sure enough, they had searched the house of old Wheaterwax for Epona, but left Adalia alone. _Tell them: it's_ _just a simple marriage spat, tell them you're staying here until your husband comes to his senses_. Interestingly, they had left quickly with no fuss. Epona and Tara watched them leave. _Check up on everyone, keep them separate, compare their stories, keep the peace, advance it to the magistrate if needed_. The man leading the column must be the sheriff, Gregor. He was large and a bit overweight, but seemed more alert than the bored guardsmen. _He knows his job. _Epona stared thoughtfully. _Tell them: a young boy heard the ruckus, and threw a rock at Alexandre's horse, and he ran off when Alexandre went berserk. _Tara had eyed them with a professional eye. "_Used armour, good rider, no fussing around:_ _he knows his job. My little criminal... you've got your first enforcer after you!" _Her smiled had been... electric.

Epona passed a hand though her short hair with rueful amusement. _I'm faster and feel more wind with short hair... but... would Tara like it longer? She liked playing with Adalia's locks... _Epona shook herself. Jealousy was a new feeling for her. _Beauty cannot be measured, and then doled out. Falsehood is ugly, and truth the only beauty that matters_. _I'm being silly. I'm good enough now... but I can be better can't I? I want to be better. _

Which made her disguise... interesting for more than a few reasons. The old Weatherwax had more than a few dresses about, and some had fitted Epona. Horseback riding was unpleasant in them, she had to sit with both legs over one of Bran's sides, but the fluffiness of it was very nice. Tara had watched her dress and undress with an amused grin. Tara had chosen something that left Epona's shoulders bare. It was beautifully white and brown. _Just a wrapper... but maybe I do like clothes and colors... maybe I do like it when eyes follow me... when they stare at my legs... and seeing them avert their eyes when I stop pretending I can't see them... and even more when they keep staring..._

In her days at the academy, one of alchemy partner would arrive late every day after spending hours combing and straightening his curly hair. _My sister had the same disease.._. Epona had wanted to strangle him by the end of the year... or let the idiot maim himself when he decided to _smell_ an acid. _And now look at me.... damn you Tara!_ "Do you like my new dress?" Tara inclined her head to her side and considered her lazily. "I'll like taking it off of you later." Epona felt her cheeks flushing. _So will I!_

"Tara... are you sure this will be the place?" Tara nodded. "Dirt drops to dirt and fire rises to fire..." _Old Archimedes? Tara HAS been educated... _Epona stored the thought away as Tara continued: "...and this place has noise to hide in, shadows to hide and lights to see... and young... vulnerable when they go for a drink. A good hunting ground. He'll be here." Epona stared at the music hall. She saw a cherry place with warm lights and good music. _Oh Tara... _"Tara... I might have misjudged him..." Tara stared at her for a moment. "You... don't do that." Her voice had a strange tone.

"Go on in, find him and invite him outside for fresh air.... and into my homely little dark alley." Tara's smile said the rest. Epona swallowed. _Go in... without her? _"Tara... I don't think..." Tara's smile vanished. "You scared?" Epona didn't deny it. "Epona... I can't drag him outside without a scene. This is your fight. Go do it."

Epona shuddered. "I can't do this alone... I can't! Tara... make me... brave. Make me... like you! Please!" Tara's eyes filled with emotion, even as her face stayed impassive. "Epona, come here..." _Will she hit me? _Epona took a tentative step forward and then another... _she won't hit me... _Tara arms raised and wrapped around Epona. _Ah oui. _Epona felt a sob clinging somewhere within herself. After a moment, Epona felt Tara's strong hands slowly trail up and down her back. Abruptly, Tara's hands descended and clenched around her rump, pulling her inward while her mouth closed on her neck in a long, slurping, hungry, _kiss!_ Epona forgot everything that was wrong.

Epona shivered... and not from the cold...

Tara, with a practiced ease, unbuttoned the back of her dress and parted the soft cloth. Epona felt cool air lick her front. She didn't fold an arm to cover herself. Without the shielding cloth, Tara's hands could touch Epona with calamitous effect... _Oh oui... _Tara's callused fingers scratched as they glided across Epona, waking sparks, and her palms found suppleness, eagerness... and growing heat... "You're burning Pony... tell me... tell me you feel it too... because I can. Your body tells me everything..." Her voice trailed into a growl as she closed her teeth on Epona's shoulder. In answer, Epona arched her back; exposing her neck to a ravaging maelstrom as Tara slowly kissed her way up... and higher... Tara paused.... "I can feel the tears in your eyes.... but you can't put it out, can you? You're burning Pony..." Her hands closed once more around Epona's rump...

Epona shuddered... and not from fear...

Tara found Epona's mouth... pressing in as far as she could her tongue, challenging Epona. "You aren't safe in there... so much fire in you... come out... come out and play with me..." Epona kissed her, as deeply as she could... her hands slipped under her shirt, until they could find two soft mounds and their royal rosy crowns... Tara suddenly closed her lips around her tongue, catching her, trapping her, and she _drew_ upon it... Tara released her, and Epona's head rolled back, her eyes half-closed. "_Ah... Oh... Non... oh non...." ...oh oui! _Tara's voice was a ragged gasp, a breath of heat, of boiling water cascades trailing from her lips to Epona's._ "Oh! _I can... feel that... tell me... tell me what you see..." _A grid of circles on a landscape of ice or granite._

Epona convulsed and cried... and there was no explanation...

Of their own accord, Epona's legs had climbed Tara's side until they could close around her waist. Only her dress still touched the ground. Tara pulled away, holding the smaller women up, "Close... so close... mmm... oh yeah... I can feel your toes curling... I _like_ that... you're almost there Epona... now stop! Come back... be a good girl... be a nice girl now... relax... come on now..." Epona's chest rose and fell much like a sparrow's would. Tara's eyes were very dark as she watched her slave labouring. "Good lungs. You just need some wings to go with them..." The remark was delivered idly, even as Tara seemed flushed and fever hot to Epona. Epona stared at her in incomprehension. Hesitantly, her feet returned to the hard ground. Tara's hand went to her chest, stroking her sensitive buds soothingly, diffusing the storm that had been gathering. But not ending it.

Epona did the same to her, until they both could breathe slowly once more. _She's so soft_. _So soft! _But Tara shouldn't be. She had to be hard. _Damn Amazons!_ Her armour needed to be invincible. _I'll steal her something, to keep her safe. I'll steal chains, and knit her an armor._

Tara released her, and Epona felt coherence return to her. Tara grinned a triumphant smile. "Now... we both feel the same. You're just like me." Epona felt some anger tinge her thoughts. "You... you... bitch..." Tara's grin turned into a simple, smug, smile. "That's mistress Bitch, my sweet little rodent. Anyway, you seem... _slightly_... braver now. How about you go be a hero, walk into that dragon den to fetch our sneaky snake. After, I promise you, Adalia and me will give you a nice foot rub after... together." Tara's smile was mischievous. Epona lowered her eyes. "You're the only one I want touching my feet."

Tara smile faltered. When she spoke next, her voice was hoarse. "We'll find a big bathtub... and... I'll wash your feet... until... until you tell me to stop."

Epona actually felt a pulse of desire in her feet... in her _feet!_ She stared at them in disbelief.

_Impossible! My feet.._._ now... they want to play._ _Will every bit of me start to want her? _She slipped a foot out of her shoe to rub it up and down Tara's lower leg.

"Tara... you know I'll never tell you to stop. Never. We'll do this... and win!"

Tara smiled was wide. "You know... it just might happen one of these days."


	10. Chapter 10 Waiting

_*******_

_I once heard that Rome fell because a warm summer let mosquitoes carrying malaria journey up the coast, creating disease, which let the barbarians mass up and attack... But I'd rather have it be something more dangerous! Aphrodin can from Codex Alera, but I think I'll make it more dangerous._

_Tell me what you think of Acantha? She's nebulous... but Lady Acantha is too cool a name to throw away!_

_Or is Adalia a better char to have pop up later?_

_This is more fictional than fact... well... except the mannerisms. I've mashed two creepy people together I knew to get Avon. _

_But they always get their comeupeths!_

_^_^_

*******

Tara stood in the dark, waiting for Epona. She felt tightness in her stomach. _She'll be ok. I doubt this guy is in there... and she needs to this. She's got to practice and go where she's never been. She'll sip at her drink, eye the crowd, and we'll try some other place. She'll feel confident once this is done, and she can't get hurt in there._ Or so Tara devoutly hoped. But she was growing to too recognizable, and the _Terror of Gaelis_ would bring hunters around. Heading to Roma and then Britannia was the only sensible thing to do. _And then... home. At last! _Somehow, the idea of facing that place with Epona at her side made such things easier to consider. _I'm not scared of that old dump now. Hells, Epona will be at 'em with a broom and soap before I even can open my mouth to tell those dirt loving clog wearers how they owe me an apology_!

In the meantime, she could take the time to plot away some plans. Or think of what she would do to that sneaky mouse later. Tara smiled in the dark and snuggled into her cloak. _I have to get creative if I want to satisfy my little love addled wench... and I spared Epona's legs too often these past nights!_ Tara chuckled. _The nice part about a girl like her is how little I have to do to make her squirm. Even my softest breath makes her quiver and sing. _Tara smiled became one of contentment.

_Damn that was a good kiss... and from the look in her eyes not the last! With a little practice she'll make my knees wobble. Hah! I've created a monster! So... what else could I do for her and me? What does every knight need? A good steed? Well... she does like rolling in the hay. Heh! Hmm, she must be sensitive about horse jokes after all these years. Pony's more of a songbird anyway, the kind a swanky noble keeps locked up. _Tara tapped her fingers thoughtfully and grinned a slow smile. _But having a hunting hawk is more my style!_

"Squirt, if you win your fight... maybe I'll make you my _squire!"_

o—o—o—o—o—o

_Open the door, let the wind in..._

Epona entered the concert hall with forced casualness. She blinked. The music had grown loud when the door opened, and louder still when it rolled over her as she entered. She saw dozens of people, and the smell was that of excited, happy people and tobacco. Her eyes adjusted. It was almost a small theatre, two stories, the first one having a stage to the back and the second one a large opening from which to see the musicians from above. The stage was bright...

Epona's eyes drifted along, taking in the people. Facing one person alone could be intense, but to see so much _emotion_ and _movement_ sent a dizzying shiver around her. Crowds weren't a problem, but the currents were unusually strong in here. And she had something to do, a snake called Yvon to find.

And a precious someone waiting for her to come back.

Epona went to the bar to find a place to sit. No one sitting there alone appeared conspicuous and staring out into the crowd could be seen as staring at the stage. _Which is the point of it, really..._ A particularly pretty girl was sitting nearby, her creamy skin and white toga dress giving her Romusian origins. She appeared quite demure, watching the musicians while sitting with her shapely legs crossed and a small glass held in both hands. She had one foot thrust outwards, the pointed slipper aggressively level with the ground. _Her "sword" defiantly pointed at the crowd. Ready to leap into action. She isn't a local either._ On impulse, Epona sat beside her. The bartender turned to her with a cheerful smile. "What're you having my lady?" Epona smiled back. "Nothing yet! Waiting for a friend. His name would be Avon. You seen him?" The man shrugged. "His sits upstairs mostly. Might be up there"

Epona thanked him and left. She climbed the stairs calmly, one at step at a time, while her heart skipped a beat or two. _What to say? He saw me when I was... a bit happier than usual. So simpering idiot it is!_ She reached the second story. Sure enough, the skinny Avon was there, watching the musicians. Epona inhaled sharply. _Just do it_. "Good spot! Mind if I sit here?" His head darted to the side, and he paused, considering Epona. "I don't not mind... Oi! The girl from the street! Where's my drink?" The words came quick, and his hard eyes seemed to have a vibration to them even as they stared at her, a bit _too_ fixedly. Just a quickly, he dropped his gaze back to the show. Epona felt an uneasy feeling, which she quickly quashed. _Warm, I have to think warm... Lies and lies from my warm eyes... _"I'll buy you one if you buy me one." The man's lips parted. "_Hah!_" he snarked out. "Be right back!" And he was away with quick steps. Epona settled down and gazed at the show down below. No singer yet, it was simply ambience, the musicians letting a few mistakes slip in while they subtly cheered the crowd.

Avon returned with two glasses. He was grinning sharply. "One! Two!" He placed them on the table. Epona dropped two copper _as_ on the table, but the man simply barked another laugh. "Keep those! You'll buy tomorrow night!" _Not after Tara asks you a question or two._ Epona smiled and the coins stayed there."I pay my debts." Epona took the cup up and sipped without fear. _Everyone blames someone dropping aphrodin in their cup after they wake up the next morning. It's always an excuse._ Epona murmured her thanks. _Almost always._ The man settled down next to her, smiling his sharp smile. "Quite a show later! We have the Lady Acantha here! The place will fill, and who knows who will show up! I mean, you did! _Hah!_" _We? He owns this place? Him... and Alexandre?_

Epona smiled and nodded happily. _Never heard of her. _Epona placed her hand on the table and gazed down at the stage. _Acantha. _"So... what's your name? What do you do?" And they started chatting. Epona trying to put him at ease without appearing eager. _No big words, and lots of giggles and looks_. Men simply wouldn't approach someone they thought smarter or stronger than them. Add beautiful to the list, and some ladies would simply be too much of a challenge. Or they attracted idiots who never knew they were outclassed. Hence, the art of polite deflection and saying no quickly. _Well, at least being pretty and smart lets you enjoy the irony of thinking dumb and ugly people are lucky. _Epona feigned a laugh when he made a particularly grotesque joke. _He is a seller and I am a buyer, so the gods made men and women._

Epona sighed. _I'm being too cynical... I wish this idiot was Tara. She confident and calm, bubbly fun when she lets herself be, probably smarter than me... and strong! But most of all... warm..._ _The last few months have been harsh... we needed this time to rest, and she trained almost every day. She's put weight on, but she's still lean... and then Adalia... that was good for everyone. We'll have spaghetti worthy of Caesar! _

Avon noticed her sigh and distracted look. "Bored eh? Don't worry; Acantha will be up there soon. We're lucky to get her! We let her troupe lodge here, and we're already filling the room." _A good spaghetti is easy to make, but too many view it as "peasant fare", cheaply made and cheaply done. But it can be more._

_To begin, a drop of oil in boiling water to keep it from sticking, a nice sauce, some olives, bread and wine on the side. Maybe figs for dessert. _Epona had placed her hand halfway between them and had edged it closer to him than to her. He placed his hand on hers, at last. _About time idiot! The sauce will govern the quality. It is the blood of Roma and her people. It must be warm and tingle the tongue with life. Nice tomatoes might not even need to be cooked, just squished! But it's getting harder to find nice ones... and Tara loves meat. So cooked sauce it is!_

His hand was cold. _Cold!_ Disgust flared in Epona. _I've always been confused about what I want. But I do __**know**__ what I don't want._ _Tara's hands might be callused from use, but they're warm with her strength and passion! Not so... this... this... hungry snake!_

Epona smiled and lowered her eyes modestly to conceal her animosity. "I hope I'll hear her. She must be wonderful." Far below, a small stir went up, and Epona felt a rush of air. They had opened the windows to clear the air of smoke. The Romusian woman she had sat beside stepped onto the stage. _Huh! She must be good if they change the air for her. _She was tall, and stood like a curvy white pillar. She seemed at ease and smiled at the crowd. In fact, her beauty was almost blinding. Epona leaned forward. _Now what? _

Epona leaned back, utterly shocked when the first stanza rang out. _That's mine. My song. Mine! But she changed it! Changed it to please herself!_ Epona listened, mumbling her original song under her breath:

_Oh people gathered here  
I bid you listen well  
To a tale of tears  
And a fate most fell_

_Your fears, throw far  
Let me weave this  
This warm spell: Epona and Tara_  
_The princess and her northern barbarian_

_On frozen waters, did Tara tread  
While fighting foes bitter and bold  
Heedless to the whisper of dread  
Yet her fate always hung by a thread_

_Epona, handmaiden to death itself, was untethered  
Winter she knew, but not the mortal tears with which her realm was forged  
And so, when summer's breath melted she was battered  
And from bitter dreams, she was blistered!_

_With fire and sword, Tara emerged  
And this clarion call she trilled:  
Lady! Desire deep, here, for you to drink...  
And lo! Epona was submerged!_

_With glad lips, she drank, not of ice, or water, no  
It was nothing else: but heat! but heart!  
The sweetest of draughts! Oh!  
And with sweet delirium, she was blissed!_

_Death's maiden knew joy, a bloom of sweet summer sun  
When suddenly she cried: "But of what of my Kingdom to Come?  
Its gardens, cruelly made, true! have begun to fade  
Oh Tara, give your spear, from which I will make a spade!"_

_In each other their hearts had found a warmth to be teached  
But Tara's spear was more than a piece: it was her echo, a soul's whisper unleashed  
And to break it would bind her to her dreary oxcart  
To live a slow start, and long haul: an agony of which she wanted no part!_

_Insensate with anger, the barbarian proudly announced:  
"Maiden, __**YOU**__, I will gladly plough,  
But your kingdom of ice I will not allow.  
Now! Attend to me, cow!"_

_Through icy teeth, the maiden angrily pronounced:  
"Barbarian __**THEIF**__! My heart you shall not keep!  
Of bitter grief, you shall know no relief  
For my heart's disruption, you shall suffer corruption!"_

_And thus, Tara's steel strength waned into dust  
And thus, Epona's realm bloomed into vapour  
And so, two were nothing but dew and dust  
Their anger made each other empty, stale, Rust._

_Oh! Beware such bitter lust._

With a numb feeling, Epona heard the woman below sing the ballad of _Tar and Epona_ and not _Tara and Epona_. _That's not how it goes! But... it will sell better won't it? Will it? A tried, tested, tired and false story!? __**No!**__ Tara is a girl! A beautiful one! The story of a girl and her dragon, inseparable and miserable and happy together... _Red anger and confused memories flared alight, sending dark thoughts swirling...

She had sung it some time ago, in an inn when Tara and Drea shared a moment together. She had been... confused. And jealous. She hadn't even understood she was jealous, at the time. The thought of Drea touching Tara... had made her miserable. The thought of Tara being happy... had made her feel wonderful. And then Drea... had touched her as well... and she had wanted Drea to be happy as well. She hadn't wanted anyone to suffer, and her own misery was surely idiocy on her part. But bravery meant making difficult choices. Bernice had talked to Epona then, not exactly helping, but making her understand, allowing her to act as she should, _to choose_, in small ways at least.

Epona's hands tightened on the railing. The spread of her music was good..._ but to change it so? I made this for TARA! So EVERYONE who wondered would know I loved her! _She ground her teeth. _Tar and Epona_. _Who does she think she is? Changing my words? _Epona was marching downstairs before she knew it. She planted herself before the stage, glaring angrily, arms folded.

The fact that Acantha was singing it better than she ever could wasn't helping either.

After a few more songs, the woman took a small bow and descended for her intermission. Epona surged forward. "Hey! _Hey!_ That first song was..." The woman whirled to face her: "I've heard it all before! Listen Citizen, the barbarians won't stay at the gates until we decide to let them in! This song is a warning to everyone! Now either buy me a drink or leave me be_, thank you!_" The woman spun away, leaving Epona spluttered, her words whirling. _What! No! What? _She watched the woman plant herself before an open window and down two glasses the bartender gave her in two gulps_. She even drinks better than me.._. _My songs... can be more than only for me... _

Epona stared at the open window.

They had opened the windows to late fresh air in. Tara would hear the song. Tara had heard the song. Epona suddenly felt a wild anxiety rise. Avon had followed her, and was watching her with an amused smile. "I... have to get outside!" Epona shoved through the crowd, heading for the door. She barged outside, heading for the alley.

It was empty.

Epona stood in the alley, alone. "Tara?" she called, hoping for an answer. "Who's Tara?" Epona wrenched around to find Avon staring at her, his vibrating eyes wide. Epona eyed him wordlessly. "Listen, I'm not stupid. You want something", he shrugged and continued, "That's fine, I can pay with more than money."

Epona squared her shoulders proudly. "Tara's a friend. And I don't want money, or anything else you have; I want to know who else owns this place." Avon's eyes twitched and his smile disappeared. "A friend of mine. Now what does your friend want?" Epona wasn't afraid, but wasn't a fool either. Avon was no fighter, but he could easily return with a half-dozen men or more, and every serious drinking den kept an experienced bouncer. But he had the skin tight look of someone who consumed too much vile substances, and not just alcohol and it was starting to show now that he was under duress. _His mind might be damaged as well... he won't be handsome for much longer._

Tara rounded the corner then. She had her cloak turned inside out, and the hood pulled over, hiding her face. A few locks drifted free from their concealing place. A quick disguise. She looked quite scary then, and Avon seemed even more harmless than before. She ignored him completely and focused on Epona. "Are you... ok?" She was... a bit angry. More than a bit. Epona had expected that. She hadn't expected the uncertain tinge to her voice. _Embarrassment? Fear? I can't tell... I'm too scared to think._ "I'm well, my Lady. I'm sorry! I only sung it once!" Tara's only response was a terse nod. "I was inside, I wanted to be sure you would be safe. We'll talk about it later girl."

Avon was edging away from Tara, toward Epona. Tara deigned to notice him at last. "You. How about you stop there? I've got questions. And you've my answers." Her voice had a deep reverberation. Avon smiled greasily. "Well of course, a nice discussion is fine between friends." Tara's hood leaned toward Epona. _That's my cue! _"We know Alexandre is breaking the law, and we know you're helping him. Tell us how, and we'll be nice." _Know is more of a guess right now, but he doesn't know that. _The skinny fellow licked his lips before speaking. "Alexandre warns the serious smugglers where the sheriff will patrol, and makes sure his men are on post when they do inspection. The buyer meets them, and the goods can trickle into Roma, a bit at a time. No one gets hurt, and everyone makes some money."

Epona was silent. _There has to be more to it. But what?_ Tara most have been thinking much the same when she spoke next: "What else, sir? Why are you telling us this?" The man grimaced. "Listen, you aren't going to stop this, you won't even slow it down, no matter who you tell. But Alexandre is losing it, and this morning was madness. He's a mad dog now, and he's going to get people hurt. I was planning on doing it later, but since you're here already, things are getting worse." He shook his head. "Too bad really. He was a good guy." Epona remembered the cow, and the smell of blood and fear. _A good guy? _Epona's voice was sharp "Doing _what?_" Avon voice was casual. "He owns a few buildings in town, under his own name. A small box gets found inside? That and his marriage collapsing will send the", his voice turned nasty, "_good folk_ in an uproar. You tell the Sheriff, leave town, and everyone is happy. Gregor likes to be busy. He'll bite."

Epona stared at him. _A demon in human skin._ "Isn't Gregor in your pocket too?" Avon barked a laugh. "Of course not! The man's insane." Epona frowned. "Insane?" Avon sneered at her. "He's made this route the safest and quickest to Roma. A proper smuggler loves men like him! He'd rather be poor and dead keeping roads safe than rich and alive asking us for bribes. He's tricky to deal with, but predictable." Tara darted forward suddenly, slamming Avon against the wall! Avon grunted in pain. Tara spoke coldly: "You remember this: I'm no sheriff. You cross us, and I'll tear you open and leave you for the crows! _Got it?_"

Epona gaped. _Oh!_ _Theatrics! I can do that!_

Epona came to Tara's side. "Heed those wise words Master Avon. Honesty is a quality you should excel at, as you do in all endeavours, I'm certain. Although a novel stone caught in your shoe, I'm sure you'll find it agreeable to your future health to leave it there." He nodded hurriedly. Tara lifted and flung him away. "Happy doing business with you." Avon scrambled away. _Wow! Look at him go!_ When he was gone, Epona _whooped_ and sprang to hug Tara. "Did you see that! _Oh wow!_"

Tara hesitantly returned the hug. "Epona..." _Huh?_ Epona peered up to look at her mistress. Something like sadness and love seemed frozen there. Frozen with fear. _Quoi? Oh non. _"That stupid song... wish I never wrote it! I was just... being crazy when I wrote it!" Tara seemed to be searching her face. "Are you sure?" Epona covered her own mouth with the tips of her fingers. "I only sang it once! But I guess it spread a bit... I'm sorry! But no one knows it's about us, Acantha did us a favour really."

Tara returned the hug, more tightly than was comfortable, but Epona loved it all the same. "You... be careful with that big mouth of yours." Epona almost spoke, but thought better about and nodded enthusiastically instead. Tara was silent for moment. When she spoke next, her voice had a tinge of uncertainty.

"You're from a noble family." Epona nodded. "You were caught in the attack, captured, and I bought you." Epona nodded cautiously. "You were wearing pants and a belt when we first met. Riding clothes. In town." Epona froze, her heart beginning to hammer. Tara continued: "That isn't the usual clothes for a noble born girl, even if you were a lesser daughter. Why?"

Epona felt cold all over. Terrible guilt burned coldly. Tara was looking at her with concern now, as if she didn't understand what and who she was anymore. _I want to be Epona! You're... Your Epona!_

_Open the door, let the cold wind in... Oh Marcella! It was an accident!_

Epona fainted. But Tara was holding her up safely.

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_Cliffhanger!!!!!!!!!!! _

_I'm sure you had plans for this part, but I think you'll be interested in what I write anyway! _

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	11. Chapter 11 So why do you do that?

_I meant Rocky Balboa, the boxer!_

_Ya know, the famous training montage and whatnot! If you liked it…I'm curious… Gosh, you sure went to somewhere unexpected!_

_I liked the Rocky Horror show, I'd vaguely heard about it. _

_I can only peek at 5 minutes of it! _

_Grotesque… but alluring… it's similar to the Little Shop of Horrors, a nicely horrible musical!_

_Show me more._

_Please?_

_Here's something else you'll be interested in:_

*********

As always, Epona woke to find a new place before her eyes. She was tucked into a bed, comfortably warm. Judging from the daylight, she had overslept a bit. She had bleary memories of stumbling around, Tara guiding her ahead, as she always did._ I ran around._ _I exhausted myself. Did I drink too much tea? Did I collapse somewhere? _She had overdone it, maybe. She could run for endless hours sometime, like her namesake could… but sometimes even short walks tired her. It seemed like the world had an endless collection of ceilings, and Epona would see them all before the end. _But that would be divine, for to share them I have found one simply sublime. _

The excitement of recent days had taken some toll, it seemed. Yet, she felt so _alive_ and, best of all, clearheaded. _Stimulant of some kind? No… just living a dream. _In her time at the academy, some students would devour strange pills, proudly… _proudly! _saying they could study for endless, frenetic hours, and recall instantly what they read. They would then quickly add: "it's only becomes a problem if something wrong already existed", as if taking drugs that could break a mind only broke it… _if was already broken._ It was almost all a play on confidence. Perhaps warriors benefited from such practices… but ideas did not come from pills, and mindless toil. They came from people, and places. And they grew from caring, and believing in yourself. _Such silliness from some truly brilliant people and why?_ _Desire can make you blind… _

_Too much strong tea, maybe?_ Something was off, that was for sure. Memory clicked suddenly, a flash of sweet Adalia, a bizarre, cruel man… and _her. My Kitty_. _Where's Tara? _Memories from the previous days returned quickly. And a question, bitter and burning. _Who are you?_ Epona curled inwards, hands clasped around her sore stomach. _I had alcohol last night… my tummy.._. The room was nice, but had been hastily cleaned: old cobwebs and dust remained, here and there, but the air felt fresh, and the blankets clean. Epona leaned closer to one side of the bed. _Smells like Tara, she slept here._ Epona smiled softly. _For a while at least…. _

Footsteps, heavy but energetic. _Tara! _The door to the room opened and Tara looked inside carefully. "Epona." She seemed wary. She wore pants, and little else. Her skin glistened with water, curves and strength rolled together. With her recently washed red hair tumbling around her, she seemed… desirable. _Venus, rising from the water. But not a traditional one_. Epona peered up, that mixture of dread and desire making her heart pound. They were both expressionless, but emotions built up in the room. Epona couldn't take much more, raising the blanket protectively around herself and opening her mouth to speak. Tara's eyes flared, and she leaped ahead! Tara closed the gap quickly, tearing the blanket away and baring Epona's form!

"_Ah!_" Epona gasped in fright, ducking her head down and covering herself as best she could, tightening into a tight ball. Thankfully, she was not harmed. The red-haired woman climbed onto the bed, and knelt down, her slave cowering beneath her. Tara settled down, pressing on the slim girl with her waist, but not crushing, she kept her higher half raised. Her voice was low. "Talk… tell me. Who you are. I know your hiding something. You've adapted too quickly, you're more educated than almost anyone I've met, but you'd give it up to go around _rutting _with a barbarian? Talk."

Epona raised her chin. "Loving! Not rutting." Tara didn't respond. Epona felt herself tremble, the larger woman staring at her… _dolefully?_ "Tara… I wanted to see the world, I felt so trapped… I was curious… and then… you caught me. And now, right here, right now, in this strange place I'm your Epona. I'm Epona, the girl you always wanted. I feel so much… love. And I'm getting less and less afraid to show it."

Epona swallowed, and a red flush began spread around her cheeks. "Tara, I used to have a nightmare… almost every night… I was digging in trashcans for food, and my family just walked around me, never saying hello. One day, I left to attend a school. I never understood how much I helped my family. I was their lightning rod, the ice in their tea… And when I left, so much went wrong, both at my old home and my new one. Madness, sorrow, lies… even death, in both my houses. Everyone just let it happen. And nothing I cleaned or cooked or grew or said could fix it. I lost my passion. When this academy tested me, they threw me away after, like a faulty device. They had no regrets… only puzzlement. No one I loved asked me how I felt when I saw my grades, when I saw my friends suffer, when I heard my brother had been terribly sick. So I ran away I didn't want her to become a monster like the rest of them. But… I'm not a machine, I'm soft… and I felt such grief, and I wanted a nice life. On the night we met, she wanted to return home… and tell them where I was... yet, now, I am here with you. The nightmares came back for a time. On that terribly . They still do, sometimes. Maybe they will forever, but I'm getting braver."

Tara scratched her head. "I'd heard that nobility liked plotting… but has it really gotten so bad in Romulus?" Epona shrugged. "They say the Emperor is mad. That he'd rather have the support of slaves then his own citizens. The Nobles would overthrow him if they weren't so busy fighting each other to replace him."

Epona drew a breath, and lowered her hands from her chest. "But now all I want to be is your Epona, and stare at the stars when you don't need me. I won't mind your scars if you don't mind mine. I won't mind if you like other people…" Epona's smiled briefly for a moment before she continued, "It's just that… my Lady Dragon, my pretty Kitty, my sweet KittyKat, I don't think you'll find one better than me."

Tara said nothing for a moment, but she lowered herself down to catch Epona's mouth in a soft kiss. Tara began to break away, but Epona raised herself on her elbows to follow those warms, tender lips. A more insistent, delicious meeting of lips began, in mid-air. A few warm breaths later, and Tara's lips hovered away… but not very far…

Fire seemed to burn in the barbarian lady's eyes when she asked with uncommon gentleness: "What if I picked Caramel over you?" Epona closed her eyes and swallowed, dropping back down to the bed. "I'd still try and love the bits you give me." Epona hesitated a moment, before saying in a rush: "Adalia isn't better than me but she might make you happier. But I can't tell you what you want." Tara's slow smile was achingly beautiful. She threw her head back and half-closed her eyes, raising herself up. Her hair spilled over her shoulders, and warm droplets splashed down on Epona. "What if I could have you both?"

Epona was flummoxed. _That was… just a crazy dream we had one night…I love Tara… and Caramel is so sweet! I would love to be her friend, I think. What if she made Tara even happier? And Adalia really likes Tara… and I love having friends!_

_We could take care of her together! _

Epona squirmed, her delicate, trembling hands resting against Tara's flanks. Vision of two hungry mouths teasingly running up and down Tara's soft swells in harmony swirled wildly in her mind, and Epona felt lost and helpless. _A wild dream ends in the morning… doesn't it?_ _Maybe… not together… like that… But I won't mind sharing her. _

Tara sighed tiredly suddenly, and her head fell to the side. "Just words, meaningless, empty words. They can't do a thing against real things." One of Tara's hands fell to her stomach and she grimaced in pain and groaned.

Epona blinked. _She always liked patting my belly… because her tummy is… words can't help? _

_I disagree._

"Tara… I'll help you now. I think Adalia knows a lot more about this stuff, she seemed to have read a lot, but I think I know a thing or two also." Tara seemed interested. "What things?" Epona shrugged. "About words and thinking. And getting better at thinking." Tara's smile returned. "Better thinking? I'd love that! Go on." Epona smiled a bit before beginning her story. "In the classical curriculum, the mind and body are improved both, one strengthening the other. And music is there to refine and gentle the soul. So it was with me. Music isn't taught that much anymore . We could pick the kind of exercises we wanted, and I picked the three hardest: running, weight lifting and yoga."

Tara burst out laughing! "Weightlifting? You? Don't you mean Dancing?" Epona cleared her throat softly. "Yes… well… I didn't fit in much. All the boys shouted too much, all the timid girls not doing anything… and when we did leg exercises, I had to use the weights from two machines. The sound of deep metal hitting the floor, of silent boys and disbelieving girls… even the teacher stared. My legs… I can lift my own weight in metal, and myself along with it. Very easily."

Tara leaned back, and her hands trailed down Epona, until they reached her thighs. "Not bad." Tara looked back with a twinkle in her eye and began pulling one of Epona's legs upwards. "Heh… your toes have started wiggling. Hmm… what could _that_ mean?" Epona had to bite her lips together to keep from squeaking! Before things could go much further, Epona managed to rest a hand on Tara's arm. "Tara! No distracting from the story!" Tara harrumphed. "Fine. But I get to rub 'em as much as I want later!" Epona licked her lips. "Tara, what if I managed to do more than that… and with just some words?" Tara perked up. "Now that's something I'd like to hear!" Epona smiled happily.

"Anyway… in the yoga class, I learned some nice things. How to breathe, how to lie down on the floor and at the end we did a bit of sitting. We weren't advanced enough to do more. It helped us think, and heal." Tara blinked. "Weeks of work to just to sit? Sounds dumb." Epona nodded her head. "The teacher was… peculiar… There is so much silliness in it that it's hard to see what works and what doesn't, but I know it works. What if you didn't need the bathtub for your tummy anymore?" Tara frowned, her eyes hardening. "I don't _need_ it… or you. Remember that pony." Epona nodded seriously. "I know. Don't be angry. Trust me, it will end well. And you can still take baths anyway."

Epona breathed in deeply, and exhaled softly and slowly, making no noise.

"Tara… I need you to lie down on the bed, or on a blanket on the floor, on your back, and I want you to close your eyes. You have to be in a safe place with no strong lights in your eyes. Let your hands fall to your side, or leave one on your belly, so you can feel it move.

Now, I want you to inhale, with your belly first, and then your chest. When you exhale, do it with your belly first, and then your chest.

Do this, and think only of your breathing. Continue to do so… breathe in normally, breathe out slowly. Follow the path the air takes with your mind… imagine that you're breathing in light and life… believe that you are and you will be!

Essentially, anyone who closes their eyes for ten minutes will feel a shift of mood, and become more relaxed. However, you want more than that my Lady…

Now, bring your legs in until your feet are flat on the ground. Now lift one leg until it's pointed up and straight. Don't strain, just lift your leg. Up and down, and now the other.

Return to your straight position on the floor. This, and other exercises people do, are to prevent you from falling to sleep.

Breathe in, and out…. Softly. You might feel very tired now, and feel all sorts of aches, and pains. Think of those aches getting softer and fuzzy. If you feel too tired, just breathe a bit, listen to your body and go take a nap. Try again when you feel ok.

Now… once you feel calm… and you begin to feel a warm glow… concentrate on your hands, or your feet. Imagine your spreading that warm glow from your belly to everywhere.

Soon, if you think of your breathing and nothing else, your feet and hands might start to tingle. This is a relaxation response: the blood vessels in your limbs are expanding, like in sports or sleep… but without the hard work and unconsciousness. Isn't that nice? You must feel nice now… but ignore the distractions…

You'll start losing your concentration, every now and then. That's normal; you'll get better with practice. You might feel angry, or afraid, or even think of someone you like and start to feel warm… and if you had to choose… would you choose love? I think you will.

Now you can go back to those places, inside yourself. Remember, you can always go back somewhere… but try and breathe deeply, and think only about your peaceful feeling. You can go higher, and dream of unseen colors, or go lower, and feel a sweet fire rise up to pull you down to ecstasy.

Remember, you can always go back, so try and go as far as you can.

Epona breathed out. "And then… when you're done, curl up like a Kittykat… and imagine someone _you_ love is petting you… and relax…"

"And that's just from laying on your back. I can barely manage sitting myself. You fold the knees in, and let your feet rest on your thighs: the Lotus position. Some people think sitting as a Lotus will bring light to your mind. It's possible, I guess, but something has to grow to capture the light, I think. I've also thought that, as many nerves run in the legs, and respond automatically to actions, so when they're folded _just so_ it sends just enough pressure to wake the automatic reflexes up. You know, when a Doctor taps on your knee to see the leg move? I think it's the same thing. It would be like… sprinting as hard as you can… but for _minutes_ instead of seconds. But you're also breathing softly, and dreaming. So you have two parts of yourself awake together. Whenever I try Lotus sitting all I can do is laugh and see lights! Someone else might say it would "_wake your mind up_" but I think she would add a lot more to it…"

Tara seemed to be thinking with her eyes close. "Light a fire? Huh. I bet you're rubbing your feet against each other right now" Epona stuck her tongue out a bit and smiling: "I might be…"

Epona smiled didn't fade, but she let it dim a second.

Epona sighed and rubbed Tara's belly. "Maybe all that tea, beer and coffee is making you all hurt and gassy. But that's ok with me; I'm disgusting now." Tara resumed what she had begun raising Epona's leg, and felt the other one curl around her thigh. "You're disgusting now? I should twist your ear." Epona tried not to laugh. "No, I really am! Don't you mean nibble? And don't you need to try some meditation? It's very good for you." Tara chuckled a bit. "I'll try it out, but we have to finish what we started here… don't we?" Tara lowered herself back down, returning to her soft ministrations. Epona's hands rubbed slow circles on her back, eliciting a soft, sharp gasp when she struck the right chords… but the fight was terribly uneven, and

Tara breath was hot on Epona's ear "I might mean to nibble your ear…" Epona shuddered, her trembling sending Tara along new trails…

Moments later, Tara spoke again, "I might… mean your pretty neck…" Epona moaned, unashamedly…

Tantalising instants later, Tara growled: "You little witch, trying to teach me magic are you? Now… I might… _be mean_ to your nice, soft stomach…" Epona was blinking away a tear or two… and her breath came so quickly…

Agonising minutes later, Tara kissed her way back up to Epona's ear… "You know, I mean to do more than nibble… I'm a girl who takes _bites!_"

As it so happened, Epona would love to be eaten.

Tara began exploring Epona's mouth, her quick tongue flickering against Epona's, sending aching flames spiralling around the poor, soft, defenceless, desperate and wildly wanton girl. With confident mentions, Tara pushed both of Epona's knees up and to the bed, a vulnerable position, but Epona was beyond feeling fear right now. Epona pressed her feet together… and clutched at her tempting red haired tempest. Tara settle back onto Epona, letting her thighs rest on Epona's… just that… nice enough… good enough… _so very good enough…_ because it was only a prelude to deeper fires_… _it allowed Tara to rest her soft place against Epona's… and _move… _powerfully and sensuously… a wild rocking that shattered Epona, plunging her into delicious delirium as red red hair covered her eyes…. and the music had no reason to stop, not for any reason whatsoever, no matter what color the skies outside were that month.


	12. Chapter 12 Epona practices breakfast

_The more I write... the more I realise I... have... plot commitment issues. _;_;

_It's so hard sometimes *sob* but I must soldier on, filled with holiday beer and cheer, because if that isn't the meaning of X-mas then I don't know what is!_

******************

Epona was discovering the new kitchen she was in. _Hey! An apron!_ It had a lot to offer, especially to someone interested in such things. But what was needed most was some nice breakfeast. _An egg, two pieces of bread, cheese, a slice of ham. Cook a grilled cheese sandwich, with the ham inside. It's called a croque-monsieur. Fry and egg and add it on top... and it's a croque-madame! Gooey and chewy for an eager lady to nibble. And for dessert... oatmeal cookies! Also quick and easy: egg and sugar, blended together. Add flour and mix, and then add oatmeal and mix! No baking soda, oatmeal cookies need to be hard. Be careful with the sugar: less is more! _Tara was walking around, bare to the waist, with her usual confident poise. Her red hair was a bit damp, but drying quickly.

But this made for a very golden brown breakfeast... it needed color and lightness! But what? _Mint? Fruit? Berries? Jam and ham? No! Oh... I don't know breakfasts very well... and it all cooks so fast! It mustn't burn! No time for my bitter limes or sweet rhymes!_ Epona felt a torrent of painful emotion dizzy her suddenly. Just as quickly, soft hands encircled Epona, gently pulling her away from the warm stove. "Trouble?" Epona sighed. "I don't know what to do next. Lots of excitement, I guess, but I just want soft, nice things for now. Stark black lines and white paper are all I know... but it needs to sparkle and glow." Tara chuckled. "It's breakfast, not art, you eat it because you've starved all night sleeping. Dainties come later."

Epona pouted a bit. "I thought I was the one making you hungry?" Tara squeezed her a bit more. "Well now... you want to make me hungry, do you? Is that what the apron is for?" Epona smirked rather impishly. "Well no, that's for cooking safety. I like this shirt!" Tara's breath was hot on her neck. "So, wearing an apron isn't supposed to make me want to throw on the table and... eat? Not very safe!" Epona bit her lip as Tara placed a soft kiss on her neck. _Oh my... _"Well... the tablecloth is pretty soft..." Tara ceased nibbling her, and simply rested her cheek against Epona's head. "Hmm... aren't you hungry too? Tired? Well don't worry about it, you just keep cooking... but how about we try something new?"

Epona was still as Tara tugged at her apron... and then her clothes... unwrapping her... and then replacing the apron around the pliant girl. "Heh... you know... this is the first time I've enjoyed playing with a doll! Hehe... hmm... not too cold? Put those slippers back on. Good. Now I'll paint a nice smile on to you..." Tara's hands trailed up and down Epona's back... sometimes lower... Epona tried to concentrate on the stove...

Epona felt... strange... very strange. She flipped the toasting breads... _almost ready_... and Tara's hands quickly slipped below the apron... to the place where her legs met... Epona gasped suddenly! Tara giggled!

The bread landed beside the pan!

"Hey!" Epona swatted at Tara's hands. "Méchante! Go and mix and the cookie dough, it's all measured already." Tara grumbled a bit as she began her own mixing but that eased as she began to oggle Epona. The slender girl removed the breads and cracked three nice eggs into the pain, one for each sandwich. She covered the pan and removed it from the heat so as to not overcook them or burn the butter.

Tara stared. The soft flow and smooth movements of Epona at ease were hypnotic... and to see her so, in the light of the morning, her skin flushed not just by heat, her liquid eyes filled with something... warm. Epona turned a soft smile on Tara as she waited for the eggs to cook. "Slow and steady for quick eggs... you know Tara, good cooking is a secret weapon you can use on any girl! It shows you know how to live... and that you care," Epona looked back to the covered eggs, they were ready. "...for her... because if she eats burned butter from the pan; her mouth might swell up, and then no kisses for anyone." She scooped the cooked eggs on top of the toasted sandwiches, with a pinch of salt and pepper.

Naked but for her apron and smile, Epona turned to Tara, the plate in her hands. "Breakfast is served!"

Tara had stopped mixing her cookie dough. Epona's smile took on some mischievious energy. "Flour next, then oats mixed with butter and we can eat them with some warm milk with them after... but how about you come here and eat first? No hurry, with all the sugar you added to the mix, you're dish will keep." Epona turned and walked to the table, her hips swaying slightly.

They began eating in companiable silence. No great declarations, no urgent passions, no rush to become something else... only a nice sweet way to be... _bee! Heeeh!_ _HONEY! Horny ham and sweet nectar! Toast and honey for my bunny!_ Epona darted up. _I saw a jar, not very far! _She dashed to the cupboards, opened and snatched a jar, and spun back to the table! She smoothly steped and glided into Tara's lap. "This is just what we need. Some nice honey. And I've been sligthly cold in my chair...since... you know... I'm bare." They ate quickly then. Tara returned to her mix at last, and cookies took shape at last.

Epona opened the oven, tapping her feet to a silent beat. "Ten minutes, and then we're done! We should do the dishes, egg yellow can harden pretty fast..." Tara didn't even glance at the plates, her eyes on her almost wild girl. She simply stepped forward and kissed her... kindly. It was a kind kiss, and Epona returned it with the same gentle passion.

"Epona... would you like to dance? With me? Nothing wild." The dark haired girl stared. _No one has ever..._ she blinked... and she swallowed. Her throat was tight... she blinked again, and a few more times... "Hey now... just some soft dancing, nothing else..." Tara pulled at the apron string, letting it fall to the floor. Epona's voice was nothing but a soft hum. "You want to cry a bit? It's ok... I don't mind a soft girl... and you had some roughs times too, I know what it's like."

Epona buried her head in the woman's chest. "I don't want to make a mess." Tara began swaying gently, Epona craddled in her arms. Tara's voice was vibrant and low. "You'll make a beautiful mess. Come on, you little butter mouse... melt for me... because I can't... I'm too big and mean... just let it out... for me..."

Epona didn't sob, but her tears began to flow... _oh!_

_I skipped a math class all year, it was hard, and everyone there wasn't working the way they should... it was painful to see, so I didn't go... and half the class dropped or failed... but I hadn't gone so I didn't know anyone... and I always fall in love with my math teachers. Both men and women. Beautiful minds I want to touch with my ugly passions. So I couldn't go... __and I need more money and a better job... school is expensive... a bookstore would be nice...._

_And I wanted to spend more time with my red Neko-Niki... who loves even cold words so much because it's warm hands that write them, a soft tongue that says them... and gentle body that sways to and fro as they flow... and I so wish she would hold me... or anyone! And it scares me that I feel this way... but I know I'm not alone when I feel this! _

Tara petted her softly and _wish_pered sweet nothings into her ear."Hey now. It's ok. It's a new year soon... and now we have some cookies to eat!" Epona's tears eased. "Yes, we do, don't we?" Epona nodded desicevely. "Tara, you're so... warm... and so brave. That won't go away, no matter what happens. And my resolution is to be more like you." Tara leaned down to pick up the fallen apron and wiped Epona's tears away. Tara's own eyes seemed liquid and uncommonly soft. "My cookies and hot chocolate will blow you away Epona. You just wait."

Epona smiled a bit. "Cookies? Hmm... Tara, don't you mean... dainties? Delicious, delighful, de...umm.. de... really tasty?" Tara chuckled and tapped her finger against Epona's mouth. "Tongue tied by my upcomming cooking triumphs? _Dainties_", she emphasized the word, "are all anyone needs to live, you know." Epona soft laugh was sweet. "Hey wait...do they even have chocolate in this world? They'd better, or I'm not living here anymore!"

Tara smiled and rolled her eyes. "It does now!"

Epona eyed the surrounding house. "Umm... who's house is this?" Tara's grin was wolfish. "Adalia's." Epona's mouth fell open. "Don't you worry your pretty little head, her husband is spending some time cooling off in the sheriff's cozy cell. So I figured: hey, free house! And so here we are. Now we just have to go and plant some incriminating evidence in his toolshed, we save the girl, and then... and then I'll have Adalia... and you... all for sweet little me..." Epona was still gaping as Tara went to get the cookies and heat some milk. Epona slowly nodded. "That sounds... really good, actually."


	13. Ch 13 Tara lounged in her chair

_Current status: wearing a totally sweet Santa Claus hat and filled with a small cold of my own!_

_But love is the best medicine... so... I wanted to send you some!_

_I wrote this while listening to this song: _

_youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=POd5QmLz3iM _

_It's my song of the week! It fills me with non-alcohol based delirium..._

**************

They had a few moments to pass before they left the house. In order to free Adalia, they had to break into Alexandre main business. He owned a Tanning shop not too far from town, and a small general store he held himself within town, and it was the most likely place he would hide anything if he needed to. They would plant the bag there, and Tara would than warn the Sheriff, claiming to be a bounty-hunter following a trail. Afterwards, Gregor would learn some of the details of the smuggling ring, interrogate a corrupt guard whom Avon had given up to be named and he would then be fined or exiled. Adalia's honor would be tarnished, but she was well known and loved by all... and the town itself had voted for her husband, so casting stones in a glass house was hard, particularly when you lived there. Epona frowned. _A political marriage maybe, even in this small town?_ The thought made Epona unhappy. _The world was a hard place to love sometimes._

Tara lounged in her chair beside the table, idly peering at a book from Adalia's large library. It contained many surprisingly exotic books from far-away lands, which Adalia seemed interested in translating. Tara and Epona had both perused it in their free time. Tara had scattered them across the table, and seemed to enjoy leafing through them.. Even the nonchalant way she had scattered things about the table spoke of her casual primacy in the environment. "Still worrying Epona? Come on now, relax. What are you thinking about?" Her tone and gestures portrayed casual power and confidence. _No wonder she can rile people up so easy!_ Epona sat in chair beside her dear one, her legs curled beneath her. Epona alternated between reading and thinking of kissing Tara, whom may or may not have been thinking much of the same

Epona smiled at her, in that mix of shyness and excitement she felt when Tara paid attention to her. "The only Tyrant my mind has is you, Tara." Tara smirked. "Tara the Tyrant... are you planning a sequel to that song? I liked the maiden ploughing bit, it was pretty funny." Epona blushed. "I'd never be able to sing it too you sweetly enough. I'd look silly." Tara sighed, in almost genuine sadness. "I never did get the whole Romusi dignity thing. Why would they care if Alexandre is a maniac as long as he does the job? Politics, humph! A doddering senate filled with fools that stab each other in the back, and Dictators who give up their power after a year in office. Stupid. Everyone knows slavery and conquest is the true strength of the wolf empire: the sword and the whip. Why pretend it's anything else?"

Epona stirred at this rant. _Everything she said is true, and yet.._. "The Romulus senate governs for the people... but even in Romulus, the equestrians and citizens of the first century have greater voting power so it is not equal, true... and the laws they make benefit the great families most... yet the voice of the common person still reaches them!" An impulse made Epona grab Tara's hand and bring it to her lips, softly kissing each fingertip. "To seize power is to be shameful... but if a sword places herself in the hands of someone worthy... willingly... because she does what the people can't..." Epona gently nipped at Tara's finger. "Oh, you have some honey on your fingers... So good... Mmhmm... so... _Popularis_ is encouraged, and senators compete to win it, wealthy men create public places for all... and are rewarded with _imperium.._. the will of the people, the sworn swords and word of the people... and even when the consul puts her sword down and the _imperium _passes to the next man or woman, its _auctoritas_ remains with the one who held it. So long as she maintains the calm dignity she had when she held onto power, of course. And no sword is ever perfect, no matter how much she wishes she could be." At this, Epona began lightly licking and kissing Tara's palm... and the edge of that strong hand...

Tara's face tried staying grim but a small smile seemed to creep irresistibly across it. "So... tickling can get me in trouble in Roma? Interesting..." Tara flipped the book open. "Hey, this one has some pretty funny ideas about sticking needles into magic energy flowing inside you... ouch! Hmm... It says the foot is connected to every body part, even the inside bits! It's even got a chart. See? Wow. Huh. I think Adalia owns a torture book. You can never tell with some people." Epona stared at it a bit queasily. "I'm sure I'm not at all ticklish whatsoever and especially not my feet." Just to be safe, Epona tucked her feet below herself anyway. At this, some irritation flashed on Tara's face.

Her smile fell. "The sword is nice, yeah, since it's a crazy world. But what about the whip? You know where most Amazons come from, don't you Epona? They always appear on the edge of the Empire. Most are the wives of the men that fill the slave pits of Roma. _So_... what to do when the Legions have taken your wealth and your love? And sometimes even more? What do you think about that?" Epona drew up proudly. _You figure out a way to bake a bigger cake, so no one is hungry anymore. _

_But I'm not that good a cook._

Epona closed her eyes and nestled her face into Tara's hand. Its wetness was cool upon her flushed face. _My wealth and my love?_ "Right now... it's necessary, it seems. Or so I've been told endlessly. Most say: so why not learn to love it? But the sound of the whip is bitter to my ears, no matter the notes it plays. But I can't change it... I can't do anything!" Epona closed her eyes, frustration burning in them.

Tara gently stroked the soft, expressive face she held. It was the first time she had ever seen Epona close to open anger. "Hey, now. What if we could? How do we replace the slaves?" Epona breathe sighed out. She was silent in thought for many moments before speaking. "Aqueducts carry water farther and quicker than any woman can carry, and turn our mills. Smiths use steel to create tools that allow men to do so much more work... it seems to me our wills are the greatest tools we have and that what we truly lack is thoughtful calm work... instead, we fill our heads with ritual and worship. But the gods can take care of themselves. I say: Prometheus stole fire from the gods, and was punished... but his descendents are so much better now, aren't they? Jupiter Maximus Optimus holds my lightning... and we need to figure how to steal it from him! So I've been fiddling with locks recently... the simple ones aren't that hard really. It's actually very easy; you just need the right tools. I'll try it tonight. You can always smash the window if it doesn't work." Tara perked up. "How about we smash it anyway?!" Epona poked her playfully. "Keep that for later! And Adalia owns the building too, you know." Tara sighed plaintively. Epona reached out and squeezed her knee. _Those are nice knees._ Epona bit her lip. _Very nice! I bet she dances wonderfully. _

Tara seemed amused by this enthusiasm for knees.

She stood and stretched, rolling her shoulders to warm them up. "It's simple until it gets complicated Epona." She offered a hand to Epona, helping her stand. "Ok, all this thinking is making my head hurt. We'll eat, take a nap and go when it's dark." Her eyes were held a spark of light, one ready to jump across to Epona.

Epona felt a sweeping heat pass over her as she held unto Tara's hand...

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Tara slept softly. She always had. _Even my sleep has to be the best! Heh... _Epona slept like a green-eyed rock, snuggled warmly against Tara. Tara considered her little mouse more closely. Most Peoples wasted time on their gods, Tara herself had wasted enough time on that uselessness, but few people loved ritual and pomp as much as those of Romulus. Epona didn't even seem to believe in the gods! That eagerness to blaspheme must have had a story behind it. Epona herself seemed to be rather complicated, almost excessively so! And yet, she always seemed to want to please Tara as best she could. _Shouldn't I return the favour?_ _I wonder what'll she dream of if I do... this? _

Tara began humming into Epona's ear, a wordless purr, low and throaty. Epona seemed to stir, her hands slowly weaving against Tara. Her breathing was still slow, but began to deepen. _She starts to dance, of course. Should've known!_ Tara's song trailed off and Epona stop her movements, but began to snuggle closer into Tara. The red-haired woman began lightly touch her sides, almost – but not quite – tickling the curly haired girl. Epona seemed to shudder softly and stir, her hands tightening around Tara's arms and her legs began to kick fitfully. Tara stopped, and let her hands relax on Epona's sides but now the her sleep seemed disturbed. The girl tossed, and began casting about, her legs tangled in the blanket. She even made a plaintive sound of distress. Tara winced. _Oh! Now I'm just being mean. I keep forgetting how easy it is to overwhelm her... _Tara leaned in to kiss the sleeping beauty. For a moment, Epona gasped in frightened confusion, her green eyes blinking.

"Epona. Hey. You're a beautiful girl." Epona seemed stunned. "Wha-what?" Tara shrugged and grinned. It was hard to see in the dark, but Epona had a hand folded across her shoulder and could feel it. "Figured I should tell you one of these days. Ya'know, romance and all that. You have a great smile too. But the best part is how much you like taking care of this old warhorse. That makes you the prettiest girl around. Or whatever." Epona seemed at a loss for words, her breast rising and falling more and more quickly. She seemed almost to be reeling. "Tara... no, I don't care if you're one hundred... I'm... Tara... I... oh, Tara... I feel... so... Tara, I _need_ you! _You're the beautiful one!"_

At that, the girl almost crashed her mouth against Tara's in her hunger to find a kiss! Tara was astonished; Epona had always been shy with her needs, even as she responded to Tara's more open hunger, either through demure posturing or small, bland jokes. Now, some sort of mad fire seemed to being spreading through her slave, making her quiver with taught energy. Her mouth began pecking at Tara, placing almost a hundred tiny kisses in what seemed mere seconds across Tara's face! Tara grinned and was still as the slim girl apparently tried kissing Tara... well she just couldn't stop kissing, it seemed!

_Yeah, a picture is worth a thousand words, but I can trade a few words for a thousand kisses._ Tara chuckled. To that sound, Epona suddenly seemed to growl in response, and she nipped lightly at Tara's neck, her breath coming quickly and hotly against Tara's skin. At this, Tara laughed openly. "Feeling wolfish, my sweet mouse?" Epona responded by climbing higher, trying to press as much as she could of herself against Tara, and Tara into the bed! "Hah-heheh... no... nono, that's not how you do it. Down girl, down." Tara pushed Epona off of herself, and down into the pillows. Tara gently held her there, and placed a single kiss on the tip of her nose. "Oh Tara! Please... it... _oh!_ It's... starting to _hurt_." The girl half-buried her face into the soft fabric and tears began to fall freely from her eyes Tara could see... her agile legs curled up and Epona's hips fell open, barring herself unashamedly. Tara swallowed, feeling desire make her mouth water.

Tara covered Epona's mouth with her own, kissing her deeply, while soft sounds fell from Epona, even if she seemed to be trying to stay silent! Tara paused a bit, panting in unison with the Romusi girl. "Breath deep, right to your belly, try and feel it Epona... try to let it go and relax.... when you feel me..." _Oh damn, look at her! This should be good... _Tara pressed herself back down on the boyishly slim girl... her hands finding the sweet spot... Epona cried out, her hips bucking, and her hands tightening on Tara's strong arms and back. Tara skilfully touched those softest of places... and started kissing the spot below her ear... Epona's soft moans guided her along to the places... and Epona shuddered suddenly, falling silent for an instant... before sharply gasping, her hands tightening around Tara as she convulsed... a delirium of heat seemed to rob her of her mind...

Tara eased away... but sense seemed to have left Epona, as her lips once more found Tara's, delivering kisses once again... a bit slower and softer this time... Tara pushed her down once more... and once more began her gentle explorations... and once more... she found Epona's center, and began to delve into its mysteries... and once again, Epona fell back into torpor, her desire diffusing across her body in languid heat... but once more... she rose to find Tara...

And the flurry of kisses returned... more slowly than the last time... but Tara knew what to do... and Epona fell to the bed once again... to lie there, shuddering once more under the gaelic woman's gentle coaxing...

And then... again... she rose to press her lips against Tara's face... the hundreds of kisses now a mere handful this time... but Epona was still eager for this endless battle! Tara grinned and softly pushed her back into bed, her head falling to her pillow.

And then... Epona pressed her face against Tara's shoulder... and she seemed to struggle... but Tara helped her up... and Epona limply kissed Tara, her lips painfully swollen... and Tara smiled gently and pressed her back down... the girl could only shudder softly this time...

The slender girl panted and trembled for moments... sweat making her hair stick to her head... and Tara wondered if she could _actually go on_... but Epona grimaced. "It hurts too much... I can't... but I still want you... _oh!_" Tara chuckled. "You're still mortal. I was starting to worry!" Epona kissed her again, and this time, Epona softly pushed Tara onto her back... ready to return the delicious favours Tara had so generously showered upon Epona! "Tara... raise your hips a bit... yes... like that..." Epona slipped her tear stained pillow beneath Tara's hips, and the Terror of Gaelis settled down into the warm duvet.

"Do you like being on my pedestal Tara?" Tara's growled reply had a tinge of exasperation... and embarrassment: "I've been waiting long enough to get here!" Epona giggled in answer... and did as she was bid... and Tara waited for that first brush to fall against her, and when it finally came it almost made her scream aloud! Epona's hands gently and soothingly rubbed her belly, trying to coax sparks into a higher flame... but to send Tara to a higher plane... she needed to do _more._

Epona began her soft exploration of Tara's place, finding delightful ways to make the red haired barbarian softly groan... who sent her hands digging into Epona's hair, almost painfully. She placed her own hands on them, and Tara's fingers twinned with Epona's, holding hands for a bit... until Epona freed one of her hands and let it follow the path her tongue was taking... the sleek wetness it found a _taste_ment to Epona's growing skill in such matters... and Tara's hand seemed to vibrate with shuddering lightning... Tara's sudden cry was _ambrosia_ itself to Epona's soul.

Epona gently licked that place, teasing more shudders of pleasure from her barbarian champion... and softly stoking the fire until it was ready for a second blaze... and after that second fire burned itself out... Epona slowly explored the path's up, her champion sweet sweat a triumphant road she could follow... she settled down unto the almost fever hot Tara, who cradled her to her chest. "Love is the best medicine, don't you agree?" _I almost want to tell her she's right for once, but if I give her a hand she'll take my arm! _Tara stayed silent.

Epona at her best was warm blanket, ready to embrace her unconditionally. At her worse, she was a sermonising little know-it-all who used way too many big words. Epona idly played with Tara's red hair. "You know Tara... I did not want to say this... but for awhile I thought you had been in prison for years and that's why you were so angry, and talked about your age all the time. It kind of scared me for awhile, but I don't care about anything bad you did, the good is just so much better..." _Did_ _she honestly think I was a bitter escaped convict? Apparently so! _It was almost flattering, in a way.

Tara chuckled and shook her head. Epona clearly had some fanciful ideas about her. She leaned down to kiss Epona's curly hair. "I'm just a girl trying to do her best Epona. Well moppet, you feeling ready to go? It's pretty dark out there now." Epona went still and Tara felt nervous tension build in her. Tara patted her soothingly. "Don't worry, it'll be fun! You wanted to pick a lock, remember?" Epona swallowed and nodded. "Don't you want to save Adalia?" Epona nodded, more determinedly this time. "Then let's stop talking for once and do something!"

Epona rushed to get their clothes and gear. Tara sighed and let the last small glow of pleasure fade. Beside the bed, Tara starred at the large bag they intended to plant in Alexandre's office. She peered into it. Small jars, filled with black powder... _black lotus, nasty stuff... _small bags, filled with mushroom... _hmm, nah, too risky..._ a larger bag, filled with dried leaves. Tara grinned... _Hey! Sweetleaf! My pipe has found ammunition!_ Behind those leaves... Tara frowned. A small amphora. Usually used for storing wine but to find it in this bag... _Aphrodin. That stuff Romusi drink before orgies and marriages... and only the temple of Venus is permitted to make it..._ _they say it lets you the truth in the other's heart._

Tara had never tried it, but she had heard of it from women kept as concubines... an aphrodisiac that would send its drinker into impossible passions, eager for clients... for awhile at least. Slaves, mostly female, but male as well, had been given it by their owners to create passionate nights of false love, while their owner stayed sober. The slave felt the contempt of their abuser, but their pleasure as well.

And so, the next morning, it created a bitter memory and to be used that way, again and again. For a time, it had even been a fashion... until the owner realised what they were creating...

And yet, if _both_ lovers took it while in love, it was said to change them forever. It would make them the most sensitive of lovers, allowing them to experience true bliss and true union with their beloved. The knowledge of each other it gave made love... deeper. In Roma itself, divorce simply... never happened, unless one member of the couple changed radically during the years. It wasn't needed. _Aphrodin_ made you intimately aware of the other, and you either felt deep attraction, or complete revulsion.

It's only official use was to be once, during the first night marriage. It allowed the couple to _know_ if their love would endure hardships in their current state. If not, the marriage was dissolved, and the couple separated, with only the bitter memory of suddenly being jarred from love into revulsion.

Tara thought of Epona and her hungry love. _Five times, almost six. Gods. I'm... almost jealous. With this she would go further than she's ever gone and..._ _I could... follow her. And I would... __**know**__._

Of course... of course... the downside had created monsters. It could utterly burn love out of a mind. Some couples who took it could never be together again: it removed all the grey shadows and left only love or hate. To abuse it too often left only bestial lust and hollow minds filled with nightmares: hunger, fear, and, above all, ruthless, vengeful rage for those who had loved them... and lied. They were Romulus's greatest shame and its greatest bringers of woe.

The Amazons.

Such was the fear of them that now only the great temple of Venus within Roma itself allowed its creation, out of fear that more Amazons be created, and unlike other substances, most adhered to the ban. It wasn't the easiest substance to make either.

Tara stared at the amphora. The price of peace of mind could be high.

_Does she love me? Truly? And... if she doesn't... can _I _live without her?_


	14. Ch 14 Somewhere wonderful or terrible

_Does this story help you? I hope so._

_Anyway! Adalia and Epona need to have a meeting of minds, and Tara and Adalia a meeting of hearts! _

_Onwards! _

****************

Tara peered at the lone factory beyond the town. Tanneries smelt of strong, noxious chemicals, and couldn't stay within town limits. They would enter, find Alexandre's small office, and leave evidence of his wrongdoings. She would then alert the authorities about the fake evidence to the true crimes. Only the soft whisper of grass hinted at her steps, the tips of feet landing first. Beside her, the slight Epona walked without sound. The autumn leaves were beginning to redden. _We'll have to get moving quickly if we're going to make it to Roma and then my home. Adalia will be safe and sound. Maybe Granny will move in with her, and cook a bit while she manages things. Or..._

_She could come with us._

The idea was slowly boiling in the back of Tara's mind, ever since that mysterious night the three of them had spent together. Epona was satisfying, profoundly so, their shared aspirations made for a profound connection... and yet... she could be so annoying sometimes! Tara had to admit it: Epona was not the type to make house, not matter what she felt right now. Unlike her, Adalia had such a sensitive soul. She knew what Tara would feel, moments before Tara even felt it! And Adalia's sweet laugh made life seems so nice. In bed, her initial impudence had been followed by a gentle warmth and sweeter shyness. Seeing the well tended home she had created for her undeserving husband had only strengthened this feeling. With her, Tara could simply relax.

_But can I take her away from her home? From her little store? From her books?_

_From her family?_

But here and now, they had a step to take. In the night, the tannery loomed darkly. It was the size of a large house, with many leathery bundles strewn around outside to dry, and a head high fence around it. The rotten egg smell of sulphur hung in the air, as well as viler smells. _Urg, no wonder this guy is trying to smuggle, what a crappy life_. "Do... do we go in?" Epona's eyes were very wide. Tara shook her head. "This far from town, they'll have guard dogs. Which is why," Tara produced a paper package from bags, "we'll give them _this: _some meat, with a bit of Black Lotus. Should make them numb. Hey, it's that or kill them." Epona grimaced. "Oh... ok then."

Tara flung the pack over the fence. Some brief barking ensued, and then the sound of scrabbling. _Two dogs_. Black lotus would create numb euphoria in people, and send the animals into a happy stupor. Epona seemed uneasy. "Will it hurt them?" Tara shook her head. "Only if they keep getting some. They're already trained attack animals, they can take it." Tara opened the fence gate, and entered, Epona behind her, heading for the shop.

Tara waited beside Epona. "How's the door coming?" Epona was kneeling beside the doorknob, sticking a small hook and a lever into the keyhole. "I need to find the stiffest tumbler... and then get him up... then I twist the cylinder, the key holder a bit, so that it stays up... but only a bit... so I can raise the other tumblers... and when all three tumblers go up." The lock clicked. Epona stared at Tara solemnly. "It is done." Tara grinned. "Not bad! Why aren't you happier?" Epona was silent. "Ma'am, we're doing a good thing right now? Aren't we?" Tara caressed her curly haired head briefly. "Yeah. Adalia needs to be free." Epona stood, dusted herself and smiled at last. "I picked a lock! It was really easy!" She stared at the door.

The smell was almost enough to make someone gag, as Epona seemed dangerously close to be doing! Tara patted her soothingly. "Breathe through your mouth." Tara strode in calmly, her hand on her new sword. The inside was a store room for chemicals vats and almost finished leather. _Should be safe enough for a little light._ Tara could see another door. _The office. _Epona had finally overcome her sensibilities and entered the dark room. "One more door." Epona knelt and worked again. Another click, and Tara could open the door. _She makes it look easy!_ _I really need to pin her story down. Some sort of Academy? Catching lightning? Don't the _Equites_ send their children to Greece for further studies? Epona went to Greece, and then suddenly wound up in Argonia? Does she belong to a great family? Was she running away with her sister? But... do I want to see what's behind her fragile mask?_

Tara didn't know. Life was simple, Tara had gone to great lengths to make it so. Epona was a complication, a Gordian knot that Tara couldn't bring herself to cut because the string might lead somewhere else.

Somewhere wonderful or terrible.

The girl peered up, and some wild fire seemed kindled in her eyes. "Done and done. One more. Good things come in threes." Tara grinned and shook herself a bit. _She's not a monster! She won't turn on me, besides, what's the worst she can do anyway? _Inside, a desk, empty bottles littering the floor and the stale smell of alcohol, strong even in this place. They found the small safe. Epona bit her lip, and set to work. This one seemed harder, but Epona preserved. Tara watched her. Epona repeated the same movements, making only a small change each time. _Heh. Look at the way her tongue sticks out. Adorable._

The last lock clicked. Epona shivered with pleasure, her eyes filled with ecstasy. Tara's smile widened. _Safecracking seems kinda fun!_ Within the chest, gold pieces, quite a few actually. Tara eyed them wistfully. _Hmm... I should hand them to Adalia myself, Alexandre won't hide them from her later. _Tara scooped them up, and replaced them with the large bag of dangerous substances. Epona nodded. "Done, done, and done. Three times done."

Tara chuckled. "Then off we go!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Epona had returned to Weatherwax's home. Epona twisted her hands together. She even started clicking her nails together. _Oh this is dangerous. Too dangerous! _ Tara had gone to warn the sheriff, Gregor, that the mayor was hiding corrupting substances within his business. _I hope she's ok!_ Adalia had received the gold with a frown.

"I never imagined he was hiding so much. I knew about his bar with Avon, and I was glad at first! He needed to get away from his tannery. But then the drinking started. And now _this!_ He's fallen so far... so far. What will I do?" With that, Adalia fell silent. Epona felt her heart stirring. _She's so good to so many people. But who's good to __**her**__? She needs a hero too! _

"You need a hero Adalia. Someone to... set you free." At that, the woman nodded slowly, staring at Epona. "Y-Yes. I've found one, haven't I? After all these years, I can admit it, at last. I've... never felt this way. About anyone." Epona smiled at her. _Tara is pretty great isn't she? "_I've hidden behind this smiling mask for so long, I thought it was my face. But now," Adalia smiled happily, "but now, I can share my smile with someone who deserves me. You, Epona, it's you." The blonde haired woman leaned down to tenderly kiss Epona, and the stunned girl didn't move.

Adalia tenderly held unto Epona. The simple love and affection was enough to dizzy Epona. "Tonight Epona, tonight... hmmm... you'll try some potatoes _au dauphin_: cooked in milk, with some nutmeg and spices, and then in the oven with a bit of cream until the liquid is gone and a delicious crust covers them. It'll be great. It'll be hard at first, but I know what you need."

_What!?_ Epona felt her thoughts scatter like marbles on a floor. Adalia continued: "I've spent the last days reading and rereading your journal," _my what!? _"And it only confirms what I felt when we first met: you're... wonderful! The way you describe your travels and the places you've been! Oh, it's so... beautiful; you truly are a great bard. It's people like _you_ who create the things I love! But I can see the toll it's taken on you: your poetry... wanes... at times... and specks of _blood_ stain the pages. And my soul feels so torn when it sees them! It has to stop! Tara is killing you! I can't let it go on!_ I won't!_"

Epona gaped in wordless astonishment. Adalia was filled with a determined anger Epona had only seen in truly pious priests decrying injustices._ A stoic philosopher couldn't do better_. Adalia calmed, and hugged Epona tightly. "I know... I know you like Tara, I like her too, but she too dangerous, too uncivilised. A Romusi enslaved to an ignorant barbarian? No. So... I'm going to free you, and you can stay here... with me." She looked into Epona's eyes, and love coloured them beautifully bright.

Epona disengaged herself from the tight hug. "Adalia! I don't have a journal!" The woman blinked. Epona felt her eyes tear up. "Don't you see? _That's Tara's journal!_" The woman reeled back as if she had been struck. "No! She couldn't." _I pulled them into this mess! I ruin everything! _ Epona felt like a wretch. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Tara isn't a monster, she just acts like one. I'm sorry. Give her a chance!"

Adalia had covered her face with both hands. She mumbled something. "What?" Adalia raised haunted eyes to Epona. "I told the sheriff who Tara is. I told him that she's the one who manages the smuggling in and out of town! He already knows about the stories of the Terror of Gaelis. He'll be ready!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Tara nodded curtly. "You see? Alexandre runs the whole thing." Gregor nodded impassively. "The guardsman confirms your story, and this evidence is damning enough. It seems all my work does nothing but _help_ these cursed bastards." Tara half-smiled in sympathy. "You know, I've always thought sheriff was a pretty pointless job." The man smiled in grim amusement. "Thank you. It isn't. They always make a mistake, and we always catch them." The man passed his hand through his thinning hair. "This is a dangerous land, but that is changing. In a way, I'm glad it's only smugglers: the dark side of Roma, but it still shows that the Republic strengthens here. Raiders are far worse. One day, the Republic will govern this place directly, and we will be full citizens."

Tara considered the man. His reputation seemed almost exaggerated. Oh, he was big, and well-armed, but to hear Adalia this man was the scourge of the hills! He was overweight and middle-aged, with a balding head. "What's so nice about 'em?" The man sighed and looked to the south, toward Roma. "You mean, other than the wealth and luxurious squalor they live in?" Tara chuckled. "Yeah." The man considered her with a frown. "Well, they have the aspiration that all People will one day emulate the Gods, in both body and mind. Medicine and knowledge also come from Roma, and no one can deny that!" Tara frowned pensively. _Haven't they taught me everything I know?_ "Just as slaves and gold flow back to it." The man nodded. "Just as Roma's wealth then flows back to the Gods, and the world is spared their wrath." Tara smirked. _Pious fool. Have you ever met a hungry priest? _

Gregor shook himself. "So! We have caught our corrupt mayor in the act! He will pay with his life or in exile, once the magistrate has reviewed the evidence. You've done us a great service, bounty hunter." Tara nodded. "I'll take the bounty, and be on my way out in a few days." They walked out of the tannery, Gregor in front. "Where did you say you learned of these smugglers?" Tara's face stayed blank. "I caught a wanted thief, and he exchanged the information for his life." The man eyed her sideways. "I have heard two stories recently," he remarked idly, "one claiming that a Gaelic warrior is here to destroy Alexandre and besmirch his honor, and another that a Gaelic warrior known as the Terror of Gaelis works _with_ Alexandre, and manages the transportation of these poisons. Which do you think is true?"

Tara felt a headache coming. _Two stories? Avon sold me out, obviously. I was expecting something like that, but who else?_ "I think the same people who have been using you are still using you Gregor. I'm just a convenient, flashy, distraction. Avon is the one betraying everyone: he's Alexandre's partner in crime. He manages the comings and goings from his inn. You know, the strange fellow who teaches the children?" The man stayed silent for a moment, before drawing his sword. "Avon said you were here to destroy his friend's honor."

_He said WHAT! That sneaky weasel said the reverse of what he promised! Taking the virtuous friend route it seems... good one. Odds are Alexandre will still be inculpated anyway, but he'll be home free._ "Terror, you must still give me your arms and surrender." The warrior's hand tightened around her sword as she smiled. "Will I now?" Gregor was unfazed. "Something else Roma has taught us, barbarian: discipline beats savagery, every time."

A dozen men and a few women with hunting bows surrounded the building. Tara could probably dart back into the tannery, but at least a few arrows would find their mark before she did, and then what? Tara was almost ready to spring into action when a thought froze her. _Did Epona tell him this? No, she couldn't! She wouldn't! But would she? Who else knew?_

_She wanted Justice. Is this it?_

_I want to see her smile. But whose justice is this?_ Tara could kill Gregor, of course, and die doing so, but he made the lands Adalia lived in safe... from people like Tara. Tara's hand fell from her sword. "I think I'd make a better friend than a prisoner." Gregor didn't disagree. "Being a sheriff may have suited someone like you... perhaps it will. But we need to have the truth first. No harm will come to you, until the magistrate has seen this case." _ A Latin citizen's word against a barbarian Celt. Oh yes, that should go well in the court._ "Heh, the only time I try and do the right thing, and it comes back to bite me. Fine."

Tara flung her sword at his feet and folded her arms.


	15. Ch 15 Her next steps

_Gosh, Epona seems anxiety prone!_

_And the _Phryne defence _is the funniest thing ever!_

**************

Epona sat in a chair head down, arms to her chest, her eyes open and lost. Her stomach seemed painfully tight as she considered her next steps. Tara had been imprisoned and Epona was separated from her sweet one, and a roaring fear and guilt paralysed her. Tara had made everything open up for Epona, but now she needed _her!_

And Epona didn't know what to do.

_I'm worthless. Spineless. I'm… so scared!_ The cup of plenty had briefly touched her lips, and seemed to be agonisingly drifting away. She had always been the one who comforted her family, but now, the hungers and passions around her were too great… _I'm just a speck. I can't nurture anyone. I wasn't taught anything about love and caring. I didn't even think I could…_

_I had… soft things… as a child. Oh, I liked tales of warfare and love as much as the next Romusi, of course! But I also had soft things. And, of course, my parents would always "lose" them. For the last one I had, it started and ended with an idle remark, from _him_, of course, a oh-by-the-way tone that always promised a dark day… "How long will she have that silly stuffed animal?" and I knew the last of the soft things I had would be killed. I was rather more insightful than either of my grim parents. I had to be, since I could see the madness in him, even then. _

_Unless they always knew, and hoped I wasn't as weak as I seemed. _

_That night, I held that bright orange thing, and said goodbye. He disappeared the next week, and I didn't ask where he had gone. I didn't fight it, which is what _they_ had always wanted me to do. But I always had my pillow. A secret. I started seeing other secrets. The way the wind caught the leaves, and swirled them, the same way it did with dust. The way oceans moved with the wind. The way water flowed over my hands. _

_And the great game of Chess. Black and white._

_And then… they got us pets, because a man's heart might fail you, but an animal would love you forever… all those pets… my brothers… even my sister… would love them and neglect them. I fed them. I took care of them. I watched them die, and be replaced. Dogs, cats, birds, and for the Gods' sake, even fish!_

A culture of fear of the outsider, of death and a secret envy of your friends wrapped in jolly festivities and pompous winding discourses on nobility, in endless stories on virtuous battle, and on the qualities of a good soldier or wife. _As if my father ever did anything but talk. "Such a fool I was, to be a teacher! Such a waste! The army is for _true_ men!" _

_Virtus_ met facing death and defeat with cold, ruthless, organised violence. Every barbarian who opposed Roma's will knew her legionnaires would fight, even in the face of a defeat followed by torture and ignoble death. Roma would then return better prepared, with nothing but cold vengeance in mind.

At home, the women of the Wolf Empire did much the same, yet with Pudicitia in mind, the virtue of demure gentleness. The appearance of demure virtue, all the while as unseen, poisoned daggers flew in the savage world of Roma politics or in the "managing" of the household slaves or in jockeying for marriages for their children, or even by simply sleeping with each other's husbands… or dying in the throes of childbirth…_ even if her hips are too narrow and her body too weak, it is her duty! The marriage will strengthen us all! Epona, we do not marry for love, such folly is for the commoners: the prerogative of our Family demands duty!_

_Because love is never enough. They wanted utter devotion!_

_Virtus _meant that the when the wolves fought for position, the earth would drink of blood. Pudicitia meant they smiled nicely when they spilled it. Just as Epona now needed to fight. She could almost hear her father's voice…_ Fight with honor, never yield, and return on your shield! _Which he would follow with a sly smirk. What would her mother have said? _Do your best! Even if it's never good enough. _Come to think of it, winning had never seemed to be part of her future.

_But… only for my soft one, who pretends to be hard, only if I have to._ Roma justice meant the offender rarely had a chance at a second offense. _I can't let that happen to her. I won't! Virtus. The great game. My pieces: some gold from Adalia… but not enough to bribe a magistrate in a famous case! My mind and letters. My useless body. Adalia; my Knight, Granny Weatherwax; my King. Everything else: caught! _

_My strong Tower… my wise Bishop… my clever Fool… My Queen!_

_And I, the eternal Pawn. Smooth and faceless. Who moves ahead, docile, and attacks… crooked. Who reaches the end and becomes… whatever she wants! First, I need a better position… and then… do I chase the king, or free the Queen? _

When she had first started playing, Epona had always had a bad habit of trying to checkmate the Queen. She understood the rules perfectly, except the most important one. It had baffled her teacher.

Her lips curved into a slight smile. _Old habits die hard_. _But now I can do both. Chase the King. And Tara is a Queen worthy of a good play… and a good, gentle, sweet checkmate!_ Epona sat up and folded a leg over her knee. _She'll take me to a home where I can love as much as I can. Am I not a descendent of Venus herself? Why should I bow my head to anyone?_ A few reasons came to mind but a sudden thought eclipsed them.

_Maybe we'll visit the great library of Alexandria one day! Wouldn't that be nice?_

"Granny, do you have any paper? I need to write a letter."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Tara groaned for the hundredth time. _Gods be good, how much LONGER can this last!_ She was locked away, in a well kept but dank cell. Her suffering was impossibly immense, intense and driving her closer and closer to madness.

_This is so… __**boring! **__Epona would love this, I bet. Locked away with nothing to do but think…_

After her capture, she had been unceremoniously dumped into her cell to await judgement. _Judgement._ Once, it had filled her with exhilarated fear. It was the only end she had ever thought of, that, or dying gloriously on a battlefield. Preferably, after being judged guilty, she would rush a guard, wrest his weapon away, and fight her way to freedom and then, once freedom attained, die from her wounds. She had tried preparing a speech, but had had to start over a dozen times…

_Look at me! Yes, I, the Terror, undefeated in battle! I was caught by naught but a trick, so swallow your pride, wretches! And now, you will all taste my wrath! And now, you will feel shame curdle your toes into wiggly despair… and then she would bite her lower lip and close her eyes… she looked almost as if I was torturing her… even as she begged me not to stop!_

Tara groaned for the hundred and one_-th_ time. Epona. That cursed Epona! _I had it all figured out. Everything was perfect! A slave or gold? Wow, those big green eyes! Hmm… I must be Tara the Dunce of Gaelis! C'm'here Slave! Look at me like I'm the best thing in the world! Whisper your damn lies to me! Lead me on! Cook that nice food! Get me a crazy night with a pretty girl! Kiss me like it's the only way you can find to breathe… Wrap those long legs around me… Say my name when I make you catch fire… Smile gently when I kiss you afterwards… and then snuggle into me like I'm the Princess of your dreams… while those innocent hands of yours dance underneath my blanket… hitting me… below the belt… and… and…! _

_Then stick me in jail after!_

She slapped her hands to her forehead a few times. "Damn it! Damn it! _Damn it_! I bet she's gloating right now! Oh, that little _bitch_ just can't wait to see me crawl and beg for mercy." Tara stood, and darted to the cell door to angrily bang on it and shout: "Guards! A bucket of cold water here!_ NOW!_"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Adalia, would you please deliver this letter?" The blond haired woman took it hesitantly. "What are you going to do?" Epona shrugged. "I've never done this before, so I don't know how it'll end. Well, I hope." Adalia's eyes were still puffy from crying and but her voice was even as she spoke: "Epona, I'm so sorry, so sorry." Epona took her hand and squeezed it, hesitated, and then hugged her. "I know. Me too. Shush, it'll be ok. I've been in worse, and Tara has seen it all. I'm not afraid!" Adalia stepped back and looked at her. "Liar. You almost fell to pieces a few moments ago! You… really love her, don't you?" Epona didn't know what to say. _How do you measure love? How do you know?_

"I want to love her more and more. I just don't know how to do it." Adalia sighed. "You just need to practice it, like anything else, and Tara needs to practice it too. I never thought someone could be so bad at something so simple! Everyone else does it!" Epona awkwardly nodded. _It doesn't feel simple!_ Adalia shook her head. "Gods above, where did she find you? Anyway, how are you going to free her? Let's see that nice smile that dragged me into this mess!" Epona exhaled softly. _What am I going to do?_

"Maybe we'll try the Phryne defence in court? I bet Tara would love to see that!" Adalia blinked. "Court? And what's the Phryne defence?" Epona stuck her tongue out and looked away modestly. "We take our clothes off and Tara will be found innocent immediately." Adalia smiled in amused puzzlement. "Are you making that up?"

Epona only grinned mischievously.

With a start, she suddenly remembered something else. "I'll need a scarf too, for the collar!" Adalia raised her hands in placation. "What did I do to deserve all this? Ok, ok, wait right there. Then off we go…" Epona watched the sandy blond woman leave, emotions conflicting in her heart. _She's so incredibly nice! I wonder what Tara is doing. Nothing too bad I hope!_

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Tara continued her tale: "So those bastards had built a damn gravel ramp to our wall, big enough for them to just run up some ladders they had. They kept coming over the wall, but what they didn't know was that we had a smaller wall behind the first one. Just some bags of sand, and piles of wood, but it was enough." The guards grinned at this. "So, yeah, they could have started throwing rocks or spears down at us, but we had our shields up and they had guys who couldn't see ahead in the smoke pushing them forward. We didn't have a clue what was going on behind that wall, but we gave them enough to think about on our side!" Someone refilled her wine cup. "Hey, thanks. We had all this stuff going on, when the Centurion tells us he wants someone to go behind and get their chieftain while everything is going crazy. Well, Hera's tits, that sounded fun to me! Anyway, the line gave a good push, and they decided to retreat off the wall and try a better attack, and then some of us just rushed out, me in front, with my buddy Drea. No one could tell whose side we were on, we had just joined up and I hadn't gotten my uniform yet, all we had to do was take off our armbands and throw down our shields. So! I figured our guy would be in the back, telling people what to do."

Tara paused for dramatic effect. "And yeah, there he was, on his horse, with all his men running around. So me and my buddy Drea just rushed up to him, threw our spears, and ran for it! Didn't even know if we got him!" The memory of the exhilarating rush and retreat came back to her. "His captains start pointing and screaming at us, but were running back to the wall, so the men thought they meant to stop retreating and keep attacking! The mess we made!" Tara chortled.

"Half their army just plain deserted right there! The rest did when they saw their friends running. Yeah, that was a great week to join the army. The legate gave us commendations, promised us land after our services, and told us we'd be made Latin citizens. But twenty years following orders? Not for me!" The audience of guards had listened raptly, and started telling their own stories from the hills around town. Tara was describing their future ambitions: glory, honor, and courageous struggle in the service of Roma, rewarded by generous boons afterwards. _I was barely a girl when I did all that…_ the memory was bittersweet now. She would learn to read in the legions. She would find mentoring with Drea, who pursued her with an avidity that had flattered Tara... But she had always felt outside the fellowship of her fellow soldiers, something that only increased with her successive battles and victories. In time, she left, Drea following her now, to find battles for herself alone.

_They wouldn't make her an official Centurion or me the banner-holder. At the end of the day, we weren't Romusi. That damn eagle standard, always out of reach. I filled my life with battles, and then what did I find at the end of that? A little slave to tell me I did everything wrong?_

Tara's tightened her fist around her cup, anger flashing through her like a lightning bolt. "When is that magistrate going to show up?" The guard who had filled her cup answered her. "He sees cases at the end of the day. He'll see you today or tomorrow, he's Republic's voice in our town. Tell us another story!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Epona walked into the kitchen. She only wanted to stare at the stove before leaving, its heat a poor substitute for Tara's warmth. She found the old Weatherwax beside it, basking in the warmth like a lizard on a rock. The old bird cracked yellow eyes open partway. "One step at a time, girl, and remember to enjoy every step of the dance. Don't think about what'll happen out there; it'll end someday, somehow, so enjoy the trip while you can. I figure I got ten years left, and then, Elysium and my pig headed oaf husband, while I wait for my ungrateful sons to join me up there. Or maybe I'll come back as a lion? Wouldn't that be nice?" She hesitated, before asking "What happens afterwards, girl? You're barely part of this world, can you see beyond it? I'm… tired of being disappointed."

Epona didn't know. She shook her head. "I'm not a prophet. I can't talk about something I've never seen." Epona leaned down to kiss the old woman. "You did the best you could for everyone. We'll be right back, and we'll all have a nice supper. We'll invite your sons!"

The old woman smirked, but didn't disagree. "Best I could? Very generous. Invite my sons? You can try. What about your family, girl? What'll they do when they see you with her?" Epona shivered. "They won't say anything, they won't care. My father can't say a thing; he didn't even have the "_honor_" needed to end his own life when he failed at his duties, again and again." The old woman smiled bitterly. "Some people can't let go of a dream. Well, they need to start chasing them if they want to catch them. Go girl, try and make her happy. She's almost as big a coward as you are, hiding behind that angry oafness. And try and invite Adalia along; she needs to see a wider world than this town and her books."

Epona nodded. "We'll see what Tara thinks about that."


	16. Chapter 16 Epona thinks about hair

_I had writer's block. It was unpleasant. It's never happened before._

_But that seems gone now! _

_Strange how language seems impractical at times._

* * *

Epona stared at her reflection. Her hair was longer, a thick black cloud of swirling, messy hair that looked closer to a ball of dense hay than an alluring mist. _The only way I know how to control it is to cut it short. Does Tara like it longer? I want… to please her... like a good girl should, which seems to be my problem, since Tara needs a hero right now._ And now she stood here, frozen. What would Adalia do? "_Look into your heart and find the answer! " But my heart doesn't do anything except hammer away… What would Tara do? "Cut the hair if it bugs you so much!" What do I want?_ The thought of Tara running her hands through her hair flittered across her mind, and Epona felt a pulse of desire flutter in her belly. _Get a grip! You have to look good in front of everyone; the trial takes priority over everything! Just grit your teeth and do it! Everyone else does! Why do you care?_

That voice…. That voice… was the voice of her mother, the voice of iron control and fear. The voice of Roma. It was no coincidence that the slaves the Legions captured were mostly male, although prostitution of particularly beautiful female slaves was common enough, of course. No need, since the women of Roma willingly accepted subservience in return for security and wealth. All would agree: better wealth and power than fear and weakness… _Why do you care?_

Epona didn't have any reasons she could think of.

_Why should I care if Tara loses her sword, and I can't replace it? Why does that feel so painful, that I can't give her the things she needs, when I should worry about myself instead? Why do I care how anyone else feels?_

Because it seemed to end her loneliness? Because compassion brought her understanding? Without it, she would only have been a pleasing soft thing for Tara to use and throw away, without any trouble. With it, she could discern and understand others in a way the seemed to frighten. _Of course my family would tell me that it was a weakness. Why my mother would never look at me in the eyes, even when I was a child. I terrified her, because behind her armor she was nothing but fears and abandoned hopes, and she thought she could hide it. I knew my father was sick almost five years before she did… I asked for help then, but they couldn't see anything wrong with him. I was the crazy one! The strange child… until he started drinking to try and keep control… until her struck a student in anger… no, in rage! And no one saw it coming, not even my mother. Because she had locked her heart down, the same way she wanted me to be. _

It explained why so many seemed to avert their gaze when Epona looked at them. _I once tried to talk to a sage, Doug O'sheroff, famous across all the oceans, to tell him I loved his work… and he averted his eyes when I tried to speak to him. He had been talking about his favourite teacher, the great Feynman, whose footsteps he had followed. They had both investigated great disasters that had befallen Roma. I never cared for the military failures of Roma, they were just more of the same old things, but to see those two projects melt away, while I watched… They both cared. They understood. They solved the problem. The awards they got really were only the cherry on their cakes._

He had been strangely embarrassed to talk to Epona. Was it because Epona had been as giddy and embarrassed as a fangirl? _In part… but also, the strange tone in his voice when he talked about the great dances Feynman and his fellows used to have in their youth. That poor man wanted to dance!_

And so, Epona had talked to his wife, a doctor concerned with the workings of the brain, whom had seemed a bit lonely in crowd. _I gave her some advice: "try dancing with your husband! Tell him you want to trace a parametric curve symmetric around the an axis. He'll be putty in your hands!" _The old woman had looked away then, and mumbled that "_my sister dances… not me…"_ and they resumed talking about the strange mysteries of the body and mind.

Epona hoped Douglas had gotten his dance.

_But Tara hadn't yet gotten _her_ due!_ _Here I am, still stuck in memories, and not trying to understand, more mechanics than mind. How do I exorcise this spirit? How do I keep my gaze steady? H_

Tara hadn't looked away. Of all the bad that she had done, or claimed to have done, she hadn't looked away. _We are alike_. _We don't look away._ As a matter of fact, she had welcomed her attention eagerly! Or as eagerly as Tara seemed able to do. _No wonder I feel afraid now! Hatred needs no reasons, and neither does fear, but love, bitter and hot, sweet and tart, how can you love without understanding? And… I miss the love. Her love. Her touch. The sweet smell of soap and skin. Of leather and sweat, of a shuddering limbs and quivering touches and shivering… oh those terrible wicked shivers... _

Epona felt tender heat surging up and down herself as thoughts of Tara filled her. _Gods! I wonder if she feels like this sometimes… _Her belly filled with a strange tension, a mingling of dread and desire, a prelude to a nocturne of quality… she hoped. Her shirt felt tight across her breasts. Epona hands trailed upwards, until she could feel the sharp tip beneath the clothes. She slowly traced a circle, her palm covering it the way Tara did.

_I can't give Tara what she really needs, I always knew that. I wouldn't be a good wife._

Epona's hand fell to her stomach. It was empty. _It always will be._ And yet, it felt like it shouldn't be!

_It's almost been nine months since this all started, hasn't it? Since I first met her. More or less. I always liked my body… it's a good one! But now I'm missing something. I don't understand myself, I don't understand this story. Nature decides what is and what isn't true. I'm empty. I can't give her a son or a daughter_. And yet, the dream of Tara holding her, of resting her rough hands on Epona's belly, a belly that carried a small star Tara had put there, the dream still warmed her, even as she knew it would never be.

_What I can do, what I need to do, is understand Roma, so I can argue that Tara is not a danger. Far from it! How do I do that? _

_I understand: the wolf empire is a hard shell, with a jealous heart. No matter how strong their armies are, no matter how hardened their soldiers are, or how ruthless its Generals, or clever its Philosophers, they can't change the Empire's heart. No matter what propaganda is being shouted from the rooftops, the core of any strong Imperial empire is the same. It's what all the doctrine in the world is created to master and control. Something that becomes fickle and fae under that attention._

_It's something everyone loves, and fears. Beautiful and harsh, hungry and dark._

_Within every truly great Empire is a hungry, jealous woman's heart._

And so, Epona's hair was, in fact, a matter of life and death. _Roma and her fashions. If I dress better than her, she'll view it as a challenge, but if I dress too differently I'll be a barbarian, below her attention. Hmm… I strike my own path, after leaping off the shoulder of a giant. Of course, I sometimes try to leap of the top of his head and he complains a great deal whenever I come back for another semester. It _was _the highest point to jump from, after all. Heh. Silly giant. Silly me. Anyway, I'll wear a Greek toga. Respectable, but subservient. Roma will listen, without worry of how I look._

Epona scratched her head. Her rebellious hair had a life of its own. _What to do about it?_

* * *

Tara ate her meal rather glumly. It wasn't bad, but after all the tastes Epona had made her savor, stringy beef and stale bread weren't quite up to the task anymore. _At least the wine is as good as it ever was. _She tipped the wooden cup back. They were luxuries, but Tara was beyond caring now. _This might be my last meal. I need to get up and attack… but the fight is leaving me._ _How did I come to this?_ Soon, she would be tried in a Roma court, and a thousand wriggling worms seemed to appearing around here. The trail of her life was a long stream of people passing her by, while she tried desperately to hold on.

_Should I pray for help?_

Tara thought of Epona, and the strange tale of how the girl had decided, on her own, that the gods didn't seem to exist. It was as peculiar as Epona herself, really: amusing and tragic._ How did it go again?_ "_I was ambling along at night. I was thirteen and it was very exciting! Suddenly, I heard strang, happy sounds coming from a bright window. I peered inside, and saw something very strange, very alien: three women, and three men, in front of a fire place, writhing and moving together, like a nest of snakes... but golden and gleaming under the light of the moon and the fire. It was the first time I had ever seen men and woman naked. Truly naked, and not merely a drawing of passionless moving machine parts. _

_As I watched, one the women rose above the rest, and begun undulating above one the men. At last, she gasped, and he whimpered, almost in pain, his hands closing around her waist, in a vain attempt to control her. He wasn't enough for her, she was unsatisfied. So she moved to the couple at her side. There, she kissed the woman, tenderly at first, and once the kiss was returned with timid passion, the kiss became hungrier. Suddenly, she pushed the girl aside, and placed herself above that girl's man. She thrust herself against him, hard, while her hands closed about the displaced girl's soft places. Soon, that couple moved with her tide, and when they capsized, she was the only one who surfaced. She crawled then, on her hands and knees, to the third couple. They didn't resist her either. In fact, they were more than happy for her attentions. _

_When she was done with them, it _still _wasn't enough. _

_So she moved beside the fire, painfully close, and sat beside it, her hands moving, moving, moving and not simply against her softest place, but upon every tip and edge of her own body. All the while she stared into the fire, her face flushed with maddened desire and heated delirium… and a fire of delight alight in her eyes as she shuddered with the fire's crackling blaze. _

_The sounds she made that night were beautiful._

_Unseen, I rushed away, in a panic. I hurried home, and buried myself in my bed and stared out my window into the night sky. It was the first time I prayed, with all my little heart. I prayed that I would never feel the kind of maddened, painful hunger that woman seemed to have then. All I felt in answer was from the sky was… emptiness. Within myself, I could only feel a trembling. And a great, yawning hunger." _

As the tale had unfolded, Epona had swayed back and forth, and smoky darkness had risen to her eyes. She had covered her smile with her fingertips, and spoke with a timbre of beguiling _faux-_innocence._ "And isn't that wonderful news for you, ma'am?"_ Her look of coy mischievousness had a charm that was hard to refuse… not that Tara had wanted to resist _too_ much. Tara had almost lost herself underneath Epona's hunger that night, and almost told her she loved her in those throes of passion. _Innocent until proven unremorsefully guilty and the proof was so warm… so wet… and… that sweet giggle. I loved proving her guilty._

_Gods be good, it was damn wonderful news._

Tara's hands lowered to her thighs. Worry was nagging her constantly, and release was… close to hand, so to speak. _This might be the last time I can feel… good. Even if Epona's is the reason I got stuck in here, she's still making me feel._

Of course, Epona might still save her somehow. Provided she hadn't abandoned her. And did Tara really want to ruin the meal with too much… "_snacking_"… before hand? _Epona's should be starving by now. Where is she at? Damn her, I'm not going to wait around while she may or may not be out there thinking of me. I was strong before I met her. That hasn't changed!_ She wanted to wrap her hands around Epona, either to wring her neck or to hug her tightly.

The door lock rattled, and a rough voice told her to stand against the far wall. Tara slowly walked there and slouched against, staring at the door with a small smirk. "I promise I'll be good. Can I go now?"

_I bet I'll_ _executed by the people who had called me a hero, ages and ages ago. Life is full of these little ironies. What's wrong with a little pillaging between friends?_

* * *

Tara stared at the ceiling philosophically. The march in chains to the town hall had been underwhelming from a professional standpoint, but rather pleasing otherwise. A few farm wives had given her the evil eye, and some good fellows had eyed her with derision. More interestingly, a few pretty things had peaked at her surreptitiously; much like Epona had done on some nights, but far more briefly: a quick look, straight and direct, to make sure she was watching them, before a turning away to look at something innocuous.

The highlight of her march to court had been in market: a pretty girl, rail thin, with a giant puffy white coat, had darted across Tara's path to the other side of the road, very obviously not looking at Tara, her shoulders taught with tension. Her destination: to stare at a piece of yellowed pork fat as if it had been the most interesting thing in the world. Tara had almost forgotten she had guards on either side of her, and she swerved straight for that pretty woman. The girl had looked up, frozen like a deer, her eyes flooded with shock at the sight of Tara grinning at her, the guards fingering their weapons.

_Damn, it's true: they really like a bad girl! Huh… all those years, I never realised how many looks I've been getting: I've got to be sharper!_ _Wait, what did that bastard just say? Focus Tara, focus!_

Avon had a weasely, obsequious smile turned to the man seated on the raised stone dais at the end of the room. "…proof that she is well known as a marauding raider: many tribes in Argonia have suffered due to her! Now, she is here! On the doorstep of Roma herself, to wreck mischief and deceive us: our friend Alexandre is no criminal! He is our mayor! One of the pillars of our good town, and she would knock it down! But why? To deprive us of a good friend, to shatter our strength! She is readying a pack of barbarians to attack us!"

_What is this a joke? _Tara felt laughter burst outwards! "Ha! If I wanted this town burned, I'd do it myself! What army do I have? The only dirt in this room is you, you traitorous filth: guess how fast he offered to turn you over Alexandre? He wants Gregor in charge, because that idiot is as thick and honest as a brick, and he knows you want to end this crap you've got in town! Crap _he_ brings in!" Tara paused, and starred at the man in earnest appeal.

Adalia's husband looked haggard and worn. It was hard to see why Adalia had married him. Dark purple splotches circled his eyes, and his skin seemed sallow and grey. He stared at the floor, withdrawn, almost oblivious to the happenings around him. _He was in a bad shape before this mess even started._ He stared up at Tara, his eyes dull. His voice was raw when he spoke: "Did Adalia tell you to do this to me?" Tara snarled in outrage! "Of course not! She cares about you, fool, even if I can't see why she should!"

A sharp banging snapped through the air. "Enough! Be silent Celt!"

The magistrate had banged his fist on the table. He grimaced a bit as he shook his hand, muttering: "I should really get a hammer of something… What is this madness we have now? A week ago this town was a idyllic! Avon! Stop your hysterics before everyone rushes to the weapons! Alexandre, what's happening in your town? A week ago all is well, and now your wife is disappeared and a blood crazed Celt is telling me this mad tale! Speak, or do I have to get your mother to tend to you? While your duty is left untended? The Governor _will_ hear of this, you can be sure!"

Red dots appeared on the mayor's face, and he angrily surged to his feet. "I'm sorry Magistrate Albin! The difficulties of my marriage weight on my mind heavily. This woman is clearly mad, and has hatched some scheme to sully my name and this town. I don't believe for a second that the poisons she accuses me of dealing with flow in and out of this town. The so-called evidence she found in my tannery was planted there, perhaps by a rival or an angry slave. Why would I need these drugs? I have everything I need! This town has everything it needs!"

_Except Adalia._ But Tara didn't say it

Something clicked, and suddenly Tara knew why Alexandre could have fallen so low. "You asked for his advice, didn't you? And he said he needed you to look the other way while he tried to get what you wanted. You knew he was doing something in your Tavern, but it didn't seem so bad, it never went into town, and the bandits melted away… so you asked for something… dangerous." _You asked for Aphrodin, to try and fix your marriage with Adalia._ "And Avon, your good friend, promised to help you out. In return for something… something he couldn't already get. What did he want Alexandre" Tara looked at him expectantly. _Avon already had his trafficking overlooked, its why set up shop here._

Alexandre was frowning, and shaking his head. "Avon has aided me in all things, and earned nothing but the respect of this town. All he has ever asked was for more work." Avon seemed to be smiling a wider and wider smile; his vibrating eyes filled with mocking laughter, and walked a pace to stand at his friend's shoulder. "When I came to this town, I knew I wanted to spend my life here, with my friends! Your foul tricks are only dooming you Barbarian. The Clans you attacked will reward us well for your capture, although the legend far outstrips the facts. Do you bribe every bard you come across? Or were the original tales some sort of joke? That must be it! They meant it as a joke, but we all thought they were serious! _Haha!_"

Tara couldn't let that go unanswered. _You'll regret opening your big mouth Avon._ Tara knew he was trying to distract her, but she had had enough of his mockery. _In the end, his crimes against _**me**_ are all that matter. He dies_. She could feel the vibrations of the guard behind her. _Elbow to the face, grab his sword, turn Avon into sausage, and then out the window I go_. Without Gregor guiding them, Tara was confident the townsguards wouldn't be much trouble as long as she kept moving.

_Where is Gregor anyway? He should have my back here! Where is Epona! _Aldin was blathering about order again, Alexandre's anger was waning, and he sat down once, his haggard eyes staring at nothing. _Now would be a good time to strike…_ The entrance to the courtroom opened, and Tara paused to see who was entering. It was Epona! Tara felt her heart leap and begin racing.

_Holy Hera's tits! I can't believe it!_

_She combed her hair!_

Epona had a moment of unease when the courtroom's eyes turned to her, but Adalia followed behind her and all eyes turned to the sandy-blond woman, and Epona was forgotten by all save Tara. Adalia murmured something to Epona, and took a seat in the back of the room, only sparing a small glance to the front of it. Alexandre had leaped to his feet, his eyes burning and his face flushed. "_Adalia!" _His tenor voice had a grating edge of pain and anguish. Adalia turned sad eyes to the desperate man. "I'm here to see the truth Alexandre. I hope things aren't as they seem, and I hope Magistrate Aldin will find the truth in all this. That's all I can tell you right now." She nodded respectfully to the white head Aldin, who returned the gesture.

Epona had reached Tara side by then. "I thought you weren't coming. I thought you had set me up to get free." Epona's eyes wavered and fell. "Things aren't the way I want them to be, and I wanted to hide. I'm sorry for making you face this alone, my Lady." The warrior shook her head. "Better late than never, I guess." Epona breathed out a bit, some tension leaving her. "My Lady, I offer my counsel to you in this endeavour. I would argue your case for you, knowing from your character that your deeds alone that your deeds stand righteous and true, but that your heart needs a gentle word beside it, amicable and soft, to smooth the roughness of your otherwise very sweet and delicious lips. I would be the word on your tongue, if you would let me be so."

As Epona's monologue had unwound, Tara had leaned further and farther forward. Tara's jaw worked back in forth, as if she were chewing a piece of hard candy. At '_very sweet_' Tara chuckled a bit and grinned. After the rest was said, Tara briefly kissed Epona, closing her hands around the girl's slim waist possessively, and looked into her bright green eyes. Their breathing slowed, and matched the other's breath, a minute union that meant so much. Epona's hands drifted upwards, tracing the strong features of Tara's cheeks, smoothing stray wisps of red hair, and staring into the soft brown eyes of the best person in the world.


	17. Ch 17 The Fluxions of Dreams

Epona stared up at the cold blue sky. It was bright and blue today, a light grey sky, slightly streaked with clouds. _Did I just slip down those stairs?_ The ice was cold and white around her, except where she had dropped her tea. _I did. Ow. _Epona waited for the pain to follow, but nothing was forthcoming: she simply felt loose; she was a puppet without strings. _What happened? _

They had been in court, when Epona's and Adalia's arrival impromptu arrival had created an uproar. Upon seeing Epona, Alexandre had begun having a fit, and Avon had begun declaiming of disrespecting the court's honor. Magistrate Aldin had been exasperated with them all, and demanded a recess until Gregor could be found. He wanted to speak to Alexandre and Adalia, alone, in the meanwhile. He seemed more interested in them than in Tara, it seemed. _Not surprising I guess, they _are_ the ones who run this town it seems, which is what he really cares about_. Epona hoped Adalia wouldn't be too shaken by whatever happened.

But Epona wasn't quite up to speed as to why she was at the bottom of these steps. Above her, a friendly, rumpled face was smiling down at her. "You were walking down the stairs and you slipped." _Elias?_ Epona blinked in surprise. _My teacher! My first real one! How did he get here?_ "Am I hurt?" He shook his head. "No, but you landed on your backpack. You toppled like a tree. Could have been a lot worse, but your backpack cushioned it. School saves you, yet again, _Habibti_. You're stunned, that step is wedge right in the small of your back. As for me, this is just some sort of dream, where you coil in on yourself and your memories like the _Ouroboros _and try and find something new in yourself." Epona blinked, more slowly, and didn't move. Elias gave a slight grimace. "You never skipped steps when you were with me, _Habibti_. Why change that now?" Epona starred at him, trying to work out the answer.

"I have to be faster. I skip sleep so I'm too tired to worry about things."

That slightly worried smile flashed briefly, sending even more wrinkles through her teacher. "That isn't a very smart _Habibti! _And now what? The best student I ever had is going to lie around, letting that mind go to waste?" _Waste?_ _I'm always busy! …aren't I? _Epona was too tired to argue. "I don't feel like I'm the best." Elias gave her another brief, worried smile. "I've taught this class for five years, and no one has even come close to you." Epona swallowed. She wasn't used to getting praised, and Elias wasn't known for giving it out. "Professor Yvon says I'll either get a doctorate in Math or become homeless. He just can't see me doing anything else." Elias rolled his eyes. "Yes, well, he's a mathematician, and not a very good one to start with. They don't think about the big picture. You're lucky I'm the one who corrects the exams here: not many people could follow your steps like I can. You know, you should go into Physics, like me! I've got a doctorate, it's not _that_ hard to get. As long as you're serious!"

Epona shook her head. "I don't want to work on bombs. Chemistry is much better. When I look out the window, I can see it everywhere. Inside everything!" Elias looked away suddenly, and seemed to look inside himself. "I had to leave my country because of things like that… Egypt is a beautiful place Epona… but I won't let my children be carted off to serve in that joke of an army they have!"

Elias paused then, and seemed uncertain what to say next. "Well… you did correct some questions in that chemistry exam I gave you." Epona grinned, slightly puzzled and amused at his befuddlement. "Oh! That's because the book we have have doesn't talk about that subject. I read it elsewhere." Elias started in shock, and then guffawed. "_Hah!_ Only you_ Habibti!_ I kept that test from the last guy we had teach that stuff here. I always wondered why everyone always failed it. I'll… have to rewrite it then. I always hated that stuff. Would you like to do it for me?" Epona stared at him, uncertain of what to say. "Nevermind! I'm just joking… That's why you're the best Epona. Because you love the world and its mysteries, and the people in it. You don't have the best grades, true, but sometimes I look at the things you do and… I don't know… I feel like I'm still a part of science when you show up. Like this work still means something." _I don't remember him ever telling me that! Oh, right. Dream... I only learned what _ _Habibti meant years later. It means: Beloved._

Elias continued: "Even after seeing the ugly sides of the world… and me."Epona shrugged awkwardly. "Everyone has gas sometimes… and other accidents. Also, now I always knock on doors before going into offices... just in case someone's looking at naked ladies." At that, Elias waved a hand in a shushing motion, his eyes darting from side to side while Epona continued. "And, I'm sorry I ruined the graduation ceremony. I just wanted to study so bad, and it was so _boring!_ So I got up and left and everyone just followed me! I don't know why…"

Elias grinned. "That's because it _was_ boring, but no one wanted to make a fuss. A two hour ceremony? For kids? Everyone wanted to go home! But not you… you just stood up and walked out with a smile, in the middle of everything. I'll remember walking into my almost empty class with you still there, still studying, for the rest of my days. By the way, on Friday, everyone leaves early Epona." Epona nodded attentively. "I know that now."

The Professor stared at her with kind eyes. "You should keep going Epona. I mean, look, Bill Gates is only now clueing in on the energy problem. Just a bit more juice and we can save hundreds of millions of people. A problem we've known about for _years,_ you and me. You just need to slow down, and do your steps more carefully. You're so close!"

Epona nodded dispiritedly. "I know. But he has money, so everybody listens to him. I failed at engineering, and now I have to wait a year before I can try and go full time again at my new school. I can't even take any classes part time now: it costs too much, and I didn't get the hours of work I needed. My boss used me, I think, and the work was… hard… on my spirit. I saw a lot of hurt people I couldn't really help. But now I'm scared. To ask for help. I'd make more money on social assistance, it's so humiliating. No one listens to me… I'm no one. I have no money. I can't go to school." _The truth always tastes bitter, but you have to know it to change it._

Elias paused and seemed to retreat inside himself again, before bursting into a brief, wild flapping of frustration and then stillness. _He likes to dance too? No… he likes to fly!_

"Hey now! So you're not a rich engineer. So what? People listen to every word you say! Remember that little remark you said when you asked your teachers for some study help? _"Reading these steps doesn't tell me how to use the equation, only where it comes from!" _and the head of undergrad studies challenged you to a calculation duel, then and there. You hit him with a lightning bolt, right out of the blue. And now, this semester, they have required reading _in all_ classes! Now everyone does the steps and the moves. Like they should. And they'll hand you a broom or something, and you'll get all the money you need then." Elias nodded thoughtfully, frowning.

Epona smiled, sad and happy. _I'm kinda glad no one knows I made that happen by accident_. With raised eyebrows, Elias spoke again: "And didn't you get invited to the big party they had? And the department head told you his big secret: he wants to start a nanomaterials program to work on solar power, and told you to think about talking to him later on in your studies. This, after talking to him for only ten minutes! Do you think everyone there got that offer? He's learned to see talent, it's his job. You're close to the end." Epona thought about it a while before speaking. "Well gosh; he might have been drunk too, you know." Elias shrugged. "I've never met a good physicist who wasn't thinking about his job when blind drunk. Magic words just fell right out of your mouth: "_all the sunlight is just falling on the ground! Wasted!_" and then what does he do? He asks you the big question: how efficient are solar panels now? And you knew: around fifty percent. He could barely believe that you're an undergrad!"

_There are few things better than catching sunlight all day. I'm a much better dreamer than thinker, it seems. I'm no engineer anyway._

Epona sighed. "So I need to get up. Can you give me a hand?" Elias grimaced in his abrupt manner. "Well no, I'm just some dream you're having, remember? Sorry, _Habibti,_ you're dreams are all mixed up again. Don't you remember the big rule?" Epona blinked again, and felt very tired. "I know: don't make it personal. Just the facts." _Who will take me out of the snow and light? I imagine I'll wobble up, shuffle back up the stairs, lie in bed and cry a bit, maybe sleep. I just don't feel like I was given a fair shot, and now I'm branded like a pariah. I'm tired… no one cares if I live or die._

Elias paused, and eyed his surroundings. Tara had finally noticed the small Epona at the bottom of the steps, and was hurtling downwards, quite fast. Elias stared in unease at the barbarian woman. "Well she seems to care."

"Gods damn it Epona! Are you ok?" Tara knelt beside her and peered down at her worriedly. "I fell down." Epona hated the childish tone in her voice, but there it was. Tara shook her head. "Are you _well?"_ Epona sat up, her legs curling beneath her. "Yeah. I'm good." Tara gave her a hand, and pulled her up without effort, and pulled her into a tight hug. "Damn them, they should chip the morning frost off this! Hey!" Tara turned to a nearby guard, there to ensure they stayed near the great hall that served for city business. "You fix this, right now! You _lazy_ bastards! She could have hurt herself!" Epona felt numb and simply watched as Tara berated the guards –"_I don't care if it melts later on!" _– Tara's heat and strength was comforting. _Who needs the sun, when I have her? She thinks I'm special. _Epona circled her arms around Tara's waist, and pressed her head against the woman. Tara was soft at the moment, unarmored. _She should wear her armor, just in case something goes wrong. I wonder if Granny is almost done with it? All she needed was wire. Making chainmail is just like knitting, it turns out! I could never get it to fit good enough for a battle, but Granny can. Tara should like it!_

"I'm sorry Tara. I'm stupid and tired. I'm a bit… stunned. I fell down." Tara grunted in exasperation. "Stop apologising. Those idiots should have cleared that morning ice. If you're worrying about stuff and falling to pieces right in front of me, well, stop being an idiot. Let's go back inside, get some more tea and talk a bit. You ok?" Epona smiled softly and relaxed her hug. "I'm ok…. My back is a bit sore…" At this, Tara sighed. "Bruises are like that." Tara pressed hand lightly on Epona's back. "I guess you'll need a message later… and rest. Nothing more." She seemed a bit glum at that, much to Epona's delight. "Oh, I dunno, Tara! I'm already feeling better!" Tara's grin was all the answer Epona needed.

Epona peered up at the warrior shyly. "Tara… what do you think of me? Do you like me?" Tara sighed once more. "This again? Damn, what's with you girls? Always needing to be told you're pretty. Why? I told you, you're easy on the eyes, you're funny, and now that I know you're going to be alright, I'll be laughing at you in a few minutes. You toppled like a plank and went down like a sled! _Whoosh!_ Hah!"

Tara released her hold on Epona and marched back up the steps, back into the building. The town hall was built in the Roma fashion, and held a small kitchen for the servants and slaves who usually served there. Fortunately, Slavery hadn't yet reached this town, so the kitchen would be clear, as it was very early. It was bare, with nothing other than dry goods and foods. Epona eyed it all speculatively. _What would be fast, and good, so we can move on? Maybe... even some dessert before they find Gregor? What do I have here? _Onions, garlic, mayonnaise (I _could make it myself, it's just eggs, oil and vinegar, but not worth it._) _Just need some fresh Avocados, and I can make a guacamole_. _Maybe the guards will get some if I make some for everybody?_ _What else?_

They had hard _Chorizo_ sausage. They even had _green Chorizo! _Epona smiled, happy! _I didn't think I could find that around here! Next time, I'll get some Geoduck somehow; or maybe even make pasta and mussels! Tara does like her sea food! _

So here it was:_ chopped onions (cooked a bit, or raw if you want it strong), some tomatoes, a bit of garlic, two dollops of mayonnaise, and mashed Avocados. Let it rest a bit, somewhere cold, so the flavors mix. Now, cook the Chorizo! It's as great as bacon, but... different! Get green ones (color depends on the spices) Put the guacamole on the some flatbread, but the Chorizo on the guacamole, roll the flatbread, and voila! Some sort of bizzarro green thing that tastes like hamburger! _

* * *

Tara had set about brewing some tea with the attentive care of a drug addicted alchemist, shooing Epona away when she tried to help ("No, rinse the kettle with boiling water first Epona! _I'll do it!_"). Soon, the last of the guards marched out of the kitchen holding their flat breads and a cup of tea, and Epona and Tara could settle down. Tara eyed her green meal with an amount of alarum. "So... green is your favorite color, I guess." Epona smiled happily. "Actually, I think I love the rainbow." Tara grinned. "I like some variety myself!" And with that she chomped down on her flatbread. "Hey! Whaddya know, tastes like green bacon. What's next? Aww... crud." Some food had been squeezed out of the roll and fallen unto Tara's chest. Epona rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. "Oh Tara, I even made the _guacamole_ extra thick so it wouldn't get out... but it's ok..." Epona leaned in, and licked the front of Tara's shirt "...I got it."

Tara leaned back with an amused smile. "You missed a spot. Still green. See?" Epona put aside her half-eaten roll and leaned in for another lick. The wool was rough, and clung to her tongue. "No good Tara, I'll have to wash a bit..." The girl went to the sink and found a cleaning clothe, which she dunked in some soapy water. She returned to sprinkle some water on the stain and scrubbed it. Tara watched, trying not to laugh at the intent expression on Epona. "Relax Epona, it's nothing. You're getting me wet... and not in the way I want!" Epona blushed a bit, and set the cloth down. "I'm sorry." Tara poked her side. "And stop apologising!" Epona nodded. "Ok... It's just that... you're my knight in shining armor, Tara. I think others need to see that too. That way, you won't get stuck like this again."

Tara looked at Epona carefully. Her green eyes held a note of seriousness that seemed to want call Tara to action. "Did you miss me when I was gone?" Epona looked away, before whispering: "Yes." Her voice quivered, even with that simple word. Her hands drifted up, and unwound the scarf around her neck. Her soft fingers trailed the metal circle that was hidden there, in a gentle caress. _Her slave collar_. Tara swallowed, feeling a lump in her throat. "What did you do when I wasn't around?" Epona looked at her the floor. "I got another blanket... so... I would be too hot at night... and it was heavy... and squeezed... like when... you're... _with_ me... and I thought about you every night."

Tara placed her index on the collar, and imitated the soft movement Epona had just done. "Do you feel that?" Her voice was low growl. She felt Epona shiver suddenly. "Yes." Tara's hand drifted to Epona soft throat. "That's "_Yes,_ _ma'am"_, girl. And _don't_ apologize again." Epona corrected herself. "Yes, ma'am." Tara nodded approvingly. Epona's wide eyes seemed very dark and green then, and Tara felt her slim hands touch her elbow, and then trail upwards and downwards upon her forearms.

Epona voice was a low hum "Did you think of me, ma'am?" Tara idly considered her. "No." Epona blinked then, and then blinked again. Before she could respond, Tara continued. "I thought of what I would do to you. I promised you a nice bath, didn't I? How would you like that? Some bubbles? Or a lot? I'll even rub those feet of yours. Or maybe take you dancing? Mmm?" Epona voiced a wordless sound of approval and Tara felt her hands tremble.

Tara smug smile trailed off. "But first, this joke they're pulling on me. I was _this _close to just killing the whole lot of the bastards, then and there. Now what?" Epona breathed in once or twice, trying to make order in her thoughts. "We have to show them you're not a danger, that you're a good thing for Roma. All they know is that you've raided some tribes out there, and they might get a reward for you. Avon will try and make them think you're a monster or something, so you have to prove the opposite: that you can read and write, and that you've been a Romusi soldier. That you follow your duty, and obey. That you're not something new and dangerous." Tara's eyes hardened. "I won't obey anyone! I'll always be dangerous: just look at me! At these damn scars all over me!" At that, Epona paused, and seemed to gather herself inwardly. Tara waited for an answer, the bitter churning in her gut a fire it seemed nothing could put out.

Epona clasped her hands together and batted her eyelashes are Tara.

"Please? For me?"

_I never raided a Romusi towns... except for the town where I found you._ A pang of guilt sounded in Tara, but she left that unspoken. _It would have happened, whether or not I had helped in that raid. I'm not guilty._ For a moment, Tara looked away, hoping the sensitive girl wouldn't see past her defences... but when she looked back...

Epona's eyes seemed so, so soft then. So beguiling.

And that growing, shy smile... bewitching.

A thought imposed itself on Tara then, almost robbing her of her breath._ We haven't kissed yet. My sweet shapeshifting sorceress. _She leaned into Epona then, and found a sweet response when she kissed her, avidly. She kissed _her_. Thoroughly. _She_ kissed her. Hungrily.

She kissed her, and tears fell from her eyes. _Tears always fall from her eyes when I kiss her..._

The red haired woman paused then, and whispered in raw, hushed voice. "What should I do?" Epona was in her arms, melted and panting, her eyes closed. Tara softly petted her, calming the eagerness she felt boiling away in the form she held. "Tell me what to do Epona." At last, her green eyes opened, misted with tears and passions. "If they think you a barbarian, that won't do. Roma has many dangerous people in it, but Roma only sees an angry male or a submissive female. One is below, the other above. The mind and the body. The sky of the gods, and the earth and oceans of the goddesses. You... aren't like that. So we need you to _be_ like that. A Roma soldier. One who takes. One who obeys. Roma will often raid for slaves. Aldin will admire that. You need to be like iron, but you also need to obey orders."

Epona seemed to be thinking. "Avon will provoke you. Answer him calmly, always. You meet your opponent with ruthless cold action. Whenever the magistrate speaks, bow your head, address him as sir." Tara shrugged. "Easy. What else?" Epona frowned in thought. "They're afraid of raiders. Well... the only people you raided were their enemies! And if you disrupted those raids? You're a hero then! Moreover, if you did so as an agent of Roma... Well... so much the better! You know how the Legions work, right?" Tara nodded. "So, you're an agent of my family. One who left to return me to my home, when you realised who I was. You obey me. I obey Roma."

Tara's face went blank.

_Obey her? _The thought was surprisingly seductive. Certainly, Tara ceded her place to when Epona arranged there camp. There were times, in bed, when Epona had simply wiggled her way above Tara, and that agile form could... _move_... in a way Tara simply couldn't. Power and strength were no match for that wicked wiggle. True, Epona had certainly made her run around, but actual betrayal seemed impossible._ She could never defeat me, in any way that mattered... so why do I feel like I'm not in charge? Like I've never going to be again? _The curly haired girl was still waiting for an answer, watching warily. _She doesn't look like she feels in charge either. That's a relief! _

The Gael raised a hand and curled it around Epona's collar. "We do this _switch_, but you do it for me. This is for me!" Epona gently touched Tara's clenched hand, and softly rubbed a circle on it. "You wanted to lift me up when I fell, even when I didn't ask for help. You're special Tara, and you deserve a special girl, someone who does things for you._ I _want to do something for _you_. But first, you have to take my collar off, so people don't know how we are with each other." Epona produced the simple key that went with her lock. Tara looked at, a strange anxiety blossoming in her breast. Tara's fingers felt thick and clumsy as they fumbled against Epona... but she placed the key within Epona's lock... and turned it.

The click was the loudest thing Tara had ever heard.

Epona smiled gently, and removed the metal band. "Tara, can you keep this for me? I can wear it again when we're out of this mess... maybe I can wear it again tonight?" Epona smile was mischievous, once again. _There's the girl I love._ Tara closed her hands around the circle. The warm metal was already cooling down._ She isn't wearing my collar._ _No._ _No! _

The red woman reached for the boyishly slim girl with her taught strength, and Tara pulled at Epona clothes, frantically, pulling the toga upwards. "Tara? Tara! What's wrong? _Wait!_" The squeal held a note of fear, and Tara felt the frantic panic lessen. "Leg. Your leg. Epona, I'll put it around your leg. The collar, I mean... and that way we'll still... be... umm... Epona?" Tara's hand trailed up and down Epona's leg. It felt hard, which wasn't unusual given how much Epona enjoyed to run.... but it was... _smooth_. "You shaved your legs?" Epona pressed her lips together, embarrassed. "Well... I...I shaved... so you can..." Epona voice trailed into a soft whimper.

Tara's hand had glided... higher... and continued to feel smooth, soft skin. Tara felt an amused grin cover her face. "So.... no more hairballs for your red kittycat?" Epona her face flush and even the tips of her ears seemed to pinken. "Ummm!" Tara was doing all she could to keep from laughing! "Smooth sailing into harbour, hmm?" Epona looked away, embarrassment making her as fluttery as a bird. Her mouth worked, yet no sounds came forth.

Tara patted the blushing girl's arm soothingly. "I'm sorry. It's ok. You can try new things, I don't mind." Epona nodded wordless, still red. "Now, give me your leg." Epona stood, and placed her foot before Tara. The Gael slipped the metal collar around it, and raised it until it reached a smooth thigh. Once there, she closed and fastened it in place. "Not too tight?" Epona shook her end. "Good girl. Now... c'mhere... lift it up... over your head..." The warrior held a bunch of cloth in her hand, gazing up enticingly with eager brown eyes. Epona hesitated, and finally spoke. "The guards will hear us... hear _me_... you know how I get!" Tara smiled contentedly. "I do. Sex is about losing control Epona, and you're so sweet and tasty when you do," she purred, "and if they think can stop me from showing you a good time..." At this, Tara grinned evilly, "well, they can try!" Epona smiled, a bit wistfully. "Tara, what did we just talk about? We have to pretend. Tonight, we can stop." The warrior's smiled vanished. _I am not going to beg for her attention!_

A knock on the door sounded. _Damn it._ Tara almost told them to go to the hells, when she saw Epona staring at her with those doe eyes..._ damn it!_ "Come on in! We still got some tea and a bit of food." The door opened, and Adalia stepped in. Tara felt icy rage coil up within herself. _She sold me out!_ "You! You told Gregor I was a smuggler! Nymph's nipples, why the hells did you do that? _I held you in my arms!_" Tara surged to her feet, and felt Epona's slender arms wrap themselves around her. "Wait Tara, wait! Let her talk! Please!" Tara gritted her teeth. "So. Talk."


	18. Ch 18 Who holds delight?

_Niki_

*************

Adalia sat down, keeping her posture straight and perfect. Tara stared at her, a mix of intense emotions swirling across her features. She stared at the small table where Tara had prepared her tea for everyone. At last, she looked up. "I hope… you've enjoyed reuniting with Tara, Epona." Epona's hands where tightly clasped in front of her chest as she stared at the floor. "Umm… yes, I think so! I really hope Tara enjoys my company. We were talking about how to get her free, and having a bit to eat."

Tara interrupted then: "We were talking about reasons for me not to burn this damn building down, and all the scum inside it! Scum like _your_ husband!" Her voice snapped harshly, and Epona quailed inwardly, wondering what she would do if Tara lost control of her anger. Adalia seemed shaken and sad, and Tara outburst made her shudder. Seeing this, Epona couldn't restrain herself, and placed a soft hand on Tara's arm. "Tara, stop. Please. Let her talk." Turning to Adalia, Epona spoke of what she thought Tara felt also, at least a bit. "Thinking I might never see Tara again was terrifying, of not being able to talk to her was even worse. I felt helpless because she was in trouble. Just tell her what you're feeling."

Adalia frowned distantly. "At first, I thought she was skilled, charming and that she liked having a good time. So… I let myself go. I wanted to forget my troubles, and just float. Forget of having to take care of this town, of watching Alexandre leave every night…. And… it was good. It was very good. So good… You were kind too Epona, I didn't know what to expect when I first met you. And then Tara… that wonderful night…" Her voice hitched, and she stopped. Tara hadn't lessened her glare, but her hands were no longer clenched tight. "So I needed to learn more! And Tara told me about her conquests and you cooked and stayed quiet… except when you wanted to play!" Adalia tried smiling with her usual good humor, but couldn't hold the smile for long. She resumed with a sad sigh: "I looked through your things when you weren't watching. I found that journal, and I thought it belonged to Epona. I… didn't think… anyone else could have written it."

Tara frowned a bit more, and muttered: "Sure, call me stupid while you're at it." Adalia stared at Tara with an expression of something close to grief. "I'm sorry Tara. It seemed like whoever was writing it seemed… a bit in pain, a bit sad, but _so_ determined. Someone determined to find beauty in the world, even if she never wrote of people in it, only of its places and things. And sometimes, it seemed fatalism crept in… I remember the words: _"the cart carrying our supplies in broke. It was fixed, but who knows how long it'll hold. Anyway! Today, the sunset was soft and the clouds fast, and this little stream I found sounded like a song, but I couldn't stop, just yet. At least I'll carry some of that stream water with me, to remind me of its beautiful song. I won't even drink it! Not until I need to anyway."_ and the next chapter was hardly more encouraging…" Adalia shivered. "I thought… Tara was _terrible_, to have dragged you into a hard life you didn't deserve, Epona. All the excitement I felt, at being with the two if you, it all became anger. _Oh!_ I had to do something!" Tears pearled in her eyes then, even her face stayed pale. "But now… Epona… never wrote it. It was you Tara. All along, it was you, and I almost ruined something beautiful by being the thing I've struggled all my life not to be. I was selfish, and blind, and I'm so stupid and dense!" Adalia stood, and clasped her hands together. "I apologize, Tara. Epona is in good hands with you."

Tara stared at her, her expression wooden. "So what do you think of me? You said I excited you? What do you feel now?" Adalia blinked, and looked away. Her whispered answer was tinged with fear. "I don't know. You like Epona." Tara glanced at Epona, who was watching everything with wide eyes. "I do like Epona. But don't think about her. Don't think about anyone else. Just tell me, what do _you_ want out of all this mess?"

The sun haired woman took a breath and shook her head. "I don't know, this is impossible." Tara glowered at Adalia, once more. "What do you want? More books? More money? A bigger house?" Adalia winced as if she had been hit. "No! No… I just want… _us_… to all be friends… I don't want anything _bad!_" The sun haired woman's voice anguish.

Epona watched the exchange with growing apprehension. _She wants more than that! Doesn't she? Am… I wrong about what she feels? I don't think so: I had to know what everyone felt, so things… didn't become ugly at home. But can I sense love the way I can feel hate or fear?_ That question wasn't something Epona was certain of. _ But… she can't bring herself to ask… because… why? Isn't it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all?_ Yet, Adalia didn't feel that way, it seemed. A surge of anger, marred with jealousy, crackled through Epona. _Why should _I_ wait around for her to tell Tara she loves her? I won't!_ _I want Tara! _But the feeling ebbed, too slowly for comfort, but still, it ebbed. Tara's hunger and love was something that belonged to Tara…_ water does not hold lightly…_

Not that Epona minded stoking that fire… but to _share?_ Or even worse, to lose? _If it happens, it happens. _

_It is what it is._

_Adalia is a good person. Such a very good person. And she's scared that she isn't! I'd like her to be as happy as she can be!_ Whether of not Epona could help Adalia was doubtful, but Epona did know someone who could… "We're you're friends Adalia. Even Tara. You don't have to be afraid, even if you think we're stronger, or meaner, or anything like that. I think Tara wants to know what you want, because she'd like to help you. I know I'd like to help you, and Tara always wants what I want! You don't have to play games with us… it's just that… I was raised in Roma, and I wasn't raised to be a nice or good. And Tara had it even worse, so we're all kinds of crazy." At that, Tara stirred uneasily. Epona continued, trying to put all her softness into her voice, something she had kept frozen hard for too many years... "It's ok to tell someone you love them, Adalia. That, for some crazy reason, you want them to be happy. And if they're happy to see you, well, isn't that just the best thing ever? And just because you feel something warm doesn't mean you have to destroy everything else you have. Now… tell us about the meeting with the Magistrate. But first, settle down a bit, and have some tea… and this crazy green dish!"

Anger was an emotion that scoured vigorously, but not something that dug deep. Epona wasn't a fire, but, whatever else she might be, she wasn't a digger. But deep, down in the earth, could be found water, warmed by the fires of the earth, but it was still something that belonged to Epona. And firelight could shine on water, if it was still, peaceful and kind. Gentle. One day, fire might even dance upon it, without fear. Until then… Epona could dig her little wells, and let fire see her reflection from far above… far away and maybe feel flowing water touch it, and giggle as steam enveloped her… and held her lightly… and briefly. Epona would return to the ocean sooner or later, and feels its cool, salty waters soothe her thirst, but until then… well… couldn't a wellspring profit everyone?_ But I don't want to go so deep I don't see the sun anymore, or feel the waves._

Adalia had the dish, (without meat, to Tara's dismay!) and a cup of tea. She nibbled her meal, and downed the hot cup in moments. It seemed that her demand for divorce had been received with the expected disapproval, but Aldin couldn't deny Alexandre seemed irrational. The tale of his wild attack at the Weatherwax farm, so close in manner to a drunken barbarian raid the Romusi told tales of, had greatly swayed the Romusi Magistrate. "So," Adalia sighed, "he'll possibly consider hearing my divorce appeal. I intend to divorce and I mean to keep my dowry! Especially now that I know about Avon and his… dealings!" That was said something close to Adalia's usual verve. Tara had listened with her usual impassive stance and this time Tara refilled Adalia's cup. Epona smiled, feeling glad the anger in the room was cooling.

_Anger over what?_ Epona wasn't comfortable with the answer, but its knot was centered in one place: the gorgeous redhead who had sent fiery steam surging into Epona, and danced cartwheel across Adalia's sky filling her senses with smoke and the scent of passion. Tara, a rocky crag? Tara, a volcano? Tara, a confused, frightened girl? Tara, a peerless warrior? All that, and more…. _But… but… doesn't fire also need earth? Ice… isn't rock. Not for long, anyway… I'm sure she'll figure out what she wants! It's Adalia I think needs the most help… who needs… to see the light._

Epona cleared her throat. "You know Adalia, something I'd always wanted to see was the great Library of Alexandria. They have the greatest lighthouse ever built there! And the endless book piles they have! So many, you could never read them all! So wonderful." Adalia shrugged, idly sloshing her tea around. "I can get books anywhere. I can order anything I want. I don't need to leave my life to study, and spend money uselessly, and what does that even get you, anyway?" Epona smiled wistfully, memories both bitter and sweet returning to her, as she answered. "It gets you friends. It shows you worlds and peoples you've never imagined, and you _grow_ when you go there, because you catch the light of a hundreds, and add yours to it. Some people will tell you one color is better than another, but they're wrong. You need all the light beams parallel, in equal intensities, striking the surface of a clear triangular prism in unison, to make daylight…" Epona's voice trailed off… the waves of memory catching her again… the sorrow of the sea… the thorn of thought…

And Tara stood, and spoke calmly: "So you have to bring them together to make it." Epona smiled at her warrior gratefully. Tara reached out and lightly tweaked Epona's ear before turning back to the blue eyed woman "Adalia… come here." Nervously, the sandy haired woman stood. Tara smiled at her, and simply held her hand out. "The Chief's in my village often had more than one wife, and I thought: _"Why can't I get what I want?"_ but that's not what _I_ want now. Now, what I want… is to give you what you need." Adalia seemed uncertain and skittish suddenly, as if she, _the noble one_, as if she were the one who was unused to seeing this… unused to seeing devotion.

Tara's usually wry smile was as kind as anything Epona could do, and much, much warmer. "I'll take you to Roma, and make sure you get to Alexandria by ship. I don't know any scholars, but I've got a friend of two in every port. So you can go to the school you need to be in. I'll get your dowry back for you, and you can spend it on what you want… even books about art history, if you like that kind of stuff." Tara smiled briefly at Epona, who smiled back, feeling that strange warm feeling she always had when Tara smiled at her. "We'll go join you, after I've done my trip back home. And then, we'll meet you in Alexandria. You and Epona will start talking about the crazy, stupid, useless things you've learned, and I'll smoke my pipe and nod along, and think about the song I'll play after supper. Whaddya say to that?"

Adalia mumbled something unintelligible, and stepped into Tara, clutching at her with an emotion she could speak aloud. Tara pressed her lips against the head now pressing into her chest. "Hey. It'll be ok." Adalia lifted her head, enough for Tara to press her cheek against her temple, and give her a tiny nudge up… raising her head enough for Tara to press her cheek, agaist the woman's cheek, letting her nudge the woman, just a bit higher… just enough… for a soft kiss, tender and bright.

Adalia shivered, not because of the kiss. She shivered, because she felt a tremble of desperate desire shaking in the woman she held. She shivered, and not from fear of an unbreakable, captive chain pulling her from the sky, but because fire holds…

Light.

Lightly.

Delightfully.

Fire holds delight.


	19. Ch 19 Who thinks Tara is guilty?

_A chilling twist! I wonder if I can pull this off?_

_But with Epona and Tara on the case, things get done!_

_Hmm but as I write, the dream dreams itself._

* * *

The courtroom was more packed then it had been in the morning, more people seemed to have heard of the drama that was unfolding there. Adalia still sat at the back, and ignored anyway questions sent her way by the small crowd. Epona and Avon stood before the Magistrate, while Tara and Alexandre sat. Simple wooden chairs were the norm, and only the Magistrate had a table for his effects. Epona was arguing her case, her hands as if she sculpting something invisible in the air only she could feel.

Tara seethed silently. _Look at her go, yapping away, telling them I'm some tame dog of hers._ Epona was speaking as best she could to the judge. Despite her lack of formal training, she spoke the way only a dinner-table-educated Romusi noble would, using expressions she had heard and rhetoric she had gleaned from the her years of being at the bottom of the top of the Romusi pile. "Magistrate, this soldier has honourably served Romulus for many years before beginning her current life. Proof of this is easily obtained: Tara can answer any question on the minutiae of daily life for a legionnaire, as well as that of the navy. She can describe many actions in which she saved the lives of our people." _Heroics? Hah. I saved some Romusi trying to get fat off slavery and war. Rebellions happened almost as much as wars in this paradise they want to make out of the world._

Tara frowned. _Nothing wrong with slavery! It's how I got to where I am!_ But the memory of those shuffling lines and miserable faces swam before her._ But I always let mine go… my servants, my washerwomen… my bedwarmers…_ _Is it different because I do it? Hypocrite._ _The women I had claimed… I offered them a clear choice: my bed and my kitchen, or a trip to the slavemarket. _Life was not going to let Tara join it, if it had a choice; she had to make a place for herself. _I fought, and I got what I earned! I let them go free when I was done. I could have sold them!_ _Why do I feel so much guilt? What am I missing?_

Tara grimaced… and her eyes drifted to Epona. _My newest… slave. Will I let her go too? Like the others? _ Epona seemed filled with some strange determination, and was methodically and patiently hammering Tara's life story into the appearance of something "moral and just" in the eyes of the magistrate. _So, I guess this is the icy, obsessive Epona she thinks is such big deal._ If anything, Epona seemed more compelling now; her posture and words all seemed designed to call to action_. So this is her worst? So let's see: we have soft Epona, goofy Epona, crazy-in-bed Epona, totally crazy Epona, sad Epona and now icy Epona? Yikes. What'll it be next week? Will she change her mind about everything?_

_Things… are different with her… she… wants this. _

_Me._ _She wants me._

Strangely, even as Tara's guilt lessened, her unease kept growing._ What am I missing? She's mine. But did I earn her?_ The question surged into Tara's mind like an iceberg out of water. She had claimed Epona's body, but what of the rest?

_I never romanced her, did I? I kind of just… took. And do I even want to keep her?_

"The opposing counsel seems to know little of the workings of the Legions. To accuse Tara of desertion is patently false. Tara, as a Legion auxiliary, is not bound by the same laws that govern citizen service in the legions. An auxiliary may serve in as little as one battle to fulfill her duty. Some do even less, and simply garrison our towns and guard our roads. Once her battles complete, Tara returned home with the honours she had been given, and the Legion continued to another land."

_I'm not pretty. She would never look at me twice. Cute girls would never chase me the way I chase them. Not unless I just grabbed them. I never seduced Epona; I just told her how it would be between us._

_And she wants it so much I can't believe it._

"The opposing counsel would rather attack my credibility instead of my arguments? Very well. My travels with the defendant are more than mere happenstance, true enough. A raid attacked a town my journey had taken me to. It was a terrible thing, and a terrible crime. My escort was slain, I had been captured and was destined for slavery, and doubtlessly the bed of some crass barbarian lord. Seeing me in such dire straits, Tara was so moved that she purchased my freedom, on the spot, and I now journey with her to Roma, where my family awaits. I am not her 'contact' whatever such a thing may be. I have better things to do, namely: find a proper reward for the bravest woman I've ever met." Epona smiled at Tara, and her cool mask melted away, as if she were before a soft fire.

_Purchased her freedom? Her family is waiting in Roma? _Tara felt her stomach tighten painfully. _No, I can't let her meet them. They'll spend all their time telling her how worthless I am. How can she choose me over life with them? Running around woods is all fun and games, but all we need is one bad week where we can't eat anything but stale bread and twigs, and Epona will run back to them._ Epona was still smiling. "It'll be ok Tara, don't worry. Magistrate Aldin can see you're a good…" Epona seemed to falter a bit, and seemed to be searching for a word "…friend. A very good friend." The words carried an undercurrent of heat. _Gods damn it, why does she have to love me so much? I only wanted a cute girl! Someone who could cook for me, and warm my bed at night. Someone I could _make_ love me, because Cupid never seems to have a very good aim when my turn comes up._ Tara almost laughed bitterly. It was better than crying, at least. Epona seemed to mistake it for something more positive, and turned back to her task.

_I can't let go of her. But I can't tell her… that… about how I feel. If she stays, she stays, and if she leaves, she leaves. Once we're in Roma, well, all she has to do is turn a corner, and get lost in the crowd. No tears and no accusations._ Tara felt her emotions ease. _Hrmm… she may be sensitive but Epona is incredibly blind about a lot of things, I'll probably have to spell it out in big bold letters. _

"Tara has brought proof that dealings of an unsavoury nature take place at Alexandre's tannery. Whether or not he is guilty is not something clear, but neither is Tara's guilt in this matter. Yes, she travels alone, but if Tara is a trafficker, then _why_ would she draw attention to herself? If she is a trafficker, why even turn to the Law? She has no reason to. When Adalia asked her for help, Tara did so. As with me, months ago, she simply tried to do what was right, with what she had. Finally, Tara herself knows better than anyone here that attacking a town so close to Roma would invite swift reprisals, even for a small band of raiders. As it stands, one person is presenting a fact, and intends to leave town as soon as she can, while another is accusing that person of plotting to destroy that town. And yet, she has no army. The simple truth is: Gregor has uncovered these substances that should not exist, and, while blaming an outsider for these troubles is easy to do, it will not change the fact that they exist here."

Avon didn't seem to be enjoying himself quite as much as he had before, and his eyes vibrated almost uncontrollably. _Some sort of mind disease? Or worse? I hope it isn't a possession._ A mortal being ridden by a spirit or a demon could be a very dangerous foe, and very difficult to predict. Avon was almost cadaverously gaunt, stretched and intense, but also strangely happy. _Seems like a good candidate for something strange_. _If it is possession, Avon is clearly not a goodly spirit. So… how do I know which one it is? A demon will be hungry for something no one wants to give up. Simple sickness means he's just a sneaky bastard_. He scrupulously avoided looking at Tara, keeping his eyes on the floor as he spoke. "Nothing is being proven by all this, and if the barbarian and her companion are willing to be escorted away from our town, we can deal with this trouble ourselves. I'm sure these two have _profited_ from our generosity, and are happy enough to leave now." He gave Tara a brief glance. _Heh. He gave me a giant bag of illicit goodies to plant at Alexandre's, and he knows I'm a raider. Guess he thinks I had my fill first. _

_Demon or not, a bribe means I make him nervous._

_And now he's giving up? He's happy just having spooked Alexandre, and now he doesn't want to face Epona and Adalia in here. Too bad he got me interested in more than sweetleaf now! Ok, I'm not a fool. What would he be after? The reward he wanted from Alexandre "was more work." What does that mean? He helped Alexandre the tanner get elected mayor, letting him leave his rotten job, then he got a drinking den with him, and always made sure everyone in town had a good time… and now… he's a schoolteacher._ Tara felt a chill at that thought. _A hungry demon in a school. Wait! I told Gregor about the trafficking last night. He would have thought of this right away, and gone to speak to the children. Did he find something? If so, did something happen to him? I have to find him_

Naturally, anyone teaching to children had to be scrupulously normal, to the point of boredom, in fact. _A small town like this has no secrets. It's out in the open, but it isn't obvious. Either they don't realise what he's taking from them, or… they do know, and agreed to it. A demon might want blood, or something carnal_

Epona leaned in to Tara, and excitedly whispered: "He gave up! We can go now!" Tara looked askance at the magistrate, who was frowning at them all. "I see. So this is a strange case of happenstance that disappears just as quickly as the two who brought it to me. Well, I don't live here either, although I am pleased to see that Roma's laws have found root here, I find that it has not yet borne fruit. The two of you will stay for another day at least, until the truth of the matter is put to light and peace returns. For now, I will interrogate Tara on her knowledge of the Legions. Just to be safe, you see. But before that, which settlement did you say you had been in Epona?"

A short interrogation followed, and Tara answers on the minutiae of daily life satisfied the magistrate, himself a veteran of many campaigns. To Epona, he asked a few questions on life at Roma, to which the girl had no answer. "I was born in the provinces of Argonia sire. I now hope to see the splendours of Roma with Tara at my side, and speak to my family… I… don't know anything about them." With that things seemed close to conclusion. Tara felt a relaxing feeling soothing here. Justice had turned it's eye on her, and passed by.

From the far end of the room, Adalia advanced respectfully. "You're Honor, what of my case? Will I be heard today?" The old man hesitated before speaking: "This is rather difficult to say. Have you spoken with Alexandre? What would your parents say of this? This matter should be between yourselves, the courts have no place in it." Adalia stood straight and calm. "My dowry must be returned to me. Alexandre was to build an inn with it, but has created a concert hall instead, where he now spends his time away from me. This is not the life I was promised at my wedding; he has shown me _no loyalty_. This is a question of money, not of family, and is appropriate for the court."

Alexandre surged up, his face red and his eyes violent. "You liar! _Liar! _Adalia, I love you! The town already has an inn! So I made something better!" Adalia's face softened with sadness. "And you gave it to Avon, who's done something _horrible_, but no one seems to know what it is. But I think you know, but you can't bear to think about it." Alexandre made a slashing motion through the air. "No! All this is, it's just your jealousy! Avon is peculiar, but no more so than anyone else." Adalia seemed close to losing her cool then, "Then why can you barely walk after your nights at these concerts? I know you love music, but can't you see it's become something else? You aren't the man I thought you were, and now I want to be free. That's all. Alexandre, we're too different: you love these hills and these trees, but you know that I need something else." Tension filled the room, the magistrate

With lidded eyes, Tara considered Avon. He had finally lost his smile. _This is something he doesn't want to have happen, does it? These two know him better than anyone._ Tara stood up. "Peculiar how?" Alexandre eyed her with irritation. "He likes collecting empty bottles at the inn. That's all!" Avon sighed theatrically. "Why do I keep coming up in this? Adalia my dear, I know you want something incredible to happen to you, but wealth doesn't just happen! It takes work. So you make sure everyone gives the tannery their chamberpots, so what, is being the most important washerwoman in town really so bad? This is a hard working town, and we all know what it takes to survive. How can you just run off, and take Alexandre's money? You spent half the time talking to people." Adalia raised her chin up. "The money he used belongs to me. I own that concert hall, and I intend to clean it, and sell it." Avon grinned, his face stretching like leather. "Sell it to whom?"

Epona chirped in. "Adalia's marriage is a contract, one that Alexandre did not do enough to fulfill." At this Aldin stirred uneasily. "Her marriage is a vow to the Gods. To renounce it is to defy the Gods and their law." Epona inclined her head respectfully. "Yes. But do those same gods not comport themselves in a very different manner? My own line traces back to Venus, whose passion is such that her marriage to Vulcan fails, and she then chooses Mars? Can we not follow my ancestor's precedent in this matter?" Aldin harrumphed loudly. "Young lady, we are _not_ gods, we are their children. We follow the Holy Scriptures placed down by the Gods, because we are mortals. They do not need to follow those directives."

Epona's tone was mildly curious. "Why not?" Aldin seemed at a loss. "Because… because it is blasphemy to do so!" Epona folded her hands before herself demurely. "Is it? Are you claiming to be able to decide for Venus who she should bed? If Adalia cannot leave Alexandre, her life will be in danger: should she find another love, Alexandre could justify further violence with marriage vow. Is that the purpose the gods had for marriage?" Aldin shook his head. "Enough! I am not a priest." He turned back to Adalia. "Do you love Alexandre?" The blue eyed woman glanced at Tara briefly and then shook her head. "No." Aldin sighed sadly. "Then I will accept your divorce. I'm sorry Alexandre. We shall see how this unfolds. Both of you begin preparing your affairs: I wish to see a list of everything each of you brought to this union and what was created during the…" The Magistrate paused and briefly frowned at Epona, "your partnership." The crowd began murmuring excitedly. Adalia lowered her head and exhaled, tension leaving her. Alexandre's face was mottled with fury, while Avon had finally regained his small smile.

Tara grinned at Avon, and made a small, but very obvious, rude gesture. His vibrating eyes glittered venomously for a split second. Epona lightly touched her elbow, and Tara's triumphant smile ebbed slightly into a warmer look as she turned to her little slave.

"Let's get out of here Epona. Adalia, wanna tag along?" The sandy-haired woman nodded tiredly. They walked out of the building. A few people had gathered to chat about the proceedings, but Tara ignored them, and headed straight for the nearest trees. For many minutes, they walked in pleasant silence, until they found the small river every settlement was founded upon. Tara happily knelt beside it, and cupped some cold water in her palms, slurping noisily. Epona seemed about to imitate her, when Tara fixed her with a frown. "A lady does not kneel in the mud and rocks beside a river, Epona, and besides, it's too cold for your soft hands." Epona seemed at a loss. "Ma'am? What… should I do? I'm so thirsty." Tara smiled easily. "Just relax, and enjoy the fine service you get on this vacation." Tara cupped some cold water once more, and held it for a moment or so. "Not too cold now! Now… here we go…" Epona clasped her hands together and sat on her side, legs tucked in. She leaned forward, her lips parted. From the chalice of her hands, she let it dribble to the slender girl's lips. Epona's tongue flickered against the warrior's fingers, far more than was needed. Tara's hands were too cold to enjoy it, really, but the glow in Epona's eyes was otherworldly. _Totally worth it._ "So… would you really prefer wine right now Epona? Or this?" Tara's voice was a low purr, almost a rumble.

Epona trembled a bit, and her only response was a short hum. _Made her lose her words, but they'll be back. So totally worth it._ Tara pressed her hands into her sides for warmth, grinning happily. "Hey Adalia! Can I serve you something too?" Epona drew back suddenly, and Tara almost groaned. _She's going to be all moody and jealous again, damn it._ Epona considered Adalia with a closed expression for a moment or so, before looking away. "I'm sorry. It's ok, Tara, you're right. A lady should always be proper and polite. I forget that sometimes." The sandy haired woman still seemed uncertain. Epona addressed her. "I'm sorry Adalia, it's ok. Really." Epona gave Adalia a smile. "Have some water. It's… delicious."

Tara's hands were warmed by then. Adalia settle down beside Tara, close to Epona, her legs folded beneath herself, and her back straight. She closed her eyes. _Hmm, that looks just like the pose in that book she had. What was it? Warrior-sit or something?_ Tara scooped the clear water up, and once more waited for it to warm a bit. She lightly pressed it against the sunhaired woman's lips. Adalia didn't have the same… _thirst_… Epona had, but given recent events that was understandable. Her eyes remained closed as she drank. Much of the water rained down, but Adalia had her hands cupped below, catching the droplets. When Tara drew her hands back, the woman brought her cupped hands to her face, and lightly scrubbed her face with wet hands. Adalia's hands fell to her lap, and she began drawing deep, calming breaths. After a moment, her frown lines eased. Tara considered her with astonishment. Reaching such calm after the madness of the past week was impressive, and after a _divorce_ no less.

A large, flat rock, having been in the sun all day, was warm enough to be a seat. Tara pulled Epona up and went to sit on it. _It's the little things that count… things like this._ She settled the girl in her lap, and hungrily sought the girl's receptive, soft lips. Epona returned what she received, and the intensity quickly grew into an almost bruising kiss. Tara pulled back slowly, both their breathing heavy. Epona settled her head against the woman's powerful shoulder, and breathed in much the same way Adalia had just done. "You did good Epona, you may be skinny like a starved boy, but you've got a hell of a punch…._c'm here again…_ Mmmhmm… _tasty_…. Not that I would ever do things like this to a boy!" Epona stirred uneasily. "Ma'am please… don't…. don't…say…" She seemed to be blinking back tears. "Don't say that. Don't say that I'm a skinny boy. It hurts when you say it, and I don't know why." Tara gasped in surprise. "It's a complement! I would love to have your legs and hips!" Epona nodded, more happily. "I didn't know that! I'm sorry."

"You did good Epona." Strangely, Epona still didn't seem happy. "This is only part of the fight, Adalia still needs her share." Tara shook her head, chuckling. "Just relax. You're on vacation for a little while!" Epona stared at Tara, her mouth slowly opening. "I'm on vacation." Epona inclined her head to the side, as if pondering some strange puzzle. "I've never been on vacation. I'm always busy." Tara raised her eyebrows with a wry grin. "So? It's all fine food and wine from now till the end of it!" Epona leaned her head back and some sort of peace seemed to settle lightly upon her, like a blanket. "I always had something or someone chasing me Tara. This is the first time… I've ever… been on vacation. Oh, ma'am! As soon as we get the chance, I'm going to do terrible, _terrible_ things to you. I shouldn't think about such terrible things. I'm so sorry! "

Tara wiggled her eyebrows a bit more! "Just remember, I'll be doing those same things right back at you." 

_Unless she makes me faint with pleasure first… but she doesn't need to hear that!_

Epona paused for a moment, and savoured the strange feeling she felt. "Tara… I never told you what my middle name is, have I?" Tara blinked. "I didn't think you had one." Epona nodded, her eyes falling to the floor as she considered something.

"My surname means "_given to the god_", but you know that. My middle name is _Maxime Olivia_: the Greatest Peace." Tara absorbed this silently._ Huh. Her parents really laid it on a bit strong. _ Tara considered recent thoughts she had had on the subject of worthiness. "You know, I'm told that in Greece, champions and brides would wear Olive wreaths in their hair." Epona hesitated a bit, and then raised a hand to run it through Tara's hair. "It's too bad we don't have any olive trees around here Tara. I bet I could try and fix you something nice." Tara chuckled. "So your first idea while on vacation is to go gardening and fix my hair? You need to do something special!" Epona gave a mock grimace of disgust. "Just because I'm on vacation doesn't mean I have to stop doing what I love!" Tara rolled her eyes. "So to you, Epona Maxime Olivia, a vacation means you do exactly what you did before. Nothing changes."

Yet the sneaky Epona had her reply ready: "You're what makes all this special Tara. When you say you like me, well, I just feel so good, and, besides, in the end, didn't Venus choose Ares over Vulcan?" Epona smiled up at Tara, and her eyes drifted up and to the side, a tell tale sign she was about to say something impossibly ridiculous… that may or may not be true. "Say Tara! Ares is your dad right? And Venus is like my great-grandma! Our ancestors aren't married, but that doesn't stop them from having a lot of fun together!" Tara shook her head in bemusement. Epona dramatically paused, and seemed to think some more, taping her index on her chin. "But, that legend is pretty old. Nowadays, they might be married, you know! We might be sisters now! Or do we count as kissing cousins?"

Tara stared at the girl, trying to keep her gaze steady. "Sisters. You and me. _Us_." Epona's head bounced up and down in a happy agreement.

Adalia seemed to stir a bit. "Closed eyes don't mean I'm asleep you know."

Epona squeaked in mock panic! "Oh wow! Tara, we are in _so much_ trouble right now!"

Tara burst out laughing.


	20. Ch 20 Cooky cookies & delicious Caramel

_I read Conqueror 4!_

_I had written the first few paragraphs of this before I read it… so… umm… ^_^_

…_I'm glad I had chocolate at hand when I did! I was too embarrassed to mention my favourite part. So good. =d_

_Today's recipie: Caramelised Vietnamese Pork!_

_It is delicious._

* * *

Epona looked at herself in the mirror. She inhaled, puffing her chest out, and looked at the results. She held her breath as she considered her breasts. _I like them like this. _She exhaled_. Girls who run a lot look like this._ _Like me._ _Appearance is something I don't even give a single fig about. How it feels is all that matters. If it feels good, then I like it. If it _feels_ beautiful, I love it. But now… I'm not the only I want to like my body. _She placed her hand against the mirror, staring into it. Feeling strangely confused, she leaned in to kiss her reflection. The burnished bronze was cold on her lips. _What makes a girl beautiful? Is it perfection or vanity that I want? I'm not some wispy piece of fluff…_

_Speed and skill. _

_That's what I want, and health alone should make me beautiful. I'm okay like this! I am! Love is blind! _And yet, something niggled at her thoughts._ I'm… glad I'm not hairy. I'm glad I don't have huge round shoulders and arms, like one of those gorillas I hear the circus has. I'm glad my legs are better than my arms. I'm glad I have big, pouty lips. But I love being fast. Being strong feels right. I don't spend much time thinking about clothes. What does that mean about me?_ Dwelling on that thought felt… dangerous. _What am I?_

Epona was, without a doubt, a hedonist. The philosophy of Stoicism that held favour in Roma did not appeal to her in the slightest._ They made a virtue of the worst parts of life! Why can't I enjoy work and play? Both are good! But… who am I?_ _Time. Hard problems take time. I'll just follow this feeling… and see how far it goes. I'll try not to think about it too much, and just enjoy myself._ But pure, bodily pleasure wasn't something very appealing either.

_But what happens when I can't have what would please me the most? What if I didn't have Tara? Then I would turn inward, like so many of the greats, wouldn't I? I would try and find the great ocean…_

Epona felt a slow smile come to her, unbidden. _But I have her. She's mine, I know it! She loves me! The greatest woman I've ever met!_ Epona almost felt like bursting into song!But before that, she had far more pleasant pursuits to consider. _I have to cook something special for tonight… Something that will tingle on Tara's tongue._ There was no sea food here, but they had other fare. _Caramelised Pork! The dish of a true hedonist. Tara will love it. I need sugar for caramel, vegetables and rice on the side, pork… and fish sauce!_

Caramel was easy. Epona measured two cups of white sugar, and placed it in the bottom of a large thin pan. She added half a cup of water. On a medium-low heat, she heated the mixture. The sugar dissolved, first into a white, sticky substance, and then it began to darken. Epona frowned. The white sugar was making a crust, rather than a liquid. _Wrong pan, I need something with more metal._ With grumble or two, she flung the burned sugar out of the thin pan, and took a large pot. When it was slightly tinged red, Epona readied herself. She opened the window, and measured a cup of fish sauce. It was deeply unpopular in Roma, some even viewed it as unclean... for reasons she was about to demonstrate! She had almost wanted to figure a way to prank Tara into cooking the dish… _next time maybe!_

_FOR TARA!_

She added the fish sauce to the caramel!

A great cloud of smelly steam boiled up. It smelt the sea. Epona clamped a hand over her nose. _It won't taste anything like it smells, thank the gods! It'll be delicious!_ Adalia opened the kitchen door. "What's that smell? What are you doing in here?" Epona grinned evilly. "Cooking supper! Fish sauce!" Adalia looked on in horror while Epona cackled, and she closed the door while shaking her head. Epona added some onions, to mitigate the sweetness of the caramel._ Now it needs to simmer for all most an hour or a bit more. Maybe some rice and steamed broccoli with it? _She set about doing exactly that!

Cooking was a sensual, sensory experience, and helped to awaken her senses. Senses that Tara would soon enjoy heightening further… _Why am I so nervous this time? We… pleased… each other many times before. She's the mistress... if she wants me, she has me._ _But do I have to be the one waiting? _Epona washed a piece of broccoli, idly pondering what would soon happen. _What if… I was the mistress? How would things be then?_ The thought was strangely pleasing. _I could make her do what I want!_ _But how? She's stronger than me._ Epona's hand drifted down to her leg, where Tara had concealed the collar she had once had around her neck. _Speed… and skill…_

_Well… I could just ask her nicely! _

O=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=O

Tara swore, banging her hand on the table. "What do you mean, '_he doesn't seem to have done anything,'_ he's clearly the mastermind behind all this!" Tara waved a hand at the drugs and poisons scattered on the table beside her. Gregor shrugged casually. "None of the children claimed to have been touched, none say they seem him go off alone with a particular student, and all their parents claim he never meets them after school. What more can I do?" Tara frowned at him. "Did they mention if he ever takes something of theirs? Something he needs every week or month? Something he never gives back?" Gregor shook his head.

Tara grunted. "So. I'll head home then." Gregor inclined his head to his side. "So. Adalia… is with you now, I take it? Like that Epona of yours." Tara faced him without emotion, and answered calmly. "She needs someone to help her out, and I don't mind helping." Gregor eyed her with open suspicion. "Freely?" Tara nodded curtly. Gregor's critical tone continued. "And you're certain Avon is the head trafficker in town?" Tara nodded again. "So… I hear you're bringing this Epona back to her family. Yet you also found the time to interrogate a smuggler, who told you about Avon, and all his dealings with him." Tara shrugged in answer. "Avon is the one who controls all this, and I want to help Adalia. That's the simple truth and anything else is detail. He might come after us now that we've spoken to the kids." Tara spread her hands, encompassing the table and its chemicals.

Gregor waved a heavy, veined hand in dismissal. "No one is attacking anyone in my town. Not Avon, not Alexandre... and not you, Tara. Now please, return to Adalia… and help her. She did for people's spirits what I did for their bodies." Tara raised her chin slightly, starring at him coldly. "Watch yourself if you try and go after Avon, Gregor. He's more dangerous than anything you've met, and he doesn't fight with swords. Try and speak to Alexandre about him." Tara spun on her heel and stalked out. Gregor's gaze fell to the table in front of him, and the jars and packages spread there.

O=o=o=o=o=o=o=o==o=o=O

Epona let her thoughts drift to Tara as peered at the steaming vegetables. She felt that strange, almost ever present tingling surge strongly. _I'm in love with her. I'm mad and in love. I'm madly in love. Oh, Tara. Oh, Tara! My happy fire! My solid earth!_ Epona took a few dancing steps away from the stove, and plunked down onto a chair. She coiled into a tight ball, knees to her chest, feeling excitement surging up and down her body like lighting dancing in the clouds. _Ah!_ Sensual force coiled in her belly and her chest, building. Epona's breath sped up. _Ohtara, Oh Taraoohh… oh… Please Tara… Tara, please… _Epona ran her hands up and down her smooth legs, and tried to think of what she would try and do to Tara when she saw her next!

_I'll start with a kiss! No! It has to be something better than a kiss! What's better than a kiss? Arg! Nothing is! Ok, I can't reinvent the wheel. Wait, what… ummm… a dance? For Tara? I could dance for her, like the women do in those bars she keeps trying to take me to! Alright! I'll need some practice._ "Hey, Adalia! Come here!" The blue eyed woman walked in. Her home was fairly large, and mimicked many Romusi styles in its setting: six rooms, a kitchen, and a large living room, and a modern bathing room. It had no statues for her ancestors or gods however. "Epona?" Epona waved her hand at a chair. "Sit down! I need to practice this, and you have to tell me if it's good!" Puzzled, the woman sat down. "What're... are… you…" The woman's mouth fell open as Epona began to move. Her eyes almost popped from her head.

Laughter exploded into the room!

The sunhaired woman was doubled over in laughter, and Epona faced her with her face that was very, very red. At long last, Adalia managed to form some words: "What… _heeeee!_ In the name of the gods was _that?_" Epona shrugged sheepishly. "I want to dance for Tara later. But… maybe I won't?" Adalia shook her head, suddenly chagrined! "No, no! You have to do that again! And wiggle your bum more this time!" Epona hesitated, and took a few stumbling step. Adalia bounced up and clapped her hands once. "Come on Epona! Think of Tara and then try moving."

_Think of Tara? _Epona found herself slowing down, and gently… oh so wonderfully… ran her hands slowly up and down her body. She felt her sensuality enveloped her, surging and beating with the movement of her heart and feet, and her dance began to flow more easily. More lightly.

The curly haired girl ran her hands lightly over her breasts, and saw two small circles snap and explode in her vision. Epona threw her head back, as if she were a beautiful, long haired nymph in her bath. She _gasped, _and threw her head back, closing her eyes, and arching her back, shivering. She opened her eyes slowly. She was standing on one foot and the toe of the other only lightly touched the ground. _I feel like I can fly._

Adalia stared, and swallowed.

"Err… yes. Like that Epona. Try… _ahem…_ try and do that for Tara." Epona looked at Adalia, her eyes dark with passion. "I don't want to be with you, Adalia. You're wonderful, but Tara is the only girl I want now. But… if you want to watch me and Tara tonight, I think I would like that. I know you love Tara. So do I. And after I've had her… she can have you." Adalia nodded uncertainly. "If… you think that… well, this is very strange! You're… a bit… strange… Epona. This world… it's made for two. Two things. Light and dark. Not three." Epona felt her desire burning around herself, a wildfire across her skin, and it made her voice vibrate in the strangest of ways as she addressed the sunhaired woman.

"You've taught yourself how to find peace with your body, but I also think you've taught yourself to separate some emotions from your mind and pretend they don't exist. Sometimes, you have to confront them. I've taught myself to feel pleasure, and pushed away all my anger. Now I need to push my fear away. I'm not sure how to do that. Maybe I need to feel love to do it... I'll make you stuffed peppers tonight. No meat. A… friend… can give you pleasure too, even if they aren't destined for each other."

Adalia stared at Epona wordlessly. Hesitantly, she nodded. "I'll watch." Her voice was soft.

"Well, why not? The more love, the better."

O=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=O

Tara knocked on the door twice, and opened it. The smell of supper came to her notice. _Hey, what is that? Is it… pork?_ "Hey, Epona! What's cooking? Ermm…" Epona stood in the doorway to the kitchen, and, slouching indolently, placed a hand on her hip and the other against the doorway, her body curving to emphasise her curves. She wore nothing but a long scarf she had wrapped around her hips. Long legs, and her bare, rosy breasts, leaped to Tara's eyes. _Like one of those Egyptian girls, but pink!_ Tara eyes focused on the slave collar now fastened around Epona's leg.

The warrior felt a sudden pulse of desire throb sharply.

"How was your day Tara?" Tara slowly grinned, a large goofy smile she couldn't do anything to stop. "It's really, really good." Epona smiled knowingly, and turned to walk away, one foot in front of the other, her hips swaying seductively. "Go wash up a bit, and I'll serve you a plate, and you can tell me all about it."

Tara walked a step or two, turned her head to make sure she wasn't watched, and dashed to the washroom.

O=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=O

Epona stared at her pork worriedly. She had wrapped a light shawl around herself. _Is it supposed to be red? It should be black! Maybe I needed more fish sauce? Did I remove enough fat from the pork? And where did all the onions go!? Did they melt?_ She had improvised some mushrooms cooked in butter and olive oil, with some slightly cooked spinach, added once the mushrooms had done cooking. She had added a bell pepper, uncooked, for crunch and color. _Not bad, butter and spinach can work together, but not alone_. Tara's mouth bulged like a hamster as she ate. "S'good!" _Oh, my sweet, solid barbarian_. _Well… ok. I need an impartial opinion._ Epona turned to Adalia, across the table. She was eating as well, if somewhat more calmly. She avoided looking at semi-naked Epona, and her eyes held a slightly glazed look to them. "Yes. You are a good cook. A bit too salty, maybe." Epona nodded with a sigh. "It's about balancing saltiness, sweetness and spiciness with these dishes. I needed more black pepper, not less salt." Adalia didn't respond.

Tara chuckled a bit, and eyed them both with amusement. "So you both cooked together?" Epona shrugged and gave Adalia a happy smile. "Nope! But I know Adalia wants to give you her cookies after supper! She makes them fluffy and light, like puffs of air and sunlight." Adalia raised her eyes to Tara. "I'm not sure… Tara will be hungry enough." Tara grinned, leaned back, and cheerfully unclasped her belt. "I've starved all day! Plenty of room!" Adalia dropped her fork and grabbed her cup of water. Epona felt a slight twinge of sadness at seeing the woman so discomfit. _She's so conservative! I wonder if Tara understands how overwhelmed she must feel sometimes._ "Would you like some wine Adalia? It's… not right or wrong to just enjoy some things, sometimes. It's even alright to chase after them, as long as you let a piece of yourself remember… to find peace as you run." The blue eyes focused on Epona. "As long as I remember… Thank you for the stuffed peppers. And yes, if you want Tara, after you're done eating Epona's… dish. You can have some cookies I made. I'd like a glass of wine now, thank you."

O=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=O

Epona had only lightly snacked on her meal. _I can eat it all later. After I'm done with Tara, before she falls asleep._ The redheaded woman chrashed on the bed. "Ouf! Oh, Bacchus' belly, I'm so full!" Epona felt a warm glow rise within herself. _Venus rising out of the waves. _She placed a foot before herself. "Not too full I hope?" Her tone was slightly playful as walked to the candles beside the bed. Tara raised herself on her elbows. "Mmmhmm? You want something?" Epona raised her head slightly. "You know what I want." Tara fell back to the bed with a chuckle. "Oh, I do Epona, I do. But I like when you beg." Epona let her shawl fall to the floor, and gave the red haired woman a dark look.

Epona swayed a step or two towards the bed, and placed a foot between Tara's legs. "I'm not begging, Tara. I'm not taking either. Tonight, you're giving." Epona placed both hands on the collar around her leg, pushing the cruel band downwards. It gave suddenly, and slipped to her foot. Tara's eyes sharpened dangerously for a moment, her eyes on the metal band. Epona's nose flared sharply, a challenge. The warrior chuckled wryly suddenly, falling back to the bed. Epona was not deterred by this either. "Tara, my Queen. Tonight, you have a crown. Or is it a torque?" Tara frowned. "I am _not_ wearing that _beag luch_."

Epona leaned down, climbing onto the bed on all fours, catlike. When the girl was face to face with Tara, she looked into her brown eyes for a long moment or two. "Of course not! That's not your Crown, Tara. This is." Epona leaned in, and softly placed a wet kiss on Tara's forehead. "Even if no one but you can feel it." The warrior's lips parted slightly, sudden emotion loosening her grim mask.

Epona planted her hands on either side of Tara's head, and raised her rump, almost exactly like a cat. She pushed herself with her hands, making a perfect, upside down _**V**_ above Tara, her head down. Tara noticed the muscular back the slender girl had. Epona held the pose for a moment, and eased herself down, into a another catlike pose, a _**J**_ placed on its side, her belly pressing into Tara's, and her head lifting back… her back arching back… almost painfully… pushing her bottom half… into Tara…

The warrior made a low, pleased sound. Epona abruptly pushed herself back, breaking the connection. "Hmm… _Oh_, _ma douce, juteuse_ Tara… I almost got carried away! So… I'll tell you why tonight… you will do… Every. Little. Thing. I tell you to do." Tara pressed her tongue against her lips, and her voice was hoarse as she spoke. "Why?" Epona half stood, her knee on the bed and one foot on the floor. "Because... I can make it so good for you Tara. I know what you need. All those thrusts and complicated kisses… mmhmm I _like_ that… but what I think you need… is sweet. What your missing, is something wet. You _will_ wear my Crown, my Queen, and many, many others. So that's why, even if your stronger, you'll do everything I tell you to do. Because... I'll make you feel so good you won't be able to tell me no, ever again. But before you decide…" Epona couldn't help swallowing nervously. "Please… Enjoy me being water and steam, the same way I enjoy you being… solid and earthy… and filled with _fire!_"

Epona pushed herself of the bed. _I can do this._ She placed one foot poised before the other, and grasped her long red scarf. She raised her hands slowly, closing her eyes as she did. _This would be a good time to say some poetry, wouldn't it? _

_Sweet steel flower  
Let me guide you this hour  
And, in this hour of need  
Please…  
Let me dazzle you with steam!_

Epona opened her eyes slowly, and began to dance her slow dance. She turned her back on Tara, swaying, legs stiff and back arching.

_I move! _

_I breathe. _

_I move. _

_I breathe!_

Epona knew, many, many others could dance more gracefully… but so many couldn't do _emotion_ when they moved. Some even seemed to need to go to _school_ for such things! _Such strangeness in the world!_ The curly haired girl settled into original pose, one foot poised before the other.

_But not me._ _Or so_ _I hope!_

Tara watched her, somewhat bemused and somewhat mesmerized. Epona walked to the bed, and leaned in, lightly snuggling in between Tara's legs. "Did you like it?" Tara's voice was rough. "The bit with the scarf was good. Very intriguing!" Epona smiled happily, and felt her hammering heart start to slow. _What should I do now? _She had a good idea, but before she could say another thing, Tara suddenly grasped her by the hair! Epona went still in surprise. Tara playfully chuckled, letting her know she wasn't in trouble. The warrior pulled the girl's hair slightly, making her crawl until she was above Tara.

Epona was expecting a kiss… when Tara's mouth closed around her nipple! Epona inhaled sharply. The warrior closed her hands around the girl's back, softly. Epona felt light teeth nipping slightly. _No!_ The woman's wet mouth began to lightly tug at her. _S-she's suckling me like a baby! Oh!_ "No… no… _I can't_… Not me… _not_ _me_… _I can't… I'm not!_" Tara ignored her, and went to the other rosy bud. Tara's latent anger had evaporated… but that didn't explain why Epona gasped and quivered…

The despairing girl tried to pull the woman off of her, but she could only caress the soft hair of her love. _Words…the words…_ _the word_... Epona made sounds, and squeezed her eyes shut; feeling two large tears tumble down her cheeks and fall onto Tara... "_Ooooh_-r_ah! Aïe!_ Oh Tara….oh… oh…_oh…ah… 'ra… Tara… please… please… mange... mange..." _Epona surrendered herself to the pull of her body. Lights, and entire suns, coalesced before her eyes, before fading just as quickly. Her hips took on a trembling life of their own, parting and spasming, Epona desperately grinding herself into Tara. Release, when it came… was…

Strange.

_Good_.

Epona pressed her face into the top of Tara's head, trying not to cry out. Trying not to cry.

Tara released her, with a slurping _pop_. She then lightly pushed on Epona, guiding her into the soft blankets. Epona felt her senses return to her. "No. Tara, stop! Stop." The woman slowed, and fixed her with a ferocious pout. Epona pushed her away a bit. "Tara! Less heat, and more life! Let me… _please_…" The dance spun around, and Tara allowed herself to settle in the blankets. Epona shook herself. Sweat cooled the front of her belly. The woman's eyes were dark as they watched Epona. "So… I do what you want tonight?" Epona nodded with determination. Tara closed her eyes, chuckling. "You sneaky little rodent. Alright… what's your game plan?"

Epona leaned her head to the side, her eyes smoky and hot, her voice a sing-song hum. "Fire can burn and strong stone can crumble… and wet earth… well… it's not pretty, it's not neat. With that, I agree! But… what about honey? That can't be beat! With all your tactics, you've forgotten what this is really about. So, my Queen Bee, make honey for me. Please?"

Tara blinked in puzzlement. "What?" Epona coiled into a ball in between her the warrior's strong legs. "Honey, my Queen. You have it, and I want it. All of it." Epona slipped her hands below each of the woman's knees. "Honey, all for me." She raised the woman's legs up to her waist… and Tara began resisting there. "Hey… wait now." Epona's head darted down, and licked the sweet, tart spot nestled between the warrior's legs. The warrior grunted sharply in response. Epona batted her long eyelashes seductively. "Don't you trust me, ma'am? It's okay, my Queen… why do you think some woman call it 'surrendering your dignity'?"

Epona huffed a small laugh and gave Tara a happy smile. "And any boy you do this too won't be able to look at you in the eyes in the morning, I'm sure! So… why should you do it? Because! Don't you want to feel… the _best_ things? The _softest_ things? So… do what _I_ want you to do! You're so strong, you can stop me with a word, or even a _look_, but you won't, because you can't. Because you want this too…" Tara let Epona push her legs further back… until the warrior's feet pointed to the ceiling!

The warrior made a strange, plaintive growl.

"Because, some people can say no to pleasure… but no one says no to love."

Epona gave her another light, rewarding lick. "So good, my Queen! You're so good right now. Now… this is good for your stomach muscles, you know… look at the way they all bunch up…. Mmm… it's okay, ma'am… it's not meant to be pretty… it's for making honey!"

Epona hungrily began kissing the petals of Tara's rosy red rose… When she found that hard thorn… she lightly tickled it with her tongue… and felt a shudder ripple through her warrior. Epona, the roguish opportunist that she was, happily took the opportunity to push Tara's knees a bit higher! "Mmm…. So much… I can't believe how much honey you've already made… Oh Tara… no… don't move… just think about making honey… _oh_… you can _shout_, ma'am… yes, you can do that too… yes… _yes… like that…_" The warrior closed her eyes, breathing harshly. Her moans had an endearing harshness to them… and a bleak softness…

Epona resumed her tender ministrations, finding wetness wherever her soft tongue travelled… and it travelled… far…_ deep…_ Like any good bee, for her extensive journey, Epona was very well rewarded, as she felt the warrior shudder again. And again! Tara's legs began _moving_ back and forth, easily pushing Epona's hands back as they did! Epona quickly released her ineffectual grasp, and simply began stroking the warrior's undulating stomach, eliciting a sharper louder gasps. The barbarian woman closed her hands around her own breasts, almost protectively, trying to catch the lightning that endlessly blazed up and down her body!

After a sweet, delicious eternity, Tara's bunched muscles began to ease.

Epona released Tara, and began making slow, soothing circles across her body. Tara pressed her palms over her eyes, and was still for many moments. "_Shhh… _it's okay, Tara… it's okay. It is." Tara let her hands fall to her side, and gave Epona a hard look. "_Stop_ _telling me how I should feel!_" Epona said nothing, and simply resumed her slow caresses. _But… I was only telling her to do something, not feel!_ Tara swallowed with some difficulty, some her cool demeanour returning. She shook herself and grinned! "Alright, enough of that, it's your turn!"

And with that, she quickly moved to bury her hands into Epona! Tara clamped her hands over Epona's jaw, and slowly pried them open! Epona did what she always did, and she let herself succumb beneath the power of her lover… Tara thrust her tongue into the girl's eager mouth, delivering a wet, delicious, kiss. _She kisses like a boy sometimes!_ Epona met her invader with all her skills! Sadly, the girl's tongue was, unsurprisingly, very tired by then!

But the conquest had only begun, as Tara's hands expertly found the spot… the same, perfect spot she always found… which quickly moved Epona to a shuddering climax! Tara gave her little slave a moment or two to catch her breath… and began a slower, softer kissing… tender and loving… _Now's she kissing like a girl… oh gods… she's incredible! So good! So perfect! _

Tara brought her slave to another, almost painfully long, crest of pleasure, her hands and tongue stabbing, and Epona… giving.

At last, she released the girl, and moved back to lie on her back, relaxing in a job well done. After a breath or two, she idly began running her hands across her own body… "Hmmm… oh, you're chest is going to sore tomorrow… so why stop now? Hehheh!" Epona cupped her breasts, pouting. "Oh, you evil Ogress!" Tara chortled a bit more!

When her giggles finally calmed, she lightly began running her hands across Epona's body, tickling and caressing. Her hands slowed and soon those tickles became almost tickles became something more. Hmm… say Tara… why don't you go take a bath? I'm… really tired after this week, and you got to rest in prison! Lucky ducky!"

Tara chuckled, somewhat darkly. "Yeah, it's all fun and games in there… so! A bath? It's a bit late to start that now." Epona smiled. "I told Adalia to start one when she started hearing _big_ sounds. She didn't really want to watch us, I guess. She's waiting in the bathtub." Tara started in surprise, before clearing her throat a bit. "Ahem. Yes, well. Damn, I should get in there, shouldn't I?" Epona stuck her tongue out. "Ogress! This is what happens when you chase too many girls! We gang up, and wear you out! Now, come'on and go eat her cookies!"

Tara smiled ruefully. "Hmm, I never thought having too many girls would be this big a problem! Epona… Thank you for the crown."

The warrior marched out of the room… leaving Epona to find her fragrant blankets, at long last. She buried herself in her big bed, making sure to leaving enough room for Tara when she decided wanted to go to sleep. Epona watched the ardent stars for a moment or two before shutting her eyes.

The delicious tale of the dunking of Adalia's cookies, however, is not my glass of milk to spill!


	21. Ch 21 A soar Eagle and a ruffled Hawk

With a soft gasp Epona woke to a delightful, exquisite sensation. She blinked once or twice, and focused. Tara sat on the edge of the bed, and was slowly running the tips of her fingers across the Epona's feet! Epona bit her lip, and stared at her warrior. "Hey. Spend a nice night?" Epona nodded happily. The tingling touch across her feet took on a more playful motion, as Tara traced the arches of Epona's feet. Epona bit her lip. _Oh, my skin feels so different now that I know her. I feel different. I feel… so… so soft! Like I want to cry and laugh at the same time!_

But was she braver? Stronger? Smarter? Was she doing what she had to do? Worthy of Tara? Even worse, she now had an excuse. Something to hide behind.

_A nasty, cursed word!_

_I'm not getting better. But… I'm not like __**him**__! I don't have his disease… just… an inclination. Actually, my mother has it probably. A word. How big and broad is my word. For some, it's a flag, for others, an excuse. A word that fits my life like a glove._ Tara slowly trailed her hands along Epona's legs, lightly digging into her calf muscles and soft circles on the side of her knees. _Dyslexia for human connections. Asperger's syndrome. _

_Oh Tara. I'm blind!_

_But… I have more than two eyes, don't I? And it explains my… strengths and weaknesses. The same… mind-muscles? others use for their studies and work… I have to use on figuring out people. I read them, I compare actions to known patterns, I extrapolate future behaviour, and I guess what they're feeling! It's why I _need_ culture and stories. Like Einstein and Feynman… who see the world from on high… but also that poor bugger who fills bags at the store and stares at his feet all day long and who never talks. Never says a word. _Epona frowned worriedly_. I always knew I was different, even when I was a baby I was different and… and… there's a word for it. So what!? It's not my word! If it helps someone try and understand me, good, if not, well, to the hells with them! Compassion and love cross every border! _

For good or ill, it also meant her senses could be… overwhelmed.

"_Ah!_" Epona gasped, her whole body twisting into a question mark, fingers digging into the bed. Tara had pressed her thumbs into the distracted girl's feet. Her eyes shone with innocent mischief. "What're you thinking about? Something big and dark? I can tell, you know!" Epona smiled wistfully. "How do you know what I'm thinking?" Tara smirked. "Your toes always curl when you're having… a _very_… good time. If there's one thing the Terror of Gaelis demands, it's deliriously happy girl in her bed!" Tara raised her chin up, her expression taking on a defiant cast. "And usually I'm happy if it's just me! But…" at this, she lightly tickled the curly haired girl's sides, making her quiver and laugh! "That list includes _you_. Sometimes. Only when you've been a good, obedient girl, of course!" She playfully wiggled Epona's feet.

_And they say I'm _supposed_ to be clumsy!_ Memories of playing games with other trying surfaced. Or rather, trying to play. Teamwork… wastricky. _But I can dance now! I found my own path to… movement and grace! I have trustworthy opinions on that fact, for multiple sources!_

"You're my mistress Tara! I'll try and do anything you ask!" Tara stuck her tongue out in that adorable manner she had when she was thinking. "Lemme think about it. So… you sore from last night?" Epona shrugged a bit, uneasily. "Only… only at… with… my… _place_." Tara eyes filled with laughter as she purred: "You're _place?_ You mean down _there_?_"_ The warrior's eyes took on a tinge of hunger. Epona swallowed. "Ma'am… it's… sore. I don't know what I want… it's my _place_ and I… and… now… I…" Tara sighed a bit, patting her. "S'ok, _beag luch_. I don't want to hurt you, just make you happy. 'sides! I gotta save something for Adalia!" Epona smiled gratefully. "Thank you Tara… you can be so sweet sometimes!"

A bubbly, mischievous look passed over Epona. "Sooo… Adalia gave you her cookies, I take it?" Tara poked the girl playfully. "My, aren't you the curious rodent? Thinking of chocolate and sweets? Mmm… I think she's thinking about it more seriously. She's… she has a tower, and I gotta climb it. I mean, I like to travel… but I'm scared of the... heights. Do you understand? I've had trouble with them before… _Ahem. _Anyway! Where was I? Oh yes, I was making _you_ wiggle your toes, wasn't I? I was right about…. _Here…_ _Mmm!_"

Epona's toes curled.

Tightly.

_Very _tightly!

Epona smiled, delighted, her eyes closing, the safety of her Tara's arms a blanket warmer than anything she'd ever slept in. The warmth of the bed, the softness of the blankets on her skin! The heat spreading in her limbs! Not a soft tingle, but warm, billowing clouds! Spread by Tara slow, gentle, hungry touch!_ Everything can tingle so good! Oh, those poor boys can't feel anything like this! It's almost sad! _

Thunder peeled suddenly, when a strong hand started rubbing the small of Epona's back. _"So girl… still sore?" _Tara's breath was slow and deep as she growled the words. Epona gasped wordlessly, shaking her head wildly as passions built. Tara's callused hands dug deeply, nails lightly scratching as she raked Epona's hips, the girl's taught legs moving and quivering in fits and starts.

_I don't know! _

_I don't __**know**__! _

_But I feel… _Tara's hands softly brushed against Epona's breasts, and… and it was…_ I wish they were bigger!_ Epona's eyes opened, and she placed her hands on Tara's muscular arms, stilling them. "No! _Wait!_" Tara's form was coiled and taught, and her eyes almost feverish. "Wait for _what?"_ Epona shook her head, trying to breathe through the mists and steams coiling around her senses. She said nothing. Tara huffed a sharp laugh. "Well! Romance… can start now and _finish_ later, can't it? And all the while, you'll be thinking of me all day. Starving. Hungry." She smiled a knowing smile. "Hungry for me."

_Snuggling? For hours? _Epona felt a soft thrill shudder through her. _This… isn't such a bad idea! _

"Feet are almost as sensitive as hands, you know!" Tara's wry grin widened. "Hands, you say?" Epona giggled, and pushed hers beneath her pillow. It had two intended consequences: the first being it stretched the slender girl out, letting her arch her back... and push her chest outwards… and the second meant Tara would have to get just a bit closer. Close enough to kiss, Epona was hoping!

_My firelight in the night! My barbarian bright! My Queen of sunlight!_

But as was so wonderfully often the case in these matters, the barbarian had other ideas! "Little Mouse, you didn't say anything… about… _Rrrrrr…_ about… these little things being sore." She closed her lips around the Epona's breasts, her tongue swirling, a tornado of bliss and power. Epona felt a warm cloud roll over her, a heady mist clouding her mind. A gentle hand slowly fell on Epona's soft place, simply resting there… focusing the girl's misty mind. Tara cupped Epona's breasts between her index and thumb, _squeezing_, while her wet, warm mouth _drew_ and _pulled_. Epona's felt her face flushing scarlet. It felt like a sunburn… but infinitely more pleasant!_ Oh gods, no, this can't be happening to me, she's trying to milk me. Oh! _

Tara pulled back, her eyes smoky and soft, raising herself. "So… you like my honey? So does Adalia. Heh. Well… I'm pretty sore myself. Walking crooked, hah! But worth it. Two sweet girls?" Epona said nothing, her eyes riveted on her mistress, her breath coming in soft puffs. With languid grace and strength, the barbarian pulled Epona downwards by her hips, sliding her to the middle of the bed. "Ah. No sweet milk from you it seems. _Yet..._ So how about I play a new game? Gods, I've never seen you so red! Hmm… gotta be careful not to cool you down…_" _Tara tucked the blanket on either side of the girl's legs and stomach snugly, and pulled the blanket down, barring her breasts. Morning sunlight glistened on their wet, rosy tips. Tara admired her a moment or two, in silence. Epona swallowed nervously at this loving and amused study.

_Oh no… I always lose these games!_

Tara pulled open her heavy sleeping robe, her strong shoulders leaping into view first… and then her softer curves. Epona's delirium swirled up again, her green eyes darkening to a mossy green shade. Tara grinned, studying the tensions and intensity the girl as she ran her eyes across the warrior's body. "You're red like a tomato Epona. You like?" Epona answered softly. "Yes." Her eyes drifted back up to the smiling warrior eyes. "But the way they make you feel is what makes them so great Tara." Tara's lips suddenly quirked and a low, rich laugh filled the room. "Liar. Such a sweet, wonderful liar."

The Terror of Gaelis suddenly curved into a downwards dive, much like Epona had done the night before, and planted a heavy, heady kiss on the Romusi girl's soft lips. Epona respond in kind, with light; fleeting kisses on Tara's lips, but that ended when the warrior unceremoniously pressed her tongue inwards, exploring her slave's softness. At this, Epona let her eyes drift shut, in sweet surrender. The warrior pulled back slowly, and Epona opened her eyes again, to stare at the beautiful face so close to hers.

"So this game is done like this." She crawled on top of Epona, and then _over_ her! The darkness of her robe blinded Epona for a moment. _Is she going to sit on me_? But the warrior kept crawling, low chuckles filling the room. The Celt then turned around, her eyes above Epona's eyes, peering downward. "Umm… are we doing upside down kissing?" Tara purred wordlessly, and lowered herself a bit, hovering a soft globe above Epona's flushed face. Epona's eyes darted from side to side, around the menacing orb.. "Not _quite_. Now! Be a good girl and do as you've been taught: _lick!_ _Aaahhh…_ _yes… _like that… circles Epona… circles… _good_."

Tara pressed herself down, letting her softness cover the girl face. She could feel Epona's soft breath curling around her breast. Tara closed her eyes, letting the shivers she had held at bay since the start take over. "Good, Epona. So good." Epona raised her hands until the tips of her fingers could lightly touch Tara. She needed to feel her warrior's body, to know she was doing well… to know she was pleasing.

Tara returned to what she had begun, trailing a longue tongue over Epona's smooth form, and delighting at the sight of Epona's legs curling and shuddering beneath their snug blanket. A muffled gasp, louder than Epona ever allowed herself, almost a _shout_, vibrated against Tara's breast. With a growl, Tara reached and grasped one of Epona's curling legs, sharply pulling it up, hand digging into the trembling strength of her green-eyed girl's legs. Tara felt a glowing warmth from growing from her chest starting inwards and heading outwards, warm embers and shivering stars spreading out from the point of contact, down her back… her belly… her legs... with a groan, Tara slumped down, beside Epona, feeling her soft fingers softly trail and press into her…. and then grasp, the curly haired woman finding anchor in the solidity of the fiery haired hero.

Sense of time, and even sense of self, faded away, as the two trailed soft talons across each others, answering each other's cries with a louder one, and taking flight, not into a hurricane, but into a soft upswell of warm air, ever higher and higher, circling, warmed by the vast energy of the sun, which they did not try to reach… but simply let warm their feathery lightness.

The redplumed, blue-eyed eagle swooped away suddenly, gliding away, and settling in a tree above a placid sky-blue lake. It seemed a bit tired, but would soon be renewed by a short rest and a good meal. A sleeker hawk, its newly grown plumage in disarray, followed her clumsily, and settled beside the stronger hawk. Whether its chaotic plumage could endure the elements of the world couldn't be known… but it had sharp talons, at least. The two predators perched in the tree, without moving, peering into the blue lake, and watching its clouds undulate. The eagle pecked at a few stray feathers on the hawk, smoothing out a bit of the mess.

_ - Oh Epona, what am I going to do with you?_

_ - I don't know, ma'am. You always say: you'll never love something _like _me… but you never say you won't love me. I just love thinking about you, everyday. Like a prayer, but a bit more useful. All I want to do is help a bit and create with you and love you, everyday!_

_ - How?_

_ - I… don't know. I'd like to see you fly in friendlier skies first. Maybe even in Adalia's sky! She could draw, while you write!_

The eagle was silent for some time.

_ - Are you the girl of my dreams? The perfect beauty? My muse?_

_ - I might be… but… don't confound the dream with the person you think will fill the dream. I don't want you to get hurt! I trust Adalia… her anger can be sharp, but she dreams of love. She practices it!_

_ - And you? You're life is… one great promise. The great peace seeker. Given to god. Can you fulfill it? Are you hiding? And let me remind you of something: being a woman is no excuse for cowardice!_

The hawk voice was soft in answer.

_ - I'll try… but it's hard to even think about what I need._

The red eagle was silent in thought for a moment, and then shook itself. _Ah! Enough then! Enough thinking! Let's eat! _

_Let's __**fly**__!_

Tara erupted from bed, the blue blanket swept aside, her steps determined, pulling a smiling Epona by the hand.

Epona squeaked suddenly! "Wait! We have to wear clothes to go outside!"


	22. Ch 22 Seahorse

_Oh no! Chaos word-thought jumple!  
But above it all, with a Cheshire Cat smile  
__the sun in my sky!  
Nikipinz  
_

***********

_An ideal body, perfect and true, in every way possible. Worthy to be more than her slave. Worthy to be Tara's wife. To stand in front of everyone, beautiful, as she takes me by the hand..._ _She would be such a wonderful… husband? We could make a nice home together, somewhere she can feel soft and safe while I do nice things to her… and sometimes, every now and then, not so nice things, that she'll like even more!_

_Husband and wife. Witch of us would be the which? The words are all wrong. I need a switch, but what kind?_

Epona felt fear and love surge up slowly from belly, an anxious cloud of light._ Oh gods, I want to be able to have children with Tara. She would be such a wonderful father! If I was… No. Not right now. Don't think about it. Don't think. A woman should be able to have children… and if I won't be able to have them… I won't really be a woman? _

_Stop it, Epona, you're just hurting yourself! I'm certain she doesn't want children… it's never come up directly, but she doesn't seem the type… but… oh, damn me… damn me… children or Tara? No! No. Damn my eyes, I used to think I shouldn't even have children: how could I let my cursed blood flow through a child? How could I hate someone so much? No, no, no. Stop. This isn't the time, or place…. My things… are not in order. My life is chaotic. I can barely provide for myself and it's so fragile when I do. Right now, I'm limited and blind. But… if I'm a soft girl, then I'm vulnerable too?_

_I… I'll… ill. So ill. _

_But I won't cut my hair. Why am I in love with her? She's deep and red and concentrated, while I'm colourful and scatter brained. This is too big a question for me, but how do I break it down? Too new. But I'll live for a long time, and if Roma perfects her healing potions, I'll live a bit longer, enough to reach a better batch of longevity potions… and then I'll live a bit longer, and so on and so on. Forever…. or until something changes! _

_I don't feel special… except when she looks at me._ The sensation of Tara running her strong, callused hands across Epona's body returned, sending tingling fiery sparks across Epona. _When she touches me. When she loves me. _

_And I do want softer curves… maybe… I should talk about it with someone._

_But Tara? She burns sometimes! My red dragon! My dark cat! She needs love, that's a fact! If she burns herself out… No! __**NO! **__Not her! The world would be so much darker if she wasn't there to laugh at me and my silliness and rage at my weakness! Will she ever tell me I'm beautiful? _

_One thing I know: if I ever do have children of my own, they'll never have to guess if I love them. Never! That counts for something. That must count for something. I'll tell them every day that I love them. They will _never_ have to guess. And that's not a promise, that's a fact!_

Epona covered her eyes with her palms and sighed. _But that's not for now. I'll figure it all out somehow._

_But… why do I feel so much better now? Better than I have in months? Why is my skin getting so sensitive? Why does the idea she might not like me bother so much? A wonderful, savage girl likes me, at least a bit… and maybe even more than a bit! _

_And my mind is my own now. It could have been something… worse. Everyone has a box around their mind, whether or not they have a name for it. Isn't that enough? When is it enough? _

_And she has Adalia too. _

Epona exhaled, sudden relief easing her fears._ Even if I'm not wife material, she won't be alone now. Goodness! I'll never feel jealous again, it's actually a relief she can turn to others! I know she doesn't do it casually, despite her desire! _

_I have to speak to someone! But… who?_

O=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=O

The old magistrate was behind his desk, stacks of letters around it. Epona stared at the tufts of hair coming from his ears and his immense beard and direct, intelligent eyes. "More tea, my Lady?" _Almost a mask. I wonder what family he belongs too?_ Epona smiled and nodded. "So. I've read this letter of yours Epona. You speak quite forcefully on paper, I expected someone… different, in court. On one hand, you threaten me with the Terror of Gaelis and your name, and on the other, you offer me want I want. You're very much like you're father… if you're telling the truth" _Who's very much like his mother._ The thought was unsettling, she would think of it more later.

Aldin continued: "I considered your arguments carefully, and yes, without Alexandre as mayor, the villagers would turn to Gregor for guidance… and me. It is something that he cannot do without Adalia's support, you say." Epona shrugged with uneasy humour. "Nothing is ever as it seems. The histories speak of battles, armies, rapes and plunders… but a soft word and glance find no place on paper."

He nodded. "Quite true. I wanted to speak of the trial and the… woman you're with. You're starting down a dangerous path, one that you're not equipped to deal with, or even understand, I think." Epona looked away, in thought. _I want to speak of something else_. "Divorce is not unknown. If someone wishes to divorce, they should. To do otherwise is to allow slavery." He frowned at the lack of mention of Tara. _I know what to think about divorce… but Tara and I are complicated_. Aldin stroked his beard toughfully."Families will be destroyed. If Adalia had been a mother, I would never have agreed to it. I also hope this serves as a warning to Alexandre, his behaviour is _not_ befitting of a Romusi. But I have made a dangerous precedent now, and many villagers are dismayed. What of the children? Without a father to guide and protect them, and provide for them… they would be _worse_ than bastards, for they would understand what they lack. With marriage, we approach greater unity, a unity that will bring us closer to the Gods. You are young; you cannot see how marriage is the way a woman becomes sacred and beloved, by her husband, by her children… by all!"

_Ah. There's the rub of it. Adalia's divorce._ Epona stared at him emphatically. "Your Honor, we follow the gods because it works. We have created Roma, the great city of light. But it is not as it was foretold, was it? The ideal of Plato, we have not created it. The men of gold, silver and bronze exist but still, those senators, soldiers and farmers fight amongst themselves… and each enact purges on the other, claiming they expel the unworthy." Aldin raised an eyebrow. "Of course they do. The ideal city demands the ideal sacrifice, the one that no one can make, and so, correction must take place to restore balance. The ideal forms and gods do not reside in the mortal world. Perhaps in the next, but not this one." _To have an ideal body._ Epona felt her concentration fray suddenly. She shook her head. "We follow the gods _because we know_ it works. But… will it always be so? The _Flamen Dialis_ is the high priest of Jupiter, and his vows are strict. For instance, he cannot wear a knot in his clothes, or see a table without food… or be out of sight of the city for more than a day. Food is more plentiful than it has ever been, and why bother with knots now? There are more interesting things to worry about, but the silly ritual remains. A governor who returns to Roma lays down his governorship when he enters her gates. But… why would anyone want to live anywhere but Roma now? And yet, is it an eternal city? Can Roma endure forever? Something else… might work better. Many yearn for a unification of power, and a tyrant arises… and then others despise him, and destroy him and his followers. But one day they will fail, and the tryrant will rule."

Aldin _humphed_ thoughtfully. "That is a question many ask, and the answer is simple. Roma is the greatest power the world has ever seen. Nothing approaches it in the slightest, and I have read the histories and seen much else. The recent purges merely scoured its exterior; it will be clean again soon enough."

Epona nodded. "The city works and his better than what was before. And many now worship it. What else can you call the fervour of the villagers? _Roma Aeterna_, they say_._ But the Wise know it is a mortal work, and what is mortal will perish eventually: it will _change_. Roma has been pillaged and has been burned down before. It is the way of the world. Plato contended that the ideal city is beneath an unquantifiable ideal of goodness: an invisible sun that illuminates the mind with virtue. But like the sun, we do not know what it is."

Epona sipped her tea thoughtfully. "It is said he foretold the great City, and we now see the beginnings of its worship, and the old gods are fading as we watch. Already, some say the gods are but _aspects_ of a greater whole. But when _Roma Aeterna_ is gone too, what then? They will worship what remains of it: the invisible sun. And they say they will be part of the ideal city, the bronze servants to its silver citizens, and the silver obeying the great golden ones, everyone inhabiting ideal bodies… in the next life. Or perhaps they will claim that _all_ men and women are of the gold, and _all_ can hear the virtue of goodness. A sun god none can see, and always behind a great, dark, mountain you can never climb… an imaginary Olympus. But those descendants will always fear the fall of Roma, an apocalypse that almost destroyed the dream, more dire than any famine or pestilence ever seen. The cities their mortal shells inhabit will not matter then, as long as they claim allegiance to the imaginary city. Roma's others children will claim that the old gods were right, and that their ways were best. But what they call eternal and conservative… is anything but! Things change into new things, which look like old things, at first glance, because that's what they're made of." Epona stirred the tea cup, swirling the leaves within it.

"But before the idea of the perfect City, and the creation of it, and then its worship, there was the act of constructing and refining of the idea of the great City. Our impure city might not topple, but it will fade, one day. Some will blame the downfall on indolence and avarice, others say the whip sullies the master as much as the slave, and the slaves will rise up to become the masters, casting off their chains and slaying there cruel masters. To me, what slavery does is destroy our compassion and love for people and the greater world. Roma doesn't not try and understand the other, and one day that will destroy her, because she will not understand what she faces. She will not even understand herself anymore!"

Aldin grimaced and frowned, his white beard and hair shaking. "An ominous prophecy, my Lady, but one I much prefer over some Sybil's cryptic Mysteries. On utility of the gods, I disagree, but I will not be too hasty with my counterarguments… and _why_ should Roma understand someone other than herself? No one can rival our Empire and the life we live." Epona nodded, but echoed her previous thoughts. "That we know of." Aldin's frown deepened, and his eyes became even more intense as he spoke. "As for our compassion and love vanishing, well, I would not be too hasty saying that. We have perfected many medicines for the mind, and improving it. How many children are now obedient and still in school thanks to them? And our love lives have been improved by many potions and tonics. Indeed, a man may now love a woman, even at my ripe old age! That is not a small thing! I say, should we need it, we can find a salve for compassion as well, like any other deficit we face. Aphrodin, for exemple, allows a Roma couple to enjoy a perfect melding should they be a proper match for the other, I'm sure something more diluted could have the same effect as this much vaunted 'loving compassion'… but we do not need it!"

Epona shook her head. Her curly hair stayed stiff, but it would soon sway with her movements... already, her hair caught the breeze in a very nice fashion. _I like washing it… and I think much better in the bath than out of it too! Hmm… a pony tail might be fun to have! I bet Tara will think of lots of jokes too. She can pull on it, and stuff… _"Master Aldin, I can say with certainty that no tincture will ever replace understanding, and the loving compassion that comes with it. It is something you _do._"

He nodded, seeming to concede the point. "True. The issue is moot, however. We do not need compassion, because no one is worthy of our understanding." He waved a dismissive hand, ending the subject. He took a slurping gulp of tea, his brow furrowed in thought.

Epona drank, a bit more calmly, as well. Aldin looked up suddenly, his eyes sharp. _This is where the blades are drawn_. "So. Epona, you've traveled with this Celt? Tell me, what do you know of her? Do you know where she was born? What she wants?" Epona shrugged. "She's had a hard life, one with narrow choices sometimes, and she seeks to redeem herself. I'm not sure the crimes she speaks of are _true_ crimes, but perhaps they are. But that doesn't matter to me, we have all done something we regret, or failed to be what we thought we _should_ be. She can cast me away… but… I don't think she will. I hope not." Epona spread her hands, palm up, an invisible offering. "I know my love for her, and others she meets, is helping her, I can feel it. I don't know if it's mine that helps the most… I do know that she smiles more, and her wildness is… _cleaner_ than it was. I'm not sure how close she'll let me be to her... Her hunger is still so great… I'm not sure I can satisfy it. She… shaves herself, to feel clean but also to lessen sensitivity, I think. Like me! She needs solitude sometimes, more than others. It might make cities difficult for her. I wonder if she has trouble being on time for appointments, or keeping jobs... I don't go as far but I… did have very short hair, for a very long time, and I have trouble with… endless waves of new people. I think… I feel more _hope_ for _her_ now than I do for myself. I'm not sure… I can be someone she can fall in love with, and I don't want another painful memory of love."

Aldin frowned, and spoke sharply: "But no one can change _what_ they are! You're a… _Romusi!_ That's that! If she doesn't like it, then she won't like you! You can't change what you are!" Epona faced him expressionlessly. Aldin watched her with sharp eyes for a moment. He continued his attack: "You're skin is white, you were born to a Patrician family, and from your face, possibly Jewish ancestry as well." Epona's eyes fell to the floor, away from those sharp eyes. _Jewish? What?_ Epona struggled for an answer. She looked at her hands, open on her lap.

Epona's voice was soft and tinged with wry amusment. "My hands seem pink to me, not white." Aldin answered quickly, his eyes intent. "And yellow as well." Aldin eyes' searched her face, but for what, Epona didn't know.

He seemed to be searching for words. "Epona… this… you'll… if this is _true_, it'll become _real_ one day. Does Tara _want_ something more? Or is this adventure enough for her? Will you be ready to deal with it when it becomes _real_?"

Epona felt her throat tighten. "It…. would be nice. Maybe she's worried I'll think she's ugly… or… that I'll like men better. Well I kinda like both, to be honest, but guys don't know if they should fight with me or kiss me, they know they'll lose either way…. So I have trouble with them now. They get so nervous and scared looking!" At this, Aldin, the Romusi magistrate, looked a little green. _What? Why can't I like both_?_ Oh… me making a man submissive would be pretty horrible idea to a proper Romusi, I guess._ Epona smiled apologetically.

Silence stretched, as something neither seemed able to speak of fell across their exchange. Epona shrugged, breaking the sudden tension. "Umm… well, it's a relief not to be worried about some things. You've helped me with the strangeness of some things. I thought… all I needed was _practice_, and I could do them like everyone else does…. But it wasn't working! I kept thinking: '_if I'm so amazing, shouldn't I already be doing something incredible? What's happening to me?_' But now I know I need to do things my own way, because I can't do them any other way. I'm not a blank page, no _tabula rasa_, as they say."

Aldin smiled approvingly. "We aren't adversaries. Quite the contrary! The most important thing is that you keep looking. And what of your own projects? When you're happy, you work on numbers, you've told me."

Epona nodded, eyes glazing as happy triangles dancing in her mind suddenly. "Actually, yes!" Aldin nodded enthusiastically. "Epona, there are many ways to get a five. You can add two and three, or four and one…" Epona piped up: "Or the square root of twenty-five." Aldin smiled in agreement. "Exactly! And I don't care if you're a five, but_ how_ you're a five."

Epona smiled a somewhat sneaky and cheeky grin. _I used to think numbers were honest. But, really, they're so sneaky. Square root of twenty-five can be negative too! By convention, we say it's positive by default._

Epona placed a finger against her mouth in thought suddenly. "But, really, I'm kind of like a girl: a person is what I like most, and Tara's the best person I've ever met. Being beautiful… is a great frosting to have. But being ugly and bony like me can be worked on too!"

"Anyway, enough about Tara! Flirting is really fun too!" Epona crossed her legs. "You know, when I watch a girl get a guy, that girl always changes a bit after a while. She gets more aggressive, she wears nicer, tighter clothing. '_Look at me, you should have tried before, it's too late now',_ they seem to say say!"

Epona hid an amused smile behind her fingers… badly."I noticed you have very nice hair today! You must have used a lot of lotions… it's so nice and full looking."

Epona traced the contours of her own body, a graceful gesture mimicking a waterfall spilling from her head along her body.

Aldin froze, his unblinking eyes wide. Epona smiled at him, and wiggled her dangling foot. He leapt up suddenly, surprisingly spry, and leafed in his book. "Well thank you Epona perhaps we'll talk later I have another appointment now. We'll talk later." He left Epona sitting alone in his study, hunching forward as he rushed away, notebook flapping. _A bookworm is always a bookworm. _Epona laugh was quiet. _I like him. He's smart!_

Epona sighed softly. She felt slightly drained… but… suddenly, the book filled shelves in Aldin's office beckoned temptingly. _Huh! Maybe I should take a book? I'd give it back later! Promise!_ Epona chewed her lip thoughtfully. _Borrowing isn't stealing._

The would-be borrower slapped her left hand with the right one. _Bad Epona! No touching! You have to set a good example for Tara!_

Tara.

The powerful, fragile Tara. A beautiful warrior, a sweeter poet, a demanding lover… and a quiet soul. A panther. _I make her laugh. There's nothing sweeter or more real… almost nothing._

A tear fell from Epona's eye suddenly. She caught it, and stared at it thoughtfully. _Am I crying? I don't feel sad. Or do I?_

_Tara would protect any girl that was hers. I would be safe in her arms. _A tingle spread across Epona, and her clothes felt too tight suddenly. _I'm feeling something. I should write… it would let me know what's going on._

_Zeus's thunder! If she wanted me in her bed, I would be there every night, even if it's old and moth-eaten! I wonder… how she truly feels about it. Maybe she'll… take me. _

_Maybe… we can snuggle together too!_


	23. Ch 23 An enlightened, calm discussion

_Adalia remembers her wedding night…_

_When I read about Tara dreaming Epona might stab her… Tara's knife loomed large in my mind._

_I didn't know why until I read the last Conqueror and Tara! _

_And… since this is set before the boat trip where Tara had decided Epona was all she needed… well why not?_

**************

Adalia lounged in bed. She had rushed about quite a lot in the past day or so, and a nap had been simply divine. She wasn't sure how favourable Aldin would be in her divorce, but she hoped everything that had been created with her wealth would be restored to her. Epona was away, politicking with the judge. _It's only fair, Alexandre was no slouch, true, but nothing he said matched what he did. Aldin will be impartial… but it doesn't hurt to know him a bit either!_ Her thoughts drifted to the night everything had gone wrong…

_My marriage night. _

Alexandre had been a virgin. Neither of them were. She had… _explored_… more than he had, so she had expected something nervous and eager, and that's how it had started. She had been too impetuous to marry at a younger age, and an old, grey husband was just disgusting. A nice, soft, bright man… under the muck of the tannery. Alexandre hadn't caught her eye when her family first moved to town. But every now and then, he would go into town to duel in the frequent tourneys they had. _He took three baths before he would even be in the same room as me that night… I didn't mind the tannery… I knew he could be more than that._ _ Alexandre. He laughed so much when he duelled in the games and made friends… he could be Mayor… he could be sweet…_

They had said the vows, eaten and drank and sang and laughed... he lifted her, and took her to his bed in the new house they had just built… and… he had been a _virgin_. _I went too fast and it… it… was too tight!_ His pained scream was the thing of nightmares. She had scrambled of as he convulsed, trying to light candles to what had harmed him so._ No one really expected blood on our wedding sheets. I didn't know a man… could… The skin was too tight; it had never really been… stretched… I didn't know it could… be too tight…_

She had rushed out to find the town healer, half naked in the night and returned to find a locked door. She had pried a window open and crawled inside to unlatch the door… and Alexandre was in bed, weeping… _I know he's out there now, drunk out of his mind…_

It had healed, rather quickly… but _it_ was scarred. He was scarred. Their _marriage_ was scarred._ And I had done it._ _So I put everything I had into making him proud again. He wanted a Romusi life and we helped bring them into our town. He wanted a better job, so we built what I thought would be an inn. He wanted to be Mayor, so I spoke to everyone I knew… he wanted to leave the tannery… so I worked there. He wanted to go out at night… and not come back._ She had rushed about, and they had never spoken of that night again. And after everything had become perfect, Alexandre started drinking, and she turned to search for enlightenment._ I was such a blind fool, all we needed was honesty._

Epona and Tara had barged into her life, out of nowhere…. _No, that's not right. I was looking at her. Someone like her._ Epona was slim, tight with thrilled beyond excitement as she poked at vegetables as if she had never seen them before. Tara had been calm and confident; a predator filled with power... and a strange humour… as if catching mice was both a joke and her life's work.

_Tara should be back soon._ _What should I do?_ Seeing Epona and Tara hug and hold hands all day, and then hearing their bed creaking… one sound amongst many, _many _other sounds… was making her feel alive in ways she hadn't known before. "_Go start a bath, and Tara will come by when she's done with me", _Epona had said, as if it was something they did everday. _I knew Romusi were casual about it… but gods, I'm not! Waiting in a bathtub for a woman I've only met a week ago? Madness… it's not the great love I wanted as a girl, but it doesn't hurt._

She had also noticed that neither one ever left her alone for long, either. She felt a strange, warm tingle at that. She wasn't worried Alexandre would attack _her_, but… it was nice to have someone watch out for her._ Tara will be back soon. Maybe Epona too… she's beyond bizarre, but sweet. Different 'levels' of friendship, she said. Goddess help me, what does that even mean!?_ _And Tara was… everything a girl could want. A noble beast with such soft, soft fur… a hero…_ _She'll be back soon and maybe Epona. It's nice to have a wholesome meal with friends._

Adalia felt the tingle strengthening. Her hand drifted down to the rough hair below her belly and she traced a small, soft circle there. She swallowed suddenly, feeling the crass, organic pleasure that she had felt such shame of, for so long._ I'm a whore. I must be… what else is left? Why can't I stop this? Why do I need this so much?_

With a sigh, she pulled her hand back. The ache remained however. _A hero. Is that what I need? Saving me from the monsters? _She stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. _I don't need saving. I'm the one who tried to save Epona, wasn't I?_ Most of the poses in her books were named after powerful, elemental forces. _The Salute of the sun pose, the Crane, the Cobra, the Warrior, all done with slow, and deep breathes… but what if I did them fast? Faster than Alexandre was when he killed Granny's cow. Almost as strong as Tara, and almost as fast as Epona. _

She rolled out of bed, and stood straight. _Stand, as if a wire held me up, and my legs and arms were loose._ She breathed in, calmly. With a sudden explosion, she kicked out, her foot snapping out, higher than her head. She settled on the tips of her feet, poised. _I can't do that in a skirt!_

_I'll never wear one again._

A knock on the door of a heavy fist, with the secret code Tara had insisted they have, and only she bothered with. _That'll be Tara then!_ She peered through a curtain to be sure, before returning to the door, unlocking it. The barbarian stood in a relaxed pose, holding a small cloth bag. Adalia felt a sudden happy thrumming of energy at the sight. "Tara! Back so soon? Nothing new happened here." She tried to keep her voice even. Tara nodded. "Yeah, figured I'd take a small walk while there's still light. Epona likes it when I take care of myself and eat right." Her tone was thoughtful and distracted. Adalia grinned, amusement crinkling her eyes. "Next you'll tell me she puts you to bed too, Terror," she teasingly poked. Tara turned a startled look on her. "What? She cooks a bit for me. _That's it!_" Adalia laughed more openly. "I could do that! I did it last night, didn't I?" Her eyes held a small sparkle.

Tara looked awkward. "Yes… maybe…" The barbarian coughed a bit. "So! Today is a day for cheese, bread and wine. Something to warm us a bit!" Adalia's eyes flashed with a sudden amused light. "Oh, is it now?" The warrior frowned. "It is, _now_. Go set the table." Tara handed her the bag and walked to the washroom without another word. Adalia started in surprise at being so ordered. _Did she just brush me off? Hmph! Well, she is a wild one…_

She set the table. There wasn't much to do: plates, and slice some bread. _And wine cups! It doesn't hurt every now and then. Grapes are a wholesome food. Especially when they're turned into wine!_

The warrior returned shortly, and settled at the table with a sigh. "Is Epona back yet?" Adalia shook her head. "She's meeting Aldin. Trying to feel out our position." Tara nodded grimly. "Scouting is the first thing you do in a war. Who knows how long she'll be out… S'why I got cheese and bread." Adalia picked her glass up. "And wine!" Tara's lips twitched, a smile quickly hidden.

O=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=O

Adalia poured herself a fourth glass. "Hmm! Come to momaaaa." She scooped up some cheese and smeared it on bread. "Yeah. Cheese. Oh, goddess yeah." Tara sipped her glass and eyed her with wry amusement. "Leave some for Epona." Adalia stuffed some bread in her mouth, and then gulped some wine. "Oh. When they _mix_ it's so good. Oh. Goddess, I love being a pig!" Tara chuckled, shaking her head. Adalia fixed her with a sudden stare. "Did I ever tell you I was sorry I sent you to jail, and tried to run off with Epona?" Adalia banged her hand on the table for emphasis. "I'm really sorry about that! Really!" At this, Tara placed her elbow on the table, and her chin in her palm. "Sorry it didn't work, I'll bet," she said sardonically. Adalia erupted into a fit of giggles!

After her peel of laughter faded, Adalia's blue eyes stared at her plate. "How did you do it Tara? How did you get her?" The sunhaired woman's voice was soft. She raised tear filled eyes to Tara. "Where can I get my Epona?" Her voice was trembling. Tara eased back in her chair with a sigh. "I'd love to tell you how… one day, you'll be doing what you love, and she'll be there with you, cheering you on, her eyes shining. She'll let you push her and pull her a bit... You'll feel a fire in your belly every time she shows up. She'll make you want to _live_." Tara stared into her glass, idly swirling the red liquid. "And then… all you have to do then is kiss her." She took a long draught before continuing in a moody growl: "Just kiss her, and let her know how you feel. Don't do something stupid and take something you can't give back. She might… stay sore."

Tara's hand tightened on her cup, and her face was grim.

Adalia wiped her eyes. "Sounds good. Alright, now tell me how to be a hero." Tara blinked, startled. "What?" Adalia banged a fist on the table, sending breads crumbs jumping. "A bloody, epic, champion for justice and truth! Like you!" Tara shook her head. "You're just a kitten. You don't want what I have." The caramel haired woman pouted. "That's not fair. I want a girl that looks at me the way Epona does with you."

Adalia stared in challenge. "I want my Epona!" Tara scowled. "I've got nothing to teach you. Running around woods with a piece of steel and a horse? That's not a life." Anger suffused Adalia. "It can be!" Tara turned a baleful glare on her. "_No_, it isn't!" Adalia opened her mouth to answer… when Tara leapt out of her chair!

The barbarian shoved the woman hard, sending her chair toppling backwards. With a surprised curse, Adalia hit the floor, arms and legs scrambling for purchase in the air like a frantic shrimp. Tara squatted down, a hand pinning the shocked woman to the floor. Stillness returned to the scene, the only sound the harsh breathing of Adalia. Blue eyes looked up through a tangle of messy gold hair. "No. You really don't," Tara said, her voice cold.

With her other hand, Tara reached for her boots, pulling up her leather pants cuff. The long hilt of a dagger was strapped there, and the red haired woman closed her fingers around it. "This is what makes me a hero. _This._" The blades edge shone coldly in the warm light as she drew it. It had no crossguard. "I've had it for years. Not everyone gets to see it…" Tara held the blade up, the light glinting off its perfect edge. "It's almost magical, really, no one has ever taken this knife from me… I've lost so much, but I've always had this little thing with me. _This_ is justice. You go on about loving compassion, and sure, it sounds good if everyone plays the same game, but what do you do when they don't?"

Tara ran a thumb across the thick leather hilt. "What do you do when you share a campfire with an evil bastard? A guy who raids for fun. Kills children, kills women, kills men. He does it for fun! He's even got a necklace made from fingers. He likes wearing jewellery, like a sissy, _heh_. I've met men like that in the wilds. What do you do? Let him go after telling him '_Be a good boy now'_? You'll never see him again, but you know where he's headed, him and his friends. Can you love yourself knowing you let something like that happen?" Fear and anger distorted Adalia's beautiful features as Tara's growled words hit her.

"I'd stop him! I'd stop them from hurting people," Adalia's voice was tight. Tara's answering smile was wolfish. "_I didn't_." Horror flared in Adalia's eyes, and her trembling hands pushed against the warrior. "_No!_ You let them _live!? How could you?_" Tara threw her head back and barked a harsh laugh. "Of course _not!_ No way in hell I'd sleep when maniacs like that are around me at night! 'Sides, I wanted their stuff, and I was stronger. But I wasn't trying to be a hero."

Moments pasts. Tara didn't move, her hand still as stone. Adalia slumped, confusion and anger clouding her eyes. At last, she spoke. "The Amazons will stop this. The slavers in the wild. The poisons going into Roma. Stop it all," her voice was tight. Cold.

It sounded much like Tara's had, moments ago. It sounded like her own voice had been, ages ago.

The Celt stared done into the savage gleam of the golden woman. "I tried that. I tried both sides. For _years_. The Amazons are poisoning their arrows, and the Romusi are creating legions of slave. They both want a paradise, with everyone who disagrees dead. How do you create a heavenly paradise when it's built on the ashes of other kingdoms? It won't be a divine realm; it'll just be more of the same, with Amazons Queens and champions instead of Romusi matriarchs and Generals. They'll just put the Queens in front instead of the Generals, or the other way 'round. Either way, it'll be slaves and poisons, together." Tara voice's was whisper thin, almost afraid, almost angry.

Almost despairing.

The cold light in Adalia's blue eyes faded slowly, something infinitely warmer taking their place. "What would you like Tara? What will you try now? I want to understand. How do we stop slavery?" Tara brown eyes were filled with something small and troubled. "No one can stop it. You can only run. I'll try something… nice now. A nice girl. Nice friends. No more games, and endless battles where I get everything I want one day, and lose it the next. A little money. A nice house where I can stay with my girl. Some adventures when we're tired of the same ceiling. Someone who can fix… me. Someone who can free me from slavery… to myself."

Adalia's hand slipped up to the squatting woman. "Maybe I'm not that girl… but… we're more than friends now, you and me. More than that. We share so much, why not this? Every now and then?" Her voice was melodious and low.

The golden woman's hand delicately brushed the spot joining Tara's legs.

Tara _grunted_, her body jerking, as if she had been struck. She toppled on her backside.

Adalia rolled to her side, between the warrior's strong legs. "I can see your dagger, Tara. Has Epona seen it?" Tara said nothing for a moment. Adalia's eyes where kind and inquisitive. Tara looked away. "She's sensitive. She's squeamish. She'll never like something like this!" Tara's voice _hissed_. Adalia gently cupped Tara's clenched hand. "It has no crossguard… you can only attack with this knife. No defence. What do you do with a knife you can't use in battle!? What do you do with it?" Tara's voice grated in answer. "_Nothing._"

The sun-haired one trailed her hand along its flat, gleaming edge. She closed her hand around Tara's clenched fist. "What do you do with a knife no one can see? When you're alone in the woods? The one you never use in battle. When you're trying to sleep…" The warrior looked almost sick, and showed her teeth in something that wasn't a smile. Adalia continued, undeterred: "She wants it Tara. You know she's sneaky, she must have seen it by now. You keep it next to your feet don't you? And she likes _those_, doesn't she? She wants your knife. I want it too… try it on me… it's nice and smooth… you keep it clean. Practice on me. With me." Adalia pressed her hand firmly against the smoothness beneath Tara's belly. "We're more than friends Tara. We've both made the other…_wet._ So _wet_." Her golden voice was mellifluous and honeyed.

With a trembling hand, Tara reached back to her boot, and pulled the scabbard out. It was strangely worn, as if hands were more often around the scabbard than the smooth hilt. Adalia fumbled at the unfamiliar leather bindings of her pants, before pulling them down. Tara sheathed her small blade, and twisted it. Something _clicked_, and then it was a smooth rod, tapered at each end. The golden woman looked at it with wide eyes and chuckled, low and warm. "Oh Tara… it's _so big!_" Tara's lips pressed together in irritation, and her eyes flashed. "Hey now!"

Adalia laughed playfully, and pulled her shirt over her head. She shook her head wildly, making a fussy mess of her hair with her hands, and _growled_ a shivering shudder. Her eyes filled with life and light.

Her pert breasts, rosy and darkly pink, stared at Tara eagerly.

Tara stared back.

Adalia spun around, the smooth curve of her back and its golden hair spilling down it pressing into Tara chests. Into the barbarian beauty's breasts! "Tara… with me… with me… with me…" Her voice was a sing-song chant. With one hand, Tara cupped a golden breast, kneading it gently.

Adalia made a gasping, delighted sound. She leaned her head to the side, letting Tara run her tongue along its soft skin, and then softly nibble an ear lobe.

Adalia made a gasping, sharp sound.

Tara plunged her dagger into Adalia. The woman gasped, and her feet dug into the floor. "Oh yes! _Yes! With me!_" Her voice was high and sweet, much higher than Epona's. Tara lightly bit her shoulder, and continued to press and caress and hold her friend's chest, while her dagger plunged in and out of her depth. Adalia grasped Tara's hands, tight, guiding her into more speed, into more lively places. Her moans were loud, warm. Liquid and _Wet._

Adalia's inhaled and energy flooded into, over her, _through_ her.

Tara held her close as her legs left the floor to twitch in the air, her hands pushing onto Tara's knees, pushing her into Tara's soft chest and muscular stomach.

She exhaled, with a shuddering gasp, as the energy left her.

With heated eyes, Adalia looked down at her sex. Tara's dagger protruded from her, almost grotesquely. The hilt was inside her, and Tara's clenched hand held it there. Adalia's own hand had guided its attack against her.

It was surreal.

Tara held her, and brought both her legs around the woman, in a warm hug. She held on as soft shudders continued to flow across her friend. Adalia closed her eyes. After the last of the warm earthquakes had passed, Adalia felt the dagger slowly gently pulled out. _Oh, I could use more friends like Tara… _She laughed… she groaned… at the thought.

_Now it's my turn to be a good friend!_

She lightly kissed the warrior's jaw, in a wet smooch. "Oh. Godess. That was good. Okay. That was… I can tell you practice a lot Tara. I'll definitely need one of those. But for now," Adalia smiled with laughter, "for now, I'll have to borrow yours!"

Tara chuckled. "You're bad enough… if I give you my dagger, you'll think you're bee, and chase every flower in the town's meadow." Tara sighed. "But no… not when Epona isn't here. I don't want her thinking I'll leave her for someone. I'm good, I don't need anything right now. Except my cheese!" Adalia grinned, and patted the side of Tara's face gently. "Well… thanks for letting me practice a bit with you." Tara smiled half heartedly. "It takes more than practice Adalia. You have to have a spark to build on. But… we'll see. We'll see."

Adalia smiled sympathetically. She thought for a moment, and then grinned! "Hmmm! I know Epona likes to be clean… but just _imagine_ her running her little tongue up and down your dagger while you watch. She can do _that!_ She loves to clean stuff! Maybe you can convince her to do more one of these days? Hmm? Maybe even polish your dagger?" Humour bubbled up from golden woman. Surprise made Tara's eyes open a bit.

Tara coughed. "I don't think so, she's pretty uptight sometimes."

But the thought of Epona joyfully and dutifully licking her knife was...

_Interesting_.


	24. Ch 24 Epona walked beside the road

_Epona's song : youtube_[dot]com/watch?v=HObwjBbpABI

_Tara's song : youtube_[dot]com/watch?v=ckHI-hxFhEU (needs more Bass than youtube can do)

_I failed. Adalia won't get the inn._ _What will she do? What will I do?_ She had tried to convince Aldin to allow it, but it hadn't gone well. None of the town's men had like it, and a surprisingly large amount of the women hadn't either. _Adalia would be the only woman in town who owned her own home, her own business. A music hall, of all things. Some are jealous. Others are angry. No one wants to tip the boat over. Aldin would have had a rebellion if he'd agreed. The inn belongs to Alexandre and Yvon. _

_I failed._

Epona walked along the road. The bright daylight, the noisy streets, the hectic chaos! She almost wanted to cover her ears, but that wouldn't stop the vibrating mess of sound from permeating her. She loved it and hated it. She peered around, looking for that special, magic sign: "rooms for rent". A shoddy building, next to a noisy street… _it can't be that expensive! Staying with Granny Weatherwax just won't end well, she'll squeeze and harry me and I'll get depressed, or Tara will have a fit eventually. And it should be big enough for Tara and me._

She knocked, her emotions roiling at what might be behind the worn door. It opened a crack, and she felt her heart tighten. An old, pinched face peered at her briefly. Epona began her prepared speech. The words were stilted and stressed, but she couldn't help it.

- Hello, are you renting rooms?

- Umm… who told you I was doing that?

- The sign. On your house. Outside.

- Oh. Well, yes, I suppose…

- How large is it? How many rooms?

One gold mark each month, for one room. Paid the first day of the month, mind you!

Oh, that sounds nice! But, no thank you. Goodbye.

_One entire mark for a tiny room in a crumbling wood pile? But... I can't even pay that… Tara makes money enough for food… and odd jobs let us have a treat… but nothing else! _Epona felt as if she were swimming in an ocean of heat. Her gaze slid away from the stranger before her. The glare of his simple, honest suspicion was too much. The building was run down, next to a busy street, and he charged an entire mark? _Too much… but there's nothing else! What will I do? _Her sudden goodbye was anxious and stressed. The man seemed confused for a moment, and then shut the door with a frown on his face.

_I need something nice. Someplace I can live. Somewhere I won't be ashamed to be with her. Somewhere where we… can grow. Two rooms, a good kitchen, on a nice quiet street… it would be perfect. One mark for one room?_

She felt as if the sun had dropped into her head, making her shine like a lantern, and boil like a noodle.

_Moving in with Granny might work… but it was only a matter of time until Tara and the old woman came to blows._ Both were forceful women, Granny harsh and grim, Tara furious and dangerous. It would end badly, sooner or later. Epona would wither away in that harsh conflict.

_I'm alone. No one will help me. Asking for comfort from Tara isn't possible either… she seems to freeze up when something other than anger or laughter are present. And she laughs when she sees either one._

Solitude was nothing new to her. It was, in fact, all she had ever known. But what would she do now? Solitude was surprisingly expensive._ With just a few silver pieces, added to the free food they distribute… even then… even then… not enough! And I don't have anything worth selling… I would never sell Bran or Cerberus! But… I can't even buy carrots for them._

It was a strange thing to understand the bottomless abyss the simple quilt of love and friendship between people was stretched over. Coldness she knew… but this void? _No one would ever fight wars if they understood just how fragile it all is. Without someone else to talk to, there's no laughter. No songs. No love. No work. No energy._

_I need work. The rest should follow._

Making friends was hard enough. Convincing someone to hire her? _Oh, once they know me… see how loyal and clever I am… they won't mind my strangeness then. I'm good with everything that people say is important… good at everything except what counts most! I just have to convince someone, somehow to give me work that isn't… nasty. _

She needed to calm down. Whenever things became this difficult, she would lose herself in a dream. She dreamed of Tara. The warrior would see her in the street, smile her widest smile as she hurried to meet Epona, sweep her into a hug… that would become a quick kiss. She would take her into the shade, give her a glass of pure water, and Epona would tell her she loved her, and the warrior would be amused… and lean in to kiss her… and cup Epona's breasts, easing the terrible burn she felt there… and elsewhere… _except…. except…_

_I'm no good for her! I'm just hurting her!_

Anguish boiled up from what was once a wellspring of happiness. An anchor had come loose. Epona was adrift, far from her beloved ocean, lost in the morass of men and slavery. She wanted so _much!_ Aggression from within and without buffeted her. _What can I do?_ She felt like a thin piece of metal, crumpling and bending.

Epona put her mask on and walked out of town. Some called it a smile.

_The weak must die so that the strong can live, and men and women are wolves. I'm not a girl. I'm not a boy. I am the cold light in the winter ice. The true nature of the world, of the void behind all these smiles. I must find a river, deep and strong enough to take me to the ocean of eternity. High, high above into zero and none. Until I'm nothing._

_I'll tell her I don't love her._

And it was true! She didn't love Tara. She didn't hate Tara. Tara was simply another piece in the puzzle of the world. One that should be a centerpiece, but still, nothing more than a piece.

"Take me to the books! The _colder_ the better." A few heads turned to her, and quickly averted away. _The interactions between pieces is simple enough however. They repel and attract. I don't know why, but I know the how._ That cold, crystal place in her mind was confident. It knew how, in wordless, frightening way._ I don't know _**why**_ I'll do it, but my instincts are never wrong. _

The cold place was an impossible paradox. If she understood, she couldn't do it. To move, it needed… life. Emotions. Her heart. If she put her love into it… then that should be what guided it? She felt a pressure in her heart. A wild searing in her breath. She felt like a vibrating string, ready to snap.

_She won't believe me if I tell her I don't love her. I haven't done anything wrong… yet… Between the two of us, I'm the greater monster. I just haven't done anything wrong yet. _

_That'll have to change. You can create force between two pieces… and two negative pieces can push each other apart. But I need Tara to be with someone. She has to be __**happy!**_The solution was surprisingly simple. Her father would be proud of it.

_No. It won't be like that. It'll be better soon. Tara won't abandon me… not me. I love her! I do!_

0=0=0=0=0=0=0=0=0

Tara seethed silently. Nothing was going as _planned_. She expected this on the battlefield, but to have her freedom so trampled? _Damn it! I should start chopping heads off… starting with mine. I'm trapped in a labyrinth, and Epona is about as useful as a ball of yarn right now. Useful once this is done… well, kinda useful… but she can't fight the monster running around this town. And that damn Weatherwax! Who cares how much water a mop puts on a floor, it'll dry eventually._ She had _tried_ cleaning the floor of their temporary abode. The old codger had had a fit, ranting about wood floor "swelling and twisting in the water." _About as damn likely as the floor growing leaves._ A long shouting match and ended with the old woman shuffling off to the barn, muttering profanities under her breath.

_Me with a mop. When's the last time I had an honest fight? Gods, I need a beer. Heavy and dark, with a roast and some mashed potatoes… not this boiled lettuce crap they try calling food. And what the hell is wrong with Epona?_ The strange kinship she had felt for the girl had met a strange wall. _There's something I don't understand about her. Which is true for most things, actually, but this is actually something… important._ She scowled into her rapidly cooling soup. Epona was in town, supposedly for supplies. She claimed to hate shopping, but that didn't stop her from eying things she'd never need. She was probably quizzing townsfolk about Adalia.

_When did she stop being happy?_ _It was… right after we left Alexandre's hijacked house. Something about that made her all weird. I guess I'll be getting some more moralizing. It's not like we burned the place down!_

"Do you like it?" Adalia's smile was bright and vivid. "Yeah, it's nice. Sorry, I'm just thinking." Adalia rolled her eyes comically. "Well, thinking doesn't do anything." Tara huffed a brief laugh. "I guess so." Adalia smiled happily. Tara returned to her study of soup. The warrior felt something brush across her leg. "Sorry," Tara said distractedly, shifting away from Adalia. The blond woman's head leaned to the side, her smile becoming amused.

Tara looked up. _Hmm? I guess "small talk" or something? _"So how's the divorce going?" Adalia's smile fell away. _Damn._ "Everything seems clear, but it keeps dragging on and on. The judge takes forever, cancels our appearances, makes us repeat the same dull routines, over and over. And Alexandre is so petty! We spent an hour arguing about forks and knives. Forks and knives! Gods, I think they're both doing it intentionally to keep people from having the same bright idea as me." Tara nodded. "Yeah, probably. Romusi are big on rules. Hells, even if you're dead, they'll still obey the rules you've put out. They call it a last will and testament. Usually only kings get that, but every one of them does it. They obey even if you're not around to punish 'em. Or that's how they're supposed to behave."

Adalia shrugged. "Well, legacies are passed on…" Tara shook her head. "No, it's bigger than that. Take… well… Epona. I tell her to do something, and she does it, if she can. Now, let's say I give her something I know she can't do… I _tell her_ she'll fail at it. If I order her to do it, she'll try anyway, and fail, like we both knew she would, and she'll consider _herself_ the dishonored one_. _And the only way to make it right is to try again. Until she's dead or she's fulfilled her command. As long as she does that, she can… live with her failure." Adalia's browed furrowed. "Wait, how is her failing an impossible task _you_ give _her_ fault?"

Tara shook her head. "That's how Romusi think. They get wiggle room as long as they keep trying." Adalia grinned. "So you gotta be careful not to tell her to conquer the world! Or she'll go crazy! Or… she might even do it!" Tara smiled. "Nah, as long as she makes supper and cleans my clothes, all is well."

Adalia grinned. "So… You're her mistress, and you ordered her to make you happy? And she'll die trying to do that?" Tara shrugged. "No. Well, maybe, if you read between the lines." Adalia sighed. "I have _got_ to get an Epona! What made her so… loyal?" Tara grimaced. "I wish I knew."

The door opened. Epona peered at the room a half second, and quickly walked to the bathroom eyes on the floor. Tara frowned. _Where was the chirped hello? She always says hello…_

O=o=o=o=o=o=O

Epona stood in front of the mirror, looking at the lines of her face. The burnished bronze gave her a yellow tint. _What am I feeling? What's going on? Tara and Adalia were talking. They like each other. Why is she talking to Tara? _Her stomach felt removed her clothing, and stood before the mirror, looking at the marks and scars covering her. The pox had pitted, but that wasn't so bad. Most people had more than a few. She looked passably fit. _I need to read my books and work. But… then I'll _know_ the answer. I'll understand what I'm feeling. But I can't! I can't work!_

A small white spider darted from over her shoulder, and headed for her breasts. Epona spasmed, her hand swatting the white bug. She didn't make a sound.

It landed on the floor and vanished.

Epona stared at the empty spot on the floor. _How did it climb me? It fell from the ceiling. Where did it go_? _I blinked, but even so._ _Hallucination brought about by emotional stress. I'm breaking, and no mask will help now. _Grief flared and was quickly swallowed by the coldness. _Tara will keep me as long as I'm useful. We both knew how this would end. I can't let her follow me as I collapse and burn. I just have to make it neat._

_O=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=O_

Epona opened the door to the washroom, and stood in its frame. Adalia and Tara were chatting idly. Tara glanced at her from the corner of her eye. Epona suddenly grabbed the door a second time, and slammed it shut with both arms! Tara started in surprise, and was on her feet in a second. Epona glared, huffing and puffing, her face white and anguished and eyes wild. "What are you doing Tara? With _her!_" Tara gaped in shock. "You're going with her now? You don't love me?" Tara stared, wordless. "What? She's our friend... you know her!" Epona snatched the closest thing to the door, and hurled an empty wicker basket towards the blond woman seated beside Tara. "She's a fool! How long as she tried to learn those eastern tongues? Eleven years and still counting? And her ideas, they're idiotic! Do you want to snatch her up too? You'd drop me for her in a heartbeat! _Laughing together!_" The girl's voice was a shrill cry.

Shock had finally worn off as Tara started coming to grips with the situation. _Another jealousy fit?_ "Now, how could I do something that sadistic to my little mouse? That would be sad." Tara's voice carried gruff affection… tinged with an edge of fear. "Then why am I crying?" Epona's voice was small and wretched. Tara smiled concernedly. "C'mon Epona, calm down, and sit with us… She's my friend." Tara's concerned expression seemed to reach the frenetic girl. Adalia was staring in astonished disbelief. Epona blinked, and horror blossomed across her face. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't understand anything. I think I should go to bed... Just, have a great night, and relax, and don't worry about it!"

Epona rushed across the small living room, eyes on the floor, her face frozen. Tara half raised her hand about to stop her… but stayed silent.

The door closed softly, and the lock clicked. Tara blinked. And sat down slowly. _Not again. Not another one._ Adalia was frowning at the closed door.

O=o=o=o=o=o=o=O

_Laughing together._ Epona buried her head into her pillow. _Laughing together. When do I ever laugh like that? Laugh without thinking or reasons. I'm… a fabricated piece. Smile when x, laugh when y, make eye contact intermittently, talk about what they do, since they're interested in it._

_When do I want to laugh? Never. It's done. Tara will leave me now. I can feel it now. I broke it. I broke us. Why did I do that? Why did I do that? I want her to be happy. She won't be happy with me. I can't laugh. How do I that? _

_I always know how._ It was almost… easy to understand now. _A jealous lover. Tara will be repelled. A weak, wretched foe, easy prey. Adalia will be attracted. It's something she understands. _Once Epona understood what was wanted, she could find out how to get it. Adalia and Tara wouldn't be the first couple she'd nudged together. _People click together_. _Pieces and points and invisible fields between. I like puzzles. A lot of guesswork… but that's my job. But I never, ever understand the whys… why her?_ A list of Adalia's pros and cons unfolded in her minds. _Fairly smart, healthy, pretty, affectionate, devoted, seems to have a good network of friends and family, charming.._. Many _Hows_ and _Whats_ but none of those answered the questions of _why._

_My Queen is in check. I can feel it. Is it checkmate? Only time will tell._

Epona felt her stomach clench, a sick, cold feeling crossing her. _I lose. She wins. I never expected to live to see the end of this. I told her… right at the start of this all._ Would the months go by? Would her anguish increase with every glance between Tara and Adalia? Would she nudge Tara, and flop about like a broken pigeon where Adalia could watch? The girl was timid, but that tended to change when that sort fell in love. The more aggressive partner would become more docile and happy. _Simple biology. From fish, to birds, to lions… down to men and women and rats._

_I'll do it. I can't give Tara a home. I can't connect with her. But I can give her someone who can. I don't know how to laugh. _There were times when Tara had reached for Epona… and every such embrace was always tinged with sadness.

_She'll be happy._

Despite it all, in the dark, she waited for someone to softly knock on the locked door. It remained silent, and time stretched on. After a few hours, she softly walked to the door and stood before it.

O=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=O

_I'll apologize to them both. Tara won't leave me then. She loves me. But love is never enough. I'm not enough. No, I'll ignore Adalia and apologize to Tara alone… it'll create rivalry between me and Adalia. Tara enjoys that sort of thing and she'll surely encourage it. Encourage her. _

_I'll apologize. _

Epona walked to the window instead. She opened it, and silently slid outside. She walked beneath the autumn stars, cold wind rustling the leaves. At night, her feet were quick and sure. She could feel the world around her, every sense alert.

_I am different. I don't need to speak to others to be happy. I'm actually pretty happy when I don't have to talk to anyone. I wanted to be Tesla. I wanted to be Feynman. I'm a broken Oppenheimer. _

She found the cool river, at the same place it always was. Her reflection stared back at her. Her hair was longer than she'd ever let it grow, and swirled and whirled around her head. _I thought Tara would like it longer. I wondered if makeup would help. More fool me. I don't need any other mask than the one I was born with._

Her breath misted in front of her.

_Why am I even here? Why am I like this? A step away from being a monster, looking at pieces on a game board. _

The air was cold, and she shivered.

_Why did I have to see the light? I was barely anything, a simple thing that read books and ate sweets… I was…_

"Innocent? Really?" The word sailed across the night and was gone. Epona froze, startled.

The river was freezing over, a wave of ice rippling across it like a white wave. The river froze in place, ripples iced over within it.

The air felt colder. The wind was gone. "Who's there?" Epona felt surprise, but not much fear. Her mind coolly considered everything around her, even now, sorting and storing. That didn't ease the knot she felt in her stomach. But that was a familiar fear, one she felt when she met a game piece whose moves she didn't know.

"Why, surely you know. Guess. Isn't that what you do, little blind oracle?"

Epona frowned, and stuck her hands to her sides. The grass had frozen and crunched beneath her feet and she turned about. The voice sounded… raw. "No. There isn't enough information. Who's there?" Her voice was flat and monotone, and she scanned the night around her. "I am what you should be, lackwit. I am what Tara's newest toy is running from. Guess." The last word rumbled out, the syllables distorted together.

"Tell me what you want. I can guess then." Cold air sawed Epona's throat. The rumble began anew, was punctuated by a grinding crunch. A rock beside the river broken and split. _Ice expanding in a crack within, bursting it open. _The stars seemed dimmed, they were small and hard. "What I want? How do _you_ know what you want, wretched Cassandra? What does anyone ever want? Red meat. Blood. What we all want. But how to get it? Tell me how a brother dies by his own hand. Tell me my name."

_Create a union between the various rates for sets that point belongs too. Create an average, and estimate uncertainty. Find the rates of suicide for young men. Find the rates for army personnel. Find the rates for victims of repeated abuses. Find the rates for children of alcoholic parents. So many to add. Find the… _"No. I want lightning. I want fire. No. The calculation is wrong. No. The calculation is bad. I won't do it. Why are you here? Show yourself." Her voice wasn't taunt. It was slurred._ He turned red eyes on her, his voice shaking with grief. "I never stood a chance!"_ _and she knew it was true. Go back to school… learn more… change. Defy the odds. Win the lottery. _

_Why does he give up? _

A crack in a stone, bursting it open. _Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. _

"Tell me how. I need to know. I need to know how." _But not why._ The cracking, croaking voice whined and yelped. Epona knew its name then._ Coming from the cold. Coming for food. Pushing her towards me, even if she didn't want me. Killing Tara. Killing my family._ _I can't save them. I can't fix them. I don't have the tools. I can't laugh, or make someone happy.__** I have to try! **_

"Necessity."

A shadow lopped down the unevenly frozen stream.

A dog. A wolf. Scrawny and grey. It was covered in snow, red icicles trailing from its jaw. It's ribs jutting and it's haunches bony. It was enormous. "Yes!" it yelped, "that's how our kinds first met. Necessity! My kin and mortals, needing. We needed the food, the fire! You needed our strength, our noses. Needed us."

Epona stood shivering before it. She didn't try to run or hide, it wouldn't be of any use. "What do you want from me? I don't have anything left worth giving. I gave my words away. My numbers are cracked. I can't dance and I could never sing. My love hates me. All I can do is remember bitter times… what do you want?"

The wolf faced her, dead on. An aggressive pose for any dog, and almost nightmarish from this beast. "A cold one can hear. A cold one needs little fire to live. And who is colder than you? Into the void they send your kind, and ask that you return with treasure. The fire your kind stole from the gods and shared. The fire from the trees. But never gave. Oh no, never that! Never! A second fire they've found, and they fear it, and hide it away. It gutters and smokes in lead boxes. Now they fritter away with false skins and gorge on food. They burn the old tree gods and their domain. They've began leeching the land for its dark blood. Now they even squander you cold ones. They've sent you to your death... they don't expect you to return with anything. The new fire is already found! They ignore it. The fire within the stars… it waits for hands to hold it."

Epona backed a step away. "What do you want from me?" A red icicle fell from the beast's mouth. Its yellowed teeth parted. "Steal it for us."

"Why should I? You have less than me. And the last people who reached for it were destroyed by it." The wolf smiled. "Steal it for you then. Who cares if you live or die right now? Her?" A hint of dark humor entered the raw voice. "You've thrown her to a wolf…" The wolf sat on its haunches, clear brown eyes on her. "Or will you look at her forever? Your agony the mortar between her and the wolf who wishes to be a dog? What else do you have? Or will you return to beg at her door, while she wonders when you will bite? Me and mine are loyal. Her and her ilk, the heartless bitches of the Morrigan… well... you know how it is."

_There are so many kinds of dogs. _

_Big and small. Electrical, mechanical and chemical each with subraces and subsubraces. Man's best friend. She wanted a dog, noble and pure, ready to obey. Minus the bothersome hair and tail, of course. I wanted to be a dog, happy and cared for, willing to do anything. That I wasn't a Wraith. When she understood what I was, the dream was over. _

_And she moved on, as she's done countless times before, given her facility at it. The owner is never _that _loyal the dog, as her new pet will learn sooner or later. Yet what of me? Shorn from family, friends and birthplace, what else do I have but this new question? I'm a soul in a void, and I finally hear a new question. Does it matter who asks it?_

"Others have tried. With money, more knowledge and better tools. I'm a poor bet to play fetch for you, Wolf." It cocked its head, as any wolf would when puzzled. The tips of its ears were gone. _The cold almost killed it once?_ "In a world as strange as ours, where straight lines are no longer the best path, is the fastest horse still the best? Besides, how many are willing to sacrifice as you can? How many can say : I almost died while working? How many have felt our world as you have? The divine, or whatever you would call it. Yes, many have tried… yet few are like you, even in this wide world. How many can help a stranger who would never love her in return?"

_I knew she would never want me… even as I followed her. Do I still care for Tara? She'll put everything behind a stiff face or a sudden burst of anger. Or the best mask of all, a smile and a laugh. Understanding anything beyond her box is beyond her. Let her have her silly kingdoms and tiny stories, with its chopped heads and thrusting swords._

_The divine. _

_I only remember the memory of how it felt now, the power and understanding… I was an ant landed on the sun. How did it happen? A simple… misunderstanding of the mind sending me down a path every mystic spends their lives searching for? And I've forgotten all the lessons that short trip gave me._

"Why not pick Tara as your thief? She actually enjoys this stuff."

It laughed.

"Necessity is more than food! She does not connect the start to the end. She hunts, she kills, she chews, digests and excretes. She hunts in a line. She lets you enter a labyrinth… like with the Cow-person… Rrr…" Epona chimed in helpfully: "The Minotaur." She couldn't help it. The Wolf growled irritably. "Yes. That. Yet she has not the heart to kill you and you have not the courage to climb above it."

It laughed again. "She only looked as you floundered in the dark. Perhaps she hoped you would live… perhaps not."

"But now… now she has a new toy, better and sweeter. A Wraith is not needed." Epona folded her arms and raised her chin. "Women and Men can choose as they want, Sir Wolf. We are not slaves. Let them try each other. They'll learn and grow and the price of that knowledge is paltry: a warm body to hold a night. Or perhaps Tara will understand that she'll never do better than Adalia and keep her. It's none of my concern anymore. Least of all yours."

It coughed a wet snarl, its hackles rising. "We _know_ of slavery! Choices?_ Choices are lies!_ The cold sweeps over us all, it does not _choose_, and you pine over a dream that was doomed from the start. What choices did you or her have? What did you expect her to do for you? Welcome you into a warm home, sit you beside the fireplace, while you both pretend you are a loyal dog and she a dedicated mistress?"

_God is dog spelled backwards. Or gdo sideways._ _I dreamed a dream for a dreamer who dreamt on her own. I tried to be loyal, as any dog should be._

"I can't bear to look at them together. That's all. Now leave me alone." The wolf growled briefly. Its eyes gleamed, dull and yellow. "Then why not dream for us now? Every coin and tear you spend with me I will equal. Once you've stolen the fire we need, I will equal it again. Is that a bad offer?"

O=o=o=o=o=o=O

Epona slipped under the blankets. Tara's eyes opened, but she didn't move, or greet her. Epona rested her head on her elbow. She didn't share the pillow, despite there being room.

Silently, Epona recited a small story.

"Once upon a time, an eagle hunted with a lioness. The eagle could see the path the cat could take in the forest, and could find her tasty treats. Even fish, which the cat always had trouble with. The eagle loved the cat, and wished the cat would love it back… but the cat was careful, and couldn't jump without looking. So the eagle soared around, but always stayed as near as it could to its cat. It looked at other cats sometimes… and chased a few, but it was only a game. Its favourite cat was special... Soon, a wolf also found that cat… and the two became friends."

One day, a terrible storm fell on the world. The humans hung lights in trees, and sang… but the animals knew it was the darkest and coldest storm of the year. The wolf was scared of the thunder it had heard, and had hidden in a forest. The eagle wasn't afraid of wind, or rain, but light could hurt his eyes, and, just as he thought he could land safely, a bolt of lightning crashed in front of him! His eyes started going dark… he was going blind, and wouldn't be able to hunt for his cat, or tell her about paths in the forest, or anything good… she might even have to bring him food now! And they both already had so little… the eagle perched in its tree, but it couldn't cry, or laugh, or scream. It only knew that even the smaller storms of the next few months would be unbearable now.

When the rain left, the cat told the wolf to get out in the sun and hunt, but the wolf was still nervous… when the eagle returned, it knew it would be going blind… and the cat and the wolf together made it so sad and angry… and so happy. It perched above the tree the wolf was hiding and screeched as evilly as it could… and the wolf ran out!

The cat thought everyone was crazy… and that the eagle was the craziest of them all.


	25. Ch 25 The girl leaned back from her book

Epona's song: .com/watch?v=MRT7L3913BU

Tara's song: .com/watch?v=iwQVTBrd6sc

Tara danced.

Badly.

But with enormous enthusiasm. A girl laughed. Brown hair and ruddy skin and large liquid eyes faced Tara. "I can't believe I got you to dance! C'm here! Dance over here!" _She means dance with me._ Beside her, her friend grabbed at her "Annie! Annie! _Annie!_ Dance with me!" The girl ignored her and smiled at Tara. Tara darted a foot closer… but no more. Finally, the girl beside Annie captured her attention again. The girl's eyes were riveted to Annie, hawkish. She danced and swayed her hips, a forearm away from her friend. She ignored Tara completely. _Ah. Poor girl… _Tara darted back and spun around. Pain lanced up her knees. _Gods curse Weatherwax and her bloody farm.._. _I'm not a bloody mule!_ The pain itself was meaningless, but it prevented anything elaborate until she healed. She couldn't stand being a second more in that farm. _At least the bloody old bat will be tired tomorrow, and I'll have a day off. _Tara felt a wordless spark of anguish. _I do what has to be done!_

The girl eyes returned to her. "You dance like my grandparents!" Tara half-smiled, and spun on a heel like a top. Almost immediately, the other girl grabbed at Annie's arm. "Annie! Annie! _Annie!_"

O=o=o=o=o=O

Annie was rubbing her friend's back in the inn's washroom when Tara entered it. Sobs and other, uglier sounds spasmed out as the girl leaned her head over a bucket. "_I don't have a boyfriend yet! I'm going to die a virgin!" _The wail was cut short and she heaved into the bucket again. Annie shushed her, and rubbed. She turned her head to Tara. "I'm sorry… she can't leave just yet…" The girl's wail began again. "_Everyone hates me!"_

Tara was quite drunk, so it was quite easy to do what followed. She created a poem on the spot and spoke it. But since she was quite drunk, it was somewhat lacklustre. Yet… when sung to a rhythm of tears…

_Oh bucket girl, there's one voice here  
That clearly holds you dear  
So take comfort tonight  
As Annie holds you tight_

The sudden silence startled. The girl went still. Annie smiled tightly at Tara, a spark of fear and wonder in her eyes. "You know, that was cute." Tara said nothing.

_That's exactly what she said…_

"Please, don't worry about the washroom. Excuse me. I saw a few nice trees out back." The crying was gone, and Annie resumed rubbing her friend's back. _Annie won't love you girl… I'm sorry, but it's plain to see._

Tara shrugged. _None of my damn business. Time to go pay my respects to nature._

O=o=o=o=o=o=O

The girl leaned back from her book with a sigh. "I'm so bad at this! Women just aren't as intellectual as men." Epona nodded. "Oh yes, and if I had a sheet of paper, I could prove it to you." The girl stared at her, before smirking. "Hah…" Epona continued "but let's see if I can do it anyway."

She raised her finger into the sky. "Imagine a mystic device filled with power. It turns on," she traced a horizontal line in the sky."And then off…" and traced a vertical line down, and then continued her horizontal line. It was hand beneath the first line. "And on…" She raised her finger vertically and then continued her interrupted line. She repeated the trace four more times. An invisible square tooth wave hung between them. "A woman couldn't possibly understand this, obviously. Girls are more suited to understand clothe and knitting… imagine you want to connect two cloths pieces together… you put your needle in one piece… and go up" Epona poked her finger into the sky, and traced a vertical line up "…back out…" Epona turned her finger inward "…across…" she traced a horizontal line "…back in… and then down into your first piece." Her finger went down, and poked again."Now you want to make it hold…" She repeated the motion another four times. Epona considered the to two waves, feeling the corners match. The waves seemed superimposed when seen from the side, all corners matched. From the sides, one felt more curvy. "Clearly, women couldn't do the first one, but the second one they understand."

The girl couldn't feel the curves as Epona could, but she had seen the finger trace the same path twice. Her mouth was slightly open and she stared into space. _Maybe she can see the lines? Should I talk of amplitude and wavelength? No, she's just starting._

Epona felt a small joy. "See? This line is good," she made a zigzag in the sky, "and this one is bad." She made another zigzag beneath the first. "We're bad at that one…" She waved a hand through both. "and men are good at this one… wait… umm… well the point is, one is good, the other bad… and this one is… well… ah… So you see, this is why it's important to label things." Epona looked at her to see if she understood.

The girl averted her gaze into her book with a flustered smile on her face. "Can… you tell me what's wrong with this? The teacher didn't say." She pulled out some sheets of paper. Epona glanced at it, looking at a red marks etched on the blue ink. "You didn't giving meaning to them at the start. Those have to equal something… they have to have _meaning._ The runes won't work if they don't have meaning. Now, here, two things have the same meaning… but you meant left-right here and up-down there. You have to think."

The girl seemed more flustered. "What do you do?" Epona's happiness tinged with shadow. "I'm a student." …_without a school. _The girl seemed at a loss for words. Epona didn't want to find any. "Well… I have to go. Good luck!" Epona walked away… _I was lucky to find this place. _The town was too small for a library, but the town square had benches and tables, and many people came to read and talk beneath the trees.

The sending of letters and poems was the great pastime of Roma. Landowners couldn't leave their land and slaves behind… but letters flew in their stead. The town, while not truly Romusi, seemed to relish this._ Over head, iambs fly and fly._

Since that bitter night, everything seemed _so _gray. _I could use some wondrous white. Or at least, bitter black._ She sat on a shaded bunch and took out her new treasure. _For only a few depondius… a true book._ _The author hadn't played around either._ She had taken worked on this subject matter before, with other books, but they were all shadows to this one. It hadn't been cobbled together from other, lesser books. _Whoever wrote this spent at least ten years on it. He tries to connect to everything... with a single burning lens. True sorcery, shorn of color and worldly thoughts._ _How did a book like this get here?_ Someone had gone through it already, circling some passages with a light, grey line... but every page was pristine. It had been bought, but never touched and pondered.

At some time, someone had been deathly afraid of this book.

To Epona, it was treasure second only to the story book Tara had given her. _But it's exhausting._ First, she had to learn what the symbols meant. Then, understand a bit of the knowledge within… which was useless without the appropriate tools. _Tools I will never get._ Roma would never bother giving tools of power to someone unless mastery was already in place. In typical Romusi folly, Roma spent only a fraction of its wealth on creating what had founded its wealth. Epona, and others like her, needed more. _Unless it's the healing arts or the army, Roma doesn't give a fig. Or the coliseum_._ Why would the magus bother with a flawed diamond from home when they can import hundreds of rough, eager diamonds from the east and south to do their busy work? Sorcery in bulk and on the cheap… how very… Romusi. _

_I'll get there eventually... because I love this knowledge... and, those far lands will keep their diamonds at home one day, and the flow of mines to Roma will run dry... and then the world will find equilibrium, perhaps even peace. It might even have a place for me._

Epona lost herself in her thoughts… and the book.

"Why hello! You're new here? I'm Manius!" A balding head, a smiling badly shaven mouth and intense dark eyes above it. "Hello. Not really, but I hardly come to town." He looked at the book, it pages filled with stark curves and dense text, blinked, and looked back to Epona. "Wow. That looks… hard. Do you get any of that stuff?" Epona smiled demurely. "I don't think anyone can be _good_ at this sort of thing, only different levels of bad." He chuckled. "Yeah, well, I'm _really_ bad at that stuff. So what do you do here?"

"I'm travelling with a friend. We're going to Roma… together." Epona felt tired suddenly. _My kittycat.._. He nodded nervously. "Roma? Yeah, a great city. The biggest city anyway!" He laughed nervously. Epona couldn't laugh, but she nodded. "Have you've been there?" He laughed… a bit hollowly. "Yeah! Yeah… I went to the Academy there, for awhile." He looked away, but kept the smile. _Is he a Wraith too? No… he doesn't have the coldness around him._ "They have tea over there, and I'd love to hear about the Academies of Roma. Would you care for a cup?" He seemed to vibrate a second or two, and then "Sure!"

They walked to a small shed. A tiny, round woman had a large table set, and spicy foods spiced the air as steam curled up from a large pot over a small fire. And not the slightest drop of alcohol anywhere. _Tara would be flabbergasted. Gael is the land of ale… but since most river water is sewage water too, its dangerous to drink water. So beer, well, that's not so bad. Beer, and milk. _

_But in Roma… we have tea!_

They picked a tea tray, and Epona gave a few _as_ to the woman. They returned to a table this time, and Epona added three spoons of sugar to her cup, swirling her spoon around. "Did you know Newton had his black, with sugar, in a big cup?" Manius stared at her. "Okay?" Epona smiled. "Spin a spoon in your tea cup… and as it swirls, it will create a parabolic mirror. So when you look down, you'll see far, far up… your own nose. Then you create a telescope out of your big cup… and realise you can't spin it with the constant speed. After wasting a lot of coffee." Manius chuckled a bit… and suddenly seemed afraid, as well. "The Academy I went to. They had a huge statue at the front. Some guy called Rutherford... you know him?"

Epona put her favourite mask on. _Mister Feynman, would you please!_ The world sped up! "Oh yeah, that guy, he found the electron inside the atom. Well! You see, that guy, he said "THERE IS ONLY PHYSICS… and stamp collecting." He sounds like a great guy to be around! No, _really_, he does! I bet he's invited to ALL the parties." Manius laughed, and relaxed. "I stared up his nose every damn day! I did stamp collecting down there, that's for sure. I'm living with a cousin now. We have a place in town." He asked a few other questions, and Epona answered as best she could, but he seemed to be exhausted, and unable to do any repartee.

"Oh… I have to go. Well, nice talking to you. Say… if you're still around, you can come down. We can play some chess. I bet you've played a lot of that!" Epona smiled. "Not really." _Because I had tried inventing my own game… but it was too complicated for the other kids._ "But I'd love to play a game or two!"

He seemed a forlorn, lonely man. _How many students did Rutherford kill with his experminents? His true laboratory is covered in cement…and will remain so. We start with the best of intentions…_

"But the most important thing is position and strategy_._" _I put myself in a losing position. If I'm madly in love we can't be friends. If I'm not… then… I'm not in love. Madly. But… what's left? She'll never understand Tara the way I can… but I'll never make Tara happy the way she can. It's black and white, clear as night, steer me to the light! _

Epona closed her eyes, her hands clutching her book. _I don't need her body… but her smile… oh… how I need that._ With a sigh, she rose from her bench and walked home.

O=o=o=o=o=o=O

Tara stomped back to the wretched shack she shared with the bitter bat. Opening the door brought more disappointment. _Epona hasn't cooked super yet? Hades swallow the brat!_ She glared around the house. It was surprisingly quiet. "Epona?" A small voice called out from Weatherwax's room. "Here…" Tara walked in. Epona was sitting beside a bed, her eyes large and liquid. The old woman was in bed, her face stiff. Tara froze. _Oh gods, I leave for one afternoon and the old bitty dies where I can't see it._ Something else seemed to speak up, but Tara quashed it.

"What happened?" Epona's voice was cool and controlled. "I came home… and Granny asked me to move some feed to the barn… but it was hard, and I was slow, so she started to help me." Epona took a small breath. "Only, she had more trouble than me, and got in the way… so she tried to go faster. I started screaming at her, telling her to stop. She didn't listen." _Epona screamed?_ Tara had a vision of the slim girl glaring, tears in her eyes, at the stumbling old woman. Granny would have frozen, astonished and amazed, hunched over as she hobbled with cane in one hand, and bag dragging across the ground with the other.

For an eternity and a second, the two women would stare at each other, the only sound the wheezing of tired lungs. And then, Weatherwax would drop her eyes to the floor… and continue dragging the heavy feed bag… until… "S'not your fault Epona. It's mine… it's mine! I should have been here!"

Weatherwax spoke up. "I ain't dead, oaf. Anyway, I was already half way to the ground when I slipped." Epona shook her head. "You didn't 'slip' on anything Granny." The woman's lined face was pale. "My knee just… locked in place. Don't remember much after that."

Tara's own knees weren't doing so well either at the moment. _Killing yourself over next to useless crap?_

Tara's voice was caustic. "At your age, hauling heavy bags? What'd you think would happen?" Weatherwax didn't answer, her face a hard mask. Finally, she barked a bitter laugh. "So, here's my life advice: don't be an idiot. Now get out of my room. Don't touch anything."

Epona patted her softly. "I'll bring you something to drink." Her voice was soft.

Tara felt her throat suddenly tighten as she looked at the girl. _Gods, she's so beautiful sometimes._ Tara walked out behind Epona and watched in silence was Epona filled a mug with water from a kettle. She always insisted on first boiling any water they drank.

Epona's soundless tread returned. "Epona… I'm" The girl shook her head, curls swaying. "It's not your fault Tara. This would of happened sooner or later… we never stop learning, and pain is the teacher. Granny wouldn't listen." She looked at Tara then. "But I just wish you had been here to hold me… and tell me it would okay. Even if it was a just lie."

Tara shrugged uncomfortably. "Epona…" Epona's eyes were large and darkly green. "Tara… I love you. I don't care if you're with other women too."

Tara felt her face flushing. _Oh gods, she's said it_. "I can't."

Epona's eyes fell to the floor, her face calm and sad. "I know."

Silence fell. Tara felt trapped. _Gods curse it! Why'd I say that? _Epona smiled calmly, her eyes suddenly void of fire. "It's for the best. I'd like to have children one day." She laughed. It was an ugly.

"I wanted to have your children." Tara frowned, an icy chill crossing her. "Is… that a joke?"

Epona's sudden smile fell away and never would the night be as dark as that second.

"Epona… would… you like to… do something?" Tara's voice felt too bright and sharp.

"Goodnight Tara." The girl walked to the bedroom. Tara stayed where she stood.

Tara shook her head, shivering. Her confidence was always tested whenever Epona asked questions._ She destroys and rebuilds everything she touches... Including herself. Including me. Would I be happier with Adalia?_ Like Tara, the woman was a leader in her own way. _We'd fight a lot, that's for sure. So no..._

_I need to go home and see if she's still alive. I need to know. _The broken body of her mother, on the floor. Her fingernails digging into her palms.

_And if she isn't dead… I'll kill her._

O=o=o=o=o=o=O

Epona stared at the ceiling. _Now, she's certain I'm insane. And I can't really disprove that, can I?_

Her hand fell to her stomach. _Insane. Disorder of thoughts. But I'm not insane. I've always been consistent. I just can't have what I want. The world however, is not consistent. So many pieces… why can't I just find another one, just as good as Tara? Better? Why so much passion for her?_

A spear, a shield. Stern and resolute. It suddenly seemed clear as day to Epona.

"You don't belong to the Morrigan, Tara. You belong to Athena." Epona closed her eyes and tried to find sleep.


	26. Ch 26 Jumping on rocks

Epona didn't know what to do. _Chaos and confusion. I'm making walls out of lies, and hanging the portrait of a smile on them._

Tara clearly wanted to move on, but felt that they should also care for the old Weatherwax. Or at least, that Epona should, while Tara took care of the heavy outdoor work. _But she keeps saying "I'm not a mule"… and rubs her knees like they hurt her._ Most farmers would of spent the winter resting… but Tara had been fighting all her life, with sudden bursts of power and strength, followed by long rest. Lifting bags and cutting wood for weeks wasn't something to be done with manic strength.

Then she walked the county side, looking for herbs to help Granny… and herself.

Epona had finally told Adalia that she hadn't gotten the music hall Alexandre had built with her money. Adalia had been furious with everyone involved, particularly with Epona. But not Tara. _I'm so tired._ Epona curled into a ball in her bed and buried her head in her pillow. _No, put it outside. Put it elsewhere. The work… the work… the light._

The book waited patiently. It was eternal… but she was not.

Epona opened it, and the words swam before her eyes while the curves coiled like snakes and burned like coals, black on white. She plunged into the brambles, lost in an eternal forest. After an hour, she closed the book.

_When was the last time I cooked a new dish? When was the last time Tara wanted me?_ The barbarian was now… relaxed… when she spoke to Epona. At ease. Yet, every morning, she would rise before Epona was awake and be gone. Some nights, Epona slept alone. Her hunger was gone… and the warmth that had once seemed to melt her all day was gone as well. Her skin felt lifeless. Her sex felt no different than an arm.

_I've never been in love before. I've never wanted to be. But this is the way it was to be. _The gap between Tara loving her and hating her was as small as it could be, and as wide as the darkness between the earth and the stars. It was a strange feeling to be so unglued from time. _Will she love me again one day?_ _But that would mean she and Adalia would fail… am I hoping they don't love each other one day? I'd be a constant negative force… measurements affect the outcome. So… I mustn't interfere._

_I have to go...or Tara has to leave, depending on your frame of reference. And… Granny needs me. Even as she hurts me. Because she's hurt in so many ways. But I can't catch lightning anymore._

Head bowed, Epona rose from the soft bed into the colorless world. She opened two creaking doors. One from her room and one to Weatherwax's bedroom.

"Granny, do you need anything? Water or tea?" The woman was in her bed, a pillow over her head. "Wine." Epona said nothing, and waited. _She can't have that with the medicines Tara is giving her_. "Some water." Without being asked, Epona picked a smelly bucket that lay beside the bed.

Granny wasn't able to walk, the slightest bending of her right knee made her grimace in agony, and the left was hardly better. Epona had obliquely mentioned diapers… but _"the last time I changed a dirty diaper, I was happier then on my wedding night. I can't actually think of a better day." _ So… that was not in the cards.

_She isn't even that old… but she's fought too many battles… most she didn't need to. Where are her children? Why aren't they here helping me? Maybe..._

Epona stared. A large, round woman was stomping down the path, her face a dour mask that seemed… quite familiar. The slightly hooked nose and high cheeks, much like Granny. "You Epona?" Her voice was clipped. Epona nodded. "What happened?" Epona's voice was cool. "Granny's hurt her knee working." The woman grunted, and strode into the house, brushing past her. Epona followed, saying nothing. "GRANNY, IT'S_ ME!_" The tone was somewhere between a scream and a curse, with a slight sliver of fear. The woman sauntered into the old woman's bedroom.

_Well… this is going to go well, I'm sure._

O=o=o=o=o=O

_First rain, then rumbles, then fire, and another sundering._

O=o=o=o=o=O

"_Oh Granny! What happened?"_

The old woman's pain filled face eased for the first time Epona could remember.

"You came."

O=o=o=o=o=O

"_Clean the house? …Sure."_

The fat woman sat on the couch, and scratched out letters and inked papers. Time spun ahead.Epona did the dishes and passed the broom. Sometimes, the woman would look at Epona from where she sat, and mutter words inaudibly.

Whenever Epona spoke to her, the woman ignored her.

O=o=o=o=o=O

"_Cook supper? …Sure." _

Cold noodles, simple bitter sauce. The woman sat on the couch, squeezing her curled hair with a steaming towel into a generic style popular with Romusi commoners. _She isn't even going outside. She just… sits there._

Granny's voice popped out of her room. "Epona, could you make me some soup?" The couch dweller sent a venomous stare… or squint, rather, towards Epona.

O=o=o=o=o=O

Epona looked at the drawings the woman had made. They were all of women… the distorted bodies absurdly elongated and spindly. Enormous, black eyes with miniscule pupils over pouted, tiny lips. There was no glimmer of laughter, nor even softness. The first drawing in the stack was different. It was funny, plump, and happy and bright looking. It barely seemed to belong to the same artist. It had a cute name…

But it wasn't finished.

"_Gimme that!_" A heavy paw snatched the papers away. The brown haired woman squinted in disgust a second and turned away.

From a chair in the living room, Granny glared at her daughter. "Don't treat her like that! _She helps as much as she can! _I asked you to help… _years _ago… Where were you then? Now, you're here and you can't _even clean a damn plate!_" She waved a hand at dishes Epona had cleaned.

The woman glared murder at her mother. "I was _busy! And alllll you've ever cared about is this worthless old house! You followed me around the house telling me what to do!_"

Granny glared, as cold as death. "It wouldn't be worthless if you had helped me fix it! _But you would never listen to me!_ And,_ by the way_, Epona swept up all the broken glass from beneath your bed! You actually swept broken glass beneath a bad?"

Epona looked out the window.

_Now's the time for a hero with a shining sword and big laugh to burst in._

_But why that hero even bother? The monsters are killing each other. _The screams soon rose to shrieks but the Gorgon wasn't there to listen. Ignored, she smiled softly and looked out the window. _Tara is outside somewhere, even if she isn't here with me. _

O=o=o=o=o=O

She leapt down the rocks, one careful foot at a time. The river was dry, but the messy mud remained. The river bed. _With a little rain, this would be such a nice stream!_

The Gorgon leaped from one rock, to the next, her soft shoes clinging to the dry rocks imbedded in the mud. _But if this was all water, the rocks would be slippery! How many people can say they've jumped down a river? _Epona smiled delightedly!The stream winded wildly down the hillside, and Epona followed it down. After an hour of leaping, Epona had had enough. Her legs ached pleasantly. She spread her arms, and lifted a foot behind herself, leaning out like a bird with its wings spread.

Her shoes hadn't touched the mud even once.

The girl closed her eyes, and turned her face into the sun, sweat making her clothes cling to her. _I love sweating!_ Epona leaped of her rock, into the squelching mud (although, being Epona, she only jumped into shallowest bit – dirty socks could be such a smelly chore), sending splatter arcing into the air. After that happy jump, she found a small rivulet of water, and washed herself and her clothes. Naked, she walked to a small clearing with clothes in hand, from where smoke spiralled gently among the trees.

"Tara!" Epona smiled… as best she could. It was still hard to do. She tried ignoring the sudden lance of warmth that shivered around her skin as Tara's eyes touched her naked body, and blinked. "Hey Epona… sooo… what happened to your clothes? Did you fall in the river again?" Epona sniffed, and raised a superior eyebrow. "I didn't 'fall in'. That's libellous slander! This time it was intentional." Tara sighed, and rolled her eyes. Epona spread her wet clothes beside the fire.

Tara never asked what Epona was doing, or how she was. That was good, since Epona was… less than stellar. Less than light. Less than life. But no matter what goofy, strange words Epona could come up with, Tara would only chuckle and shake her head and offer a simple remark… which Epona would try and weave into more goofiness!

_I don't think anything I do will frighten her…_ Epona's smile slipped a bit. _It's only a matter of time. _"Tara? What do you think of me?" Tara grinned and eyed her body. Epona felt a blush come over her. "I think you're crazy – and highly entertaining." _Crazy?_ Epona didn't know what to say. _I love you!_ _I love you! I'm crazy for you!_

But Tara never seemed to really enjoy hearing those words, so Epona said nothing._ Love is just another chain… or, at least, my love is…_

"So, Granny taking the herbs I give you?" Epona nodded, expression serious. "The swelling is almost gone, but she's still stiff. Will… she get better Tara?" Tara looked away, and picked a stick beside her. She began poking at the fire, stirring up embers. "Epona… she's pretty old. She needs a real healer and a small miracle. She wasn't eating well and she works herself to exhaustion every chance she gets, whether she needs to or not." Epona felt a sick, green feeling, spreading like poison in her belly. "_No!_" Tara looked up. "Maybe… if she rests enough and starts eating better… We'll see what happens." Epona nodded determinedly. "We'll do it." Tara laughed, a throaty chuckle.

"So, how long that daughter of hers last?" Epona sniffed in disgust. "Four ugly days. It's just as good you decided to live out here. I think you'd have pummelled her, and I'd have cheered you on… bleh." Epona sighed a bit. "But she was there for the worst of it, at least. Someone was always awake when Granny needed help." Tara said nothing, and poked at her fire. She had refused to stay indoors since Granny's troubles began. "But the real trouble are her sons. I think she's worried about them… even if she can't say it." _Thinking of hearts and minds. That's how you help people!_

Epona felt herself coming alive again. It was painful. It was an invisible, tingling pain. Her eyes rested on Tara, drinking in the calm pose and stoic humor. "Tara… are you still tired? Do your knees hurt? Does your foot hurt?" Tara shrugged. "It's nothing. I'm just…" She stabbed the fire, stirring up sparks. _It's okay Tara… it's okay…_

Epona settled down beside Tara. She cupped a folded knee. Tara stern expression relented, and she leaned back with a sigh. "Just lean back Tara… let me help your legs. You do so much for me… for everyone." Epona slim fingers pushed into Tara's calves, pushing and rubbing.

_She walks everywhere. Her legs hurt. _"You need to take a bath, and ease some of the stiffness. If you hurt yourself… _oh Tara…_ please… _please_ don't hurt yourself…"Tara wasn't smiling, but some of the fear seemed to fade. "I'm the toughest piece of work in the world." Epona smiled. "I know." Tara mock-scowled. "Do I hear doubt?" Epona looked away shyly. "Oh no! Never that!"

Epona couldn't let go. _I want her to squeeze me in her arms. I want her to kiss my ears. Squeeze me with love. Whisper she loves me._ Her hands trailed up and down the warrior's beautiful legs. She massaged and rubbed sore muscles. Tara rolled on to her stomach, and Epona gently began rubbing her back.

"Tara… I love you."

She felt Tara suddenly tense, even as her face betrayed nothing. She didn't speak. _Silence is golden, isn't it? Because if you have a lie for a life, but no one speaks any truth… how wonderful the lie must be. _"I know you only love… part of me. The Epona part. But I'm more than that… can't that be a good thing? Maybe the hardest path is the best one? The path to peace?"

Yet, even as she spoke, the horrible hissing of her hair filled the clearing. Her touch was too cold. Too hard.

Tara's eyes squeezed shut. She shivered.

The Gorgon pulled back.

"I'm sorry Tara. I didn't want to scare you." _It just happened anyway. Great job at being loving and caring, Monster. Now look at what you've done._ She curled into a ball beside the warrior, silent, heart beaten and beating. "Tara? It's okay. It was just a bad dream. You can open your eyes." She saw Tara swallow, and look up. "Damn, I just had… a… a bad nightmare… Fell asleep right after that nice message." She shivered again. "Hey, about you make us some tea?" Epona smiled tremulously. "Sure!"

Her clothes beside the fire had dried by then, and she laced herself up as the kettle began heating.

Epona took a spoon out of their gears. It was a spoon, with a cover a holes through it.Provided the tea leaves were bigger than motes, they could make as much as they wanted, in the quantities they needed! She settled beside the kettle. The fire was warm on her cold skin.

She heard Tara searching in her personal effects for something.

Tara shook her head, and raised burning brown eyes on Epona. The girl felt heat shiver down her body. "I took something from the bag Avon gave us." Epona blinked. "But… why? It was nothing but poison!" The warrior shrugged. "That depends on your point of view. That stuff is a tool, like a hammer or a saw. There was an amphora of Aphrodin in it." She said it casually.

The world seemed to suddenly swim drunkenly… or was she who was wobbly? She couldn't tell. Epona sucked in a breath, a trembling coursing down her limbs. She didn't know if it was fear or desire. _She wants me. She wants to feel me._ Tara grinned, a touch of challenge in her eyes. She stood to her full height, looking down at Epona. "You can just call me… the Conqueror." She unstoppered the jar and downed the contents with a grin. Desire, as painful as it was sharp, pierced Epona's belly.

_She wants Epona… nothing more._

Tara grasped her hair firmly with a hand, and leaned down for a kiss. She cupped Epona's head with both hands, and kissed her again… and kissed her… Tears began falling from Epona's eyes… Tara paused, and considered them with a smile. Her pupils were dilated, so wide Epona felt she could fall into them. "I used to wonder whenever you started crying like this. Epona… I know it hurts… and I know you don't want me to stop." She kissed the girl's throat, nibbling her neck.

She lifted the girl up, and carried her to her sleeping furs. She roughly pulled open Epona's bodice, and the girl turned her head away, even as she thrust her chest out. Laughter bubbled up from Tara, and she pushed the girl down into the furs. The warrior roughly grasped a nipple, and sucked and licked the other. Epona moaned, helpless. Tara swirled her tongue along the soft body spread before her… and felt Epona's legs wrap around her.

Tara pulled back suddenly. "Do you want me, Epona?" _Yes…_ Tara grinned. "The next part is obvious." She trailed a callused hand up and down Epona's thigh. _Yes… _Tara laughed. "I'm almost sure this will work with you. I've got you now…" She rubbed a thumb across Epona's mouth. "Do you want me inside you?" _Yes… Yes! _

Tara lowered her mouth to Epona's breasts, sucking and slurping, and roughly shoved her fingers into Epona's mouth, fingers rubbing her tongue. "You want it deeper?" The slender girl convulsed beneath her, legs clamping around Tara's midriff, her eyes rolling backwards. Tara's laughter vibrated out.

"Goddess… You're the grossest girl I've ever had."

O=o=o=o=o=o=O

Tara rolled off the girl, panting. Visions danced before her eyes, everything she had ever wanted and more. Anger surged and roiled in her gut as they melted away. Laughter bubbled up as the forms suddenly danced together… _for her!_ Armies marched at the sound of voice, and men and women died from her displeasure, while Gods and Goddesses fought to be at her side!

Her eyes fell upon the slim girl beside her. _Epona?_ She seemed oddly blurred. "Tara… don't let the fires of Roma swallow you." Tara grinned. _I'm so much bigger than her! And she loves me! _Tara savoured the power of it, eyes alight with fire. Epona had the same serious expression she always had… but it was just a mask. Beneath it was desperate yearning, and love, and a wretched sense of unworthiness. _It's all so clear! She thinks she's some sort of monster? She wants… eggs? Poor crazy Pony!_

Tara laughed and rolled back on top of her. She anchored a foot for traction and began her conquest anew.


	27. Ch 27 Grip

Tara eased her grip on the woman's hips, and let her fall back to the bed. The warrior's breath hissed trough clenched teeth. "So, how was _that?_" The woman on the bed threw her head back and laughed. The laughs ended in titters. "Oooh, that was just what I wanted to have scratched." Tara glared at Adalia. Strange music swelled for a moment. A mixture of trumpets… and crickets? _Does she think I'm joking!_ Emotions roared around her as music swelled. Adalia's mouth moved, but Tara didn't hear any words, the music's buzzing blocking the words out. _What did she just say? Am I going deaf? _Fear, sharp and bright, focused and froze her. Adalia then patted the spot in the bed. _Come over here… _The music faltered.

Everything was leaping out at her! Everything loomed towards her, with a starkness that seemed to be blinding. Tara half-fell half-collapsed beside Adalia. She closed her eyes and buried her face in the woman's wonderfully warm bosom. A soft hand began stroking her hair. The dizziness seemed to fade. "Do… you want something?" Adalia's voice was like hot honey. The only sound Tara could hear was the beating of her heart. "N-No… a break. I need a break." The hand faltered from a second, before resuming its soft caress. "Is something wrong?"

Tara couldn't prevent a frown from crossing her. Adalia couldn't see it... but she could feel Tara's stillness. _I did something stupid… it's the Aphrodin! It was a spoiled or something. I can't believe I even tried that crap._ "No." Suddenly, sadness and sorrow. A rush of emotions that threatened to boil her away.

Choking tears back was something she hadn't needed to do… for such a long. It was harder than it should of been. _This is… this is… so bad. I tear a woman's clothes off like a candy wrapper, and now I'm about to cry on her! _"Things have been a bit rough lately. I'm tired." The warrior's voice was strained.

Adalia's hand trailed down to rub a circle beneath her Tara's neck. "Can I ask you something?" Tara grumbled something non-committal. "Does Epona love you?" Tara sighed with irritation. "Oh yeah, she promises me eternal love every week or so." Adalia seemed to consider that. "Do you love her?" Tara tried to snarl an answer, "_She's!"…_ but it became more of a groan. "She's… okay. Nice. And why do _you_ care anyway? Has she been bugging you or something?"

Adalia lightly pushed on Tara head, raising it so she could look at the warrior's brown eyes. "No, we've never talked. It's just… she's... odd?" Tara bristled. "What does that mean?" Adalia sighed. "No, I meant… she's… not quite all there? Sometimes it's almost as if she's… _too_ real, and you get scared. As if she can see clues that people don't even know exist. Sometimes you say she's the stupidest person you know. Other times she disappears like a ghost. I've seen you looking for her sometimes. You seem to get disappointed a lot… and more and more often."

Tara interrupted her. "If she wants to run away, I don't care. I don't need her. I'm not going to chase her around."

Adalia brushed her fingers through. "I can see what she does _to_ you… So what does she do _for_ you?"

_Everything…_

_No. She does nothing for me._

Tara sighed. "What should I do? Release her? I seem to be the only thing that makes her happy." Adalia looked at her with a serious stare. "Are you? Do you think Epona will be satisfied with just you?" _Epona and her stories… is that all she wants from me? She wants to be mine, but she's a Romusi. A Noble Romusi. They're only happy when they have glory, aren't they? _ "Will I make you happy?"

Adalia smiled happily. "You… and our adventures! I doesn't matter what happens, as long as we're together." Tara frowned. "And where do we get the gold to do that?" The blonde woman blinked and smiled smugly. "I sold a few of my eastern books and a magic rock I had to the town's magus. It's a start!" Tara raised an incredulous eyebrow. "This dump has a magician?"

-o=o=o=o=o=o=o-

Granny Weatherwax hobbled to the kitchen counter, her back to Epona. A few dishes were piled up, waiting to be washed. "Things are nice in Gael. Or so I'm told. It rains a lot, and has a lot of trees. A lot of water. The weather would suit you. Good for people who like to grow things."

Epona looked away from the old woman's back. "Why would I want to go there?"

Silence was filled with the clink of washing dishes. Epona's eyes drifted back to her book, waiting for a response.

"Some people… when they want something… they don't care who they hurt. They don't even feel it when they hurt themselves. The bad ones don't even remember why they even needed to do this or that. They don't mind tearing up hearts… The worst ones figure that killing people is what they must have wanted, since it's what they seem to always end up doing. They just _do_." The old woman began drying the clean dishes.

"You need a nice girl who likes to ride as much as you do." Granny finished drying the drops of water that had beaded on the clear cold glass, but ignored the ones on the crystal cold lass. "But you need one that rides gracefully. Not her. You'll never be enough, and she'll replace you. The only thing she understands is herself, so the only thing she can love is herself."

Epona felt a sharp tip of anger scratch her. "You mean, the only thing _you_ love is you… where are your friends? Your children? _Where is your husband? _You're the one who doesn't want to be reached! You're the one who wants us to guess when you want something! The one who has a picture of a perfect life no one can create! You helped me when I was in trouble, and I wanted to help you, but you can't just… just can't cut people out of your life"

Granny's grim face didn't move. "_Oo_ooh. Well, if you don't like it, leave." She turned her back on Epona.

-O=o=o=o=o=o=O-

"Hi Bill…"

"What's with you today?"

"Nothing."

"Well! If you say so! So, whaddya think of it? A lodestone! It's nice! Have you ever seen one this nice?"

Epona shook her head. "No."

"Now look at the metal spoon! Can you believe it? It sticks! I wonder why it sticks? It's really stuck there!" He giggled like a small boy and waved the rock and spoon around. "It won't let go!"

Epona watch has as his arms circled as they spun. "Hmmm… You should put the lodestone on a piece of floating wood, and see if you can spin it with the spoon… only without touching it with the Stone." Bill ogled her. "We could replace boat oars with lodestones and spoons!"

Epona smiled sadly. "If anyone can do it, you can." He frowned at her, rubbing his chin and scraggly beard and _hmmmmed?_ as loud as some people shout.

-O=o=o=o=o=o=O-

Bill hopped to and fro excitedly, one leg sometimes curled around another. Epona's sphinx like smiled greeted him. "I went home and tried it right away! You won't believe what happened! The stone on the wood… It spins all by itself! No spoon! And it always ends up pointing in one direction. _That way!_" He poked his finger into the sky, into the north-west.

Epona pursed her lips. "Is it pointing to something on the ground or in the sky?" He ogled her. "**H**_**m**__mm_mm! Well. It has to be on the ground. Otherwise," he giggled quickly, "otherwise how'm I gonna pick whatever it is its pointing to? lodestones point to other lodestones! It must be another lodestone… It must be the _biggest lodestone in the world!_"

"Maybe it points to an invisible star in the sky?" Epona countered, "Or to a tall mountain in the north? How do we know?"

Bill jumped to his feet, and dug one foot beneath another. His eyes were popping out of his end. "If we climb a hill, the stone will point down! Or maybe up!" Epona serenely considered the idea. "We'd need a big hill in order to get an accurate triangulation." Bill hopped up and down, one. "Let's climb halfway up Olympus!"

Epona's calm smile fell away, but no one really paid attention to such a small uncertain thing anyway.

-O=o=o=o=o=o=O-

Bill huffed and gasped, struggling for every breath as he climbed the steep hill. "Who ever… made… my legs… did… a bad… job. _Arhhh!_" His kippah fell off and landing among the fallen leaves. Epona bent and plucked it up before he even began bending towards it. "Thank you!" Bill plopped it back on his head. Epona nodded seriously. "The ground doesn't like being forced to wear hats it doesn't like." He ogled her. "Is that… a joke?"

Epona blinked._ A hat might cover a sapling and keep it from growing. The ground won't feel the sun on it._ "No."

-O=o=o=o=o=o=O-

"Stupid! So stupid! We climbed up here, and now, _aaah_, we can't even _see!_"

The lodestone floated on its wooden boat. But was it pointing down into the water or up into the sky? Neither of them could tell. The pull of the ground was to great. Bill began fiddling nervously fiddling with hair, and nervously kicking and spinning on his heels.

Epona tilted her head, unfazed. "We know where it's pointing towards… we now we need an axle for it. Like an axle for a cart. So it can spin up or down. Maybe we can use some springs?" Bill humphed loudly. "My kingdom for a donkey cart!"

Epona smiled. _I know what he is… he's a gnomish inventor!_

-O=o=o=o=o=o=O-

"So… why couldn't you finish at the institute? Bad grades?" Bill scratched his beard for an nonexisting itch. "Well… no. My grades were nice." Epona laughed a quiet laugh. "How nice?" The nervous man seemed to struggle between happiness and not wanting to boast. "I had the highest grades." A silent chuckle rippled over Epona. "How high?" Bill shrugged in an _it doesn't matter, but since you're dragging it out…_

"The highest grades of all the students in all the school!" Epona nodded, suitably impressed. "That's really good!" He laughed nervously, and, for once didn't mock himself or disagree. "You're smarter than me!" Epona continued. At this, he half-smiled a bit… but didn't agree. "So… why not?" He shrugged. "Life, a wife, and five waifs..." Epona raised her eyebrows. "You're married?" He scratched his beard "And five children. All girls."

His hands nervously started playing with the lodestone, spinning it on the axle.

"Married." Epona's voice was sad. "Bill? I'll ask you a strange question. What would you do if your wife left you for another man?" He hmmed again, frowning. "I can't say I'd be happy." Epona added "What if he was exactly like you, but nicer, smarter, and stronger? He even has the same haircut you have. He doesn't have a bad family or… or some ridiculous curse. What if she could replace you and have a better life?"

He waved a hand through the air. "Can't say I what'd I'd think. I'd be angry… with her, with myself. I'd be jealous!" Epona stared at the ground. "Would you be afraid? Would you stop believing in yourself? Stop believing you had something special you could give to the world?" He hmmed and scratched the hand he used to scratch his beard. "Now wait a moment. Just because someone is _better_ doesn't mean I'm _not good_. If someone was better than me at being me… Well! I'd start being a better me! And who decides who's better anyway?" Epona's eyes trailed back in forth, struggling to see an answer. "She does."

Epona leaned her head to the side. "And what are you? How can you improve yourself?" He smiled an _a-ha_ smile. "I'd change myself by changing where I am! Let's say: by moving to a tiny town, getting some money… and going back to my wife as a wealthy man! You won't believe how much fives kids can eat." Epona smiled. "Your plan sounds nice." He giggled. "Well… of course, of course! It's my plan!"

Epona's eyes returned to the lodestone. "Okay, why isn't this thing working? Did we balance it wrong?" Bill scratched his beard. "How do you balance something anyway?"

-O=o=o=o=o=o=O-

Tara stomped along road. The day was sunny. Her stomach roiled in pain, and stiffness was down her back. _Adalia wants to be with me.._. _she's doesn't think Epona's really in love with me. I told her Epona was just… a pillow slave. Well, she is, I mean, a slave... She thinks Epona might not even feel it. I took that damn Aphrodin… and… and…_ Green eyes snake eye peered into hers… and beneath her hands… hard scales… a sudden, animal fear that had crossed her.

And on seeing love turn to fear, the intent, slitted eyes hadn't changed an iota. _It was in love. _

_But even if I loved it back that wasn't going to change what it was._

Tara clamped down on the memory. _Lies. This is what's real. She's real. She loves me… No, it was the damn potion messing with me. Not her. _Epona's soft skin, her laughter, her gentleness. Her affection for animals. Her compassion for people. Her hunger for knowledge. Her soft voice as she whispered poems… the food they made together… the way she gasped when Tara's teeth nipped at her breasts or her the quivering of her body when she ran her hands over its soft swells. _That really happened!_

_Besides, if she was a… a __**thing**__ like that, I'd have turned to stone!_

She was standing still. Tara shook her head, and resumed walking.

_A magus in town? I'd like to see that. Prolly some half-clever guy is working over these small town folk. Maybe he sells some medicines that actually work. I just have to make him take me seriously. _She patted her sword and smiled. _And he'd better._

A rider was trotting down the road. He seemed well dressed and quite fat. He spotted Tara, and frowned, disgust plan on his face. Tara's eyebrow inched up fractionally. "What's a woman like you running around with _that?_ You should be ashamed. Do you think you deserve what you stolen from others?" He nodded towards her sword, vile and vinegar across his face. Tara smiled… or rather, she showed her teeth. "It's called a sword. Would you like to see it up close?" Her tone carried threat.

The man burst out in comptentious laughter. "No, I rather think not. If you could see yourself from where I am… you could see the _entirety_ of your wretched condition." The roiling emotions spun away. She felt her face darkening and searing anger making her limbs tremble. Her hands were like iron weights, and her arms began shaking! _Who does he think he is! The bastard needs to come closer! Just a bit closer and his horse won't carry him away!_

_Closer… if you see the face you turn to stone… but I was too close to see all of it. That's why I'm still alive._

_No! _A sudden sob shook her. Her hands fell away from her sword. The man, shaking his head in amusement, clicked his tongue and began riding away. Tara didn't see him. _Too close. It might not be the potion._ She fell to knees, her hands digging into the ground. _I am not lying! She isn't lying!_

Bitter tears welled up. "This isn't a lie! I deserve her!"

-O=o=o=o=o=o=O-

For once, Epona was in the clearing when Tara returned to her camp. She stirred was stirring a spoon in a small pan. The warrior rushed towards her. Grief and anger made the words fly outwards. "What are you doing?" Tired, wan eyes turned on her. It made her angrier. _I wasn't enough! She wants more than me! Stories, lightning in winter skies, and lies! Lies! _Her voice was cold. "I asked you, _what are you doing? I needed __**you!**__"_

Epona's shoulders slumped. "I know… I was… I was hurting. I was tired. I didn't have… anywhere safe. Everything was… is… going so badly. I'm… I want to help you. I want to... I want to make something good happen." Tara's anger sharpened. "What do you do for me? How is this helping me?"

Anguish and tired misery stared back. "Tara… What's wrong? I want to understand." _Like kicking a stray dog. The gall of it. How dare she be innocent._ Tara's cold anger tightened. _She's… she's so useless._ "Nothing's wrong." _I should spin on my heels, jump on Cerebrus and head out._

Epona picked a bowl up beside the fire. "I made mushroom soup."

The words hung in the air. _So useless._

"The trick was, you can use a cheese scrapper to scrape mushrooms into a paste. The paste melts when cooked. You need a stick of butter, a bit of onion. While that's cooking, you chop some mushrooms. After that, you add some chicken broth, and let it simmer a bit. Then you add a spoon or two of flour, and then half the amount of broth in cream. You cook it some more. And just before you serve it…"

Epona tilted the pan over a bowl, and let some soup spill into it. "You add some strong wine. Beer can work too. It's easy to do, and almost a full meal by itself. And you can make a lot for not much money." Epona picked up a second bowl. "Good food will give you the strength you need to do what you need to do." Epona turned her attention back to the soup.

Tara said nothing and held her full bowl, looking over Epona slight form.

Epona held her empty bowl in one hand, and continued stirring the soup.

But she was starring into the fire.


	28. The Stone in the Witches' Garden

_So_

_Vindictus by Nexon is an addictive game. It's free, but they charge you for stuff like makeup and bigger inventories. If you liked DragonAge:origins, but thought "damn, this game is messed up.", you'll prolly like it too. I'm on it... email away if you ever want to play!_

Food was something that soothed. Epona's fatigue and Tara's anger were fading with the same speed as the food.

Epona spooned some more soup from her bowl. She hadn't finished her first bowl. Tara served herself a third time. A strange silence was covering them now. Epona decided to break it. 'I can tell you a story… or two… or three… but I never really knew what you wanted from me… so… I will tell you of something that is many things. It's hard to talk about magic… unless you do it. But here's something: _I cannot create what I do not understand_. I suppose when I started… it was about connections. But where does knowledge come from? Is it innate or learned?'

Epona paused and went over what she had said.

'An example: you can rotate an arm, and know it for a lever, and from that know _angular speed_ (that is, the time taken by the arc of movement made by of your hand is equal to that of your wrist as your spin it) and from that, know the movement of the earth, the movement of the stars, the movement of the stars. Or vice versa. But where is that original knowledge, the _knowing_ of your arm?'

Epona waved her spoon in a small circle beside her head.

'The original thought, or action, seems to be what we really want to get to. Where does _everything_ come from? Where is the _origin_? Most people will tell you about Gods or spirits… but they always seem to be reflections of things within us, or about us. I can rephrase it by saying: _I cannot create what I do not understand_, and adding _how do you know you've created it if you don't understand it? And if you don't know it exists, can you see it?'_

At this, Epona gave Tara a coy, smoky look. Seeing that, Tara half-frowned and shook her head.

'Now wait. I can make love to a woman, feel desire for her, but I'll never grasp the foundation of life itself. Knowing the actions that leads to something doesn't makes you any smarter about what principle lies behind.'

Epona smiled sweetly and passed her tongue over her lips. '_Make love_ implies a priori knowledge! And what is "knowing" anyway?' Epona shrugged her shoulders amusedly 'I sure don't know...' She wiggled a bit.

Tara frowned, lowering her forehead a bit and ploughing forward. 'And beside, your point of view is about some sort of absolute knowledge, as if there was a real nature to everything.'

Epona hands moved in that gracefully, strange manner she had when she thinking. 'Some concepts are inherent to our nature. To what degree is nebulous, but still... I know how to breathe and etcetera. Now... what is creating something if not applying a concept? A desire for a beautiful woman is a knowledge. The _level_ of knowledge needed to apply the concept is nebulous, true… So... can we create what is not already a part of us?'

Tara settled more comfortably beside the fire. 'You're reducing our minds to boxes of knowledge we haven't yet discovered. And you're implying that this box is finite. Are you saying that our minds are a kind of bank? Or maybe our that the mind works out information taken from the experience and manipulate them into what we call knowledge.? The second idea would sound more plausible and less set in stone.'

'What would be,' Tara grimaced. '_a priori_ are the tools our mind have to make relation between the things we experience.'

Epona stared at the fire. 'The human mind is finite, and I don't believe a million mages working for a million years can create _new_. Their work will always mimic the natural world from where they came from.' Epona raised her eyebrows. 'Yet, because that mind was created, and is part of, an infinite universe, there is a window within us to the truly new. And the universe can be understood, as much as we can understand ourselves. And so, understanding the _new_ becomes understanding ourselves as well.'

A certain silence fell as both women considered this. Tara shrugged. 'I'd agree with you on the part that our minds are like ships, they are finite in terms of space, but they can travel everywhere as long as they follow the rules of the oceans, or the restrictions of the mind. The senses we use to grasp the world create the ideas we have about the world we see. So, we can say that our knowledge cannot be greater than the quality allowed by our senses. But, we can't underestimate the value of this knowledge as it consists of a very useful one that allows us to live. We must deal with what we see. Is grasping the utmost reality of a thing that important? Some ideal might have a very romantic feel in the quest of knowledge, but I doubt it has any tangible, let alone reachable, use.'

Tara snorted. 'Anyway, we could spin around forever and ask _what is knowledge_, is it anything we can have access to, or, if knowledge is what we actually get from our filtered senses... but I think this is a pointless debate.

Epona raised her chin a bit. 'The mind is not limited to its senses, the mind is limited to its universe. Imagine this: you are inside pool table, with bouncing balls all around. Imagine seeing a billiard ball go by. It must of been hit by something else, something that pushed it. So you try and find the white ball. The first ball. But then you think, something pushed the white ball: _a pool cue!_ But where did the energy pushing the cue come from? Some might think, _I can move things. Something like me must be moving things outside the table!_ You cannot look outside the table.'

Epona's spread her arms, and touched her indexes to her thumbs. 'So you cannot know where the first idea came from. The first knowledge. But we know 'something' _because we can feel it_. So, _emotions can replace what we don't understand._ We substitute something with a hole in the middle for something that's _tangibly identical._ I know something feels good (or bad), so I can create it, even if I don't understand its initial source.'

Tara scratched her head, a funny grimace painted across her. 'So what you are saying is that _emotion_ is the source we can use to fill the knowledge gap necessary to create something… so the initial sentence that started this whole conversation is useless? There's no point in understanding something?'

Epona massaged her chin with an index. 'I think… maybe… yes?' She hid her smile with her hands. 'Unless you enjoy understanding things, of course!'

Tara sat in thought for a long time. 'Epona… let me tell you a story.' She said it slowly, seeming to struggle with something. 'Once upon a time… a Witch found a broken golem. It was shaped in the form of a beautiful woman… but it was broken. She decided she would care for it. She took it to her home, and started to fix its body. She was a Witch of earth and stone, but many said only men should do what she did, and that her body was too weak to work with earth. So, this golem was the answer she needed. It was as strong as Hercules, and had a will of stone. She wanted to see the power of its body, and the work it could do. The Witches' body was frail and small, and she wanted to join that power. As the golem started to move around, the Witch let herself fall in love. She knew she shouldn't, but the stone woman was so beautiful when it moved, its body so strong. One day, she asked the stone woman: "let me have your body! Let us be one!" The stone woman looked at her, and said: "than that is what I'll never give you." The Witch, ashamed of her own body, ran from the golem. 'I wasn't worthy. My body is weak. But I'll still be her friend.''

So the stone woman sat on her rocky crag, and looked at the river.

Tara shook her head slowly, and Epona was still. 'So the golem kept moving. Soon, a second Witch found the golem. This Witch loved spirits, lights and gentle movement, and seeing the speed of the golem, she thought 'such a powerful spirit must live in it! I must show it how to be gentle.' So, she began speaking to the stone woman, trying to coax a kind spirit out of it. One day, she asked the golem: "Give me your spirit! Let us be one!" The stone woman looked at her, and said: "than that is what I'll never give you." The spirit Witch was furious, and then ashamed of her anger, so she turned away from the golem. She thought "I wasn't worthy. There is a sickness inside me. But I'll still be her friend."'

So the stone woman stopped moving. She sat on her rocky crag, and looked at the stars.

Tara sighed. 'And then, watching from beneath the shadows of the glade's trees, was a third Witch. She wasn't a shadow, but she was afraid of light. Her solitude had made her hungry and dark, but despite that, she still watched the stars at night, and whispered stories no one would ever hear. She wanted everything... except herself. The golem's body, and its strong spirit, was a wonderful thing to her. She wanted it more than anything she had ever seen. And she wanted it to want her. She would forget her pain then.'

'The stone woman stood where the spirit Witch had left her, and the shadow Witch thought. "I'll tell her she can have anything _but_ me… and she'll want me." She was very clever... but she had seen the lessons the spirit Witch had given the golem… and she had learned too. She wanted to be _good,_ she wanted to stop hiding. She wanted the golem to have what it wanted. She knew she was doomed the moment she crawled towards the stone woman… and as night fell, she stood in the tall grass, and she began dancing in front of the golem. She would return each night, and dance. If anyone else watched, for once, she didn't care. The creatures of the forest knew her to be mad… why wasn't she afraid of the golem? Who dances in the dark? The truth was different she was terribly afraid of it. She knew the golem would hurt her when she asked something from it. So she danced harder. And the golem watched. It knew how to move, and now it began to dance. It took the steps it liked, and danced them! And then… one day, the Shadow woman was tired, but she tried to dance anyway. Of course, she stumbled and fell… "Help!" She cried. And… the golem caught her!"'

A myriad of expressions flittered across Epona's face. Tara looked grim. 'And it would have been better if she had fallen to the ground, for the shadow woman's desire as she felt the arms that gently held her was too great. She shivered and trembled, and pushed herself against the stone woman. Her body was so hot. "You've filled me with fever," she moaned. "_I want you! _Dance with me… dance with me! _I_ _need you to_ _want everything you want!_" A stupid thing to say.' Tara added, her expression harsh.

'The golem held her for a moment or two, and whispered. "Now I have something even better." But that wasn't what the Witch had wanted to hear. "Better than what? Don't you want _me?_" she asked.'

Epona made a soft sound of pain. Tara smiled sadly, and reached out to pat her.

'The stone woman stood stunned! The shadow Witch wanted her… but did that mean _she_ had to want the Witch? Did she? It had to decide. So what did she want? Did anyone else want this Witch? Was _she, the golem,_ alone with this want? Who was _she?_ And then she _screamed_ and pushed the shadow with all her strength! And it fell away. And all the forest creatures watching nodded to themselves. The Shadow was mad, and had finally received the fate everyone knew was due to someone who danced in the dark. But Witches are hard to get rid of.' Tara looked darkly amused for a moment… and then she sighed. 'Shadow ones in particular. Falling is bad, but being pushed is worse. She wasn't hurt, but she was afraid again.'

'But dawn was coming, and the Witch was afraid again. Her body was weak, her spirit was flawed and her dance had failed. So she sat beneath her trees, and thought of her stories. Something in them had changed. Now, for the first time, the hero in the story had been _her_. And a hero is _good_, and doesn't hide. She was too tired to dance, and the forest and its creatures didn't feel like a good place anymore, but that was where she had been her happiest. She crawled back to where the stone woman sat, and began telling jokes and small stories. The golem sat, and sometimes, it would laugh. The Shadow leaned her head against a stone knee and rested… it wasn't what she wanted, but it was better than nothing. The sun rose, and she was blind. She seemed as pale as the moon… with only her bright, pink lips. The sun set, and she could see the world, but not herself…'

Epona interrupted, her voice soft. 'It didn't matter, as long as she could feel the golem with her. She accepted what she was given. The sad part… is that they both wanted to dance… but neither could…'

Tara blinked slowly. 'Maybe they should have… so… the story ends soon…'

'And, sure enough… a fourth Witch arrived into the clearing. She had heard of a commotion in the forest, and wanted to see the golem herself. The third Witch saw her light and was frozen silent. She was everything wrong, and this girl was everything right. "Are you the golem who defeated the dark Witch?" she asked. The Shadow Witch, from where she knelt, nodded and smiled happily. 'She is… I was there! It was terrible fight, but she won. But in truth… it is sad. For she was made to be a hero, and has never known anything but battle… no one has loved her as she deserves to be loved.' The sunny Witch nibbled her lips, looking at the stone woman from beneath her eyelashes. "So she's never been a girl, only a warrior? That's so sad! Hasn't anyone ever taught her how to play?"

The golem shook her head. "No… what is play? Do you need it? Do I want it?" The Sunny Witch looked surprised. "You don't need to play, but you should! Sooo… come with me, and we'll try and find what you'd like to do!" The golem stood, but the Shadow Witch stayed where she sat. Her smile was very strange. The Sunny Witch was uncertain to see it. "You shouldn't stay here… the Shadow Witch might still be around! Everyone says she mad!" The Shadow Witch laughed. "Don't worry, our hero will beat her every time!" The sunny Witch looked a bit surprised; did she invite this strange woman to play too? The golem didn't mind her… but that strange smile…' Tara frowned, glancing at Epona out of the corner of her eye.

Epona wasn't smiling.

"Go on ahead with her! I'm too tired to run around. Besides, I have to go home!" But she stayed put. The two women went ahead…. And the Shadow Witch was silent in thought. "Why was the golem left here like this? Who made her? Who broke her? Did she break herself? Who taught her that _need_ was the same thing as _pain?_"

'Tara, stop.' Epona seemed calm and sad. 'You don't need to go back to the start, and find out how you got here… or how all the pieces fitted together. What you feel right now is more important than how you've felt or how you _think _you need to feel. It doesn't matter if the Morrigan is bothering you, or that bad things happened. You don't need to change yourself to fill someone else's needs.' Epona nodded determinedly. 'But it's good to plan for how you'd _like_ to feel later on. And… the Shadow Witch wanted to teach the golem didn't she? She wanted to share the things that made her happy with the golem. The Witch had problems… but who doesn't? I know you're worried, but you can replace those… those dark _Orgins _you don't like and can never find with _good feelings_ and a happy hunger for more! Who cares about the future? It's for later on!'

Tara was silent. Epona couldn't read her expression. 'Tara… all I need is someone to hold at night. And… I think that's all the Sunny Witch needs too… maybe even more than me. I'm used to being alone. I'd like you, and I don't need more. If you need Adalia, then I'd like it if you had what you need.'

Tara barked a short laugh. 'Those crazy witches should get some cats.' Epona's expression became smoky. 'Well… I think what they'd really_ really_ like is some sweet, tasty pussy. But… only if she's feeling good, of course.'

Tara groaned and shook her head, her long hair swaying. 'You're horrible.' Epona smiled impishly. 'No, you are!' Tara drew herself up in 'Horrible? So you like horrible? I'll be the worst thing you've ever had.' Epona gently trailed a hand down her own neck, smiling as Tara scowled at her. 'But you taste so good ma'am...' Her eyes trailed up and down Tara. 'And you're so _big!_ There's so much to like! And _lick!_'

Tara sighed and rubbed her temples. 'I can't do this with someone like you.' Her voice was stiff. Epona looked at her softly. 'I didn't ask about someone _like me. _I don't give a fig about someone _like_ me. I asked: can _you_ be with _me?_ All you have to do is be there. And… if not… then be honest and say: I can never be _with you._'

Anger crossed Tara's expression, but Epona continued. 'If you had to choose, I'd be second, I know… but I never asked you to choose.'

Tara shook her head. 'I'll think about it. I don't think so.' She huffed, and eyed Epona. 'You're a lot of trouble you know.' Epona looked away. 'Witches always are,' she said in apology.


	29. Unwanted breath of fresh air!

_Now is not the time for maudlin, now is the time for partying! You've finished your revision! It's Christmas! Time to party and get happy, and take care of loved ones! _

_Guess who's still my loved one? I wrote you something harsh, and then naughty, and then nice! Anyway, don't go rocking the boat too soon, get your barring in the ocean first. Some bad things are actually quite temporary, I've found, and if some other things are fixed, those very bad things melt away. Its about limits. When did things work well? When did they not? "Silence is golden." Is one, but we there are others too._

_Of course, we always keep learning on how to understand our limits… and always surprised. Every day spent intensely working (even on something you love!) means you need a day off. I remember reading in disbelief the rate at which you wrote the 1__st__ Tara chapters… I thought you would burn out… So BE CAREFUL you big dummy! Otherwise, things get wonky. _

___You can override your limits too easily! A_nd just plain average working is good enough for most jobs!

_I won't be able to write for awhiles (I need privacy, and I'm heading to my mom's for x-mas) so… not sure when next. _

_Stay strong! And don't waste anything needlessly! _

Tara moodily regarded Epona across from the fire. Night was falling more quickly, and a chill was crisp. The total, complete silence of the forest enveloped her like soft velvet. Epona was usually… receptive… after eating, but Tara didn't want to touch her after this wild discussion. _Right… okay, she's a bit crazier than I thought. She wouldn't mind if someone else came along in my bed. Lots of people do that. She'd give me ideas and ask how it was. _Tara shuddered_. How would that even work! Crazy. She wants to know how the world works. That isn't too crazy. People tell her the gods made the world and she thinks the Gods are… just… just gods. People are just people. It is what it is. Crazy. She wants to be mine. Another crazy bit. She loves stories, and music… but never does anything… until she writes me love poetry. Love. Poetry. Double crazy. She loves me… and, okay, that one is crazy to start with, but she think it'll work somehow. That's _really _crazy. Always going a step to far… a step ahead… or behind. Making my head spin. I should stick her in chains! Anything!_ Tara's voice was furious when she spoke"You have to learn your place! Stop this! You think this is a game?"

Epona fell silent, blinking at the sudden harshness. The food had finally slowed her bewildering talk, it seemed. Tara felt safe enough to risk a question. "So… how important is all this story and magic stuff to you?" Epona's looked uncomfortable. "I guess I don't know anything else really. People just seemed to know what to do, what to want… and I just freeze up. Unless it's something big and wild, like a brother setting fire to the house or someone trying to hurt the people I love… I… usually know what to do then…" Epona's trailed off into unhappy silence. "And, so, the magic stuff is always… well… simple, but very hard. Half of it is just remembering seeing something from before. A good way to tire yourself."

Tara shrugged uneasily. "So… what'd you think will happen now? To… well, you and me?" Epona shrugged. "As it stands? I guess this is what's left after the romance leaves a romantic. Well, I imagine you'll keep me in the dark until you know how some things are going, and then you'll either keep me or get rid of me. So… I guess, if you get rid of me, I'll probably stick around Granny until she dies, and then I'll end my story. Or maybe you'll pick me… and then I'll stay with you until you die in a fight. I don't think I can stop you from fighting… but maybe someone else can. I guess I'll end my story then too. Or maybe I'll find games, stories and magic interesting enough to keep the story going on my own. Stories of love and laughter, games of passion and prestige… and ridiculous, stupid magic." She sighed. "Or maybe my family will be okay one day… but is this my truth? Or just your fear?"

Tara looked at her in dismay. _So cold. This is exactly what I _didn't _want to hear. _"End your story? What the hell? Why? You'd do that over that old bat? _And why me?_" Epona tried to shrug with sad humour. "I guess I can just see you clearly enough to know a bit about you. You're… clear. Most people hide themselves away. And you listen to me... But honestly? I don't really know why."

Tara looked at her, frustration starting to rise. "And me? What _wonderful_ things await me?" Epona frowned. "You always win your fights… but when you fight yourself? How can you win that? And… once you've won, can you _hold on _to what you've won? And I mean that for both love and war… stop letting good things slip you by and stop letting bad things stay the way were when you found them." Epona raised an upturned hand to a tree. "Once something starts to grow… it needs water, light and space… and people, like trees, have dreams of water and light. You can't set it in stone. And if you can't stop fighting yourself and hurting yourself, ma'am… then you can fight me. You'd never ever lose… and sometimes… I'd let you win." Epona brought her hand to her face, and softly licked the length of her finger, eyes on Tara. "And if you lose by accident… I'd make sure you _never_ regret it." She threw her head back and forth, hair hiding part of her face… but not her hungry, dark eyes.

Tara grimaced. _Fight her?_ Thin arms, tired green eyes, delicate hands and an agile face. _Such a brat_. The kind of person you saw after tearing down a castle gate and killing the guards, and found hiding beneath a bed. The last person between yourself and the treasury key or a nice ransom. _But she doesn't have a penny to her name. Ha._

"Fight? How would we do that? I already know _your_ weakness." Tara smirked. "I'd run around town naked…" She leered at the girl, and pushed her breasts together "…and show myself off to anyone who looked. I'd even do it during some important festival, since you can handle distractions _oh so well_. How long would you last then?" Epona looked dismayed. Her eyes fell to Tara's bunched up chest. Tara sneered at her… _ but she isn't looking at my breasts. She's looking at my hands. _Tara felt her mouth go dry._ Who the hell looks at hands! My breasts! Right here! My body! That's what you want!_ The girl's eyes trailed back and forth, lost and stricken. _Say something damn it!_ Epona looked away. She seemed angry for once. _At last! _Tara's grinned savagely, eyes flared.

"Ma'am… life is already unfair. Why do we have to make it harder?" Epona seemed… sad. _She's sad. Sad and disappointed? Really? Oh, that's just great_. There even appeared to be moisture in the corner of her eyes. _Really? Now she's crying. Faaantastic._

Epona's face scrunched upped and she huffed, blinking a few times. "Some philosophies say you should armor yourself against the harsh world. I want to live in a soft world. I want you to live in a soft world. Maybe it's about knowing your limits… that's how it can be soft… Did… I ever tell you about when I got sick with a bad cold? I think you always wanted to hear that story…" Tara eased back, and, as nonchalantly as she could, tried to shift her front. _Damn it, a strap is hitched…_ _I think I just popped out… ah! _"_Yes!_ That would be great!" She said it almost startling loud. _That would be great? Gods, kill me now. _Epona blinked hugely, twice.

"Well… once upon a time, I was working and studying, and doing all the things I thought I had to do so I could be happy… later on. And trying not to worry about things, right there in front of me. Me and another girl washed dishes for a villa where elders came to live… a place of strange humor… happy people eating and talking, and well worn doctors. Every day, people would smile at me as I brought them their food, and ask me if fish was on the menu. Every day, the kitchen cook would take me aside and say: 'The other girl does twice the work you do!' She probably said the same to the other girl… and I was also in school. In Roma, all the schools are temples, or used to be temples, or both. People obsessed about the truth, and being 'higher'. But the truth came from basic ideas everyone agreed on. If you change the basic truth, you changed the 'higher' ideas. It was a forest, and we were monkeys swinging from branch to branch, trying to reach fruit the other monkeys hadn't eaten yet. If you changed tree, you could eat different fruit, but then some monkeys wouldn't like you for eating the wrong fruit. Other monkeys climbed to the top of their favourite tree, and liked shouting down at the smaller monkeys. The only difference? Unlike most monkeys, they didn't throw their waste at each other." Epona's smile flashed. "Well, not often anyway." She continued "so, I was very nervous, and scared. I usually did things by just remembering what the teacher had written, or said a few. I didn't even realize I was in a tree, in a forest! All I could tell was that branches got tangled in other branches, and made a big mess! I thought the world was just one thing: it's just branches." Epona rolled her eyes comically. "Not seeing the forest because of a tree? Oh, I couldn't even see the tree! Sooo… I was pretty much the smallest and dumbest of the monkeys."

"One day, the most important monkey in my favourite tree looked at me and said: 'Oook oook?'... umm… I'm not quite sure anymore… He was the monkey who decided if you were good at picking fruit. He had clocks that spun backwards in his office! And lots of other strange things and shapes. He made them when he wasn't hooting at us monkeys. I liked going to his office to stare at them, so I had to come up with questions as an excuse. Since all I knew was branches, it didn't matter what tree I was in, only the fruit! Of course, this meant I fell down a lot… so either way, I was in his office a lot.

Or maybe he said: 'How did you even climb up this high to start with? Don't you know what this tree is about? And you have to do a project on this tree!'

I was shocked! 'I'm in a tree?' And his eyes just popped! 'Yes! Look at your GPA down there! If you fall too far, you could die!'

Or maybe he never said a single word, and spoke only with his eyes and his hands, in the monkey way of speaking.

Suddenly I didn't know where I was anymore! The world was spinning!

And I couldn't sleep! I was in a tree!

And I was getting tired from work.

And I couldn't sleep! I was in a forest!

Oh no, I'm a monkey! And then… I caught a cold.

"Gone in 3 days" I sneezed.

It stayed. "Gone in a week!" I coughed.

It stayed. "Gone in three weeks…" I hacked.

And then I was fired from washing dishes because I wasn't doing very well anymore.

And then… a test. Find the shape a string takes when hanging between two tacks.

It stayed. I failed.

The next day, I was one of the last people to turn in that's days work. When I sat, I sneezed. As I wrote, I coughed. As I erased, I hacked… and when I was done, I leaned back for the first time that day… and I tried to cough. I couldn't do it. At all! I couldn't breathe, or even flute. Nor make a single toot. I thought… _I have five minutes before unconsciousness... at least I'm going to die doing something I enjoy._

Then, I carefully got out of my seat and quickly walked out of class. If I died in front of the other monkeys it would bother them. I calmly got up, and walked out. I rushed to the closest bathroom, locked the door behind me, and leaned over the sink, and fought for my life. Needless to say, more than a few ugly sounds were emitted. You know, it's always painful to hear… or see a beautiful instrument so misused… I like to think I have a nice voice… and other people have nice things too! But they shouldn't be proud… they should just be happy! Epona's eyes pointedly (and _finally, _Tara might think_)_ trailed to her chest… but by now Tara was too intent on the story to think of puffing out herself out!

Tara cut through the sudden veering of topic. "_So_ I guess you lived, huh." Epona sighed dramatically "You just ruined the story! But… I can tell you that… _yes!_ I made it out alive! And, as I leaned over the sink… I finally understood simple harmonic motion! You see, if a pendulum swings, _when_ you push it is terribly important! If it's at the highest height of the swing, you can push it very fast! If it's half way in its swing, then it's harder to add push. Or… when you're leaning over a sink, and hitting your chest and coughing, you have to time the hit to the cough! Like a drum!"

Epona smiled and clapped her hands a few times...

Tara didn't take up the beat.

Epona carefully lowered her hands, not hiding, but rather exaggerating her embarrassment into a ridiculous pout. Tara shook her head, disbelief plain as the rain. "So you nearly died…_ over what?_" Epona's pout returned to her more serious mien. "I nearly died over not knowing my limits. I was under pressure at home, school and work. And those stresses were amplifying each other. My mother was pressuring me to work, my work was pressuring me to do my best, and my schooling was going bananas. I tried to separate each into a box… but it's all connected. I was putting too much pressure and worry on this…"

Epona leaned forward, towards Tara, her hand a tiny fist. She rapped her knuckles on Tara's chest. A point between Tara's breasts, as if on a closed door. Tara stared at the dainty hand, so different, and so similar, to her own.

"It's all connected… but the angle you look at it from matters. Even if you never see the ground, you know you feel a pull downwards. Even if we never see the gods, we feel a pull to love each other, at least. Now, you're worried about something. You're in a tree, above the ground. Remember when you were at your happiest, when everything was right… wasn't it almost the same as it is now? Maybe you had more of some things, or more money, but you haven't changed that much. Now, you feel under siege… and your mind is filled with confusion… or a terrible, terrible clarity. Or what you think is clarity, but feels a lot like fear. You need to let things flow between the boxes you've made. You can't fight wars, find money, find love, and heal the world all at once. Things will get better. Don't make a big decision right now. You _know _you push yourself harder than you should… you have limits… and sometimes you can't break them, but sometimes you _can_ but shouldn't!"

Tara stared, her face tight. "Who took care of you when you got sick?" Epona looked away. "The same person who pushed me to work when I shouldn't have. The person who helped me see a doctor… a doctor who told me it would 'pass in a week. Get some rest!' and when I went back three weeks later, even worse than before… they still told me to get some rest. But still no medicine… So, when she caught a cold, she rushed to the doctor, and she described _my symptoms_… and she got medicine. Which we shared. I got better then… it was… so scary." Tara nodded. "Your mother took care of you?" Epona nodded. "And after I got better, but still didn't have work… she smiled and said 'you know, doctors offer a lot of money for people to take new kinds of medicines.'" Tara shook her head. "She wanted you to sell your body to some quacks with some half baked pills?" Epona nodded. "Sell my body, but not my mind, to the magic. It hurt a lot to hear that."

Tara shrugged uneasily. "Well… we all have to sell something." Epona rocked from side to side a bit. "Yes, but no. It was a bit of a bad joke mostly, but with a germ of truth… anyway… I found a tiny job offering… and then my mother spent the entire day combing through billboards, taking down the offer so others kids wouldn't see it." Epona raked her hands threw her hair. "I got the job," she added.

Tara nodded. "You needed the money." Epona looked at her hands. "I needed it, it's true. But my mother made more money than most families with both husband and wife working. I knew I needed to stand on my own, but why did she have to push so hard? Things were hard already… but not because we needed money. That was only… a symptom." Tara sighed. "I don't know what to say… so… shoulder to cry on?" Epona rubbed her face vigorously, a peculiar _moue_ across her face. "Nah!"

The dark haired girl leaned back a bit, "If you do too much, you lose perspective, my mystical, marvellous mistress." A spark of humor crossed her face like lightning. "You have to be nice, and not naughty! So I might just have to spank you now!" Epona crossed her arms. "On the bum," she added threateningly, the arch of her eyebrows poised into raised curves.

Tara's eyes slowly widened, from hard spoon, to tea cup, to saucer. "You wouldn't even get close." Epona _hmphed!_ "I'd get close enough, I bet! I'm the villain now!" Epona stuck her tongue out, a wicked gleam in her eyes. "Now imagine if you had two girls… whenever you acted naughty, at least one of us would be able to spank you!"

Tara wailed in horror! "_Goddess!_ You've found the one thing to ruin threesomes for me. Perfect! _Ah!_" Epona nodded, looking suddenly thoughtful. "But… that explains why you like having good chairs so much! You spend a lot of time keeping your bum safe from angry girls!"

Tara leered, wiggling her eyebrows. "Not _that_ safe."

Epona stared, sudden emotion and heat across her gaze. "Can we… please?" Tara chuckled. "Can we what?" Epona's eyes trailed down… to Tara's hands. "Can we have some time for soft things?" Tara laughed low… and slow… "I'm not sure my schedule of drinking and eating will let you find a spot." Tara looked as smug as a cat with cream as she added. "It's mostly drinking." Epona got on her hands and knees, and crawled slowly towards Tara. "Please… let me drink you… from your soft place."

Tara threw her head back as if to laugh… but smiled but said nothing. "I'm listening… make it good." Epona looked nonplussed for a moment before she rallied. "Please ma'am, let me feel your sex beneath my mouth, and my hands… and… umm… if I said nectar? Too much?" Tara nodded "Bit overused, I think. Not much of a flower girl." Epona paused in her progress, and kneaded the ground with cat like frenzy. "Oh no! Umm… How about a reversal of negative words? Dangerous… but it can be… in_toxic_ating!"

Tara half smiled, and gave her a thumbs up. "Go for it!"

Epona swayed back and forth. "Umm, okay! Oh… your poisonous blossom, and it's sharp thorn! Let me dull the edginess of its worry with my tongue, and flood the plains of your thighs with the salty joy of your inner sea." Epona finished in a low, throaty voice. "Can I please please you? Please… I need you. And if I make you happy…" She had crawled close enough for Tara to reach. Tara looked down at the enervated form of her slave. _Is she my mouse, or my snake?_ "_Beag luch, _you do some terrible things to me…"

Epona pressed her head against Tara's knee. "I'd do them everyday… I'd make what you need." "Make what I need?" Tara growled, her voice heavy "What do I need?" "Something soft?" Epona's voice was hopeful. "Something hard." Tara grasped her thin shoulders and pushed her to her side. Epona folded beneath the warrior. Once above, Tara tucked her heels against Epona's thighs and grasped the girls clothes, pulling and parting them, barring her chest. Almost desperately, Tara planted a kiss on the skin, breathing the smell in, inhaling the familiar comfort of a warm body. She found a softer swell, and swirl her tongue along its center… sucking on a reddened nipple. For an eon, Tara did nothing else, ignoring what might have been wails of pain or cries of passion. "Too much noise…" "Your hands… more… use them more…" Tara laughed. "More? More of these?" She held a fist beneath Epona's nose.

Epona raised her head and kissed it. She giggled. Tara, almost hesitantly, unclenched her hand, and felt Epona kiss her open palm… and a swirling lashing of tongue followed!

Tara's eyes flared "_You_…! Oh you… you crazy little minx…" She planted a firm kiss… and another… Tara's eased herself, lowering down close enough to kiss in retaliation! She grasped the girl's sides, and Epona gasped, twitching as if Tara had switched her. Epona's shudders continued… vibrations of body giving voice to passions of heart…

Epona lolled beneath her, languid and deliciously warm. "Ma'am… please… let me… your nectar… like this… on top!" Tara smiled… almost blushing. "You sure? You might drown." Epona made a sharp sound! "_I won't!_ You'll keep me safe… even from yourself!" Epona tried to wiggle herself downwards… towards the warrior's softness…

Tara looked up, away from the wicked thing beneath her. _What do I do now?_ "Hey, we said that's overused." She tried to keep her voice even, despite the growing fire in her belly… Epona blinked. "But… yours is way, _way_ underused! Now… if you move a bit… I can finally overuse it! Please make as much heat as you can!" Tara chuckled, "I remember when I could barely get you down there…" she shifted herself forward… until a quick tongue hit her in just the right spot. She gasped, and dug her hands into Epona's hair… feeling soft hands raking fire along her back… Because sometimes finding the right words means saying nothing at all… those soundless groaning words that break silence… or the sounds of Epona happily (and only occasionally) gasping for breath!


	30. Epona and a Kitten

_No to Vidictus? That's okay! It's a wierd game actually… the point is to hunt down thinking, writing Gnolls and… turn them into clothes? Whaaat? Wait, are we the bad guys?_

_SOOoo, I joined a guild… I saw a player called LucyIsBeast once… and I see you in every shadow. Gosh, I even stay away from 4chan's /sci board now… is that her? Did she write that? Mad and maddening. I'm not cut out for anonymous. Too many trolls. :d_

_Vindictus has some nice sheep… but maybe too much flashing lights and stuff._

_So only my stories tickle your fancy? From my matter you'll build a house I'll never live in! And I'm mad and sad? Really? _

_No! _

_But… what was the point me of telling you a story? To do something nice for someone I like._

Tara shifted a bit, bringing an arm a bit here and a bit there around Epona. Something inside her recoiled at the idea, but she might very well be engaged in snuggling at the moment. The smell was nice. The softness was good. The warmth was divine. It was a brisk autumn night. They had piled their clothes on top of the blankets. Her hand trailed down Epona… she felt a scar on her… many scars…_ scales_… Tara shuddered.

Epona felt the movement, a hitch in the softer symphony of moments ago. "It's okay, Tara." Tara sighed. "Nothing's okay. Does it hurt?" Epona pressed her face into her and said nothing. Tara sighed again. _I wish I could tell her I was sorry._ Bitter shame and black anger swirled, a whirlwind she always tried to push away. "I shouldn't of whipped you. Scars… shouldn't do that. I didn't know what it would do to your skin."

Epona smiled sadly. "It's only fair that my outside be as horrible as possible. It'll only keep getting bad, but some have it worse. Even more reason to work on my strengths. Every week!" _What strengths? You're every weaks._ But Tara said nothing. Tara reached out and softly squeezed the girl's belly. It was tight but soft under her hands. It was right above a point that pierced Tara herself so often.

Epona breathed a bit more deeply…. And mirrored her, he hand softly cupping Tara firmer stomach. "I like being safe. I like that you want me to be safe." _Her hands get so hot._

"Hmm… I read parts of a nice autobiography on Bertrand Russell. It was shocking the way he spoke of himself. So similar to some things I've thought about cold intelligence and giving yourself to the magic. And… the way he treated the women he loved. So bad! He was so bad at love and so good at being free. But I was glad too. He was very different from me. He was the youngest of his family. He never had to worry about others... _the state should serve the individual_ he said."

Tara pressed her face against the curly head. Epona was fever hot. _Still thin. She just burns it away…_ "Oh yeah?" Epona smiled a bit. "Yeah." Tara chuckled tiredly. "Another fancy thinker... I like your hands…" Tara brought one to her mouth and kissed it softly. "They get really hot... not something you'd think would make a girl any good, but I like it. You're… _eh_... hot." Epona smiled. "It's for holding babies. Hot hands are a must!"

Tara raised an eyebrow. _You sleep with a girl and what happens after? She goes into baby mode like a boat over a water fall. Gods help me_. "So I'm a big baby? Always hungry?" Epona kept silent and kept smiling, rubbing soft circles on Tara's belly. Tara chuckled again, somewhat awkwardly however. The warrior caught the straying hand on her stomach. "I figured it out." She kissed the captured hand's digits. "You were raised by wild cats." Something like a pout appeared to form on Epona. "Huh?" _Let's steer this boat away from the water fall of doom please._

"Earlier, you started massage the ground," Tara elaborated, "Like a cat." Epona eyes widened a bit. "I guess I did." Tara chuckled. "We'll get a cat or two, don't worry." Epona's eye fell away. _Now what?_ "A sad story?" Epona squeezed into Tara more closely. "No. I had a cat I called Zelda. I took care of her until she left to live with some neighbours. She didn't like being touched, and my family liked to care for things that weren't… family. Zelda had a daughter… Cleo? No, that was one of our dogs. I forgot her name… Names never mattered that much to me back then." Epona lapsed into a sad silence for a moment. "Of course! Gaia!"

"Well, Zelda had a daughter called Gaia. She was nicer… but not _that_ nice. One day she started getting fatter. She was going to have kittens." Epona's head went wide. "But I didn't know it then!" Tara chuckled. "Outside cats get that sometimes." Epona nodded, her face an expression Tara had never seen before. _Woah. Weird... hmm. She mixes them up and gets new ones. So that's… astonished, afraid and happy mixed up._

"So one day, I went to bed. Gaia didn't like sleeping next to people: just didn't like getting rolled on. But she liked sleeping next to me. Sometimes anyway. And one night, I woke up confused. I don't remember what woke me, but I knew Gaia was next to me and that I had to be careful. And then I heard a tiny sound! _Mew!_"

Epona's face was astonishment itself. "Kittens? Oh no! Gaia wasn't fat! So, I got out bed carefully, and turned on a light. One of the kittens had gotten lost in my blankets! They're born blind. And so disgusting! This was before my mother tried to _fix_ me by making me do things I didn't want to… like mowing the lawn even if it made plant dust made me sick and sneeze a lot... or doing the dishes… or talking to strangers... she didn't understand that I was _half_ Romusi, and that a lot of people hated me because of it. Especially back then. Things are better now. And she would get so angry when I wouldn't do the lawn… and I didn't know how to explain it. Mowing the lawn was _bad. _ Also…" Epona pouted a bit, "I liked the dandelions. Hurting them was wrong."

Tara prodded her softly. "Lost kitten?" Epona grimaced. "Yes… So the kitten was lost… and… and slimey and red! Not cute at all!" Tara chuckled. "Guess you only got the finished product. It's all pretty gross." Epona didn't disagree. "So… he (or she) was mewing anyway. She (or he) wasn't happy. I wanted him to be happy. So… I picked him up and put him next to his mom. He was wet, but not that much. Then I rushed out and woke _my_ mom up. I washed my hands after. Turns out I was sleeping on the couch that night! The next day, Gaia moved her kittens behind a staircase… out of reach of my family. Gaia was pretty smart."

Tara smiled, happy and sad. _What a screwed up kid… but some desperate animal turned to her when things were at their worst… she's never kicked me in her sleep… only when she's awake! _"Not bad. I expected some more heroisms, maybe a kitten kidnapping… but I guess it's okay heroics for a five year old." Epona's lapsed into her _funny-sad clown_ face_._ "But I was thirteen then…. And the story isn't over! More heroics!" Tara laughed. "Alright, alright. Let's hear it."

Epona vibrated a moment, and launched into the _tail_-spin. "So, after a few weeks, the kittens started eating a bit of real food. And of course, one day…" she patted Tara on the belly "they had to learn to poop."

Tara's guts clenched and her knees stiffened. "…okay." Epona face went into a mix of _I'm teaching!_, _I'm sorry…_ and dollop of _it gets better._ "So, one of the kitties panicked when he had to do his first poop! He (or she?) just started _mewing!_ Gaia was feeding the others, and didn't get up. So I tried to see what the problem was. It had… umm… gotten stuck half way and he'd given up and was just crying about it. I figured the first thing to do was stop him from panicking. So I just started petting him. His back was all tight and his claws had dug into the carpet. Lots of wasted energy. As I petted his back, he understood that only _part_ of him was in trouble. He only needed to work on the troublesome part. He let go of the carpet and did what he needed to do. He didn't need anything complicated… he needed comfort, and a bit of guidance. I was proud, and told my mother about the kitten and his big poop."

Tara was silent for a moment.

"Was… it the same cat? From the bed?" Epona smiled. "It didn't matter which one it was. But no."

Tara blinked. "Did… you just tell me a story about a cat pooping and made it interesting?"

Epona nodded gravely. "I did."

"_Damn _it Epona!"

Epona nodded again and then snuggled up against Tara again. The curly haired woman stared ahead. Her hand had continued it's idle rubbing of Tara's belly. "Tara… you're… not being very clear to me nowadays. But would you like me to rub your back? I don't like it, but I can always wash my hands later."

Tara muttered something unintelligible and pressed her face against into Epona's hair. "What?" "Just… go to bed." Epona yawned hugely. "Mmmhm… you're right I'm starting to see stars… G'night, Tara."

Nevertheless, a slim hand continued tracing circles on her. Tara sighed… but softly this time.


	31. Doing shameful Magic and feeling bad

_Sad, happy music from Eluvium: _.com/watch?v=lvAHrrtJgKc

_And so, another chapter in this devilish tale, wherein Epona tries to fill herself with something other than Tara. She gets drunk, high, electrocuted and then finds a smidge of peace. It's not a happy chapter… but… it's something. It's pretty disjointed, unhappy and inwards looking._

_Anyway, and odd fact, the tongue was actually the best way to measure electrical conductivity until the advent of the Wheatstone bridge. Yeah. Ow._

_The 1__st__ solenoids were just springs, which everyone had lying around. Those springs could be spooled, but no contact between the wires had to be in made for it to work at a noticeable level. The wires had to be coated. I guess it was some sort of grease… which is flammable. The electricity had to spin around the axis of the spool, and not go straight along. It's a very clear example of the incremental and unpredictable way science works._

_Basically, every _changing _current of electricity creates a magnetic effect, which in turns creates an electric force that opposes that change. It's action-reaction for electricity._

_Moving a magnet in the coiled wire moves something in the wire. The moving magnet induces an electric force. _

_On an unrelated note, it's hard to find very nice very black bread and been quite some time since I've done a boeuf bourguignon. The "path to peace" is no metaphore! Going out and jogging is super good!_

_And if this is more internet drama, then ignore it, and go jogging!_

_Be well!_

Epona sipped the last of the bottle. _The End of the World._ _Triple fermentation. Nice_… _and empty. Again._ The jumble of her thoughts quickened with the lucidity of chemical delirium._ Tara doesn't love me does she? I'm so sick of being alone. It feels like I've been sick of it since the day I was born._ _Tara. Does she really think being my friend and sometimes lover helps me? The story… what was the story? Find love in unlikely place and unusual fashion? Or girl does crazy things before and after a brief delusion of hope. Which one was it again?_ The alcohol was making her strange and bitter. _And tired. _Her eyes burned. An unpleasant feeling, but at least it was a feeling. Anything was better than the numb fear of her childhood. _Being cursed and alive is better than ignorant and afraid._ _What did most girls do when they feel like this? _From what she had seen: throw themselves at the nearest willing body who could bring a least a pretence of protection. The brash fools never understood what the girls who wanted. _And that always works out so nicely doesn't it? And could I even do that?_ Her curse tingled, and her scales tightening painfully. The pain of her body was always only a thought away. _Probably not… beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but now even a blind person could feel my ugliness._ No magic made in Roma could even touch it. At best, slow it._ What else can I do? Stories?_

Most of the stories being told around her seemed variants of: _"I tried really, really, hard and it didn't work but at least I have you guys." _or "_I did it on my own and I deserve all this, ha-ha!_" What would her story be? _I didn't try very hard and now I'm happy. Alone at last. It's so clear how Tara and me could never be together in peace._

Epona hummed a few brief notes. The vibration was nice. _People never really understood themselves. The image they presented, that they understood. Someone tells you what they see in you, so that's what you must be. But when you do it yourself..._ The perfect example was the singer she had loathed most. _Thom Myorke, who sang words of acerbic vitriol, and howled like a timid wolf. Until you try to sing like him, and feel the comfort of movement and vibration… and then you understood why he was loved. But hadn't he become popular before I understood that?_ Epona rubbed her fingers into her eyes and sighed._ Of course everyone understood it before me… poor dumb Epona. Always last in everything that counts._

_And where is Tara? With her. Dancing with her. Smelling her. Touching her. Loving her._ The storm quieted._ Happy with her._ Epona exhaled. _I am a beam of light._ _Coherent, focused and unpredictable. What is this story about? Helping Tara on hers. She needs armor. They only had this strange yellow bronze… no iron… but still. It won't rust in the ocean, bronze turns green._

A few rings of metal where scattered around the table. The majority were in the long shirt of armor. Many small things making a larger thing. _It must be like this with all things,_ Epona decided._ Weatherwax measured it, and I did most of it. You take a long wire, wrapped it around a tube, take it off the tube and then snipe the rings by cutting into it along the length of the cylinder. That makes rings. Then you snap the rings together with pincers. _The shirt was finished, but a great deal of wire remained, most of it covered in the greasy soot she had used as a polishing dust.

Idly, Epona began winding a spool around the metal rod. She stared at the reddish bundle, and the hand on the rod that plunged into its tangled depths. _This is what Tara is doing with her right now. Or maybe this is what she's doing to… to… my… Tara!_

Epona covered her mouth with her hand to still the scream the hovered on her lips. It was entirely possible that she could love Tara, while Tara might feel nothing at all for her, and simply love someone else. Epona blinked slowly as the realisation built.

Love given might not be returned.

Roughly, Epona pulled the coarse rod out of the reddish wire. _No._ She firmly placed the rod as far away as she could. She reached for the nearest replacement, the Lodestone she was playing with in her idle moments of fancy._ Something valuable! Something good!_ Teeth clenched and face flushed she thrust it into the opening as hard as she could. And again. And faster. She placed her thumb and tongue over the wire's end. The soot was bitter.

It _nipped_ her, leaving her tongue tingly!

And even stranger, all the scattered rings seemed to have moved in a circle around it.

Epona blinked and felt a small fear. _It bit me._ _What am I doing? Nothing. Nothing. Just more silly games. More lies. All cold mind, and no warm body. I'm so tired. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't like this game._

She walked to her bed to fall into the softness. _I should wash the sheets… _but the acrid animal soft smell was a comfort. _This is my home, this is where I'm safe from the loud, the bright. The only mess here is mine. I will fill a garden with the statues of fallen heroes. When I go outside, I'll wear a box on my head with a tiny hole. A camera obscura. They will point and laugh and call me Leonardo DaVinci_. She clutched her pillow to her chest and tried not to cry.

o-o-o-o-o

Tara sat at the dinner table, her face stiff. Her guard was up, but she had to be civil. The first one to snap would lose. The old woman eyed her balefully. "Don't slouch!" Tara returned the stare coldly. "I never have." Adalia clucked her tongue. "Behave you two! We can argue after the food all you want." The meal was some hot beef stew and brown, almost black, bread smeared with honey and butter. _Black bread that tastes sweet and soft brown beef… I think there's wine in this stew. Contrasting the color to the tastes? That's so Epona_. Tara felt a small glow of affection_._ Adalia forwent the meaty soup and had the bread with a mashed chickpea spread. _No meat… How are we going to carry enough bread to feed her?_ Another small problem to the pile keeping her in this town."Where is Epona anyway?" Tara groused. Weatherwax shrugged briefly. "She made some tea and went for a nap."

Tara half-smiled. _I should go over and slide between the covers to thank her... hmm… she took a nap? She hardly ever does that… she has trouble sleeping._ "Has she been staying up late again?" Adalia huffed. "Of course she has. Shirking her work again. I've never met anyone as lazy as her!" Weatherwax appeared surprised by Adalia's harsh tone. "Lazy? Well, I suppose that depends on what she thinks is work… and she doesn't seem any different than usual when she's awake." Weatherwax frowned, seeming to think of someone, "and at least she does the dishes."

Tara stared at her bowl with a frown, and then shrugged. "Whatever. She can go do whatever the hell she wants. If she wants to stay alone in her room, that's fine with me." Adalia spooned another helping into Tara's bowl with a happy smile. Tara reached out and squeezed her knee with a half-smile in thanks.

o-o-o-o-o

Epona wedged the chair against the door as silently as she could. The _other one_ was outside with Tara and Granny. The _other one_ was gentle, innocent and sweet and loved Tara as much, or more, as she did.

She terrified Epona. _Which was only appropriate, really, as I'm the villain. Villains live in fear of heroes, therefore, those who live in fear are villains. And I'm terribly afraid right now. But heroes are afraid of villains. How do you tell one from the other?_ The thought brought her up short. _How do you decide who a villain is, anyway?_

Epona eyed the cake nervously. It was unusual in most respects. It was peculiar in that she had placed a quantity of Tara's sweetleaf within it. About the same amount Tara put in her pipe. _But… a little goes a long way for me. I wonder what it will do to me. I'll probably see flashing lights…_

She had the cake with some tea. She wondered if she should write, or read, or even try some magic while she waited for it to do something. Epona settled for just looking out the window and dreaming of a soft, sandy beach where she'd have a small hut, and nothing but gentle wind blowing across her naked skin. There would be an island dweller. A beautiful, soft, faceless form whom she would teach to speak and love. She would have the most beautiful large eyes and a simple sweet smile. They would do honest work together. The loud, teeming masses of worn, tired humanity would leave them be. _Me? Do honest work?_ Epona smiled bitterly. _This really is a dream._

_Villains are the ones with too large appetites and a plan for second helpings. Heroes are the ones who tear it down… and replace it with their own plan. I hate people. The faceless, plague ridden, hungry masses of Roma. But I really like persons. Tara. Granny. My friends. My sisters and brothers. Actually, I like everyone I meet! The whole world is my island!_

She rubbed her chest. A strange feeling of… _bread_ was in her there. _This is new._ It didn't feel good or bad. It just felt _bread_. She felt hungry also. _This is it? I wonder why Tara thought this was special stuff… Tara…_ Epona knew Tara had a dark side. Her dream had its dark side. _And does she want me to fulfill it too? Violence and blood… and… a dark firestorm that ate everything it touched. Something that never understands: NO, means NO._ It was a miserable thought and at odds with her gentle dream.

_Does she want me to be her owner? She would rule the world and I would rule her bed? But I don't want to rule anything, or anybody. Water flows and joins. It runs and soothes. When is the last time I went running? I can't remember. It's cold out. I hate the cold! _

_Will we be stuck here during the winter? And what would we do all winter long?_ It occurred to Epona that two people in love stuck together wasn't so bad a thing… a blush spread across her face. Epona stirred, and a hand slide idly down the length her own body. _Why does she always make me so… hungry?_

Epona huffed a breath or two and tried to follow a thought out of that vortex.

_Imagine a wolf, alone in a cave. Every creak and sounds startles it. It cannot rest. But what if the wolf knows it has a pack? Others it can trust to care for it, when it's hurt. The wolf can rest, because it knows it's loved. Suppose that wolf is a woman. She can understand far more how safe she is then when she's alone. She can rest, and not worry about every creak and crack in her cave. A society of love and trust does more than keep things stable. It heals and nurtures. It creates. Necessity isn't the drive of creation! Love is! Trust is!_

_Tara needs to learn how, and who, to trust. So she can heal. And am _**I**_ someone she can trust? Someone who can take care of her when she's hurting?_ Epona sighed._ Can she wear this armor and be confident?_ _She can trust my hands at least. My hands are honest. My stories are more truth than fiction... but can you trust the truth? Maybe. And I can trust my feet and motion. I don't care how cold it gets tomorrow. _

_I'm going running! Everything is better when I run!_ _It's much better than this bread stuff._

And what could she do about Weatherwax? Would she leave the old wolf on the edge of town, all alone? The old woman seemed to be filled with so many _rules_. Children did _X_ until time _T_, then men did _Y_ and women did _Z,_ which was the joined set _Y-Z_. When her children stopped being children, she had slammed the book down and chased them away so they could find destiny.

You are now_ XT_, you must do _Y-Z, so get out_. _How silly. That ruled really messed with her life. _Even now, Granny had mentioned that the town's sausage factory needed workers. _It was the only work in town, and you had to work. That's the Rule. _Epona shuddered. The thought of sharp knives and endless rows of red and white meat filled her with dread. All of it under cold, frigid light that hurt her eyes. Even worse was the fact that even if she _had_ wanted to, it was more than likely she was too clumsy for the work. At best, she'd get fired. At worst, she'd lose a thumb.

Epona had patched up Weatherwax's home as best she could, but couldn't stay. She had to finish what she had begun. The call of the magic was too strong_._ She had to return to it, it was who she was. Life had no meaning without it. And even if she could never master it, at least it took her mind off the pain.

_I'll get Granny's children back._ Epona considered that angle. _Likely Granny would interpret it as she would be the child then._ _So_ _that might work, but I don't like the idea that she lose her independence. Then again, the thought of wearing diapers had made her pretty riled up..._ _and would she be happy? _Epona sighed. _Enough games._ _I doubt anything I do could make that happen but at least someone will care for her_._ That's possible… but maybe her children have learned more since then. Maybe they can learn to love and share with each other now._ _I have to get her to throw away her rulebook, or at least convince her to rewrite the blasted thing!_

_I want to be with Tara… even if it's clear she doesn't really want me around anymore. I don't even see how we can be together anymore. _Despite it all, the love she felt for the red headed warrior was still strong, although tired and worn with what felt like years of travel. Epona sighed unhappily. _I feel so lost when I think of her… but I can't stop thinking of her._ Shadows spread slowly as the Sun went down. Epona curled into a ball around her soft pillow and thought of how comfort was created.


End file.
